Man Sends Wife Excel Spreadsheet of All Her Sexual Rejections

Not sure who's the bigger knob in this situation, but it's entertaining nonetheless:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/robynwilder/a-man-emailed-his-wife-a-spreadsheet-that-logged-all-the-the

My $0.02 - this dude either can't f*ck very well, or his wife is banging someone else, or she just has a low libido. Either way you slice it, the close ratio here is unacceptable for a healthy relationship.

I just saw this. I have to stand in favor of the guy on this (not for the obvious reasons of this being SoSuave mind you) but even if what you say is true and let's suppose he's terrible in bed, at least he is making an effort. If the woman would put even a minimal amount of effort into it on her part, say helping him to perform better, then great, problem solved.

But no, instead she reacts by calling him bitter and immature and a hater. He needs to ditch this b!tch and find a better woman immediately. The husband doesn't have a right to cut off comms? How do we know he didn't try to bring this up before? We just accept the word of some news site? Yeah I've never seen a news article slanted toward women before...

The original reddit thread is of much better use and clarification.

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2b1f5a/my_husband_m26_sent_me_f26_an_immature/

BetterCallSaul said:

I just saw this. I have to stand in favor of the guy on this (not for the obvious reasons of this being SoSuave mind you) but even if what you say is true and let's suppose he's terrible in bed, at least he is making an effort. If the woman would put even a minimal amount of effort into it on her part, say helping him to perform better, then great, problem solved.

But no, instead she reacts by calling him bitter and immature and a hater. He needs to ditch this b!tch and find a better woman immediately. The husband doesn't have a right to cut off comms? How do we know he didn't try to bring this up before? We just accept the word of some news site? Yeah I've never seen a news article slanted toward women before...

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Agreed. I favor the guy and think this was pretty clever, and not below something I might do if I had the same problem.

Regarding her reaction.. Recall what I have said in a couple other recent posts on SS; a man will always loose an argument with a woman because women dont use any standards to make sure that what they say is fact and truth.

If I sent a woman this and she said something like "I didn't realize I was saying no that often, I apologize and will try to do better" then I would prolly give her another chance. But after this excuse, forget it, NEXT... :wave:

If your wife is unreasonably refusing sex. You should be able to divorce her free of charge, with the exception of the cost to file at the court house. She gets nothing.

Danger said:

This is another great example of WHY men need to drop women who don't meet their expectations or boundaries.

Honestly, if being married doesn't guarantee you sex, why bother since it is such a one-sided agreement against men?

As another interesting note: She only says yes about every 17 days. That is ridiculous.

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Exactly, if for women is not mandatory to give sex in marriage then it should be allowed for men not to give resourches, either time and money.

Right now its more like a purchase where the buyer has to pay but the seller can keep his merchandise.

Mauser96 said:

A woman's power lies in the giving or denying of sex. Every woman on the planet knows this.

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...but that's if the man gives her this power. The husband in this situation obviously gave it to her, and has put sex at such a high priority that he needed to make a spreadsheet about it.

Taking the power away from a woman is much more difficult than keeping it from her in the first place. Although the spreadsheet clearly identifies a problem in the marriage, sending it to her isn't going to fix it. She's not going to logically look at the numbers and say "Oh my, we haven't been having sex very much. I need to fix this or my marriage is doomed!" Instead, she's going to have an emotional reaction (which she did) and call him immature.

If he didn't give a fvck about screwing his wife, she would be begging for his c0ck because he would hold the power of sex.

i saw that thread live. I actually posted in that response.

First of all she did not call him bitter or anything lie that. she said that was very uncharacteristic of him and was surprised by his behavior.


she was more surprised than anything. she wasn't pissed or mad.


Reading her threads and her responses, I don't thin she honestly was maliciously doing anything wrong. She didn't understand just how important sex was to men, and she didn't understand that we don't give a damn if the house is not clean if we aren't getting sex.


I Mean, this is one of those married / LTR things You have to be in one to get it. As a married guy, I have to mae a conscious effort to make love with my wife. It's not as big of a deal to her because she doesn't work. But even so with ou son and on like days when she's out all day with him she comes home and she's like forget it lol. I want a tub and a movie right now lol. Not that i don't thin she's a smoke show, I do. But ****, I'm tired lol. it's 8:45 right now and i'm still working. Been working since 9am. There will be no sex in my house tonight. NO way possible.

But at least 2 days a week I make sure that all my stuff is done by 5-6pm so I can do the wifey thing. It's about balance. That's what the girl in the post did not understand.

