Continue or let it die

badboyjmm · May 22, 2015

I've met a chick on Tinder. We meet twice and the second that, we were at my place drinking wine and listening to music. I didn't bang but I figured it would be for another time.

Keeping my text to a minimum, I mention that she's good company and she reply by saying that she's glad she has a new friend. I don't say anything, wait a few days nd try to see her again. I'm pretty much aiming to get a FWB. So I invited her for last week, she mention that she's busy. I tell her to keep me posted but I don't hear from her. 3 days later I asked her to meet me at my place for Thursday, mention that she can't but she rather meet on Sunday at 7pm for coffee somewhere downtown (she lives downtown)... I interject by mentionning we should go out for drinks and she accept.

Speaking to a good friend of mine and my sister, they all agree that I should cancel and let her know that it's pointless to see eachother since she just want to be a friend and I'm trying to have some fun

So should I cancel and or try to see what she's about on Sunday ?

usernamedox11 · May 22, 2015

Sometimes girls just say that because they don't what else to say at such an early point. I wouldn't look too much into it unless you have done zero physically with her so far. If you haven't at least made out with her yet, see if you can get her to at least make out with you, if she does, you're definitely not just a friend.

Infern0 · May 22, 2015

badboyjmm said:
I've met a chick on Tinder. We meet twice and the second that, we were at my place drinking wine and listening to music. I didn't bang but I figured it would be for another time.

Keeping my text to a minimum, I mention that she's good company and she reply by saying that she's glad she has a new friend. I don't say anything, wait a few days nd try to see her again. I'm pretty much aiming to get a FWB. So I invited her for last week, she mention that she's busy. I tell her to keep me posted but I don't hear from her. 3 days later I asked her to meet me at my place for Thursday, mention that she can't but she rather meet on Sunday at 7pm for coffee somewhere downtown (she lives downtown)... I interject by mentionning we should go out for drinks and she accept.

Speaking to a good friend of mine and my sister, they all agree that I should cancel and let her know that it's pointless to see eachother since she just want to be a friend and I'm trying to have some fun

So should I cancel and or try to see what she's about on Sunday ?

You have over perused slightly. The first time she gave you I'm busy is when you did well by saying let me know but then you slipped a bit by calling again 3 days later. If you met her on tinder you are one of a few guys so you have to separate yourself from the pack with a take it or leave it attitude.

The key is to have a bit of patience, sit back and chill and let the afc's turn her off then she thinks "gee I haven't heard from badboy did he not like me wtf" then her ego is pierced and she calls you, get her out and put the moves on.

You are in a bit of a pickle with asking her out again this weekend, I'd cancel citing being busy and then drop off the radar and if she reaches out, do what I said in the last paragraph.

Lozboss · May 22, 2015

Cancel,

Drop her from your life. If she reaches out she's interested- if not then you've already moved on.

sph21 · May 22, 2015

She's definitely not interested in you. The first clue was "she's glad she has a new friend" and the second was "I'm busy". If she's really busy and she's so into you, she would made an alternative to your offer.

badboyjmm · May 22, 2015

Well I figured that meeting her would confirm if she's wants to have fun or not.

However, I just have a bad feeling about it meeting a girl downtown while she already been to my place . Maybe she was bored, maybe she enjoyed drinking wine and not paid for it (mind you she did dishes and wash the wine glasses, it was also a cheap bottle 20$)

Plus the whole friend thing is weird.

Anyways I've send her the following: "Hey girl, I got to cancel for Sunday because of a car project, let me know when you are free so we can reschedule"

She replied: No worries ! Happy car repairing.

She's probably not interested. I will delete my Tinder for a while and we'll see what happen.

Thanks guys

dk1990S111 · May 22, 2015

badboyjmm said:
She's probably not interested. I will delete my Tinder for a while and we'll see what happen.

Thanks guys

Why delete? lol

badboyjmm · May 22, 2015

dk1990S111 said:
Why delete? lol

Whenever the rate of matches starts to go low or the girls don't respond, I delete the account for a while and re-created.

I get fresh matches that way

Also, I know I shouldn't take girls seriously, but when you get rejected left and right in real life and online, I like to take a break before it affects my confidence

dk1990S111 · May 22, 2015

Oh ok, makes sense

badboyjmm · May 27, 2015

applegoo said:
Sometimes girls just say that because they don't what else to say at such an early point. I wouldn't look too much into it unless you have done zero physically with her so far. If you haven't at least made out with her yet, see if you can get her to at least make out with you, if she does, you're definitely not just a friend.

I'm sure I could of done more kino, but we did kiss a few times (no make out).

Oh well I canceled and I haven't heard back since safe to say nothing is happening.

