dating advice for a ginger guy

sambwoy · Jul 3, 2014

I live in the UK and I recently started putting mousse in my hair, yet I feel the only reason I'm doing this because I got put down and called names/heckled from cars for years, and I'm just doing it for approval, yet surprised when someone gives a compliment.

I just don't know what mindset to have. My sexuality is all confused, because I feel women exclude me, partly because of the hair (and that I have aspergers) but I am not gay either.

Please help.

PokerStar · Jul 3, 2014

wear a hat. better yet, just shave your head. no need to spend on hair products, comb and you can leave from bed to out the door in no time.

Masculinity · Jul 3, 2014

It sounds like this is a very sensitive topic for you. If it really makes you feel concerned, like the other guy said, shave it or just own it. One of the best guys in pickup--Tyler Durden--is a redhead in addition to losing his hair. He admits it openly and keeps on rolling with life. It's easier said than done, but you should consider taking one of these approaches.

apprenticedj · Jul 3, 2014

As others have said, embrace it or change it.

Shave it off, dye it, do whatever you want but I know a ginger fella who embraces it to the fullest. He wears it longer, real wavy and it looks really good. He's had girlfriends, got action etc.

My main point would be that being a ginger isn't all that bad. In fact I'm sure some girls have a thing for redheads just like some fellas fancy them exclusively. Develope your potential in other areas and your hair will be a non-factor.

Just be you, ginger locks and all. :rockon:

El Payaso · Jul 3, 2014

Eat well and workout. Women tend to be more attracted to fit men than hair color.

Don-Kong · Jul 3, 2014

I saw some ginger dude the other day killing it in the club with some sexy chick. We all have our insecurity which makes our game suffer.
Accept it, love it, openly poke fun at it or your whole aura and vibe will never get a chance. The vibe, the energy, being fun, thats what gets the chicks.
Shave that **** off or peacock by using a really cool hat.

metomeya · Jul 3, 2014

Stop being ginger...please.

PeasantPlayer · Jul 3, 2014

I knew this ginger dude with freckles, he owned it and pulled mad booty. More then me and he wasn't what people called a ......looker. He was actually pulling more chicks then me. Embrace it let go of the rest

Huffman · Jul 3, 2014

Wow man, go on vacation in Southern Europe or Latin America... they'll be all over you

Poop1337 · Jul 3, 2014

A lot of girls like gingers. Keep on making approaches and stop looking for female validation. You sound very outcome dependent.

sambwoy · Jul 3, 2014

Poop1337 said:
A lot of girls like gingers. Keep on making approaches and stop looking for female validation. You sound very outcome dependent.

I'll be honest that last part has been driving me mad. Living a youth of self-abuse with bottled up thoughts (not being able to vent my anger), negative outlook and having to see a therapist.

I used to think that female validation, especially from 'hotties', was an awesome concept that only happened to a lucky few.

FairShake · Jul 3, 2014

Sam whatever is keeping you from enjoying life as you would like is deeper inside than just your hair color. It sounds like you haven't had it easy and I sympathize. I haven't either and it's a tough road for us to get to a place where we're comfortable. Now, fixing it is far harder than fixing your hair color. You can just shave your head for that. This take more, shaving off your past.

However, WHEN (not if) you get to that place you will be more comfortable than most. You've earned it.

In the mean time work on your self. Your health, your career, your friendships and family, your self worth. You get these in step and nothing can stop you.

adam225 · Jul 4, 2014

Set your hair on fire.... Seriously man, who gives a sh1t ? If she's shallow enough to judge you by your hair colour then she ain't worth bothering with anyway....

Pardner · Jul 4, 2014

Why don't you get a hair cut dye your hair and tone it down a little?

Harry Wilmington · Jul 4, 2014

The problem is, you're thinking that being ginger is causing women to not want to date you. In actuality, it's your lack of confidence in yourself as a result of being ginger that causes girls to avoid you. Think of all the fat balding slobs you see around town dating women that are much hotter than they should be. Those guys didn't allow their fat or baldness to prevent them from feeling good about themselves - and it's important because that kind of confidence is what radiates out and makes women attracted to you. So, I'd say focus less on the whole "ginger" thing and work more on becoming comfortable with who you are - THEN, and only then, will you be able to exude the kind of confidence women want to see in a potential mate.

adam225 · Jul 4, 2014

^^^ Excellent

sambwoy · Jul 5, 2014

FairShake said:
Sam whatever is keeping you from enjoying life as you would like is deeper inside than just your hair color. It sounds like you haven't had it easy and I sympathize. I haven't either and it's a tough road for us to get to a place where we're comfortable. Now, fixing it is far harder than fixing your hair color. You can just shave your head for that. This take more, shaving off your past.

However, WHEN (not if) you get to that place you will be more comfortable than most. You've earned it.

In the mean time work on your self. Your health, your career, your friendships and family, your self worth. You get these in step and nothing can stop you.

I really liked that post. Thank you. By the way, I know that looking for approval is not an attractive trait. Its just gone mad. I just feel that life can get too much to worry about how you look on top of all that.

It just seems to me women just seem to act like they are very visual, in a way different to that of males I must hasten to add, to the point that its easier to feel self-conscious.

Bingo-Player · Jul 5, 2014

theres a ginger personal trainer in my gym

hes in great shape and has blended the ginger in with blonde dye it looks pretty cool to be honest

he constantly has attention off chicks too

work with what you have

sambwoy · Aug 6, 2014

Bingo-Player said:
theres a ginger personal trainer in my gym

hes in great shape and has blended the ginger in with blonde dye it looks pretty cool to be honest

he constantly has attention off chicks too

work with what you have

For a while I have been stuck between my parents discouraging me from talking myself down
and the way I have been treated in pubs and clubs that only aggravated my (other) hang ups. For me its not put downs its being realistic.

Maybe its that they see something in me that I am not seeing. I don't know what else to bring to the table.

My sexuality is all over the map because I never had experience- through my youth and all the opportunities like college etc, it seemed like girls didn't want to even touch me, and some would just laugh at me for 'existing'. I never got why they did this.
Sure that's immoral that they do that only to the 'unattractive' and 'homely' guys (and many do) but yeah society's fvcked up.

It's just lead to having such a bleak outlook on life- sure there are my hobbies. And please don't tell me getting a new job will help- if you have even been around many women colleagues, the looks issue always comes into that environment and will do no good. I've been there.
None of this is a whinge, I am just saying. I have not discounted others' comments either BTW.

Mike32ct · Aug 6, 2014

I can understand women not liking balding. But I can't for the life of me understand why a red head guy with full hair would be a turn off.

dating advice for a ginger guy

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