Hitting it off

Correct me if I'm wrong, but recently reading through boot camp this dawned on me. The art of the cold approach is nothing more than making happen the "Hit it off" portion of the old saying: "We met doing (insert action) and just sorta, hit it off".

It's just a matter of having the balls to approach and make that connection. It's our interpersonal skills and a successful approach that make up the "hit it off".

So my question.. I get the concept of hitting it off.. but I'm having problems with the approach. I have no problem creating rapport with people. I have many stores and restaurants that I go to and get "special" service because I create that rapport with strangers. And as I'm writing this my roommate has family over and I'm having no problems carrying on conversations with these new people. I really don't feel like I have a problem so much with the convo, it's the initiation. I went for a walk through my town .. took me a solid 45 minutes.. but every time I came across someone to spark a convo with, the approach would have been super awkward (ie ppl across the street so i'd have to beeline thru traffic, or a couple in the alley arguing.) I could have started talking with a lady about her dog, but when my dog and I walked past, her dog flipped out. haha Anyway.. I just feel like if I were to approach most of the people around here I'd be interrupting at a very awkward time for them, or stopping them in the middle of a mission. Am i missing something? I think about if i saw a girl at the bar when i'm out with friends and i can think of 100s of ways to approach her, and i know i'd do it.. wtf do i care if i get rejected, didn't know her before wont know her later to be embarassed. Might as well take the risk, right!? But trying to meet ppl on the street is proving stupid difficult.

You're overthinking it. It's a common problem with men who come to SoSuave.

Remember the three second rule. Just say something, anything, hopefully something that elicits a response.

It could be as simple as "nice hat - where'd you get it?" to asking directions. Even if you're in your own neighborhood, ask directions to something. If you do wind up getting her number and she asks why you needed directions while on a date, you can always say "I just wanted to talk to you."

And enjoy the flameouts, they come with the territory.

I totally get that concept. What I'm getting at is week 3 of starting conversations with strangers.. .i'd bee line to a hot chick, but to spark a convo with some guy thats across the street? Just seems creepy and pointless as heck.

The success of it depends entirely at each of your abilities to start and hold a conversation. If both of you are terrible conversationalists, you're going to have problems moving things to another level. If at least one of you is a good conversationalist, then success is entirely possible.

It only seems creepy because you're doing things outside your comfort zone. People generally don't converse with strangers, so keeping to yourself is the social norm. Being able to converse with somebody you don't know is perceived as confident and respectable by others who cannot do it.

I can hold a convo with anyone. Relating to ppl is retarded easy.. So just tell me straight.. did i miss the mark? Example:

I'm walking my dog.. I hear a comment like "so cute!" about my dog.. turn and look, its a cute chick in a bikini (i live by the water) but she's on the other side of the road (about 5 cars between us). Should I have cut the 180 and jumped the cars to get to her? Just seems a bit ridiculous. But what the do i know? I've been married and brain dead for 10 years.

Pause said:

Should I have cut the 180 and jumped the cars to get to her?

Click to expand...

Give me a good reason why not. Because you'll look stupid? This is a woman you don't know. If you go talk to her and she ends up never talking to you again because you "look stupid", how does this affect your life? Do you lose income? Do you get your property vandalized? Does your health deteriorate?

No?

Then it's not stupid.

However, you DO increase your chances of getting a date or a lay.

Haha, i love it. I'm slowly catching on. And now in hindsight I can see exactly what I should have done:

Her: (across the street) awe! cute dog!
Me: *nod suavely*
(hit the cross walk and double back)
Me: I wanted to keep going but my dog insisted we come back and thank you for the compliment.
*dog leans in for rubbins*
Her: You're so welcome! What a cute dog blah blah
Me: When your done there you can come back to my place and rub my belly too . .

Haha, i know.. but the dog thing would obviously be the convo starter and then I help the "we hit it off from there" along.

Do we have any write ups here on how dogs help break barriers? Are they not the masters of kino? Think about it, they dont give a crap about personal space, they get in there and expect to be touched. That's gotta have a ton of interesting effects on breaking the stranger barrier.

is he STILL married? if so, no, can't even think about it! if not, why not go speak with her?

wow no.. I take my vows before God top shelf serious. I'm freshly divorced and super noon.