Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Mid 30’s fall off, trying to retain what i had...

KingBeef

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2001
Messages
805
Reaction score
116
Location
Queens, New York
Hi guys, just wanted some feedback from anyone that has experienced this and recovered fully. In my twenties, I was fit, muscle bound and attracted a good share of women with my looks (not by being overly aggressive but charming and attentive, the good body always helped) As I entered my 30's and mid, I changed careers, barely go to the gym and although I'm not fat, I am not lean and I lost my muscle definition (this is all my fault and take full responsibilty)

You can call me narcissistic but I do miss the days I entered a club, lounge or whatever and had at least one pretty little thing turn her head when I entered the room. Now all I get is nothing or just the roll of the eyes like I'm disgusting.

I know my manhood and self worth is completely controlled by me but I do miss what I once had.

I feel like I can make a comeback and retain everything because one thing I have working in my favor is that believe or not I've aged pretty well and still look like I'm in my mid to late 20's.
If anyone has gone thru losing their attractiveness and physique and retained it all back at a later age, I would like to hear any feedback or stories from everyone, thank you.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,643
Reaction score
571
Location
monrovia, CA
I've been through something similar trying to focus on work, can't put the time in in the gym.

Really, the most efficent thing you an do is to focus 100% on your business and this is why.

Because when you have the resources, weight, as you know will come off like butter. When you can afford to eat right, when you afford the right supplements, when you can do all of that, getting in shape, with your knowledge, is a few months in the gym away.

The worst thing you can do is straddle the fence, not willing to give up either and getting neither the career you want nor the body you want.


When I was in HS I was 135-140. I'm 5'8 I'm not big naturally. When I was working really really hard i got up to about 205-210. It sucked but I did what i had to do.

When I could afford to hit the gym within 3 months or so I was pushing 165 and was the best shape of my life at the time, and I played high school basketball. Just 3 months with the right resources got me in tip top shape.


Just buckle down and do what has to be done.
 

the_stig

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2010
Messages
467
Reaction score
56
Location
Central Time Zone
I just turned 30, and to be honest, absolutely dreaded it.

The reality is though, that there is no reason why any man in his 30's or even 40's can't still turn heads. Look at some now middle aged celebrities.. Affleck, Pitt, Clooney, Hartnett, etc. You think the girls would roll their eyes if they breezed through the door? Are they too old and washed up for women? That would be a resounding no..

I went out with a 21 year old tonight, hell I was telling her "when I was your age" stories, and yet she couldn't text me fast enough after the date to tell me what a great time she had. Age is only a big deal if you make it one.

Getting back in shape all comes down to how much discipline you have. Diet is 75% of losing weight, so you don't need a gym to be lean. Count calories, cut back on sweets, and make time for cardio when you can. I'll often go jogging at midnight if I'm too busy during the day. Do what ya gotta do.

And remember the basic golden rules.. Women are more impressed if you are in good shape, nice wardrobe, don't act too weird, and are confident.
 

LiveFreeX

Banned
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
2,584
Reaction score
515
Location
The Wacky Races
Clubs suck now and very few people can dance... the last little bit of the rave scene was killed off mid 2005. I guess now dubstep is the big thing and weird ass skrillex haircuts. I like some dubstep but the people who listen to it are just sketchy and grunge as anything. Can't say I'm a fan of the fashion.
 

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,579
Reaction score
378
Age
64
Location
South Dakota
It's your attitude that is the problem, YOU don't think you are as hot.... so you aren't. I'm not NEAR my son's as far as looks, BUT I walk in the bar like I own it {yeah, I COULD buy it, now} and the little girls are eyeing me. Not like I want one my son's age... barely got HIM raised, not looking to raise a Girlfriend....

It's not like I'm obese, but I AM 15 lbs past hot. This year, I've had my butt grabbed, pinched, and my package grabbed by 3 different women in 3 different bars {one was a college "kiddie bar" that a friend and I went to have a burger at}
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,258
Reaction score
2,354
How does anyone not have the time to train?

20 mins a day ass busting in gym will yield good results, and diet control doesn't take time. Balanced meals can be obtained anywhere.

Brother, I just put on 20 pounds because of setting barriers, as you are. I can't succeed in my job without the well being of the gym. Your work will become easier if you're sharp and jacked on endorphins.

Trust me, don't bs yourself with the work excuse. You arent working 16hrs per day.
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,258
Reaction score
2,354
sodbuster said:
It's your attitude that is the problem, YOU don't think you are as hot.... so you aren't. I'm not NEAR my son's as far as looks, BUT I walk in the bar like I own it {yeah, I COULD buy it, now} and the little girls are eyeing me. Not like I want one my son's age... barely got HIM raised, not looking to raise a Girlfriend....

It's not like I'm obese, but I AM 15 lbs past hot. This year, I've had my butt grabbed, pinched, and my package grabbed by 3 different women in 3 different bars {one was a college "kiddie bar" that a friend and I went to have a burger at}
Fantasy land. Overweight 54 years old and young girls want your body? You must be in better shape than you let on, or a good looking guy. Attitude only works when they find you attractive. You do NOT see hot chicks dating fat ugly guys, only staying with fat guys who once were hot.

