Introduction/Problem Meeting Girl I Want

So I wanted to introduce myself to the board, I have been reading here for awhile and reading a lot of the Pook related articles, etc. I was going to start some sort of Journal on here to follow and update my progress, but before I did I wanted to let you guys know what some of my goals were and what issues I've been running into.

A little about me, I'm African American and 30 years old. I work in Finance with an MBA already done, and I'll soon be a Licensed CPA after I pass all four parts of the exam. I have a great car, live in a great apartment, etc.

I'm not on the beginning stages of "game" or anything like that, I have no issues going up to a GROUP of women and becoming the life of the party, getting numbers, one night stands, etc.

But I'm trying to get to a point of settling down and the type of chick I want is:

- Looks solid (maybe a 7 at least)

- No kids

- Has her finances together so she doesn't try to lean on me for those things

- One that loves me with high interest

What I keep getting as far as women that I get to move forward in terms of relationships, dates, sex, etc. are those that will fall in one of these categories:

1.) Looks Good and Good Interest Level

These chicks look GOOD or GOOD ENOUGH (to my standards) but have either kids and/or her finances aren't together, but her interest is pretty high.

2.) Finances Together and Good Interest Level

These chicks would have their finances together without kids but not be as attractive in the looks category, but her interest is pretty high.

3.) Looks Good and Finances Together, but Poor Interest

Then I'll find a chick that looks good or looks good enough, no kids, with her finances together, but her interest level is piss poor in terms of I will get her number but after talking on the phone/texting for a while it just doesn't move forward. Or after doing our little outing or date, it doesn't move forward.


I was thinking if perhaps my "standards" are too high and I should perhaps settle for a category 1 or 2 girl? What do you guys think? Also what do you guys recommend on what might be the reason why I'm not finding many women that have all of these four things in total?

I know I'm new to the forum, but I will be developing perhaps a Journal to post field reports, etc.

Problem is.....you are looking at this as lifelong. Long-term relationships don't last very long these days. You can think about every possible scenario, but it's still true that long-term relationships just don't last, no matter what you do or how good you vet.

What do you want out of life? If you want healthy kids, then you need to be with a woman that is healthy and fertile. Vetting is essential, but in no way fool-proof. Vetting is for success of the offspring here, not for you or for the relationship.

If you don't want kids, then do you really need to even be in a long-term relationship, ever?

Society has gotten so politically correct that men are forgetting what sex is all about. Stop believing what others are telling you about women and about relationships.

Robert California once said "There is only sex. Everything is sex. Do you understand that what I'm telling you is a universal truth?"

Read Evolution of Desire by David Buss and you'll see that the above statement is truer than you ever imagined. Learn what society has been trying to un-teach men for decades. Good luck!

Yes, that's what I want the long term relationship for, it's to raise the kids within.

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that I will NOT marry though, even with a structured Pre-Nup there's just too many holes that a good attorney can poke into to make it invalid. Reasons for not marrying is like you said, I do not see any way I'm going to be with one person (or they will be with me lol) for the rest of my life. I think the longest ANY relationship I can have will be 10-15 years max and that's pushing it. Plus, I believe that a true marriage makes the woman your "business partner" in everything, and I just can't have that EVER.

So my goal here was to find the woman I identified with the characteristics, and then try to do a 10 year relationship with her at least, and have her be the mother of my children. When the relationship ends I'm "praying" that me and her can work together to continue to raise the children while we move on romantically.

Recognize that this is a numbers game.

If you're really going to run a checklist on 'possibles', you may never find 'her'.

At your age, stage of life and career prospects, just go out and meet a lot of women.

^^^^This, "You must spread some reputation around"...

Have you read anti-dumps machine?

Don't lower your standards long term, but don't ignore the short term either. If a category 1 or 2 chick comes along, enjoy a short term thing with her while still looking around. Maybe she can become the right girl in the process.

One thing to add: don't overthink this. Life is fluid, and it seems you have some pretty cut and dried plans. But we are really bad and predicting what will make us happy in the future. Read "stumbling upon happiness" for insight on this topic.

Lowering your standard is the biggest trap you'll have to overcome.

A sub-7 girl with a killer personality and an ego-enforcing attitude will put herself in your crosshairs, say the right things, go along with whatever it is you want to do, and before you know it you've invested a considerable amount of time with her that it'd feel "wrong" to dump her, despite the fact she's picked up weight and the sex isn't as good any more.

My advice is not to bother with average girls.

