"Id never ever get back with you if you did anything with another girl"

Just broke up with the girlfriend of year and a half. Mutual thing.
I dropped her stuff off straight away, which suprised her, and she has been texting me ever since (which I have ignored) and she is complaining that I'm ignoring!

Anyway she said to me ""Id never ever get back with you if you did anything with another girl"

Do you think that is some weak attempt at getting some power back?

Shes a great lass, but too much drama. Id probably get back with her if she cut it out. Which is why I'm asking the question:

If I started talking to and meeting other girls, do you think she would actually go through with what she said, or it would make her want me MORE?!

It's hard for us to say since you know her so well. Does she typically follow through on her word? That's a good indicator of how she'd behave here.

Only way to know: go smash tons of chicks and watch her reaction!!

happyman2012 said:

Just broke up with the girlfriend of year and a half. Mutual thing.
I dropped her stuff off straight away, which suprised her, and she has been texting me ever since (which I have ignored) and she is complaining that I'm ignoring!

Anyway she said to me ""Id never ever get back with you if you did anything with another girl"

Do you think that is some weak attempt at getting some power back?

Shes a great lass, but too much drama. Id probably get back with her if she cut it out. Which is why I'm asking the question:

If I started talking to and meeting other girls, do you think she would actually go through with what she said, or it would make her want me MORE?!

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Don't respond that at all. If you keep no contact, she will pine for you and as long as you move on, you could probably call her at anytime and get laid (but you have to give it a good amount of time).

It's an empty threat. Having said that, you should never explicitly say that you're banging other chicks. You can be coy about it but don't actually admit it, even if she knows anyway.

You said yourself this chick is too much drama. She is still creating drama for you after the relationship. You don't need to have her threaten you telling you what you can/can't do after the relationship is over. When you start kowtowing to her wishes she will hold the power over you. You will do what she says and she gets to decide how you live your life. Guys let this happen after a break up trying to please the girlfriend. They turn into a beta man while they end up becoming AFC for the rest of the relationship. That will affect yoiu after and for the next relationships.

You owe this chick nothing. Do what you want and don't care what she thinks. She isn't going to change. Dramatic chicks are always going to be full of drama and headaches. Spin some plates and look for a better candidate for an LTR. If you go back to her, you will be miserable doing what she expects you to. Do you want that? Be a man. Do what YOU want.

Bokanovsky said:

It's an empty threat. Having said that, you should never explicitly say that you're banging other chicks. You can be coy about it but don't actually admit it, even if she knows anyway.

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Who cares if he admits it. They aren't together anymore. He can do whatever the hell he wants. He isn't beholden to her wishes and her empty threats. I'm sure she isn't going to go without sex on this hiatus. She might even respect him more wanting to get him back when she know he's pounding some new poon. Don't be a White Knight considering her feelings when the relationship is over.

Bokanovsky said:

I think you are missing the point. He said he wanted to get back together (presumably to have her as a FWB).

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No, I'm not. He owes her nothing. If they are in a FWB he is free to fvck whoever else he wants. Him geting other pvssy is just what he needs so he doesn't waste his time going back to her. No need to bang an ex with other chicks around.

goldengoose said:

Who cares if he admits it. They aren't together anymore. He can do whatever the hell he wants. He isn't beholden to her wishes and her empty threats. I'm sure she isn't going to go without sex on this hiatus. She might even respect him more wanting to get him back when she know he's pounding some new poon. Don't be a White Knight considering her feelings when the relationship is over.

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I think you are missing the point. He said he wanted to get back together (presumably to have her as a FWB).

The breakup went like this

Me: "think were right to breakup, something hasn't been right for a while, i havent been happy with this either, so its best we go our separate ways. If you wanna sort out what you know you need to sort out (her drama) give me a call before the end of the week though"

Since then she has been texting me...first angry, then saying she doesn't care what i do and to go **** other girls. Then she tried ringing me. Then another text.

I text her saying look you either wanna sort it or ya don't. If ya don't then please stop getting in touch.

She text saying i arnt being scheduled to get back together by end of week, it will happen naturally.

