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Self-Improvement Thread - Changing My Life!

GetBetter

Don Juan
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I am writing this for myself.

The old journal of mine seems kind of just blabber and not real commitments.
________________________________________________________________

Commitments:


1. I am going to change my life!
2. I am going to be a beast, and THE BEST!

3. I am going to be HAPPY
I am going to be FUN to be with.
I am going to be OPTIMISTIC!
I am going to be ADVENTUROUS!
I am going to be SEXY!
I am going TO BE AWESOME!!!!

_________________________________________________________________

Things I want from my life:

1. Happiness:

Problems:
  • Lack of Adventure
  • Monotonous Life
  • Passion

Cure:
i. Adventure: I consider Dangerous Tasks as adventure. Playing games and sports are adventure as well, to me.​
Get Out and Spend an hour to do something new and risky!

ii. Monotonous Life:​
Get out and Do something!

iii. Passion:​
  • Where I want to stand in my life
  • I want to be a multi-millionaire without any problems in my life and being a great personality
  • What I dream myself as
  • I dream of myself standing in a dashing tuxedo on a cliff, where wind is blowing and brushing my hairs. I see myself as a great personality, a person who looks alpha, and who looks as if he has hold onto something, owns something. People feel power in him.
  • How I see myself as when I peep into future
  • I see myself in a great luxurious car, in a great three piece suit. Being treated and being an aristrocrat


All in all, I want to be a big, successful businessman with a charming vibrant personality of an alpha male. Who holds power.

Successful Businessman:​

  • [*]Create and think of Business Ideas/Plans
    [*]Work on them
    [*]Achieve them by working hard!
Alpha Look and Personality:
  • Develop great physique - Work out at Home
  • Be Bold - Express Myself
  • Be Carefree
  • Care for no one except yourself and your parents!
  • Read about looks and clothing every Sunday
  • Act like an Aristrocrat, read about them and be one!
  • Develop Manners - Read about Manners
_________________________________
2. Fun to be With:

Problems:
  • Nothing new or interesting to share
  • I dont express myself fully
  • Do not have much knowledge on anything to share; Bad GK.

Cure:

  • Get Out and Do something new Daily!
  • Express Yourself
  • Be Bold
  • Fight for Yourself!
  • Read Newspapers Daily
_________________________________
3. Optimistic:

Problems:
  • Negativity - I think way too much, I think
  • Thinking Too much
  • People who make fun

Cure:
  • Do not think too much!
  • Do not listen to anyone who makes me feel bad
  • Fight for Yourself
_________________________________
4. Adventurous


Cure: Get out and Do something new!
_________________________________
5. Sexy and Ladykiller:

Problems:
  • Baldness
  • Lack of Experience with Girls
  • No kiss, No Girlfriends and NO FLIRTing

Cure:
1. Better Clothing:
  • Go for Shopping
  • Get Accessories - Shoes, Hats, Caps, Belts, Wallets, Sunglasses and Socks
  • Buy Suits, Blazers, Boots

2. Better Skin and Hair:
  • Regular Haircut from Stylist
  • Fashion Tips
  • Washing Face twice daily(already do), scrubbing twice a week.

3. Experience:
  • Flirting - As much as possible
  • Cold Approaching - Twice a Week atleast
  • Get Girlfriend(s)
  • Get More Social

4. Carry Myself Better:
  • Better Personality
  • More muscles
  • Better Communication
  • Bold, Charm and Confidence
  • Acting like a King
_________________________________
6. BEING AWESOME
Train old qualities and talents and pursue new ones. Reach my potential!

Old Qualities
  • Football/Volley-Ball - Buy a Football and get into school team
  • Karate/WUSHU - Join a class
  • Debate - Search for topics, prepare at home and participate.
  • Dance - See good videos and practice moves at home


New Ones:
  • Command on Language - Read and Write Novels
  • Modelling - Better looks, clothing then find photographer and agencies
________________________________________________________________

MY NEW LIFE... Starts today!