It's not a bad thing to outline the basic things you want in a woman. However, you also need to make a list of things that are NOT ACCEPTABLE. I've dated women who fall into all your requirements, but finding one that has negative traits that I can tolerate is a nightmare.

You really need to date a lot of women to truly figure out what you want. You may find that the things listed on your requirements may not be deciding factors when choosing a mate. For instance, if you find a woman who fits your requirements, will you be able to tolerate her having multiple guy friends, being boring, having lots of tattoos, gone through with an abortion, or is addicted to video games?

The list of negative things is going to pile up quite quickly if you date lots of women. You need to figure out what is tolerable and what isn't. Suddenly, those requirements that you previously had become irrelevant due to the huge amount of women out there with extremely crappy traits.

And if you're looking for a woman to settle down with for the rest of your life, DO NOT SETTLE FOR MEDIOCRE. The woman you choose to spend the rest of your life with should be a reflection and a compliment to yourself.

Thanks guys and yes, I read Anti-Dump through the DJ Bible thing. A lot of the "game" stuff I'm all set on, the biggest issue I'm having is getting the girl that has everything I want in one package. What I have is that I'l have like 3 plates but collectively they have everything I want in one girl, I find that weird.

Another thing I'm noticing is this, and I want to know if you guys noticed this? The women that I have lined out with the no kids, decent career going, relatively attractive, they seem to be "stuck in the clouds" of some sort where their personality is shyt? I mean, it's like they want you to JUMP through hoops in particular, they seem to have these high standards that nobody can meet, and I'm a very blunt dude so I shut that down immediately. I'm also very flirty and these girls act like it's some "sin" to flirt or something, and urgh don't get me started on if they are Christian on top of all of this?

I'm wondering if for the long term relationship I want, if I should go to category 1 or 2? The issue with category 2 is I'm not all that attracted to her, and category 1 has baggage that I'm really not trying to build on TOP of if you know what I mean. Women with children are COOL for short term dating, fvcking, etc., but I'm not trying to build my legacy on that, I want to start my own legacy of children with a woman.

And thanks Desdinova I agree with that.

Wanted to update this thread. I think I'm going to continue to do the spinning plates and multiple dating for right now, just to see if the criteria I have set for the woman I want to "settle down and make kids with" is efficient.

I'm not looking to make my first child until 2017 anyway which is 3 years away. That's because right now I'm extremely busy but I will have my career structured in a way during that time to be able to put a focus on my children.

I never had a Father in my life and one of the driving forces behind me having children was to make sure I was IN their life and make sure that they didn't have to go through the things I did (homelessness, etc.).

Wanted to update this thread.

Still spinning plates, I work a lot so I do a lot of the online gaming with Match and POF, I don't just do online gaming though I also do in person things in a variety of places. But an example of this week:

- Noted a bunch of chicks late last week and on Monday on POF mainly, with a couple on Match

- Numbers Collected: 9

- Breakdown of the 9 Numbers: (I won't put the names of the people on the forum lol, I will just label them as Girl 1, Girl 2, and so on)

Girl 1: She's 32, no kids, finances/education good, looks are solid in my eyes, but she doesn't come off as she's "that interested" and instead appears as though she just dates a bunch of men, goes on dates with them and takes advantage of the free dates. I blasted her on the fact that I think she's acting like this, she confirmed it, and basically tried to go back off on me and I told her to fvck off. We deleted each other's number.

Girl 2: She's 25, no kids, but finances/education aren't good, looks are "ok" but not solid in my eyes, but her interest level is high as hell. I could have fvcked her already but I have been busy lol, I'm fvcking her next week. The only drawback is as I said, her looks aren't what I would consider to be solid and her finances aren't shyt, she's staying with her cousin right now.

Girl 3: She's 28, no kids, finances/education good, looks are solid in my eyes, but she didn't come off as interested at all for the most part, she wouldn't even do a solid telephone call, we texted the entire time. When I blasted her on this, she basically says, "Haha, you are ugly, I was just going to use you for a date" or something to that extent. We exchanged some childish like batter back and forth and I deleted and blocked her. Stupid bytch if you thought I was ugly why did you give me your number?

Girl 4: She's 23, has 2 kids, her finances/education wasn't that great, looks were "ok". So we texted like crazy, even exchanged highly flirty/freaky type of messages and pics (naked pics). We get on the telephone for 5 seconds and she's like, "hold on..." I wait awhile and hang up. Apparently she didn't like my voice or something, it's strange because most people say I sound decent on the phone and then I run into some that do this. Well, she's off.

