Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Milk's Journal

Milks

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Hey guys, I'm a senior in highschool. I've been at sosuave for maybe a year or 2, just been soaking up alot of information as I could but I was lazy. Never really put any action into the the things i learned, just always read theory and it did help. I gained more confidence, but my relationship with women remained stagnant. I would also periodically stop visiting and revisiting sosuave whenever i had oneitis problems. But today I got inspired to actually start doing some ****.

12-20-13
Today I had a band concert, and a few friends and I were just hanging around when a friend of mine sees a girl he thinks is really cute. So here i am trying to get him to talk to her and he just wont. Then a wire flicks inside my head and I decide im gonna try to show off i guess and get her number. I walk up to her- shes with two of her friends, a fat girl, and a really skinny beta looking kid- and this is how the convo pretty much went:

Me: hey whats up, are you guys in concert band?
Hb7: What's concert band, you mean intermediate band? (pretty stupid question)
Me: Yea, intermediate band.
Hb7: Yea we are
Me: That's cool (I totally ****ing suck at conversation, even when im with my friends, im just kind of introverted)... So what instrument do you guys play? (kind of a stupid question on my part considering two of them are ****ing hold clarinets)
Beta: I play percussion
Fat chick and hb7: we play clarinet
Me: Thats cool (was running out of **** to say leading me to...) So whats your number?
Hb7:(she kind like laughs in astonishment i guess because of my bluntness and being an underclassmen shes probably never been hit on) *gives me number*
Me: What's your name? (i ****ing forgot to introduce myself and ask their names first.)
Hb7: Hb7
Me: Ok I gotta get going see you around (i give her a really awkward handshake, she was all like *wtf are you doing ohh a handshake*)

Yeah, it went pretty bad, but my friends were impressed, thinking i had game and ****. I looked like **** during it too, i just woke up from a nap, my hair was messy and I probably had bad breath. Later i try to get my friend to talk to her and this is where it ****ing crashes and burns (I do this when shes talking to another guy, my ****ing mistake):

Me: Hey Hb7 (i hit her on the shoulder like she was my bro, lol wtf was i thinking) This is my friend Friend.
Friend: Hi (She then says hi and goes back to talking to guy friend and we're here standing like idiots)
Me: (Dont what to do so i ask: ) Hey Hb7 what grade are you in?
Hb7: 9th (turns back on us for guy friend)

Then we leave because of how bad it went. Yeah that was ****... I see her around several times later and i kinda just ignore her thinking i ****ed up (but i didnt let it get me down i was just hangin with my friends) Everytime i pass her by, out of the corner of my eye, i see her look at me. But i don't make eye contact cuz deep down I feel awkward. While walking with my friends i decide to delete her number (that was just me trying to look awesome in front of my friend and making it look like getting numbers was easy but i think i regret it now. Eh, she was kinda young for me anyway).
Later she passes me by one more time and I ignore her again but then she says: "Hey what was your name, I never got it?" So i tell her my name and then im just like okay bye. Perhaps a possible interest or curiosity because she wouldnt have asked if she thought i was completely terrible.

It was my first cold-approach and while it would seem pretty bad for most people on this board, this was a really inspiring step for me, because I feel motivated to f*** b****es now. Im going to get back in shape again during winter break, mostly for track season (I used to lift weights, not alot, because my parents are strict *Asian* and don't want me to hurt myself or buy me weights, but i got lazy). Gotta work on my conversation skills and charisma overall. Also need to get a new haircut and eat better. So yeah wish me luck, probably won't do many of these journals though.

*not that it matters but I remember that there was a small conversation about bowties I had with her. She complimented mine and I tried to play with that to keep the conversation going. She then talked about a bowtie she had and I was like "oh thats cute!".
 
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NorwegianDJ

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Probably won't do many of these journals? Buddy, the concurrent theme of your post is that you always give up. You gotta start seeing SOMETHING through, might as well be this.
 

