My friends are terrible wingmen

After the last girl I had posted about and I encountered several scheduling obstacles and haven't been able to find the time to meet up (she's on a business trip, the project I am means long hours), I have begun asking my friends in relationships if they or their girlfriends know any HB's looking to meet up with someone. Fair enough to ask, I think.

The results have not only been unsuccessful, but also odd. My friends act like it's a crazy request and raise their noses up, forgetting that I have introduced them to plenty girls in the past. The girlfriends have friends, but there's instantly a story as to why it wouldn't work. Today, one of my friends mentioned a friend he wanted to set my buddy up with, but my buddy just got into a relationship. Seeing how we're all friends, I inquire. He didn't give a reason, but also didn't seem willing to help.

I'm used to having to get HBs by myself. I've very rarely ever had an effective wingman and have come to expect people offering help to let me down (comes from experience). However, changing times mean I could use a little help from my friends in my social circle, and I'm not receiving it.

I'm not perfect, but I believe I'm a solid catch and dateable at the very least. Is there anything I could say or do to garner more support from my friends?

The LadyKiller said:

After the last girl I had posted about and I encountered several scheduling obstacles and haven't been able to find the time to meet up (she's on a business trip, the project I am means long hours), I have begun asking my friends in relationships if they or their girlfriends know any HB's looking to meet up with someone. Fair enough to ask, I think.

The results have not only been unsuccessful, but also odd. My friends act like it's a crazy request and raise their noses up, forgetting that I have introduced them to plenty girls in the past. The girlfriends have friends, but there's instantly a story as to why it wouldn't work. Today, one of my friends mentioned a friend he wanted to set my buddy up with, but my buddy just got into a relationship. Seeing how we're all friends, I inquire. He didn't give a reason, but also didn't seem willing to help.

I'm used to having to get HBs by myself. I've very rarely ever had an effective wingman and have come to expect people offering help to let me down (comes from experience). However, changing times mean I could use a little help from my friends in my social circle, and I'm not receiving it.

I'm not perfect, but I believe I'm a solid catch and dateable at the very least. Is there anything I could say or do to garner more support from my friends?

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Bro don't ever depend on friends or anyone else. No one wants to do whats good for you and not good for them.

Think about it: if you are a solid catch and dateable but still single, your friends status with their girlfriends goes up. They tell their girlfriends: "see, ladykiller is a solid catch but still single, look how good of a catch I am. You should be so lucky to have me."

Helping you out would only hurt their image, it's good for them you are single and can't get into a relationship. Have to do it yourself.

I have tried this in the past. Usually my friends girl won't want to introduce me. What you need to do is get some friends that are single and go find some girls.

Sounds like they either A don't approve of you in that regard or B are threatened by the notion... I'm leaning towards A just because of your general attitude...

I've never even wanted someone to "set me up".... I thought only women did that crap....always always do it yourself... Don't rely in your friends for anything... And just because they set u up on a date doesn't mean the chick will like you.

Its easier to just go meet women.on.your on.

Whenever my AFC buddy randomly brings up how he banged this girl or almost did, I always ask what she looks like. He gets really defensive and usually doesn't show me, he says it's odd that I ask what they look like but I personally think it's pathetic to bring up how you almost/banged a girl out of random- I would understand if was related to the conversation but it's literally out of random.

How does this relate to you? Well he gets defensive and weirded out when I ask and your friends probably act the same. That friend in particular is no way bros before hoes, I'm guessing your buddies are the same.

for me it is the same.

When some of my guy friends are single, they always tell the ones who have a gf to bring their gf's female friends to our parties/nights out, but it rarely happens.

And it's even funnier cause when these guys do have a gf, they never bring any of their gf's female friends, but they asked for it when they were single, motherfvckers...
It seems once they are in a relationship, they "forget" about their bros. Besides, once they land a girl, the vanish from Earth, and spend all their free time with their girlfriends.
It seems that once your bros get into a relationship they totally forget how it was to be single.

I think they dont care to help you in this issue cause they, deep inside, think they have now higher status than you, so if they helped you and you landed a girl too, you two would be at the same level, and they get a greater feeling of superiority when they have something that you dont have. Also I think they think something like: "I am lucky to have a gf now, so if he wants a girl...well, it's his problem not mine."


Its weird from my point of view because when I've had a gf I didnt have any problems to introduce some of her female friends to my buddies if I or my gf thought they would click.

This also applies for my female friends not just my bros. They do not really 'introduce me' to any of their single girl friends I like. If it happens it is just by chance, not because they wanted to help me to find a girl.


It is all a selfishness thing, even if they are not fully aware of it.
They prefer to see you in a lower level of accomplishments, so they feel better about themselves.

Sorry there's no good way to go about it. When you have to ask your 'friends' for help in this regard you're subcommunicating you can't get any.

Emotionally unhealthy people want to see you fail so they can feel better about themselves. Either 1. Find more confident friends. 2. Do it on your own 3. Do both.

Just about all guys who are not redpill will **** you over as a wingman. First hand experience right here lol.

Heres my advice LadyKiller to get the results you want.

1. Dont bring it up explicitly. Just go to social events with your friend where the female friends are also likely so show up. Game accordingly.

2. Put attention to the one or two single friends in your group who are genuinely also interested or trying to meet woman like you and recruit them as wing men. You are both in the same boat so it is win win.



The problem with how you are going about it is you are directly asking your friends to give away their "perceived" social power. If things arent working out with their gf, they can always cheat/sleep with her friend as backup... but not if you are riding her instead!!! You are also adding more male competition to the environment for the females attention and affection, which just makes life harder. You are assuming that everything is "peachy" in their current relationship and that your friend doesnt have any ulterior motives in the back of his mind. You must obtain the real social power for yourself through exposure and escalation.

Interesting. The responses make sense now that I think about it. Personally, I have no problems introducing my friends to HBs and trying to match them up if the situation arises. A bit surprised most friends feel differently.

Plenty of good advice in this thread already. I would just think about the kid of woman that you want and what you want with her. Do you want casual secks? Do you want an LTR? Do you want a wife?

After you've thought about it in detail, think about where that kind of women would hangout? Do you like shy, quiet girls who like novels? Maybe your local library, bookstore, or college cafeteria will help. Do you like party girls that you can bang within a short time after meeting them? Maybe going out to a night club, a wedding, or Las Vegas (or its equivalent) is a good idea.

No one will do things for you. The only women that will come and sit on your lap are strippers, and that's because they want to get the hundreds in your wallet by exploiting your sexual desires.