Hello SoSuave. Despite the fact I have been a member of this board for 2 years I am an infrequent user, but it is the only online community forum I am a part of. This is not a game post, but I need help.
On October 14th (just 5 days ago), my father passed away of a heart attack on his 56th birthday. I have studied in depth the 5 stages of grieving from the 1969 book "On Death and Dying" and believe it to be a very real hypothesis. The night I learned of his death I fell to my knees in disbelief, frantic and wanting to wake up from some terrible nightmare.
Since day 2 I have been lapsing between Anger, Bargaining and Depression, with extreme depression kicking in just today. We just finished the wake and funeral services yesterday and I had an excellent support system. Large family dinners, a late night out with friends, a supportive woman, and much reassurance from all outsiders that my father was proud of me. Even tried to get back to the rec league sport I play, but left the arena in 20 minutes.
Unfortunately, my father was a troubled man in the last quarter of his life. The passing of his mother as a teenager and his divorce from my mother left him a heavy smoker and drinker, which made him an easy target for heart disease since it ran in his family. At the age of 56, I feel he was robbed of 20 years (I'm only 25). There was so much unfinished business and I was finally helping him to get his life back together (had recently moved back to his neighborhood 1 year ago).
I lost my grandmother in 2012 and that was hard, but this is a whole other level. She was 77, raised 6 grandchildren, and got to enjoy retirement. There was no tragedy. My dad's story has left me broken up inside and feeling apathy toward money, dating, careers, and women. My father worked for the same company for 40 years only to see it downsizing, never saw his pension for a day, and had the two women he ever loved leave him one way or another.
Now that the services are over and the entire family has gone home, I am here facing the music alone now. And this is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. My already tentative and uncertain faith has been shaken to its core.
Anyone?
On October 14th (just 5 days ago), my father passed away of a heart attack on his 56th birthday. I have studied in depth the 5 stages of grieving from the 1969 book "On Death and Dying" and believe it to be a very real hypothesis. The night I learned of his death I fell to my knees in disbelief, frantic and wanting to wake up from some terrible nightmare.
Since day 2 I have been lapsing between Anger, Bargaining and Depression, with extreme depression kicking in just today. We just finished the wake and funeral services yesterday and I had an excellent support system. Large family dinners, a late night out with friends, a supportive woman, and much reassurance from all outsiders that my father was proud of me. Even tried to get back to the rec league sport I play, but left the arena in 20 minutes.
Unfortunately, my father was a troubled man in the last quarter of his life. The passing of his mother as a teenager and his divorce from my mother left him a heavy smoker and drinker, which made him an easy target for heart disease since it ran in his family. At the age of 56, I feel he was robbed of 20 years (I'm only 25). There was so much unfinished business and I was finally helping him to get his life back together (had recently moved back to his neighborhood 1 year ago).
I lost my grandmother in 2012 and that was hard, but this is a whole other level. She was 77, raised 6 grandchildren, and got to enjoy retirement. There was no tragedy. My dad's story has left me broken up inside and feeling apathy toward money, dating, careers, and women. My father worked for the same company for 40 years only to see it downsizing, never saw his pension for a day, and had the two women he ever loved leave him one way or another.
Now that the services are over and the entire family has gone home, I am here facing the music alone now. And this is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. My already tentative and uncertain faith has been shaken to its core.
Anyone?