Every pound I lose makes a difference. 20lbs takes me from dates and one night stands to NOTHING! women are far much more like us than we like to admit. And the hotter they are the more superficial they are, usually.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
Bro you can definitely make a comeback but you've gotta want it. When i was in my long term relationship, i put on 80+ pounds, i was fat but husky with muscle under all that bodyfat but after a while i let go and got comfortable. My diet played a huge part and after a while of not working out and just getting so lazy, i looked like i was fvcking 40 years old. Unfortunately...or fortunately lol When my LTR ended, i got so shredded and drank monstrous bottles of water with a VERY clean diet and some supplements. Now i look like im in my mid 20's and in great shape although ive dropped off a little because of drinking but overall, you can definitely get back to your "old" self. It just takes discipline and dedication while seeing the bigger picture of what you want to look like in X amount of time. lose the fat and you'll feel better, younger, more confident and more energized. im 31 now and have went out with hot azz girls as young as 19 lol ;)
 

Demodulate

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2003
Messages
266
Reaction score
5
Get a strength & mobility coach, someone who follows Kelly Starrett or similar.

I had back (herniated disc) and shoulder (torn labrum) surgery in my 30's... I thought I was done after the shoulder, 4 months to hold a can of soup straight out kind of recovery. It was horrible. The back was way easier to get over.

I hired my guy about 9 months ago, and I am in the best shape of my life now.

I needed someone to push me out of my comfort zone, to get back what I had lost, to make sure I was doing it correctly.

I dont lift super heavy, but I do squats with full ROM, I can do multiple unassisted pullups from a dead hang now. deadlifts, squats, press, handstands, pullups, etc..

I stand up straight and tall now, my back pain is minimal, shoulder feels great. I could easily have a six pack if I quit drinkin booze.

if you can't afford a trainer check out his book.

"supple leopard" will teach you how to fix your injuries, and get back what you lost.
 

GotED?

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
829
Reaction score
99
Location
The Viagra Pill you wish you had...- United Kingdo
I am 41 and yesterday at London Heathrow airport a pretty thing was checking me out repeatedly before boarding the plane. I ran into her in Seattle airport at a totally different terminal (pure luck) after landing and later for connecting flight.

I approached her and start my charm on her, ended up talking with her for an hour. She thought I was 28yrs old, and she was 20 (I thought she looked much older LOL). I never disclosed to her my age, just had her talking and proving herself to me.

Well, almost robbed the cradle but the thing and nonsense about over the hill and too old. I am having the best game in my life at age 41. A lot boils down to experience (reading women correctly), courage to approach and act upon reading her positive signals (overcome fear of rejection), and having a tight game (charm, humor, and non-verbal seduction).

You make what you want best out of life at ANY age if you are willing to learn what attracts women. Start by getting a manly toned physique, and know how to dress with style and sexy shoes. It helps tremendously if you are genetically endowed with a full head of hair, tall, and look much younger than actual age. A youthful personality is just as important - consider it as a whole package as much as when you judge a woman.

Exodus
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,542
Reaction score
558
It has to be a lifestyle. You get out of shape because you make being out of shape a lifestyle. It's easy---just do nothing and eat what you want. That's the formula for being out of shape.

Once you re-establish that pattern of physical discipline it gets easier. Yeah, our metabolisms slow a bit and we don't recover like we used to in our 20's, but that's no excuse for not being in shape. No one gets out of shape by accident, and no gets IN shape by accident.

I think when you are older you have more self-acceptance, more confidence, and more experience in reading and charming women. Combine this with a good physique and the sky is the limit.

Women have a much bigger deficit to overcome. Once they have lost their youthful beauty, it's over for them. They have to marry or climb back down the ladder.
 

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,579
Reaction score
378
Age
64
Location
South Dakota
Well, they may not have been YOUR idea of a 8-10, but I AM partial to girls 5'10" ish. And since so many men are smaller than they are, they like a bigger man. I wasn't in the mood at the time. IF I was in the mood, I'd just ask them "if they like younger men, because my son would LOVE you. He's 6'2", 240... but he won't be 21 till may."

I've had a 28 yr old grab my phone and call her's so she had my number, drunk 21 yr old's lay their head on my shoulder while I was sitting by her, etc. BUT believe what you want. You can go without. It's really not my problem
 

KingBeef

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2001
Messages
805
Reaction score
116
Location
Queens, New York
Thank you guys for the feedback. One thing is for certain when I was in my best shape I was going to the gym at least 6 days a week with a workout buddy who would yell and get on my ARSE when I was slacking. Also, when I was seeing very good results, I would make myself go there (whether it was 30 minutes or 2 hours, an effective workout was still a workout)

He's now married and doesn't go to the gym as much but I can do it on my own. Just have to be very consistent and disciplined. I can make time to chase female tale, thus make time for my well being. Thank you again guys.
 