I'll revise this everyday in the morning and apply as many things as I can daily!

So lets edit and revise what I said at the start:


1. I am changing my life!
2. I am becoming a beast, and THE BEST!

3. I am becoming HAPPY
I am becoming FUN to be with.
I am becoming OPTIMISTIC!
I am becoming ADVENTUROUS!
I am becoming SEXY!
I am BECOMING AWESOME!!!!
 

NorwegianDJ

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I like this and I will be following this. Down the road, I'll give more pointers on certain things here that I feel are superfluous, but dont worry about that now.

For now, I'd add meditation, nutrition, and reading to that list. I dont care if you set of time to motivate yourself regarding those subjects, to read about them, or to apply them. Just set off time for them; they are crucial and extremely interesting!
 

GetBetter

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Day 1 : 28/8/13

1. Adventure - I got out with friends. It was not so much fun but it was. I really wanted to try something new though - made up my mind to Cold Approach a good looking girl but ****! I could not find any girl... India is really low on girl ratio..

2. Passion - Made up my mind firmly on completing my Video Game! After exams I am gonna complete it anyhow. Also completed some mapping for it

3. Fun - Read Article which says to be fun:
Be Active - Keep Doing something
Do not Listen to Anyone
Just Do it!
Believe that you are fun!
Smile and Laugh
Change your life!​

4.Optimistic - Kept affirming myself. Kept telling me that this will happen, this can be done etc.

5. Sexy and Ladykiller - Trying to dress as good as possible. Kept telling myself that I am Happy, Fun, Sexy, King and ****ing awesome! This put a natural smile on my face and filled me with great pride.

Will go to hairstylist again this Sunday.
--------------------------
About Fashion Tips, I'd like help from someone who has great taste of Fashion. I can share my photos etc with them?
---------------------------
One weird thing though, when I do not fap for few days and feel ****ing awesome, I sweat a lot.

Experience - I am going to hit on a girl at my coaching class. Let's see how it goes! Time to be BOLD!

6. Being Awesome - Practiced the steps I've learnt for dance competition in school. Dance as if I didnt know dance i.e. dance weirdly on songs and really enjoyed
--------------------
Need help with Bad Breaths. What to do? :(
________________________________________________________________
Even after all these activities.. There was only few moments when I felt really good... I have no idea what the problem is..

Maybe I am just missing some romance in life?
 

NorwegianDJ

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Just chiming in here again to mention that you should focus more on intrinsic improvement. Echoing the reading, meditation, and even nofap.

Think of it like this. Improvement in style is great, there's a great subreddit you should search for regarding that. However, the style isn't going to replace your character or give you more grounded confidence.

Affirmations are very ineffective. If you want to know how to affect your values and beliefs, then READ. Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins teaches you a lot about this.

Being funny is a lot about presence and life experience and confidence.

Personally, I think you should condense your news reading to once a week, and spend the newspaper reading time on something more productive.

Nofap helps with skin btw. So does nutrition, working out, and cold showers.

Remember, no matter how much I might tell you to do different (I really think you should add it!!), the most important thing is consistency. Just keep on setting goals and achieving them.
 

ediceneet12

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NorwegianDJ said:
Just chiming in here again to mention that you should focus more on intrinsic improvement. Echoing the reading, meditation, and even nofap.

Think of it like this. Improvement in style is great, there's a great subreddit you should search for regarding that. However, the style isn't going to replace your character or give you more grounded confidence.

Affirmations are very ineffective. If you want to know how to affect your values and beliefs, then READ. Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins teaches you a lot about this.

Being funny is a lot about presence and life experience and confidence.

Personally, I think you should condense your news reading to once a week, and spend the newspaper reading time on something more productive.

Nofap helps with skin btw. So does nutrition, working out, and cold showers.

