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Bring up the "where are we going?" Question OR Wait for Her to?

gravityeyelids

Master Don Juan
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Okay so I met this girl on Tinder. I know, i know. Don't worry, i don't wanna date her. So we meet up for the first time a few weeks back at her friend's house and i bring my roommates and we all have a good time drinking, etc.

She's actually cute in person, and has a very decent personality. Night winds down, i pull her back to my apartment and we hook up but don't have sex (i had too much to drink). Couple days later, we're texting, she's very responsive and basically suggests we hang out. I go over to her place at 11pm-ish cause she's out of work then. We have tea and chill on the couch for a bit. I escalate. The couch is cramped, so she suggests we go to the bedroom.

Go there, bang. I wait a good couple of minutes (it's like 1am by this time), and then make preparations to leave. She asks if i want to stay for a bit and hang out. Sure, why not? She casually slips in "what? were you honestly just going to fvck me and then leave?". I explained that it was 1am after all, blah blah, whatever. And then I leave. She texts me like a half hour later *****ing me out about banging her and then leaving. I deal with it in a good manner, and by the end of the convo she's apologizing for being such a weirdo and chewing me out like that (she's super stressed from work or whatever).

So we've been hanging out maybe like twice a week since then. She ALWAYS hits me up to hang out. And i mean she's cool and she's super fun in bed, and we ALWAYS end up banging, so half the time I do. But recently she's been making comments about how we should hang out during the day, and "do different things", implying that this is moving more towards dating. And the other night she wanted me to stay after sex over night (i fvcked her so good, she was basically raving about how much i turned her on and how she didnt know how i did it), and i was still half drunk so i did, and we cuddled and hung out and stuff.

This thing is moving away from friends with benefits (which I want because she's the best girl in bed i've had for a while, and her personality is fvcking solid) and i feel like she is going to push for a relationship, which I dont want. Honestly, I can do better than her, looks and personality wise. I'm very picky about LTR's. AAAAND it's my last year of college and i'm trying to bang as many cuties as possible before i graduate.

I know the typical Don Juan way on this board is to never bring up dating and always wait until SHE pushes for a relationship and respond accordingly. But i dont wanna lead her on by going on a "day date" and then have to drop a bomb on her when she brings it up (if she does?)

I'd almost rather head it off and start a convo with something like "we should probably talk about something. I feel like I'm leading you on and that you want something more than what I want" and then explain that i'm not looking for anything serious. Honestly, i'm willing to drop this girl if necessary, but she's super into me, so i'd bet all my money that if i made a sort of "FWB or we shouldnt see each other any more" type of ultimatum, that she'd probably just agree to that.

Maybe i'm over thinking it, and she is cool with just doing this. However, she is constantly hitting me up and seems like the slightly jealous type (went out to the bar with her one night and she was getting pissed because i wasnt staying with her the whole time and i was talking to girls. To be perfectly fair, i was talking to a good number of girls that were VERY hot and basically flirting with them and even pulled a few numbers, so her anger is probably justified).

What do?
 

MoreThanAGame

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Your standards for FWBs and LTRs should be the same. Why?

1. Your time is important. Wouldn't you rather be out looking for girls who blow your mind?
2. FWBs often slowly turn into LTRs.

You don't need to tell her anything. She is an adult, and you two are having consensual sex. I would be more worried about yourself. Every minute you spend with this girl is one less minute you will spend talking up the potential girl of your dreams.
 

gravityeyelids

Master Don Juan
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MoreThanAGame said:
Your standards for FWBs and LTRs should be the same. Why?

1. Your time is important. Wouldn't you rather be out looking for girls who blow your mind?
2. FWBs often slowly turn into LTRs.

You don't need to tell her anything. She is an adult, and you two are having consensual sex. I would be more worried about yourself. Every minute you spend with this girl is one less minute you will spend talking up the potential girl of your dreams.
I disagree. My standards for LTR's are not only higher but also different. I will tolerate some things from a FWB (especially if the sex is consistant and good) that i would never tolerate from a potential LTR. FWB's is almost entirely about physical attractiveness and quality in the sack. Everything else is secondary.

For LTR's personality and compatibility is paramount. Sex needs to be great as well.

1. Oh don't worry, i still have plenty of girls i'm gaming on the side, and always go out with a wingman without her on the weekends.
 

jimmy18

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TL;DR but do NOT verbalize anything.

Just keep fvcking her.

Men's job is to fvck (action realm); women's job is to initiate relationships (communication realm)
 

Greasy Pig

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Just keep banging her and FFS stop the sleepovers. Make an excuse about work, sport, study, calling your mum, whatever.
Scale her back to once a week if possible.
Basically you need to stop giving her signals that you're open to a relationship and reinforce in her mind that you're simply Mr Goodfvck who will pleasure her but not do any of the sappy boyfriend crap she may want.
She'll eventually get sick of this and bring things to a head. Then you either let her down easy or tell her you're a confirmed bachelor who can't be tied down at the moment but you'd like to still hang with her casually.
You'll get your answer soon enough.
 

gravityeyelids

Master Don Juan
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Greasy Pig said:
Just keep banging her and FFS stop the sleepovers. Make an excuse about work, sport, study, calling your mum, whatever.
Scale her back to once a week if possible.
Basically you need to stop giving her signals that you're open to a relationship and reinforce in her mind that you're simply Mr Goodfvck who will pleasure her but not do any of the sappy boyfriend crap she may want.
She'll eventually get sick of this and bring things to a head. Then you either let her down easy or tell her you're a confirmed bachelor who can't be tied down at the moment but you'd like to still hang with her casually.
You'll get your answer soon enough.
Beautiful post. Great advice. It's just hard to keep blowing her off because she hits me up like multiple times a week. But im gonna start doing this immediately.
 
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