Milks

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Yeah, I probably should do more of these journals. I'll try to do at least a weekly input.

12-22-13
These past 2 days, I've been running every morning. I'm trying to keep consistent and lose some fat. It's winter break over here and I'm trying to make the most of it and improve as much I can. I also bought some rackets and am trying to pick up tennis as a new hobby. Could be used as a date option for me in the future to show off mah skills if i keep at it. I can imagine it now; playing tennis with a cute girl wearing short-shorts HNNNNNGGG.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna try to go to the mall with my friends to try picking up some women. My mom's really reluctant on letting me go, she's really ****ing overprotective and doesn't like me riding with teenage drivers. I need to get my driver's license soon so I can do **** myself. But if I do go tomorrow, it'll be like my first real cold approach and not someone whom I have a common interest with. I'm really looking forward to it. I've been kind of on a high since I got that girl's number a few days ago. Wish me luck, I'll update on how it went tomorrow.

My Goals During the Next 2 Weeks:
-Get my driver's license
-Keep running every morning
-Start lifting weights again (gotta find a better routine to do)
-finish all the ****ing homework I have
-Apply for scholarships for college
-Apply to a university and send my SAT scores
-Get a sexy haircut, I look like ****ing bruce lee with a mullet right now
-Practice drawing

*I'll try to refrain from making this a diary and just keep it approach reports and goals. No one wants to read the boring ass stuff.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Remember that losing fat is all about diet! Running and working out will make you feel better, more fit, and look better.

It's your journal, it's for you.
 

Milks

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12-23-13
Went to the mall today with my friends. I was only there for 2 hours trying to hit on women. I started out slow, and my friends were f***ing putting so much pressure on me to hit on women. Like wtf. They were like "We're doing this because of you". They were right I guess, I was kinda being a p***y, 30 mins had passed and all we did was circle around the mall. So we stop at the food court to eat, it justs me and one friend sitting at a table, I'll call him Matt. And Matts giving me all this s*** how Im being a total b**** and "be a man" type s*** (he was doing this the whole time it was kind of f***ing annoying). He was acting like he had sooo much experience with this just because he has a girlfriend he met through a mutual friend. So yeah that was annoying. But none the less, he was right. So I stood up and sat next to a girl sitting by herself at a table near us. She had a thick Spanish accent, it was kinda hard to tell what she was saying:

Me:Oh man, there are just no empty seats around. (Lol the whole area around her was pretty much empty)
HB6:*giggles*
Me:Hey what's your name? (I just remembered I forgot to f***ing introduce myself again wtf)
HB6Itsel
Me:That's a weird name. I've never met an Itsel before. Where are you from?
Itsel:Mexico (I just nod my head)
Me:So what are you doing here by yourself?
Itsel:I'm on a lunch break.
Me:Oh where do you work at?
Itsel:Forever 21
Me:Oh thats cool, you think you can get me a discount?
Itsel:*giggles* Is that why you came here, for discounts?
Me:mmm, yeah I guess (lol could've said a smoother line) *she giggles*
Me:(After a few seconds of silence)So what was your name again? (I really did forget) *She says it again* That's so strange, what does it mean?
Itsel:It means Moon God (or some s*** like that, she had an accent)
Me:So Itsel, what's your number?
Itsel:*giggles* Why do you want my number?
Me:I think you're really cute.
Itsel:I have a boyfriend.
Me:Can I be your 2nd one? (yep, used that cliche line)
Itsel:*giggles* Noo

Then after that I just say it was nice meeting you and leave. Also to note, I shook hands with her at the beginning, Matt thought I shouldn't shake women's hands but f*** him. Yeah, right as I got up they move tables so we wouldnt be near her, pretty much read my mind. This approach was the only one I followed through with, It was easier because she was by herself. Yeah I didnt do too well with this approach either, you guys have any tips for me?

