Her ex is her best friend

phil2015 · Sep 13, 2014

Hi chaps

Got a bit of a situation arisen, that I'm pretty unfamiliar with and wondered if any one had any similar experience or advice from past happenings.

Been seeing a girl now for a while and recently her ex has popped back into the picture. She split with him in April this year and they were together about 18 months. I don't mind her keeping/remaining friends etc, but I cannot help but feel slightly encroached by his constant presence in her life. Without jumping to any conclusions or judgement about her I will simply state some facts for your consideration of the situation ;

- she flies off the handle with temper if I mention him in the slightest negative light

- On the one occasion I questioned the closeness of their friendship, she stated I was controlling/judgemental/thought she was easy etc

- She practically uses him as a donkey, for things such as fixing sinks at 3am, lifts here and there, general problem solving etc

- She has never once told him about me

- She recently took off some friendship /loom bands he gave her and expected me to feel honoured

Part of me is thinking I may be paranoid but part of me is telling to run for the hills....

Any good advice. Please be honest

Yours

Phil

K_architect · Sep 13, 2014

phil2015 said:
Hi chaps

- She has never once told him about me

Phil

This tells you all that you need to know, get out now.

Valentino14 · Sep 13, 2014

Ex's that pop back in are looking to pop her again.

Abandon Ship

Sorry chum

phil2015 said:
- She recently took off some friendship /loom bands he gave her and expected me to feel honoured

- She has never once told him about me

- On the one occasion I questioned the closeness of their friendship, she stated I was controlling/judgemental/thought she was easy etc

That was nice of her.

She doesn't want him to know.

She is accusing you now.

Start running for those hills.

No.Danny · Sep 13, 2014

How does his c0ck taste?

AttackFormation · Sep 13, 2014

Her ex is her best friend huh?

Stay away from her.

GS750 · Sep 13, 2014

Ex still in the picture is a major red flag. She's holding onto that connection for a reason. He still wants to hit it guaranteed. She knows this and keeps him as an orbiter. Eject Ghost-rider.

SmooveMooves · Sep 13, 2014

I'm my ex's best friend right now. And I know she wants to fvck. In fact that's the only reason I'm her friend.

Fixing sinks at 3AM? Lol she's fvcking him.

Dump her she isn't worth your time.

Especially considering she hasn't told him about you.

That b1tch is a b1tch.

And she doesn't care about you.

El Payaso · Sep 13, 2014

If you don't like it, then dump her. Simple.

Big Nuts · Sep 13, 2014

This has danger written all over it. I would pretend things are good and up the level of filthy sex with her for completely selfish reasons.....anal, fisting, face painting, goo swallowed, cripple her vagina and initiate contact with other women. I hope you have an exit strategy.

mangotot · Sep 13, 2014

Soon she'll ask you to watch while she fu***s him. And you won't even be allowed to join in. Cuckold.

nyc123 · Sep 13, 2014

you're right to feel suspicious/uncomfortable. i would too.

the rest of these guys who posted are probably right too. i won't say absolutely for sure though.

VladPatton · Sep 13, 2014

I agree with the guys...drop this biznitch ASAP. Trust your gut. Just tell her it's done without any explanation and go ghost on her. Fvck her and her ex. That sh!t is bad news, bro.

YawataNoKami · Sep 14, 2014

"Man Up" and get married , she sound promising.

DragonBlood · Sep 14, 2014

"Her ex is her best friend"

I bet he is

This is all I needed to hear, but the others have picked out very solid points. Fixing the pipes at 3am LMAO. Kick this piece of trash to the curb. Some say get nasty with her in the bedroom, I say YOU be the one to break it off with her as shes not expecting it. Maintain your frame and dignity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg

phil2015 · Sep 17, 2014

Update

Thanks for the replies guys, think there's a lot to be learnt and applied from this.

As a development, she had a meeting with her ex on Sunday and told him they are just friends and she was seeing someone. She stated since, that it is my fault and I pressured her through insecurity, etc etc. Starting to get really annoying however, she talks about this guy on every other sentence, even when we are out or together.

I'm thinking the best thing to do in this situation, as it stands is just to go ghost, dissappear off the radar and initiate no contact now

AttackFormation · Sep 17, 2014

phil2015 said:
I'm thinking the best thing to do in this situation, as it stands is just to go ghost, dissappear off the radar and initiate no contact now

You're learning fast, just don't do it because you want to "make things right" with her. Go no contact because you're looking for other girls who come without this bs and just use this one as a cvm dump in between.

phil2015 · Sep 17, 2014

Ok, sounds about right;

I'm curious though...

Can anyone give me a solid answer as to why a girl would remain such close (very close) friends with an ex?

Alvafe · Sep 17, 2014

phil2015 said:
Ok, sounds about right;

I'm curious though...

Can anyone give me a solid answer as to why a girl would remain such close (very close) friends with an ex?

serious? ego boost, want a safe net to when she get tired of partying, he does things to her, and if at all she only ahve to open her legs or just hint she will and the goofy will be drooling all over.

but serious? you shouldn't care, just read what her actions tell you, shaming you, still close to her ex, so tell me why you would even wonder why she will do it? just go out and find one who don't

SoSuave666 · Sep 17, 2014

phil2015 said:
Ok, sounds about right;

I'm curious though...

Can anyone give me a solid answer as to why a girl would remain such close (very close) friends with an ex?

Some people are not strong enough to let go--this includes women. Even when we realize things are broken or bad, it's easy to stick around what is comfortable. It's why NC is extremely important in life. Your ability to walk away is by far and away the most powerful tool you have. She knows that the relationship with her ex bothers you and yet she refuses to give it up for the sake of your relationship. Any healthy woman would do whatever it takes to keep you around if she is interested in you.

She probably also loves the validation that he gives her. Scratch that, I KNOW she loves the validation he gives her. If thye aren't fvcking, I bet he sure thinks they will be soon.

Anyway, I'd break up with her. I wouldn't just disappear, I'd straight up break up with her and let her know it's not working out. Don't tell her why, she already knows. THEN you go NC. This woman appears to be low quality and not worth your time.

pyros · Sep 17, 2014

this a very delicate situation. She clearly doesnt have a high interest level in you, that is for sure, and this is why she is acting that way: still talking, meeting etc with her ex eventhough it is plain disrespectful.

Why is she doing this? cause she still wants to either f-uck him, or get in a relationship with him.

Tell her you're dumping her and tell her why. After you've dumped her she may try to get you back, and try to convince you that she's not gonna talk to her ex again but I wouldn't trust her.

Up to you.

P.S.
You want a girl that does not disrespect you and treats you very well. She is not doing this.

Her ex is her best friend

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