Starting over... Need to vent...

So... yeah. Been a while since I posted on here...

I'll summarize...

Got out of a 4 year with a Cluster B. It's been a year. She's since gotten engaged. Has been running around swinging all over town with her new fella. Once in a while I hear about it from others but have been pretty good about shutting them down before they get their gossip out to me. Sucks to hear about it but I broke it off because she's 5 years older than me (I'm 39) has like a hundred grand of debt, no job, an alcoholic/junkie, etc. Also ex stripper to explain the promiscuity. Some of it was fun but jesus she'd rage like hell at me and constantly do dumb crap. No long term potential. Definitely not for a family...

Had a rebound with another cougar. I know. Stupid right? But, she was smoking hot. We did that for too long probably... like 8-9 months and then I ended it because again... No long term potential. Again she's got a new guy already. It's not hard for the lookers to grab a new one after all. They're lined up around the block usually...

I do want a kid. Not concerned if me and the chick wind up happily ever after. As long as if we break up its amicable and with respect. Finding one that can be a good mom is my main thing. And I do want this... I dont want to be an older guy wishing he'd had a kid because now he's insanely lonely with no one to take care of him. Id also like to take care of a lil person... might keep me from being so self absorbed. Lol.

It's hard in this town. Despite being a major metro area me and these two gals run in very similar social circles. Trying to separate myself from that some but it's not easy since they are at so many social events. I think they realize their time is almost over and they're getting in as many kicks in as possible.

Fact is I screwed up. Let all my plates fall. Starting over from scratch and am feeling a bit rusty. Plus I've probably been partying too much which wacks out my brain chemistry. Much more prone to depression etc. Kind of feel alone right now... maybe that's for the best for a minute.

I made a list of women that have long and short term potential and I'm going to start making it happen... but just need someone to kick me in the face and say "You made these decisions for a reason." Need that kickstart. No cougars either. Not if I'm serious about this. Just been wasting time...

Also checking on seeing my therapist again. Need to vent. Not feeling right. Been slacking on gym. Winter's coming. Feeling slightly needy and that's not good. Even considering a move...

Anyway... thanks for letting me get this off my chest. That helped.

B!tches be crazy don't they?? Just pick up the pieces and move on man, sounds like you know the steps to get back on track as you described a lot briefly above. You know the crazy ones you described are only short term fun, so it shouldn't get you down. I usually go in knowing this and get out quick before the girl can really turn on their crazy to the extreme.
Just get back to being busy and have some fun with life. Screen those women and drop the ones that are crazy real quick and move on to finding some half decent ones.

No problem dude. That's what forums like this are for.

And good luck with things in the future.