We spent like an hour circling around the mall like 5 times. I b****ed out so many times. Everytime there was like a girl Matt would like f***ing push me in the direction, he was being pretty annoying. Like ,let me f***ing handle s*** god. Then two okay asian girls are walking with like french hats. And Matt f***ing pushes me into their direction. I didn't really know what to say so I said "Nice hats" but they *f***ing didn't hear me so I did a really embarrassing thing and poke them, and repeat "Nice hats" before they f***ing even look at me, Then they turn around and give me the "Wtf this guy is creepy" look. Pretty much killed my vibe the last half-hour. I kinda just let it go, but i knew inside i was still wallowing in the embarrassment.

Yeah, other times i would attempt an approach but b**** out and decide to pretend to look at merchandise. I don't know how some of you guys do mall game, that s*** was harder than I thought. I would try to talk to a girl walking but she'd look like she was in a hurry or really busy and I just let it go. Most of the girls were inside girly shops and I didn't wanna go in there because what f***ing reason would I have to be in there? I tried to go to shops with a nice distribution of men and women but all the hots ones weren't there. Idk, I was too scared to hit on women with groups or males with them (didnt want to like meet a dad or boyfriend and get my ass kicked) because I just wouldn't know what the f*** to do. I wanted to try girls who were in pairs but I got AA. You guys have any tips on mall game?

My friend, Ill call him John, did get one number from this girl who was by herself. I was happy for him, but Johns this really egotistical guy. I could tell a change in his demeanor from a cowardly one to an arrogant one after getting her number. He kinda pisses me off sometimes when he starts to think he's the s***. The rest of the time he was goading me on and saying why wont you hit on them and stop being a b****. I got tired of it and was just like "Why don't you go do it" and he gives me this bs excuse how he already got a number. I asked Matt to do the same but he gave me the girlfriend excuse s***. Wtf, I don't need advice from people who don't know what the f*** they're doing. They knew just as much as me, maybe even less. There was a third friend with us, named Jake, he was really shy with aproaching and was just following us.

*yeah thanks for the tip, I am trying to eat healthy as well and am still keeping to my morning routine.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Expect people to act like that involving approaching.

Dont say a name is weird. I used to do it too, but it's just a downer.

Dont shake hands either, it's usually just weird unless you can make something off it.
 

BookWorm

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Great start to a journal! I'm in concert band too! What instrument do you play? (Percussion 5 lyfe!)

The interaction with the girl at the mall didnt seem that bad, she just seemed to not be interested. Or at least that's my take on it.

Keep posting man!
 

Milks

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BookWorm said:
Great start to a journal! I'm in concert band too! What instrument do you play?
I play the trombone and euphonium. I'm also in marching band, do you do marching band?

1-5-14
The past week I completely lazed around playing video games. Most of the time that couldve been spent on improvement was spent on tv and video games. I ran only a couple times this week. The don juan vibe kinda just comes and goes for me. I have to learn to make this a habit. Schools starting tomorrow and I completely procrastinated on homework. I only managed to finish half of it today. As for the rest of the goals I had during the break, heres a recap:

My Goals During the Next 2 Weeks:
-Get my driver's license
didn't take the test yet, but I did practice a lot these 2 weeks. I'm a pretty damn good driver now, I'll probably have my license in a few weeks.
-Keep running every morning
I ran 4 times the 1st week and twice the 2nd week
-Start lifting weights again (gotta find a better routine to do)
I was too lazy.
-finish all the ****ing homework I have
I did half of it today alone
-Apply for scholarships for college
only applied for FAFSA, did no essays whatsoever
-Apply to a university and send my SAT scores
nope
-Get a sexy haircut, I look like ****ing bruce lee with a mullet right now
got a different haircut from the usual, actually really like it
-Practice drawing
naww

Things I need to improve on:
-stop lazying around. Don't go for short term comfort rather than long term achievement.
 

RiceandChicken

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Dude, I play Tuba. Low brass kicks a**!