Girl 5: She's 27, 1 kid, her finances/education are good, and looks to be are HOT as hell. So we been texting back and forth, she responds good to the flirty shyt, still open in the air about this one but I should know something on where she stands by the end of the weekend.

Girl 6: She's 34, no kids, finances/education are good, looks to me are solid. We been texting back and forth good, she responds "ok" to the flirty shyt, we did a telephone convo already. This one appears as though it could go "somewhere" but her interest appears to be MILD, like she's not highly interested but not low interested. I will keep pursing this one to see where it goes.

Girl 7: She's 23, no kids, finances/education are good, looks to me are solid. We had been texting back and forth "ok" but couldn't do a telephone call. When I blasted her about this, she just says, "I'm not interested." Well, that's done.

Girl 8: She's 31, no kids, finances/education are good, looks to me are "ok" but not solid. This one will most likely not go anywhere, we have been texting back and forth but her interest appears to be weak as hell or it's somethign wrong with her attitude.

Girl 9: She's 28, no kids, finances/education are good, looks are "ok" but not solid. Her interest level is pretty high, most likely going to fvck her soon.

To note, all of these are black women, I do prefer black women but I date all types of women. But as you can see here, the pattern is continuing where the girls that look good, with no kids and their finances/education together, I seem to can't break anything more than a MILD level of interest from them. These are the girls on paper that would fit everything I need IF THEY WOULD JUST have high interest.

Somewhere here mentioned Anti-Dump, I have read his shyt along with Pook's shyt. Anti-Dump doesn't believe you can manipulate a girl's interest level and I don't either. But guys....am I wrong?

> Girl 1, Girl 3, Girl 6 and Girl 7 all fit everything I needed but only ONE of them has MILD interest, no high interest, I always seem to get only to MILD interest at best from these types of women.

> Girl 2 and Girl 9 have the HIGHEST interest but doesn't fit everything else in terms of looks/kids/finances. With women like this, these are the only types of women I can get HIGH interest from.

> 5 of the Girls have solid looks and 4 of the Girls have ok looks, so it's not like I can't pull decent looking women for the most part.

This is what I KEEP coming across and have been coming across for a good number of years now. I wanted to make this thread WHILE doing another "number grab run" so you guys can see these results and offer any type of REAL suggestions.

I mean literally if Girl 1, Girl 3, Girl 6 and Girl 7 would have HIGH interest....I would be done in terms of finding a chick to do the long term stuff with.

I really don't care about a girls finances. You shouldn't either. A person can live very well on debt.

You should also consider having kids with a black woman unless you don't care about mix raced children. I'm white and I really wouldn't want black children. Not really a problem for me considering I'm mostly just attracted to white women. Very very rarely black women. Some times I'm attracted to spanish non white girls but I wouldn't want a kid with one. Things like this should be higher consideration than finances. I mean speaking of finances I'd be happy if my future wife was an heiress. But if she's in debt I could care less if she has bad credit I'd just tell her to not pay it off and get bad credit. I wouldn't offer to pay it off. Also she could be a gold digger in debt or not and I don't want a gold digger.

I met an amazing woman tonight. Submissive, caring and caters to every whim. The sad truth is, just like you; we are too young to settle and look for the one. Have fun out there, but understand that you are going to let a lot of good ones fall through the net. The women that you think are scarce, will turn out to be abundant. It's our young minds that trick us into everlasting companionship. It sucks, but ain't nothin' but a chicken wing.

The women that you think are scarce, will turn out to be abundant.

Click to expand...

Depends on what you define as "scarce". Girl I'm dating admits she loves to clean. She has a job cleaning, then she goes home and cleans her apartment, and then goes and cleans her parents' place. THAT is scarce.

Desdinova said:

Depends on what you define as "scarce". Girl I'm dating admits she loves to clean. She has a job cleaning, then she goes home and cleans her apartment, and then goes and cleans her parents' place. THAT is scarce.

Click to expand...

True, though there are a lot of nannies and related professions you have yet to meet.

I will post some updates to this thread and the girls I listed a little later on.

But I'm just conflicted on if I should create children at all? It's the only reason I have been somewhat looking to find this girl that fits what I want, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I'm wondering if I should do it at all?

The marriage thing is totally out, I would never do that.

But with the children thing, I mean the girl could literally change on you overnight and you think you have someone that is willing to work with you, but then she changes and now you are screwed in some way.

