Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

College-bound! Back where I began.. but not really.

asianbboy

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So I didn't get into my #1 choice. It sucks, because getting into top Ivy League schools and their kin makes your college life a lot easier due to grade inflation. I got into my second/third choice, and slowly I'm growing happier with the choice. I get to move to the West Coast! It's so much better there. The weather is amazing and people are just nicer in general.

Regarding girls - I feel like I'm back on square one. Last summer, I put on a new personality. I became much more aggressive, playful with girls. Got laid a few times, but the girls didn't like me much after. What it shows though is that the only thing you need to do to get laid is to be confident and physical. The rest will follow naturally.

But I STILL struggle with conversation. Often times I have nothing to say. I put myself in a playful mindset but nothing comes to mind. Even at my best, when I'm definitely in control and not nervous, I don't have anything to say. I know why though - I don't go out enough/do enough cool things. I'm working on that. I'm also going to take improv classes to improve my humor and perspective on life, because I've heard they help a lot.

Finally - my approach anxiety depends on a lot of factors. In the summer, it was practically non-existent. Now it's back. I just saw a ridiculously cute girl on the bus the other day and I didn't approach. Tomorrow I'm going to approach, no matter how ****ing awkward it gets.

The reason I'm keeping this journal is so I have a strong motivation to accomplish my goals, to write down here that I did follow through.

Goals for the next few months:
1. Make money
2. Become good at improv comedy
3. Date girls, or at least approach ones I find attractive

I know this post was kind of stream-of-consciousness style, and I apologize. Hopefully my writing ability will get better as well as time goes on.

Peace out.
 

asianbboy

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Couple habits I might try:
-No fap (mixed results, I think it's placebo)
-Cold showers (this one is great for making you more aware and making your brain faster but I don't shower in the morning lol)
-Meditation (no excuse for this one, need to work on it)
-Affirmations (heard this works)
 

asianbboy

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Went to a party. I was talking with a girl and her friend. Let's call the girl HB Hannah. She's extremely beautiful but evidently not so popular with the people at the party lol. One of my old buddies, I'll call him Jacob, comes up and starts talking to her, gets more attention from her. Then he leaves.

I'm pretty sure she wasn't feeling me too much, although I had good conversation with her and made her laugh a bunch of times. I pussied out by not getting physical. It would've been so easy.. I should've just laid my arm around her ASAP. I made up a bunch of excuses for not doing it. I also didn't get her number.

I messaged her on FB for her number, got no response so far. I'm sure it's better to get the number in person.

Cliffs
-Need to get more physical faster. I got put off by the nature of the party, which was just a casual get-together.
-Pretty much not nervous once we get into a conversation.. Usually I just let the girl talk after a few openers, girls love to talk
-My body language isn't as good, I probably seemed a bit more nervous than my friend Jacob. I don't think he was much more charismatic than me besides my nervousness.
 

asianbboy

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So a girl was flirting with me hard, asked me to take her out for food. We go and get it, I get her back to my room, then... "I have a boyfriend."
Of course, a bull**** lie. I've been thinking why this happened and my guess is that is that she was ****-testing me a bunch of times and I failed. When we were out she kept saying she was cold, maybe trying to get me to put my arm around her. I was too ***** to do so in public. Then I guess when I tried to do it back at my place she caught on to that. She said she was "uncomfortable". I need to improve my inner game so that I'm confident enough to be flirty in public.

Another girl. Hooked up with her, then I became too desperate sounding in text. I suck at texting and I need to get better at it. I need to snap out of the euphoria I feel when hooking up with a girl, which causes ***** behavior. Girls can sniff out desperation even over text.
 

Ronaldo7

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So a girl was flirting with me hard, asked me to take her out for food. We go and get it, I get her back to my room, then... "I have a boyfriend."
Lol. Good luck with being used. Off to a great start.

Would you pay for a guy if he wanted you to take him out for food? No. Why would you do so for a girl? Make her pay her part and you won't be confused with an ATM next time.
 

asianbboy

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Ronaldo7 said:
Lol. Good luck with being used. Off to a great start.

Would you pay for a guy if he wanted you to take him out for food? No. Why would you do so for a girl? Make her pay her part and you won't be confused with an ATM next time.
We shared a cup of yogurt lol.
 

Ronaldo7

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asianbboy said:
We shared a cup of yogurt lol.
Not the point. You basically gave in to her wants. Ask yourself if she would do the same. You need to incline the balance towards your side. Exert your dominance early on or get stepped on afterwards.
 

asianbboy

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Ronaldo7 said:
Not the point. You basically gave in to her wants. Ask yourself if she would do the same. You need to incline the balance towards your side. Exert your dominance early on or get stepped on afterwards.
I'm honestly not sure at this point if I ****in up with girls becaus I'm too dominant or a *****. Like the other girl I was talking about in the post I did nothing wrong really but I pretty dominant and leadin when hookin up. Next night I asked her to come watch a movie and she wanted to play pool. I ended up playing pool with her and she didn't show me much love there, maybe that's where I ****ed up.
 

rugby11

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Hey man go in their with your goals and do your best... When your goals are set you will me able to have thing's come and flow.
 

asianbboy

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Masturbation/porn has such a huge effect on how well I can talk to girls... It's a night and day difference. I decided to watch porn yesterday and today I started stuttering and blanking out when I talked to a cute chick. Probably missed out on a lay right then and there. I was walking with her back from class and she's like I'm going to get coffee, wanna come. I went and we talked for a little bit longer and she got the coffee and left. **** me...

When I have a dry spell I wanna watch and let go, obviously, but afterwards I always end up meeting chicks and being a ****ing mess...

I need to figure out a way to control my sexual urges. Maybe just stop watching the porn because I think that's the stuff that ****s me up.
 

asianbboy

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General update: first semester’s almost ending and I’ve definitely made progress. I’ve been told I’m a really social guy. I can talk to almost anyone without approach anxiety. I’ve ****ed a few girls and could’ve kept ****ing them but 1) they are average-looking (definitely not ugly by any standards), 2) personalities are boring and 2) they want to date and I don’t want to lead them on. I think what’s really holding me back is social game. I don’t really have a cool group of friends yet, even though I’ve made dozens upon dozens of acquaintances.

The problem is I’m not good at building a social circle. I get how to do it. You text people you meet to get-together, but it’s like “come to our kickback” and they come and it’s me and two other dudes… I know it’s like a snowball effect, the cooler your social circle is the cooler it’ll become.

Part of the problem is that most people here are in clubs/frats for their social circles and I didn’t join any. I’ll have to but I’m not really interested in anything.

I think at this point my game is good enough that I can win almost any girl once I get her on the date. I had a girl who was definitely not down the first time I was with her become my ****buddy after we met up. So the key now is to get a good social circle to get introduced to the hot girls by their friends, thereby making it way easier to meet up.

Also, getting big is probably more important than anything I’m doing. Once I get my bench to 225 I’m going to start working towards hypertrophy instead of strength. Being good-looking makes cold approaches so much easier.

Also: if I see that girl who I “got” coffee with again, once I’m back in my normal state I’ll definitely be able to get her number, move it forward…
 
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