Also, dude, drivers license wise, I'm getting mine in a couple weeks. I'm a dang good driver now. How's your parallel parking?
 

LearningSlowly

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About approaching in a mall, there's a game from simple pick up that does the trick. The Go game is simple. When one friend picks a girl and tells the other friend to go, they have to, or else they get on the ground and do push ups in the middle of the mall.

Apply for college. Doing that stuff on time makes your life better.
 

BookWorm

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I love low brass! Tried learning tuba but my band director refuses to give me lessons. I play in pretty much all the ensembles: Jazz Band, 2 Wind Ensembles (aka concert band), Marching Band, and 2 Drumlines. Of course I dont do it all at one time, I'm usually active in 2-3 ensembles at one time during the year.

I'm pretty much in the same place as you, trying to get out of the habit of being lazy.
 

RiceandChicken

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Well man, if you can, I think you should learn it. Its an awesome instrument. And as everyone should know tubas and percussion are the bada**es in the band. Try to find some cheap tuba off eBay and some cheap mouthpiece as well. You could probably find something under 1000 if your budget is tight.
 

BookWorm

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RiceAndChicken said:
Well man, if you can, I think you should learn it. Its an awesome instrument. And as everyone should know tubas and percussion are the bada**es in the band. Try to find some cheap tuba off eBay and some cheap mouthpiece as well. You could probably find something under 1000 if your budget is tight.
Hell yeah! We bring the BOOM! haha but I'm currently learning guitar and drumset. My money is real tight right now, so I'll probably take the chance to learn it later on in the year when I have those instruments under my belt and more money.
 

Milks

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RiceandChicken said:
Dude, I play Tuba. Low brass kicks a**!

Also, dude, drivers license wise, I'm getting mine in a couple weeks. I'm a dang good driver now. How's your parallel parking?
Ah man, my parallel parkings been pretty damn good. Sometimes I'll park a little too far from the curb but I just gotta practice a little more to get it perfect.

LearningSlowly said:
About approaching in a mall, there's a game from simple pick up that does the trick. The Go game is simple. When one friend picks a girl and tells the other friend to go, they have to, or else they get on the ground and do push ups in the middle of the mall.

Apply for college. Doing that stuff on time makes your life better.
Yeah I've seen that game before. Idk I think i'd be more embarassed about randomly doing push ups than just hitting on girls and failing. That might be a good thing though.

BookWorm said:
I'm pretty much in the same place as you, trying to get out of the habit of being lazy.
We'll get there man, just gotta keep working at it.
 

Milks

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1/8/14
Yesterday I spent the day working on the winter break homework I didn't do and I really ****ing regret it. I mean the work for AP Chem took like ****ing 10 mins, and I only got half credit for turning it in late. Man WTF, I really let my grades go this quarter. Last quarter I had straight A's except one B in Calc BC. This quarter so far I have 2 B's, a C, a D, and 3 A's. I really gotta step it back up next semester. I mean I have no reason to do this poorly, I only have a few more months of highschool and I'll never be doing this **** again.

Today was pretty fun I made slime in AP Chem and did pretty ****ing great on a calc exam I didn't study for. I really came a long way in Calc that reminds me. I used to have like the 2nd lowest grade in AB last year now Im 2nd highest this year. I'm proud of myself.