Heres my post from another thread as I wasnt aware this one existed.

This dude has a poor sex life with his wife, and though we dont know his side of the story, Im highly certain hes brought it up with her before. I dont think an excel file was his first time bringing it up with her. He sends her a spreadsheet to highlight the frequency in which they have sex, and she posts it to reddit.

Of course what follows is to be expected. Most of the women find a way to blame the man, and the men back up the husband. Many of the women are giving the guy flack for daring to even document their sex life. But lets be real...we all know its not uncommon for a husband or wife who is unhappy with their sex life to have their concerns brushed aside when they bring it up. Ive read and heard many stories of an unsatisfied husband or wife bringing this stuff up, and nothing changing. Plus I really get the feeling that the women commenting on the story wouldnt have a problem with the spreadsheet if it was an unsatisfied wife who created it.

I for one feel that marriages are about continuing support of one another emotionally, mentally, and physically. The marriage will suffer if all of these needs arent met. Yet somehow, whenever a man has problems with a lack of sex, many women on those discussion-type sites will find a way to blame that guy. I never see the same treatment when a wife is dealing with a husband who barely wants sex.

Given the amount of threads on the internet, highlighting the horrible sex lives some marriages have (months without sex, twice a year even) its a wonder to me that people still find ways to fault a spouse for daring to crave intimacy from their partner. I get sick of reading or hearing "marriage isnt just about sex". Well jee golly....youll never hear "marriage isnt just about emotional support" or "marriage isnt just about mental connection".

Somehow sexual intimacy, in many peoples minds, is given less importance as something to keep a relationship solid. Ive said it before and Ill say it again...a lack of physical intimacy is a reason to divorce. Same goes for a lack of emotional support, or a lack of mental connection. If you just dont click with your partner, sometimes it cant be fixed and you both have to find someone better for you.

I just get so sick and tired of seeing men (and women) shamed for wanting to feel desired and close to their partner. I actually have a female friend whos likely to go back out into the dating world, because the guy shes currently seeing doesnt make an effort to have sex with her much anymore. And she has broached the subject with him. Sometimes you just have to move on when things arent working.

http://www.reddit.com/r/deadbedrooms

Wow, just found this from the reddit thread about the spreadsheet. Its a damn shame there are so many people (mainly men) suffering through sexless relationships.

Makes me really believe all relationships have expiration dates. Very long relationships and marriages dont seem worth the depression these people deal with. Constant rejection must hurt like hell.

Jaylan said:

Wow, just found this from the reddit thread about the spreadsheet. Its a damn shame there are so many people (mainly men) suffering through sexless relationships.

Makes me really believe all relationships have expiration dates. Very long relationships and marriages dont seem worth the depression these people deal with. Constant rejection must hurt like hell.

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Especially since a lot of guys get into long term relationships and eventually marriage to have a sexual partner. I've made a bet that at least 2 of my friends will get married in the next couple of years because they have found a half decent girl and have no other options.

Sad part about this is that it is something I went through a long time ago.
I wouldn't say I made a spreadsheet, but I had mental notes. Basically my average with the woman was 1 time a month, maybe 2. She always had an excuse and I confronted her about it at some point. When I did, she said I was pressuring her into having sex and that wasn't going to help her either.

One night she told me she felt gross and needed to shower.
Another night she told me she had just showered.

So no matter what, I was screwed.

I never rationalized the fact that it was because she simply didn't desire me at the time. Whether it was because of my weight at the time, or her comfort level or just her realizing she didn't need to anymore because she had me... it wasn't until I started breaking away from her that she started wanting to again. It became a HORRENDOUS cycle. I'd have to threaten leaving her in order to spark her interest for a week or two.

I've seen that deadbedrooms' page. It's a shocking portrayal of the things people go through in a marriage/LTR. I've seen people post about what they should do because their fiancee won't put out anymore. They're not even married!

Sometimes people are so blinded by "love" that they figure they can do things to make it better, but most of the times, those are band-aids on an open shotgun wound. With the guys, it always saddens me because women will often use the excuse, "I didn't know sex was that important to him."

Seriously? They DO know. They absolutely know.

And although I don't have 100% specifics as to what happened in that relationship, I can tell you that Excel spreadsheet was the last step before he went on to cheat with someone else. Imagine HOW LONG he had to have been frustrated that he decided the spreadsheet was the next course of action.

Cautionary tale for all the men out there. And women.

This is why I don't want to get married nor have kids ever. I like my life just the way it is right now.

Desdinova said:

...but that's if the man gives her this power. The husband in this situation obviously gave it to her, and has put sex at such a high priority that he needed to make a spreadsheet about it.