Remember, no matter how much I might tell you to do different (I really think you should add it!!), the most important thing is consistency. Just keep on setting goals and achieving them.
NorwegianDJ do you do nofap aswell? I've been going for about 37 days now. If I could also chime in aswell for Aastikya's sake you should take NorwegianDJ's advice on the cold showers, working and nofap advice i've added all of those into my life and have noticed a huge increase in my happiness/confidence.

On the subject of nofap watch the youtube video on this page it's extremely interesting. It's from a well known psychologist talking about how boys are struggling when it comes to graduation rates and even why more guys are age see relationships with girls as something completely foreign to them. http://www.demiseofguys.com/
 

NorwegianDJ

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ediceneet12 said:
NorwegianDJ do you do nofap aswell? I've been going for about 37 days now. If I could also chime in aswell for Aastikya's sake you should take NorwegianDJ's advice on the cold showers, working and nofap advice i've added all of those into my life and have noticed a huge increase in my happiness/confidence.

On the subject of nofap watch the youtube video on this page it's extremely interesting. It's from a well known psychologist talking about how boys are struggling when it comes to graduation rates and even why more guys are age see relationships with girls as something completely foreign to them. http://www.demiseofguys.com/
Strongly attempting. It's a lot easier when you have a lot of dedication to improvement in general and when youre at uni. www.reddit.com/r/nofap is a great community too.

Keep it up Aastikya!
 

DivinityCove

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I've been thinking of giving nofap a try aswell i've heard alot of good things about it
 

AlexLefty

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Aastikya said:
I am going to be FUN to be with.
I am going to be OPTIMISTIC!
I am going to be ADVENTUROUS!
I am going to be SEXY!
I am going TO BE AWESOME!!!![/B]
Haha I like how these are all pretty much the same.

Good start, also as ndj said above try to focus on bettering yourself internally. Overall I think you're trying to build your identity, and starting from the inside out is the best way to do that.

I also know some good organization tips to keep you on track, pm me if interested
 

GetBetter

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I'll just summarize everything that happened and I did in past few days:

Going out daily just to seek something new but can't do anything new. Getting out with friends might me one of the reason. So conclusion: Self Improvement can happen only when you are alone, spending time on yourself - Spend Time Alone

Day before yesterday, after school I got really upset because I couldn't do some dance steps properly... And then all day I kept thinking "What am I really good at... I am neither good at those skills that I was good at before nor I am good at anything I am doing now in my life... Do I just exist?"

And I then set up my mind to dance with full concentration, energy and enthusiasm. That helped me yesterday and I did dance very well and was happy with it. I even taught a steps or two(funny ones as we are doing funny dance) to our group.

Got an internet connection at my new home and got a new haircut! Pretty happy due to those.

I keep reminding myself again and again about:

Be Bold
Be Active
I am Happy
I am Fun
I am Optimistic
I am Adventurous
I am Sexy!
I am Awesome!

Makes me feel better.

About No-Fap: I am getting urge again which I am trying to resist. My mind keep telling me, yes do it because You arent getting girls and you are not going to get one as this part of city has no pretty girls...

On the other hand it says, you are developing and feeling leadership skills, letting yourself out, let's not do it and see the things you thought you lost.

Studies... I dont feel like studying D: but I have to do it as this the most important year of my school, it'll mend me or break me.. However I am not realizing it, it's just like I have to tell it to myself to make myself study.

I wish I had more time.. my school and coaching sucks most of my time. I have to make a girlfriend, I am like desperate to have a kiss atleast :|

So let's revise my mantra again!

1. I am changing my life!
2. I am becoming a beast, and THE BEST!

3.I am becoming HAPPY
I am becoming FUN to be with.
I am becoming OPTIMISTIC!
I am becoming ADVENTUROUS!
I am becoming SEXY!
I am BECOMING AWESOME!!!!

______________________________________________________________

@NorweignDJ: I am not sure what you mean by Intrinsic Improvement, like what type? Would you mind providing me examples? Also instead of nutrition, I am thinking to add 7 hours of sleep, at least as I've come to realize that proper sleep plays one of the most important roles in what I am trying to achieve.