I went to the school office today to check fees I have to pay (wtf! I owe the school $300) but I saw a girl in my calc class i've always thought was cute. I wanted to get her number but was feeling a little nervousness, so i was kinda just talking with other people in the room. So after the counselor tells me I owe $300 I just go to her and ask "Aren't you in my Calculus class?". She's all like yep and then I take a seat next to her and pull up close to her and im just like "Hey, are you single?" (i didn't really think of anything smooth to say I was just focused on actually approaching her, there was her friend next to her too). And then she kinda just faces away from me and like laughs out of embarassment. The other girls in the room were kinda giggling at me too like a "I can't believe he just did that kinda thing" A younger me would've been embarassed at the laughter but I just didn't give a ****, it was almost motivating. So here I'm keeping like confident body language just staring at her dead on with a smirk on my face. And then she responds slowly and kind of reluctantly with a yep. She's still not looking at me kind just looking down. "Well my names Milk" as I extend my hand out for a handshake. She kinda faces away and giggles some more then faces back at me and like shakes my hand like a leper. "Can I get your number?" (shouldn't have asked that way) "I don't have a phone" (Theres a ****ing phone on the table in front of her) "Then what am I looking at?" Turns out it was her friend's phone and her friend also says she really doesnt have a phone but "when she gets one then you can have it" So I just stand up and walk away I think I was still smirking walking out. I've kinda had a little crush on her for a couple months so it felt really ****ing good approaching her. Im having class with her tomorrow I think ill try chatting her up tomorrow, she's really cute but don't know how to (assuming there'll be an escalation) get her on a date because I do want to continue this, I feel like im not done here just yet. Eh whatever, I'll just see what happens.

Come to think of it, that approach might've been kinda awkward if I was the one witnessing it but w/e.

Goal for the rest of the week: Write down at LEAST 1 scholarship essay.
 

Milks

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2/7/14
Man, I haven't updated this in a month. I gotta post more, I revert back to some bad habits when I don't. Like in the past couple weeks I started playing videogames for way too long again. I started jacking off more (I usually only do it like every 3 weeks or so when I get really horny)...

Last post, I talked about some girl I tried to get number from, HB Wendy. I said I'd try chatting her up the next day. I never did because she told me she had no cell phone and on that day I see her holding a phone and like texting or something. So I get a little pissed off at that but I kinda gave her the benefit of the doubt by telling myself it was just an Ipod and not a phone. Regardless I told myself I wouldn't try to pursue because I was pretty much rejected and wanted to "protect my heart". To be honest though, I think I was more afraid of ****ing things up or something. In the post, I said I had thought she was cute for awhile but that was pretty redundant, honestly, I pretty much had oneitis for her for like 3 months. So I would just go to class and see her everyday and every so often she'd creep back into my mind. Then it got progressively worse. I would discretely take glances at her during class. Then looked at her pics through facebook (didn't add her).

Like wtf, idk what's wrong me. Idk what I'm doing. I know I shouldn't do this **** but I still ****ing do it. I literally just went through her pics again 15 mins ago. A few days ago a guy in my class who's way more sociable than me was like hitting on her or something... and I got jealous. Man, I'm a mess right now. I haven't talked more than 2 mins with this girl and here I am ****ing fantasizing about her. I don't even know her man. I used to do this **** alot with past girls.... uhh... wtf Milk, you gotta stop this man. Idk, there's just a dry spell at my highschool. No hot girls. And when there's one she takes on more value than she should.

Everytime I think about her or look through her pic, I get a little irritated and it motivates me to go do something. But I know, I'm doing it for the wrong reasons: for the girl and not myself. I'm just trying to not make her my motivation for things right now. I really like this post by DarkDream :http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15995. It really hits home at what I've been doing lately.

On another note. I've already applied and been accepted to the college I want to go to. I still need to do some scholarships apps though.

I joined the track team and am doing long distance. Long distance works hard. My calves have been sore as **** the past two weeks but I still go to most of the practices. I always come in last though because of the pain (not that it's a competition). My muscles haven't really had enough time to heal as practices are on every weekday. There was one day where I literally was in so much pain after warm up (2 laps around the track) that my legs were shaking and I still had to run 2 more miles!

I still haven't gotten my driver's license. I've had soo much practice though. I actually just scheduled it. The only available saturday to do it was on March though. SO I still won't have it for another month which irritates me but I'm just being patient about it.