Thanks again guys

Innovator · May 27, 2015

There is really no way of knowing whether she is legitimately busy or if she is just playing with your head, other than going out with her. If she shows up to your date and seems interested, we know what that means. However, if she becomes conveniently "busy" again, she is not interested. Test her out!

TheMonkeyKing · May 27, 2015

I think that second time at your place, she might have been after something more but didn't get it. That may be why she friend-zoned you. She might have thought you weren't interested and is protecting herself. Women don't generally come to your house to drink wine and listen to music just to be friends my man

Arrange something next week (at your place again!) and have the confidence to escalate a little. Seems like it's actually going quite well at first glance, to be fair.

badboyjmm · May 27, 2015

Innovator said:
There is really no way of knowing whether she is legitimately busy or if she is just playing with your head, other than going out with her. If she shows up to your date and seems interested, we know what that means. However, if she becomes conveniently "busy" again, she is not interested. Test her out!

Makes sense, it just that it threw me off that she didn't want to swing by my place another time

TheMonkeyKing said:
I think that second time at your place, she might have been after something more but didn't get it. That may be why she friend-zoned you. She might have thought you weren't interested and is protecting herself. Women don't generally come to your house to drink wine and listen to music just to be friends my man

Arrange something next week (at your place again!) and have the confidence to escalate a little. Seems like it's actually going quite well at first glance, to be fair.

Hehe you do got a point, girls know what the deal is when they get invited to a guy's crib. I just didn't want take a chance of going on a date with her on Sunday where she was opting to meet another place. (On that second date, I met with her at the bus station near my place, then drove around to get wine and food then we went to the crib)

I figured that I would just wait to see what's up. But history shows that she isn't coming up with plans or intention to meet. I usually ask her on a date and she tell me right away whether it works with her or not.

So multiple things can happen here:
I invite her to the crib and she accepted - cool
I invite her and she says I'm busy without a counter offer- I will simply ignore her
I invite her to the crib and she wants to meet downtown instead - should I even bother ?

Uncharted · May 28, 2015

Coffee on a third date is boring. You need to invite her over or get over to her place.

You need to have sex with her soon or it will be over.

As for everyone saying it's over - it probably already is. But why not ask her to come over one more time?

I recently had to chase a flaky girl more than normal but we banged on the second date and she's been texting me like a lovestruck maniac ever since.

mikey2012 · May 28, 2015

Not banging her is a BIG mistake.

Innovator · May 28, 2015

badboyjmm said:
On that second date, I met with her at the bus station near my place, then drove around to get wine and food then we went to the crib

Why not take the same approach again? Women don't like feeling slutty by going straight to your place. Go have an action date (e.g., play laser tag, drive go karts) and apply kino to the arms first. Escalate to the hair, ears, and neck along with a kiss. After that, tell her you want to show her something and lead her by the hand. Take her home and show her this really cool movie that just came out. Interstellar is pretty interesting and LONG/COMPLEX enough to serve as a bang movie.

You need to make a move ASAP or she's going to thing you're a bigger wimp that what she already thinks you may be. Show her she's wrong and bang her hard.

badboyjmm · Jun 2, 2015

Quick update

I was rescheduling with her a mini-golf date to the upcoming Saturday (since I cancelled it last time). Made a joke about the first date, she mention something to the effect that I'm a friend.

I reply "lol with benefits ?" She said that time will tell, that she's casually dating and that she seeing what feels right

I replied: I got time

Then yesterday, I got a message mentioning that she will be helping a friend move and that we should reschedule. Proposed Thursday, she's busy.

Since I'm out of town this weekend, I proposed next Thursday (June 11) she accepts but a few hours later, tell me that she ''forgot'' that she's out of town for a wedding.

Told her to keep me posted

Well I will keep radio silence, I believe there's some interest, but it's a bit too low for my liking.

RangerMIke · Jun 2, 2015

She likes you but her interest level is low... not so low that you are done, but you would have to do lots of things right, and make few mistakes.

Men should never cancel dates... keep the date then back away for a couple of weeks and see if she reaches out to you. If she doesn't then you have your answer and move on.

badboyjmm · Jun 2, 2015

RangerMIke said:
She likes you but her interest level is low... not so low that you are done, but you would have to do lots of things right, and make few mistakes.

Men should never cancel dates... keep the date then back away for a couple of weeks and see if she reaches out to you. If she doesn't then you have your answer and move on.

Fair enough, I just had a bad feeling about the date, so I decided to cancel it. Anyways since I told her to keep me posted, I will wait until I hear something back from her.

One thing I realize is that she's very quick to reply her messages, but she never reaches out to make plans. Anyways, radio silence and hopefully my Tinder can start working so I can check out some other ladies

ImTheDoubleGreatest! · Jun 3, 2015

You snooze you lose.

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