Also is this the subreddit you wanted to tell me about? http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/01/07/reddit-for-men/

If so, I don't like it to be honest...

I'll download the book you've suggested me.

@AlexLefty I'd say they are inter-related instead of being the same. And yeah I'd love those tips. Anything that can help me get better and motivate me to continue would be accepted without a second thought.
 

NorwegianDJ

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r/nofap and /malefashionadvice, yes.

Basically, all you are doing, apart from your personality efforts and affirmations, are improving things that are non-permanent.

Intrinsic improvements are things that affect your character. Basically, how you feel and act on a subconcious and unconcious level. Therefore, intrinsic improvements are vital and are the ones that will stick with you regardless of what you have and how much you lose.

Affirmations are a weak form of intrinsic improvement and I wouldnt use them. They have no hold in reality and you cant fool your brain like that.

And your conclusion is faulty. Self improvement may happen when youre around people. You cannot overcome social anxieties without interacting with people. You learn a lot from people too.

You shouldn't think of what you're good at either - Skills are developed over a long period of consistent practice.

Good insight on how you should focus 100% on whatever task youre performing.

I feel like youre too dispersed and un-organized and might stall out soon.

Oh, and always remember names correctly. It's the most personal thing and reflects the value you put on someone.
 

GetBetter

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Intrinsic improvements are things that affect your character. Basically, how you feel and act on a subconcious and unconcious level. Therefore, intrinsic improvements are vital and are the ones that will stick with you regardless of what you have and how much you lose.
I'd like you to tell me how to do intrinsic improvement? What else works for real improvement? I want to know!

And your conclusion is faulty. Self improvement may happen when youre around people. You cannot overcome social anxieties without interacting with people. You learn a lot from people too.
Well I think this is important just for social growth, communication etc. No?

I feel like youre too dispersed and un-organized and might stall out soon.
Shall I decide how much time to spend on which aspect?
_________________________________________________________

Approached a girl today, however we had talked a bit before but this time talked her personally.

Today was test at my coaching, there I had an eye contact for long time and then I smiled and so did she. After the test was over I went to talk to her, however the conversation wasnt so interesting... I don't remember it much so I'll just tell what I remember:

Me: Why were you laughing
Her: Me? I didn't laugh, I just smiled
Me: So you know flirting
Her: Me, No.. I just had to end what you started.
Her: Okay, I shall leave now.
Me: Okay

Her: Bye(In such a great manner that I almost lost myself)

She was leaving when I suddenly said: Hey, give me your number?

She halted, smiled and said: What will you do of my number.

I didn't know what to say and just said: Okay, dont give, bye!

Lol, I kinda laugh how I did all this; I messed it up hugely! However I am happy that I could talk to this girl without any hesitation, into her eyes and was freely talking. Not gonna pay her attention tomorrow for sure :p I'll let her stare me and come to me.
 
Last edited:

GetBetter

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1st September 2013(Today):

Today wasn't a good day at all. For the school programme me and my friends practiced for school dance competition for the whole schooling hours. However I am not sure if our dance programme would turn great seeing that we arent prepared.

Had really bad fight with my brother and I regret what I said. I am really breaking relations with those with whom I shall be most bonded to...

After the fight, I kept mourning I really felt bad and kept pondering over stuff as I felt awful. I kept wondering why I am becoming like this, why I am turning bad, why am I no longer the son my parents loved and adored my qualities. Why am I ruining, losing all that I have/had, even my teachers say so. These days I say things without even thinking. I don't study even though I have one of my most important exams starting next week and I dont know anything. Losing interest in everything and I just keep feeling that...

I don't live, I just exist....


I have to change that and become Yes I am alive.

And so as NorwegianDJ had said, I really do need Intrinsic Improvement; I shall take life and myself more seriously... I've just started to realize bits of freedom and I am already scared of it.