My confidence/assertiveness is also rising. I'm not being as much of a *****. In the past I could be a really needy, attention and approval-seeking, tool who tries to prove himself on stupid ****. Like i would get mad if I wasn't the center attention **** or not the most sociable guy or whatever. Really stupid stuff like that. Yeah those kinks in my personality are being ironed out. Sometimes I still do weird stuff like that though. like I'll smile and nod or laugh at something someone says even if I didn't think it was funny or I didn't hear them just because I wanted people to like me. Sometimes I won't tell someone I disagree about something because I don't want them to dislike me. I'll still do stuff like that from time to time. Even if they're friends I've known for a while. I hold up this facade. There aren't many that know the real me and who I've become really comfortable with.

Yeah like I said my confidence is rising. During lunchtime some people cut in like huge groups and everyone gets really pissed off but no one says anything. One time it happened to me but I pretty much told them that I don't ****ing care about them and that I wanted to get MY lunch. and Idk, some people like I barely knew were telling me they respected me for that. this sounds really pathetic and ****ing gay but you kinda had to be there.

Man I wrote alot. I talked more about myself personality and weakness wise ,which was kinda lacking in my other posts, so you guys can get the gist of who I am and help me iron out these flaws of mine. Alright im done rambling...

*Anyone reading should check out the song The Man by Aloe Blacc (the live version with horns). I love that song. I've been addicted to that song for about 2 months. It always gets me up when I'm feel down and gets me motivated when i feel lazy. The words are just so powerful and motivating to me and might be for you too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGcA9OQT3pk

"Played my cards and I didn't fold, well it ain't that hard when you got soul, this is my world"
"...I been through the worst but I still give my best, God made my mold different from the rest, then he broke that mold so I know I'm blessed"
"Stand up now and face the sun, won't hide my tail or turn and run, it's time to do what must be done, be a king when kingdom comes"
 

Milks

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3/2/14

Yesterday was my driver's test. I failed, **** sucks. I was so close, I made a few minor mistakes (not stopping behind the white line) and one major one (nearly exited out of an entrance) but it was enough to fail. The instructor was really cool with me, he basically said I drive like a professional, and that there's no problem with that but that since this was a test, I have to drive by the book. SO, I'm heading back there in two weeks. I'm learning from my mistakes and I'm gonna knock out of the park next time.

Been running in track still, I'm one of them slowest long distance runners. I just don't have nearly as much endurance as some of the other kids and am one of the only newbies. I'm not really meant for long distance, I'm much better at sprints. I have good burst power but can't keep it up for long. I enjoy distance, though, it's hard work, but I enjoy it. I used to get terrible shin splints but I think my legs are growing out of it. Monday I'm doing a timed mile.

I got the number of that girl I like, Wendy. Haven't texted her yet or anything, it's been a couple days now. It kinda sucks that I didn't get my driver's license because I was planning on asking her out this week and driving to wherever but It's not discouraging me or slowing me down. I have a friend whose more outgoing and athletic than me ask if I thought she was cute. Then I told him of how I tried to get her number. So he tells me he's gonna go hit on her and compare the results. The difference between me and him though is that I have more balls. So he ends up not doing it during class and just asking his close friends if he should do it or not. The bell rings, he still hasn't done it, and he runs to try to catch up to her and ends up not doing it at all. I decide that I should try for her number again (slightly motivated by jealousy) so when I see her in the halls I just strike conversation. Honestly though, I can feel that she's not really that into me IDK. Sometimes in class I would take glances at her, making it seem like I was looking at the clock lol, and occasionally when I look at her I notice she's been staring at me or in my direction and she immediately looks away. IDK maybe she knows I stare at her and thinks Im a creep. But yeah, if she's not into me maybe I can change her mind.

Convo:
Me: (shes walking towards and wait until I make eye contact) Hey what was your name again? (lol so fake)
Her: Wendy what was yours again? (she smiles)
Me: Milks, so uhhh... I never followed up with you... uhh... hey you going to take the AP calc test? (she says yea) You gonna go to the AP study thing on tuesday? (she says yea again) Alright well, I'm gonna head out, what's your number?
Her: Oh you still want it? (voice kinda gets quieter, def low IL) (I say yeah) Alright, I guess. It's XXX-XX58
Me: XX56? (making sure I wasn't getting a fake number) (she corrects me) alright see ya.