SteR

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
Messages
773
Reaction score
256
GotED? said:
I am having the best game in my life at age 41.
Is this true? I'll admit I was feeling a little anxious about approaching 30 yet the last couple of years have been absolutely ridiculous in terms of how easy it's been to get girls. I was worried it'd only last a few more years.. I'm always glad to hear guys are still finding it just as easy in their 40s and even 50s.

Granted I understand this all relies on the man taking excellent care of himself but still, it's great to hear... :up:
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,643
Reaction score
571
Location
monrovia, CA
KingBeef said:
Thank you guys for the feedback. One thing is for certain when I was in my best shape I was going to the gym at least 6 days a week with a workout buddy who would yell and get on my ARSE when I was slacking. Also, when I was seeing very good results, I would make myself go there (whether it was 30 minutes or 2 hours, an effective workout was still a workout)

He's now married and doesn't go to the gym as much but I can do it on my own. Just have to be very consistent and disciplined. I can make time to chase female tale, thus make time for my well being. Thank you again guys.

there are days I literally will go to the gym, swim 3-4 laps in the pool put on my clothes and come back home. Or go shoot 100 free throws and come back home. Just the habit of getting up and going to the gym in itself is the hard part. I don't ever want to break that habit.
 

Kailex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
2,082
Reaction score
192
Location
New Jersey
Every time I see another of these "30" posts, I go BALLISTIC. Why is there such a fear of turning 30? Or a mid-30's worry?

Guys, we don't have to worry about that. THEY DO.

Just because they have an expiration date, it doesn't mean we do. Turn it around. Go hit a gym. Go try to build up your personal reputation as the World's Most Interesting Man.

Best years of my life 30-33. And age 25.
By far, the world has unlocked to me in my thirties and I'm excited about the possibilities well into my 40's.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,859
Reaction score
8,562
Kailex said:
Every time I see another of these "30" posts, I go BALLISTIC. Why is there such a fear of turning 30? Or a mid-30's worry?
People tend to be nervous about hitting these milestones every decade - I know I was. It just so happens we have a lot of guys in their 20s on here. You're right though, in the case of the 30s at least, the fears are unfounded.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys have self limiting beliefs about their 30s. They think they won't be able to date a woman in her 20s anymore. Fact is, men can retain their SMV well into their 40s even.
 

SteR

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
Messages
773
Reaction score
256
zekko said:
People tend to be nervous about hitting these milestones every decade - I know I was. It just so happens we have a lot of guys in their 20s on here. You're right though, in the case of the 30s at least, the fears are unfounded.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys have self limiting beliefs about their 30s. They think they won't be able to date a woman in her 20s anymore. Fact is, men can retain their SMV well into their 40s even.
Just out of interest Zekko, when did you feel you peaked? (if at all - you may not have peaked yet). The SMV graph gets thrown around a lot but I'm curious as to whether the late 30s are really when a successful man shines the brightest..
 

GotED?

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
829
Reaction score
99
Location
The Viagra Pill you wish you had...- United Kingdo
SteR said:
Is this true? I'll admit I was feeling a little anxious about approaching 30 yet the last couple of years have been absolutely ridiculous in terms of how easy it's been to get girls. I was worried it'd only last a few more years.. I'm always glad to hear guys are still finding it just as easy in their 40s and even 50s.

Granted I understand this all relies on the man taking excellent care of himself but still, it's great to hear... :up:
YES SteR - I am having the BEST time of my life with women at age 41.

I am a late bloomer as well, and didn't understand GAME or DJ concepts until just a couple of years ago (was married most of my late 20's to late 30's) - so I am sure it would have even been better earlier perhaps.

HOWEVER - one caveat, as in my previous post - the 20yr old thought I was 28 or 29yrs old. I am CONSISTENTLY perceived to be around 32-34 yrs old in appearance, and it helps that I am 6'2" tall, quite broad shoulders/muscular lean and considered handsome by most women.

So PERHAPS when I am in my 30's, I would look like a 20-25yr old which women probably didn't find too attractive as I would still have a 'boyish' look. Now my appearance is maturing slowly into a man from the boyish look, perhaps that's where my strength is coming out.

I do have a few hurdles that are typical of men in their late 30's and beyond: I have been previously divorced, and also have a child. These are difficult variables to negotiate with women who are SINGLE and never been married nor have children. I have successfully had LTR with women who are single and never had children in their early to mid 30's in the past few years, it takes a strong game and magnetism to be able to get a woman to look beyond those hurdles but it can be done. But in the end, women in their 30's always FREAK OUT ABOUT THEIR BIOLOGICAL CLOCK and I end the LTR when they get too pushy about it all (marriage & kids).

You would have to determine how you are perceived appearance wise (and previous relationship status) - if you are on par with your age in appearance, then make it the best part of your game with women NOW than later (and learn game early on unlike me).

BE well.

Exodus
 
Top