Freedom is proper only when you know what you want out of life otherwise you will just ruin with time, tether to pieces and will have nothing to do but mourn about how bad life is...

I have to get serious about life... And so about intrinsic development, however I am not so sure what to do but I'll have to develop proper determination, spend proper time on stuff.
 

ediceneet12

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Aastikya said:
1st September 2013(Today):

Today wasn't a good day at all. For the school programme me and my friends practiced for school dance competition for the whole schooling hours. However I am not sure if our dance programme would turn great seeing that we arent prepared.

Had really bad fight with my brother and I regret what I said. I am really breaking relations with those with whom I shall be most bonded to...

After the fight, I kept mourning I really felt bad and kept pondering over stuff as I felt awful. I kept wondering why I am becoming like this, why I am turning bad, why am I no longer the son my parents loved and adored my qualities. Why am I ruining, losing all that I have/had, even my teachers say so. These days I say things without even thinking. I don't study even though I have one of my most important exams starting next week and I dont know anything. Losing interest in everything and I just keep feeling that...

I don't live, I just exist....


I have to change that and become Yes I am alive.

And so as NorwegianDJ had said, I really do need Intrinsic Improvement; I shall take life and myself more seriously... I've just started to realize bits of freedom and I am already scared of it.

Freedom is proper only when you know what you want out of life otherwise you will just ruin with time, tether to pieces and will have nothing to do but mourn about how bad life is...

I have to get serious about life... And so about intrinsic development, however I am not so sure what to do but I'll have to develop proper determination, spend proper time on stuff.
As someone who was stuck in a similar rut before finding sosuave and turning my life around this summer. I just want to let you know I'm here for you man and whatever goals you have set out for yourself. I think your right about the intrinsic motivation change needs to come from within first.

Read some of the motivational stuff they have on this board it really got me feeling better about myself. It changed the way I think the way I see the world around me. You and me both man are trying to change our lives for the better, it's great to know there's people out there for you and who will support you but the best support you can have is the support of yourself.

But hey it's true you really do need to change on the inside first, once i changed my attitude on life and the people around me people noticed and took notice of my new attitude. Working out/running is easy sh1t compared to the work it takes to change your mood and attitude and how you see the world around you.

Anyways man I hope you find what your looking for and find that determination. The motivation has to be internal though your not doing this because you want to pick up girls you want to do this because you want to better yourself and chisel yourself into a man.

You can ****ing do it man
 

GetBetter

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Alright guys, I am back! However I never disappeared; my exams started and I had lost my net. I got net few days ago and my exams ended yesterday! Yippeeee!

@ediceneet12: Yeah man, I know. I am trying to make my life awesome, full of fun and what not! Trust me I am not doing this for any girl but for myself, I want to have a great life man!
Btw can you link me to some of the links that you think changed your mindset and life?
____________________________________________________

To the rest, I've created a time table so that I can work on stuff properly instead of messing up and not having time to do anything!

So here it is:


Now about other things I have noticed in myself that I really want to discuss. A incident happened few days ago, and based on that I think Sosuave has made me rather rude to girls? I made fun of my friend, apparently a girl, and she got so mad about it that she started crying. She expected me to apologize and told me it was a mistake she never expected from me. However I told her that you are making this a big issue and really didnt feel bad at all.

Also I dont have crushes on girls anymore. I read that oneistis is bad and so whenever a thought of liking a girl badly comes, I just repress it. Although I see a very good looking girl at my tuition classes, however I do not feel very sexual about her.. makes me wonder what I shall do. I once just flirted with her and after that she has been giving me looks.

That's all for now.
______________________________________________________

By any chance, can a moderator change my Sosuave name?
 

GetBetter

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Okay so according to today's schedule:

1. Pixel Art: I devoted most of my day doing Pixel Art and earned today. So yeah, done! Check!

2. Work Out:
I asked my mom to give me money to join a gym.. she said to wait for a few days... Damn I really want to join a good gym. I couldve exercised though but been doing pixel art all day... I should really learn to manage time. So No Work-Out today :(

3. Meditation:
No

4. Read Newspaper
: Done! Newspaper reading is really boring though. However it updates and gives topics for conversations! Awesome!