I mostly tried to keep a dominant, indifferent, confident body posture and projected my voice well. I don't think I looked nervous, besides saying uhhh. I wasn't really nervous at all. I didn't really change expression at all during the interaction, I might've seemed boring. I was just focused on having that dominant vibe.

I know I shouldn't get hung up on a single girl and should spin plates. There just aren't any hot girls at my school and I have no license yet to hit on girls at the mall. So hopefully, next time I can pass that test.
 
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Milks

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3/3/14

I talked to Wendy today after class. During class, my friend still didn't get her number, he tried though. He had a group of his friends try to help him; she was sitting alone and they all just moved to her table and started chatting. I'm usually really insecurely, irrationally, jealous but this time I didn't care, I was just doing my own thing.

Anyways, I'm horrible at conversation. Here's how that convo went:

Me: (She's kinda just walking and looking at her phone and I walk up behind her) Hey
Wendy: Hi (couple seconds of silence I don't really know what to talk about)
Me: So you going tomorrow to the Ap study thing?
Wendy: Yeah
Me: you goin in the morning?
Wendy: If I wake up early enough
Me: yeah, I'm going to the 9-11 one.
Wendy: I might go at 11:30
Me: (couple seconds of silence hmm what to talk about...) So I had a pretty disappointing weekend, I failed my driver's test
Wendy: Oh
Me: Yeah, I accidentally hit a curb and scratched the wheels of the car
Wendy: oh, I'm sorry
Me: (she's pretty bored and I've only been talking about boring a** s*** so far) You're a pretty quiet girl, you know?
Wendy: Yeah, I'm a just a quiet person
Me: I can tell you have a wild side tho, I have a good intuition about these things. You probably do crazy stuff on the weekends like sky dive. (she looks kinda entertained by this, she laughs)
Wendy: No, I just go to Chuck E. Cheese parties
Me: Oh yeah? You get lost in the ball pit? (idk...) ...So, what class do you have right now?
Wendy: I have Mr.Teacher
Me: I hear he's a ****ty teacher, you must get pretty bored in that class
Wendy: yeah, all we do is watch videos
Me: (get to my class) alright, cya

*What I noticed is that I kinda slur words when I'm nervous. For example instead of saying "9 to 11" I'll say it like "nine ta leven"

Sometimes, When people tell me stuff I just respond with "Yeah?" cause I don't really know what to say. I'm just really bad at talking. The day before I was planning on going up and talking to her the next time I saw her, and I was planning all these things to say. Like, "I'll say this and if she says x I'll respond with y and If I don't know what to say ill say that" but then I realized that this was the wrong way of going about this and that planned conversation never goes well and that I should just relax and talk to her like she's a friend. I just needed to keep in my head C&F, it's not what you say but how you say it, and some other stuff I learned on here but I just had nothing smooth or interesting to say when the time came. In that conversation, i did use one canned responses I've read on here. I keep a few in case I have no idea what to say. I still haven't texted her yet, I think I'll text her tomorrow and try to plan a date. Don't want to think about her too much.

Today in track we had to run a mile, I had a time of 8:08. I was trying to get under 7 mins. I'm pretty slow. My legs just get really tired quickly. I need to lose some more weight by going on a diet. All this fat certainly isn't helping me get faster. Ever since I joined track I feel like I gained more body fat, that my body broke down muscle for energy. I have a lot of belly fat. I need to lose it soo....

Long term goal: Lose fat by going on a 500 caloric deficit everyday (gotta do some research like how many calories I eat daily and stuff, i'll figure things out and plan this out more thoroughly later or tomorrow)

Goals for the rest of the week: Clean backpack and room, practice drawing for atleast 3 accumulated hours, try to schedule a date with Wendy
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
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Be more serious about your weight loss. You might as well go all out on it.