To which i replied " i think your right, a week is far too soon"

Since then she has rung me again and again, text me saying
"oh so you ignoring me"
"orite what ever looks like you got what you wanted"
"dont really know why your being so childish tbh"
and this morning "you didn't give me my shoes" (didn't realise they were at mine when I was packing her things)

Women LOL

happyman2012 said:

Just broke up with the girlfriend of year and a half. Mutual thing.
I dropped her stuff off straight away, which suprised her, and she has been texting me ever since (which I have ignored) and she is complaining that I'm ignoring!

Anyway she said to me ""Id never ever get back with you if you did anything with another girl"

Do you think that is some weak attempt at getting some power back?

Shes a great lass, but too much drama. Id probably get back with her if she cut it out. Which is why I'm asking the question:

If I started talking to and meeting other girls, do you think she would actually go through with what she said, or it would make her want me MORE?!

Click to expand...

I think you acted on your emotions bro and cut her off to prove a point or for your ego. You are already thinking about wanting her back and would get back with her if she didn't do some stuff you didn't like. It seems more like a power trip than a break up.

When I cut them out of my life (ex's, girls who are friends, guy friends), I cut them out. There is no "well if you did this, I would consider getting back with you." It's weak and shows her she can do it again if she likes.

I dunno man, I dont see it as a power trip. I cant be with her if she dosent sort her act out, plus she was thinking about breaking up too just cos of the arguments, so I did the best thing and aligned myself with the break up, and actually agreeded to it and put some blame on her aswell in a sly way.

If we didnt get back together, I wouldnt be heart broken or anything. Sure id be abit gutted but nothing I couldnt get over. We was together year and a half, bit more if you count seeing each other, so its not some over night thing. If she cant sort herself out for the sake of me and the relationship, then she isnt the right one.

What girls say many a times do not represent how they act. I remember I went through something similiar and she went apesh** like your ex trying to get in touch and much in a sense win back power. Once she knew she had me back, she dropped me like last weeks dinner.

My advice, continue to ignore her until the point she shows some maturity. Don't expect change because change is hard for people. If you let her back in, don't expect much. If not it is understandable to cut her out of your like.

*ignore This Post*

well it all came to a head tonight

she rang me for her "shoes" but went on to say that she sees what she did wrong and wants to get back together. Doing nothing with anyone else e.t.c. I said id need to think about it because I wanna be sure she will sort it.

Everything was cool till she said "friday im off to york races with work" (free ticket, can easily say no, full of blokes and lasses, wasnt going to go before)

In our relationship when we were together rules were we did stuff together like that, not seperate. Shopping meals seeing friends fine seperate, but if it was a day out like that or night out, we would go together. This work do dosent include me.

Me: look its ok saying you wanna sort it, but im not comfertable with you going tbh. If we were together you wouldnt have done, and if this was flipped you wouldnt like me going, so if you wanna shot at making it work we should go out together instead and have a great time instead of you going to races. If you really wanna go then thats ok but thats that.

Her: She claims cos she made the decision single she will and can do it, so I said I respect that but I see no way forward.
And left it at that. She wouldnt let me leave at first saying look i really wanna be with you i do i do bla bla bla.

In my opinion, if she did she would blow it off and come have a great time with me, if I was in her situation I would do it at the drop of a hat.

So yeah. Left it there

She ended up texting me again saying "so If i go thats it for good?"

So I said "what you dont understand is that you can go where ever you like. Its upto you. If your telling me you wanna sort it though, and instead of going out together you wanna do something else I'm not cool with, I dont have to like it and I have every right to walk away. You know how I feel about it. What you do is totally upto you.

She replied "Ok well loooks like this is it then cos you dont understand"

to which I said "ok, please dont contact me again unless ya change ya mind before friday

She messaged a mutual friend (dosent want much to do with it all):

Her: He literally just told me never to contact him again
Him: Just ignore him. He will come round x
Her: He won't this is it it's over for good x
Him: Holy moly don't get down about it. Good comes from bad. x
Her: Can only wait and see now doubt il ever hear from him again this really isn't good x
Him: It will seem bad but it won't be. Be strong and all will end well x
Her: I can only hope so x

*bump* want abit of advice. do you think I did the right thing? If not, how can I?