I don't know, it's one thing that's been consistent with women that I have been experiencing all of my life and it's that they AREN'T consistent. Their interest level ranges, you have women with high interest (supposedly) who act weird and women with mild interest who will sleep with you on the first night.

Creating children with any woman is a legal agreement, a business agreement of some sorts, and it's like why in the hell would anyone "willingly" enter into THAT type of agreement with these crazy ass people?

As mentioned I do a lot of Match and POF stuff, which works out great for dates and sex, don't get me wrong. But I'm talking about entering into an agreement for 18-20 years with one of these people to raise some kids and every rational and logical bone in my body says it makes no sense. I mean why are even most of these women on these sites? They aren't ugly, but they seem to all be saying they want to find this good/professional man, why is it that they haven't found this good/professional man in their own social circles?

I would really love some insights from you guys, it's why I started this thread so my thoughts could be posted and I could see what guys my age and above really thinks about this. Again, the marriage thing is off and I'm starting to think the kids thing should be off too, and I just continue dating/sexing until I drop dead. I don't want to do that though, I believe in leaving a Legacy here.

Any suggestions?

You are spending too much time texting these girls. Here's what to do.

Once they reply ask if they have any plans tonight.

If yes then ask what part of town they live.

When they tell you set up a meeting for a drink near where they live. You pick the time and place.

Done!

Only use text to set up dates.

Max,

I appreciate that but the issue isn't getting dates, the issue is why do I keep running into women that don't fit the requirements I'm seeking? Are my requirements too high?

I wanted to update this thread, have not done so in 2 months.

So, I keep getting the same thing. The girls that MOVE FORWARD with me and that I can sex/date are always in these categories:

Cat 1: She's unattractive in looks (maybe her face only or she's fat), but everything else would be there in terms of no kids, good career, educated and her interest level is high or medium.

Cat 2: She's attractive in looks, but there's something else off where she might have a kid, finances might be off or her interest level might be low to "low-medium".

Cat 3: She's unattractive and something else is off where might have a kid, finances might be off. Her interest level might be low to high.

The girl that I want, attractive, no kids, finances are on, interest level high, I CAN'T find.

I have been on this course I would say since 2011. I do not have the count for how many numbers I have received, converted to dates/sex, but I can tell you I have HAD to at least received about 90 numbers since 2011. That's 3 years. Majority of these have come from places like POF and Match, it's just more convenient for me to pull there because I don't have a lot of free time to waste pulling at clubs, bars, etc. Plus at clubs and bars I can't FILTER the women based on income, kids, etc. From those 90 numbers, again I'm not counting, but I had to at least have fvcked 30 of them and dated only 20 of them.

So the conversion ratio isn't too bad, I'm not a HANDSOME guy in my opinion lol, the girls say I'm "cute" or the "looks pass". I think I'm fun to be around to an extent to where I'm annoyed by something.

But the bottom line is, I can't find the girl I want and it's getting a little frustrating because I'm not sure what could be the issue here.

On top of this, I'm leaning more to NOT creating kids, which would mean finding the girl I want would be fruitless. The reason I'm moving MORE into that area, is just from the **** I have dealt with from women over the last 3 years. When we get into an argument or break up, the chick ALWAYS says:

- I never liked you
- Your dyck is little
- You are gay
- You were never that cute anyway

Then what were you fvcking me for? Why did you give me your number OFF A DATING website then for? If I was ugly and gay and all this, why didn't you block me?

It's always this shyt and I will be honest right now I just don't TRUST women (just like a lot of other women who can't trust women). So if I can't TRUST women, why in the hell should I TRUST that I can create two kids with a woman and she work with me to raise them efficiently? Marriage has already been TOTALLY ruled off, there's no way in hell I would ever do that. It's depressing because you know what, I would love to be a Father some day but will I even get that chance? I can go get ANY chick pregnant right now, but after she slaps me on child support will I even be able to Father a child I see once every 2 weeks?? I mean this shyt makes me depressed, angry, sad, all at the same time.

I'm glad I have this forum here to VENT and talk to other guys who have gone through this. I can't talk to ANY of the guys I know in "real life" who are around my age, you know why? Everything I'm saying they will just say:

- Stop whining
- Man Up
- Pick the fat girl, at least she loves you
- So what if she has kids, at least she loves you, Man Up
- Haha, you aren't getting laid dude, stop lying!

I mean it's just bullshyt all the way around.

Stop looking.

Stay busy with your life.

If you're not enough without a woman, you will never be enough with one.