Start with a 700 calorie deficit and move into a 500 within a few weeks.

Eat clean. Greens. Lots of greens. Buy greens yourself. Eat greens. Health.

Drop unhealthy. Fried is not your friend. Neither is fast food. Avoid processed. Heavy metals.

And you might as well hit the gym, or go for a run or three. Diet gives you thin, but being athletic gives you fitness and a fit look.

Tie it all together with consistency. These are all suggestions for the best and fastest result, but a good result is better than none. Do whatever allows you to be consistent.
 

Milks

Don Juan
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I'm back. I got off track but I'm ready to go again.

Since I've been away I graduated from highschool and got my driver's license. Still can't drive solo though, I don't have insurance. So, I gotta get a job, not only to pay for insurance, but to help pay for college. I want to get a job on campus cause the hours are more flexible with my class schedule. College starts in a month. Cool thing is, my tuition includes a free gym membership, and the gym on campus is pretty awesome, 5 floors. I'm gonna try to get buff again. I've also been doing the 6 week bible reading. I'm on week 3 now. Most of the stuff really isn't new anymore -a sign that I should distance myself from all this DJ study and actually start getting out in the field.

Goals:
1. Get buff
2. Get a job

How?

1. a. Start calorie counting. I'm gonna start using myfitnesspal to record. Goal is to gain a pound a week, so eat 500 calories more each day (total=2957 calories/day). I'm 5'7" at 127 pounds right now, real scrawny, trying to get big.
1. b. Alternate between periods of cutting and bulking with 2 weeks of a stabilization period between. I used calculators to estimate my bodyfat% using measurements (says I'm 8-12% fat) but they're not that reliable, I feel like I'm more around 20%. After a lot of reading, it was suggested to be at about 10% bodyfat before bulking for maximum gains, and if not to cut down. So, I'm putting some faith into the accuracy of the bodyfat results and gonna bulk first.
1. c. Eat healthy. I've completely cut out soda out of my diet which is great. I just gotta keep away from fast food and sweets. For the past two weeks I've been eating clean.
1. d. Get a kitchen scale and maybe other measuring tools. I'm kind of confused on how to count calories atleast accurately. The only way I see of doing it is to get a scale. Especially with homemade meals I just don't get how to count that. Like today, I ate soup my mom made which had like ochra, eggplant, and tons of other greens. No idea how many calories without any measuring tools. Idk, maybe I'm over complicating it. What I do know is that I need to get 1 gram of protein/pound when bulking (1.5 when cutting).
1. e. Get a lifting routine I tried two beginner routines before. One of them was stronglifts 5x5 program. The other one was based off the same thing (compound exercises) and alternated two workouts. Gonna lift 3x a week. Probably gonna do stronglifts again and just do that until i start seeing diminishing returns then move onto something more complex. My wrists sometimes hurt when lifting gotta find a solution for that. Gonna start at a really low weight and work on perfect form first. Then I'm gonna try to go up by 5 lbs of weight each week.
1. f. Learn how to cook. so I can control what I eat. Plan on just watching some youtube videos.

2. a. Look for job openings on campus via school website. I made an account on my school website so I can look for openings. But I'm being registered and synced with my file so it'll take like a day or two before I can actually go searching.
2. b. Make a good resume. I've been reading a lot about how to get jobs and making resumes and stuff. Never had any prior job experience. Probably been more reading than I have been doing.

Notes:
1. I won't start going to the gym until school starts. For the next 3 weeks I'm gonna use my shytty bench press at home. It's small so it's hard to do a bench press properly. It's probably why I get wrist pain, because when I rack it, it's done awkwardly. The total weights I have at home is 70lbs but shouldn't be a problem for the next 3 weeks.
2. If I do land a job. I'm gonna do a 90/10 ratio. Bank 90%, spend 10% on whatever I want -videogames, food, clothes, whatever.
 
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