I am trying to be a better man and value everyones input.

Thanks

Thanks mate! Good to see another persons point of view.

I was begining to doubt myself, I read about women and ultimatums and that being persuasive is a better way I could have addressed it. I havent sent this though, I think I might do on Friday if i havent heard from her - that way it does leave the door open abit.

"You know, I had a thought today, and I think you should go. After all, we arnt together at the moment so I wouldnt be sacrificing my relationship boundaries, plus it'll be a good chance for us both to do our own thing. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head!

You definetly want to go, and my offer of going out together, having a great time like we did in the begining and possibly building a brand new relationship with the past behind us and changes made dosent seem to be worth not going to the races - something you could do any time, afterall the ticket is free and its something we could have done together in the future! Thats ok, I respect that. I would never force anyone to be with me or meet up and likewise I wouldnt want to be with anyone who put us so far down priority wise.

I only offered you what I did because you rang me and said thats what you felt you wanted and I thought we could do it. We got further on that phone call than we had in 6 months and it was a kind of "breakthrough" moment!

If you end up going - have a good time and win! I'd like to say maybe we could meet up in a few months time but I think things would be too far gone then. If you havent already done so, please can you take my name off the holiday. That reminds me, have a good time there too! I know how you wanted us to go as a little family me you and spike haha would have been a blast, especially keeping him from ****ting on ya uncles special lawn ha ha.

Anyway like I said to you when I saw ya, you feel like you wanna make this work then get in touch and we'll go out friday and forget the world! Ignore everyone else, this is about me and you. Where the lines drawn as to what is acceptable in our relationship is between us. Only you know what you truley want, I had a great time together either way.


(spikes the dog haha)

What she really means is - "If you get with someone else and seem like you're happy without me, I'll come chasing after you again and try to pin you back down." She fears you moving on and being even more happy without her. Put it to test if you don't believe me. Just carry on ignoring her and find someone else who you are happy with .

haha I guess that is what she means. What do you think to what I thought about sending her?

happyman2012 said:

Thanks mate! Good to see another persons point of view.

I was begining to doubt myself, I read about women and ultimatums and that being persuasive is a better way I could have addressed it. I havent sent this though, I think I might do on Friday if i havent heard from her - that way it does leave the door open abit.

"You know, I had a thought today, and I think you should go. After all, we arnt together at the moment so I wouldnt be sacrificing my relationship boundaries, plus it'll be a good chance for us both to do our own thing. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head!

You definetly want to go, and my offer of going out together, having a great time like we did in the begining and possibly building a brand new relationship with the past behind us and changes made dosent seem to be worth not going to the races - something you could do any time, afterall the ticket is free and its something we could have done together in the future! Thats ok, I respect that. I would never force anyone to be with me or meet up and likewise I wouldnt want to be with anyone who put us so far down priority wise.

I only offered you what I did because you rang me and said thats what you felt you wanted and I thought we could do it. We got further on that phone call than we had in 6 months and it was a kind of "breakthrough" moment!

If you end up going - have a good time and win! I'd like to say maybe we could meet up in a few months time but I think things would be too far gone then. If you havent already done so, please can you take my name off the holiday. That reminds me, have a good time there too! I know how you wanted us to go as a little family me you and spike haha would have been a blast, especially keeping him from ****ting on ya uncles special lawn ha ha.

Anyway like I said to you when I saw ya, you feel like you wanna make this work then get in touch and we'll go out friday and forget the world! Ignore everyone else, this is about me and you. Where the lines drawn as to what is acceptable in our relationship is between us. Only you know what you truley want, I had a great time together either way.


(spikes the dog haha)

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I wouldn't send her this message as it's showing her that she is constantly on your mind and that you're unsure of yourself. (The bolded part especially)

Re-read Mauser96's post above and listen to it.

Hmm ok mate. I kind of think I should. from what i read ultimatums dont work. plus i told her not to contact me again, so even if she wanted to, she wouldnt, because I said not to. I think that if i sent that text message it would clear the air and open the lines of communication for the future. BTW, i wasnt overall nice or nice guy ish in the relationship, if anything i was TOO distant

Anyone else any ideas on it?

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