Although I'm blessed with good looks, I think I can't compete with the famous "20 %"

24 years old, I wouldn't label this stage of life I'm in right now as "hard times", since I'm still decent looking and get some attention but we all know that our facebook/tinder/blabla generation is able to chat with 10/10s or 9/10s all the time, which forces 8/10s, 7/10s, and below, to accept that they are womens' number-two choice.

I've often read that about 80% of the girls are having *** with about 20% of the guys and I believe that. And those 20% mainly consist of really good looking men. This "alpha" blabla is just a small part of it. If you're good looking, almost anything you do is seen as "alpha". (Halo Effect)

My question is: What would you do when you've got the feeling that most women that you're interested in are only focused on Trey Songz lookalikes and you can be as confident as you want, it won't change a thing?

Status is more important.

DiegoSantori said:

24 years old, I wouldn't label this stage of life I'm in right now as "hard times", since I'm still decent looking and get some attention but we all know that our facebook/tinder/blabla generation is able to chat with 10/10s or 9/10s all the time, which forces 8/10s, 7/10s, and below, to accept that they are womens' number-two choice.

I've often read that about 80% of the girls are having *** with about 20% of the guys and I believe that. And those 20% mainly consist of really good looking men. This "alpha" blabla is just a small part of it. If you're good looking, almost anything you do is seen as "alpha". (Halo Effect)

My question is: What would you do when you've got the feeling that most women that you're interested in are only focused on Trey Songz lookalikes and you can be as confident as you want, it won't change a thing?

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Your self-limiting and self-defeating beliefs are more of a problem than anything else. The mind if is a funny thing. It believes what you tell it, then finds a way to make it true. When you say things like "I can't" or "I'm not able to", or "it won't work" your mind makes it become reality by controlling your actions subconsciously to lead you to the belief pattern you have established. Your belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Its called "Negative Self-Talk" and is a big reason many people fail at various things in life---they have been telling themselves over and over again in their own mind they will.

This is why people who achieve greatness almost unequivocally have a strong belief in themselves and are constantly creating positive affirmations in their lives, whether it be money, success, etc...their mind is following what its told. Its being told to achieve these things and it figures out a way to do it. Do you think Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan or Tom Brady or Joe Montana thought when they had the ball in their hand with a few seconds left in the game and a chance to win it, they were going to lose? Hell no! They believed they would win, so strongly in fact, they made everyone else around them believe it too...and most of the time they did.

I think you'll find that when you start believing you can do things and that nothing can stand in your way and actually start believing in that, your mind will create opportunities seemingly "out of the blue" or you will find yourself in situations that lead to you succeeding.

Nobody has ever succeeded by telling themselves they can't do something or having self-limiting and self-defeating beliefs.

There is a saying:

"Some people believe they can, some people believe they can't. Both are right."

If you believe it it's true, for you anyway.

marmel75 said:

There is a saying:

"Some people believe they can, some people believe they can't. Both are right."

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I totally get what you mean and I think that it's undoubtedly true for your career but when it comes to women, don't they distinguish between 10s,9s,8s,etc lookswise?

How come that women on twitter ask green-eyed lightskin models if they can have their babies? That's not self-belief, that's appearance.

DiegoSantori said:

I totally get what you mean and I think that it's undoubtedly true for your career but when it comes to women, don't they distinguish between 10s,9s,8s,etc lookswise?

How come that women on twitter ask green-eyed lightskin models if they can have their babies? That's not self-belief, that's appearance.

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Your looks obviously play a part. Basically the better looking you are, the easier it is for you. That doesn't mean that if you aren't the best looking guy you can't get what you want. It just means that you will have to work harder and put in more effort. Similar to the guys who don't have the natural athletic talent but bust their asses in the weight room, in the film room, and on the field to become great players, versus the guys with natural talent who have it come easy. Or the guys the have to bust their ass in the weight room, eat clean, and do everything right, while others can seemingly lift a few times a month, eat like crap and still look great. Both can be great, some just have to work harder than others. This is true in anything in life. Some people are just naturally more talented at certain things, but this doesn't mean that you can't be very good at them if you are willing to put in the work and effort to do so.

Typically as long as you pass the minimum physical attractiveness threshold, you can get the women to sleep with you if you have enough game. How much you need will depend on how far above the threshold you are. And the threshold is typically lower than most guys think it is.