Taking the power away from a woman is much more difficult than keeping it from her in the first place. Although the spreadsheet clearly identifies a problem in the marriage, sending it to her isn't going to fix it. She's not going to logically look at the numbers and say "Oh my, we haven't been having sex very much. I need to fix this or my marriage is doomed!" Instead, she's going to have an emotional reaction (which she did) and call him immature.

If he didn't give a fvck about screwing his wife, she would be begging for his c0ck because he would hold the power of sex.

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Exactly. It's not that hard to do either. All you have to do is not make her, or sex the top priority. Have other sh!t thats important. In my past relationships whenever I was focused on somthing else such as work, hobbies, or even as crazy as this sounds when my priority was getting high or drunk... well hey anything that takes her off the number one spot.

You still have to give out some attention and affection at times.

But being indifferent 60% the time really gets them behaving well.

In my last one. Many times I litterally was very focused on my job I had at the time, and when I got home I was exhausted.

I would come home, the apartment was cleaned, bed made, like a professional did it. Also the meal was timed to be ready and cooled to eat by the time I walked in the door.

I get it, it can suck only having one pvssy to fvck, but just you just understand to not place high value on it, it will be there anytime you want, which should make it easier to place low value on it. Like a cycle.

oops

I've been in a sexless relationship. Mine was much worse than this. He should just plow through her excuses. If she says she's sick he should just say that's ok now suck my ****. If she says she just got home from the gym he should say that's ok your real work out starts here. Most likely a woman like this is just going to get worse no matter what he does. He needs to leave her. Never again will I be with a girl who withholds sex for any period of time because she just isn't feeling it.

He didn't go far enough. After the last day of the spreadsheet, he should have stopped asking for sex and just wait until she initiates it herself. Then there would be a much sharper picture of the situation. What it looks like right now is a frigid woman who from time to time, spreads her legs and lets the man do his business. As far as I know sex is equally enjoyable for both men and women.

hudpes said:

He didn't go far enough. After the last day of the spreadsheet, he should have stopped asking for sex and just wait until she initiates it herself. Then there would be a much sharper picture of the situation. What it looks like right now is a frigid woman who from time to time, spreads her legs and lets the man do his business. As far as I know sex is equally enjoyable for both men and women.

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She is probably getting it elsewhere.

Time for Lefty's Scratch and Sniff Test

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=217034&highlight=bacterial

I was in a sexless relationship as well. I got all the excuses.

“I feel gross”
“I’m tired”
“I’m too full”

I remember reaching over to her to initiate it on a couple of occasions and her turning around and giving me a dirty look.

The only time she would give in is maybe after a expensive dinner or if some girl flirted with me in front of her. Then, it became a way to pull me back in. Like throwing a dog a few table scraps to keep them interested.

Think about what is given to the guy to entice him to be her boyfriend. Sex.

Think about what isn’t given to the guy when she doesn’t like him. Sex.

Women turn it on and off to get what they want.

Sex is the thing that men respond to. Women respond to emotions.

Want her attention? The best way to get it is not to bang another woman, it’s to text another woman or give another woman your verbal attention. My girlfriend even told me that me physically cheating on her wouldn’t hurt as much as me emotionally connecting with someone else.

Danger said:

When I know a girl is interested in me and we are not yet dating or fvking, I will make sure to state in regular conversation that if I don't get sex from the girl I am dating, I will just go out and find it elsewhere.

It never stops the girl from continuing to chase me, and delivers the message needed without articulating it directly to her.

The result? Never denied sex.

And if any had denied it, including my current gf? I would just get dressed and head out to the bar. She would know exactly what I was doing.

Too many men think they have to go without sex. If she doesn't give it to you, go get it somewhere else.

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This.

Go out and FVCK. Remember what I posted earlier. They are more likely to forgive you and want to stay with you if it turns out that what you did was only physical with another girl.

If you are not banging your wife or girlfriend, LEAVE.

http://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/2b4qfi/she_ll_24_f_refuse_sex_hl_25_m_but_constantly/

http://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/2bbp14/boring_sex_just_isnt_worth_it_anymore_should_i/

The second story is especially terrible. Men, NEVER be afraid to leave. And this next thread right here...

http://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/2b3bk9/hl_female_with_ll_male_so_both_20somethings/

Jeez...when guys do this complacent crap too, I have to shake my head. I dont understand some of these threads with men forcing a woman into a sexless life. Take the damn pills and swallow your pride homie. Its not like women wont cheat any less than men.