5. Business Idea:
Working on the one I formed months ago - Work on my own game.

6. Flirting/Cold Approaching:
**** I forgot about this today! Darn it man! So No Flirting done today...

7. Get Out: I went out to a local food market in our city, with my school friends and some other friends as well. Enjoyed there, but not so much. I like to travel more and many a times alone so that I meet new people. Nothing new today.

That's the story for today. I am going to read those 'Best of Motivation' posts after posting this.
 

GetBetter

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Yesterday(1/10/13):

According to Tuesday's schedule:

Woke up in the morning early than usual as I had to go to school during the holidays for some reason. So yeah me and my friends went to school, riding our bikes - awesome journey; freshness of morning was refreshing, and the speed which I love was really thrilling! Anyways, basketball tournaments are going on in our school thats why there's a holiday for non participants.

There were lots of girls who had come from different parts of country. Yet one girl of our school really stood out to me. She's one year junior than me, and oh man! She's looks damn good! I kinda have crush on her but from whatever my friends had told me, she has a boyfriend already!

What to do? Nowadays only few girls attract me(those who are super hot ofcourse :p)

After we returned from school, we had fun. We went for party, did bowling and stuff and then returned home. Was a great day! Thus, Get Out, done!

After returning from school, I went to coaching class. I really hate going there these days, it's boring nowadays. But again, it's not the world who is boring but it's us, right? And thus once again, how can I be fun?

Oh I now remember I had rest a post that says:
Be Active - Keep Doing something
Do not Listen to Anyone
Just Do it!
Believe that you are fun!
Smile and Laugh
Change your life!


I think I should keep recalling that!


After I came from coaching classes, I was really tired and thus couldnt do much of pixelling.. However I did read newspaper and did pray and meditated. Gah! I couldn't concentrate yesterday on meditation... the new girl in our school's facebook profile kept coming in my mind! I really need to do something...

Yet I stayed awake and started writing more for my novel and damn I wrote some really awesome things and several pages! I just let my unconscious mind write, mixed with some conscious thinking.

And then I finally slept.
_______________________________
Today(2/10/13)

Went out to a waterpark *** amusement park with my younger cousins and my aunt. Was a long drive and I just kept asleep most of the time during journey.

Once we reached there, we entered the park and directly went to pools and then to various slides. Slides weren't too much dangerous and thus not much fun...The whole day was okay one but I worked out too much and thus was super tired. Did nothing as whole day went into this stuff.

I saw many girls there, most of them were with their boyfriends, again. On the dance floor I really wanted to dance but I was alone and all were strangers to me. I thought of trying to make new friends there but I never approached anyone. Thus just had to observe everyone and return back to cousins..

I thought I could be a lone tiger but I guess I am not able become one.

Also, a question popped up in my mind... What is a Don Juan? Is he the one who talks to all the girls, his charm is irresistible and sleeps with lots of women? If so I am really failing.

I do not talk to lots of girls and try to spark a conversation with only those whom I have some interest. Also, I have never kissed a girl.. and I really want to do that!
 

GetBetter

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NorwegianDJ said:
Remember, no matter how much I might tell you to do different (I really think you should add it!!), the most important thing is consistency. Just keep on setting goals and achieving them.
I think I should remember that! Thus now setting permanent goals, however short term atm.

1. Become the most charming person: I think the activities I've decided will help me become one.

2. Complete my game: I have to complete my game, anyhow! And earn money from it!

3. Have kiss: I wish to have a kiss atleast before I complete my high school. However not with anyone but a super hot chick that attracts me.

4. Learn great drawing and get admission into Ringling/Sheridan/Digipen.
__________________________________

Once these goals are met. I'll frame new goals and would achieve them!
 

Watawata

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I would like to know more details about the game!
 
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