I don't think I'm great looking. I mean I'm decent enough looking but I'm not a guy women are going to go crazy for looks wise. However I busted my ass in the gym and I have a kick ass body, and that makes up for a lot. I'd say straight looks wise, I'm probably a 6. Factor in my body and that bumps me up to probably a 7. You have to do the best with what you got, put in the work and effort to maximize yourself, and then believe in yourself. Those three things will take you very far in life, not only with women, but in any aspect of life.

DiegoSantori said:

I totally get what you mean and I think that it's undoubtedly true for your career but when it comes to women, don't they distinguish between 10s,9s,8s,etc lookswise?

How come that women on twitter ask green-eyed lightskin models if they can have their babies? That's not self-belief, that's appearance.

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_____

Keep using a simple anecdote or two to justify your own fear and limiting beliefs. What's in your head is your choice. And it will limit you as much as you allow.

So give up based upon a completely falsifiable notion.

DiegoSantori said:

24 years old, I wouldn't label this stage of life I'm in right now as "hard times", since I'm still decent looking and get some attention but we all know that our facebook/tinder/blabla generation is able to chat with 10/10s or 9/10s all the time, which forces 8/10s, 7/10s, and below, to accept that they are womens' number-two choice.

I've often read that about 80% of the girls are having *** with about 20% of the guys and I believe that. And those 20% mainly consist of really good looking men. This "alpha" blabla is just a small part of it. If you're good looking, almost anything you do is seen as "alpha". (Halo Effect)

My question is: What would you do when you've got the feeling that most women that you're interested in are only focused on Trey Songz lookalikes and you can be as confident as you want, it won't change a thing?

Click to expand...

I just finished a book called 'psycho cybernetics'. It's written by a plastic surgeon who found that 50% of the surgeries he did resulted in clients still being unhappy with the way they looked, not because he did a bad job but because the problem was in their head; no matter how good they looked they still didn't feel worthy of their looks. He came up with a formula to cure this negative self image and self sabotage that a lot of us possess. I'd give it a whirl it will probably help you.

And btw looks really aren't that important in a guy.

switch7 said:

I just finished a book called 'psycho cybernetics'. It's written by a plastic surgeon who found that 50% of the surgeries he did resulted in clients still being unhappy with the way they looked, not because he did a bad job but because the problem was in their head; no matter how good they looked they still didn't feel worthy of their looks. He came up with a formula to cure this negative self image and self sabotage that a lot of us possess. I'd give it a whirl it will probably help you.

And btw looks really aren't that important in a guy.

Click to expand...

Thank you. Definitely going to read that book.

Gonna post this for the third time:

Optimizing your looks
Looks do play a part in this, but not how most of you guys think. Having good looks means that you take care of yourself. It takes work, but it is VERY far from impossible. Work out like no other till you get ripped as hell. Style your hair to what suits you best. Eat healthy so that you look healthier, sleep more so that you look more energetic, and get a tan to make it look like you go out a lot. Understand your body and learn to read body language. Learn to control your own body language too because it does a lot of the talking for you. Buy nicer clothes that fit better on you. At this point, you have pretty much optimized your looks. But to those who want to enhance their jawline, chew at least a pack of gum everyday and make sure that you chew REALLY hard. This will build up your jaw muscle and give you better breath. Learn to speak at a pitch in which your body resonates by finding you sympathetic frequency (basically, learn how to make your voice carry). Hygiene is pretty much a given on what to do.

A woman will subconsciously see that a man with good looks has good looks because he takes care of himself and that shows that he can take care of her (basic primitive needs). There's lots you can do to optimize looks and health. All you have to do is just do it.

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Looks play a part and guess what? When you are insecure, you are less attractive. Think about it like this -- when you have a positive energy, when you are feeling confident, when you love talking and fliritng with girls and it is just normal for you, you will be able to pick up pretty much any woman. Or at least that is my experience. I was pure and natural at gaming women, I never even looked at an article about it, and I got pretty much every single one that I wanted. 90% of the time! Then I went to prison for a few years, my spirit was crushed, and now I am on here with the rest of you guys . I look pretty much the same except that I am very well built and I am picking up maybe 10% - 15% of the women I hit on. I know it is nothing more than what is going on inside of me and I have been working hard to correct it.

When you are feeling good and confident, you will have a sparkle in your eye, your face will look more attractive, the way your eyes move will inspire women to spread their legs. So focus on making yourself healthy both physically and mentally, and also choose to do things that lead to positive outcomes for you adding to your self esteem and confidence.

It takes time and commitment to be the person you want to be, don't give up because you can accomplish everything that you want to.