I've been married for 9, almost 10 years. I think a lot of the advice given here is great for handling $hit tests women throw out, but like backbreaker, sometimes it doesn't seem conducive to forming longer term relationships that can lead to marriage.
Yes, divorce in this country royally f*cks men over. But let's try to focus on the positives here for once ok?
I will say just a couple of things that I consider important. Women never stop s#it testing you. My wife, even though we're married and she doesn't do it as much, still, she does do it on occasion. When I was younger, I was more beta, but I've gotten older and taken charge more of situations for our family. Essentially stepping up to be the true head of the household like any man should do. The key to making this succeed is determining if your woman truly believes in this feminist crap that is spewed in the media every day, or if she believes the same way you do and wants a man to lead. I now know for certain my woman wants me to lead even in spite of the fact she still sometimes tests me. Let me give you a couple of actual examples since I never really provide field reports here for SS....
The first one off the top of my head is getting back into motorcycle riding. I've been away for a long time, used to ride a lot when I was younger but life and a career take priority so that got dropped by the wayside. I told her I wanted to start riding again. She had a freaking fit when I told her. I asked what the problem was, she replied she knew a guy in school who got killed riding. Ok, that's fine, I asked if she'd ever ridden one. She said no. Fast forward a few months to the present and I'm getting a bike. Honestly, and you guys here are probably the only ones I'll admit this to, I did not care one bit what her feelings on the matter were, I was getting one whether she liked it or not. I've got my gear now, I need to take the class to get the endorsement on my license, then I'll buy the bike I want.
I fully realize that it's more dangerous to ride a bike, and it does scare me a little since I've been away for so long and wonder if I can adapt to riding in traffic. I don't know...but I'm not admitting that stuff to her nor am I sharing my fears about this. I am conquering my fears and sticking with my plan and I WILL have fun in this whole process. I do know that one universal truth I have come across in my life is riding on motorcycles gets women wet, and I will get my wife on mine.
Another example is getting my wife to exercise. One of her problems is she is inherently messy. Just junk around the house, stuff like that. Procrastination is probably a good word to sum it all up. Well for a good year or two I was just completely upfront and direct in telling her that she needed to work on a couple of problem areas. Sometimes she'd make an effort, other times not, but on the times she did put in effort, it would fizzle out after a couple of weeks or so....every single time without fail. Last summer I decided to take a different approach and not do or say anything about it anymore. Instead I started lifting weights. I usually went jogging on occasion, but figured trying to bulk up just a bit would be better. One day out of the blue with no prior warning she comes up and tells me she's going out for a run. I said 'ok', and off she went. While I continued lifting on a regular basis, still not saying anything, she proceeded to go out jogging.
As for kids, it wasn't until I became a father and with the two of us working trying to figure out how to deal with daycare, school and things like that I realized just how good I had it when I was a kid growing up. It's damn hard to provide for kids at times but my goal is to try and make it as good for them as what I had because a lot of times I feel like I'm not doing very well. But I knew I wanted kids one day. It's pretty basic in that regard if you find a women who also wants them or doesn't, you just have to talk about it. If you both do, great, hopefully she isn't [too] crazy.
