How do you MM feel about neg hits as you get older?

I had an interesting conversation today. More like a confrontation. So I'm at eating lunch with my friend girl, she's a client of mine as well and we did some stuff for her site and we decided to grab a bite to eat to go over the stuff and just to eat lunch and hang out.


Anyway, so we are talking and she mentions to me that she got her income tax money and i'm like well what are you going to spend it on. She says well i am using it to pay for sugary for my nose. Now I don't really see anything wrong with her nose, it fits her body, and I tell her.. my exact words were


"seriously.. i don't see anything wrong with your nose, why would you want to fix it? your forehead on the other hand, you need to find a forehead reduction specialist" girl has a serious forehead lol. There is some high level **** going on inside that cranium lol. But **** I got a big ass forehead lol.


So she gets all defensive and now she is all sad and **** and i'm like look girl i would not joke with you like that if i didn't think you were pretty in the first place. The fact that you should have high self esteem in the first place is why i can joke with you lik ethat


but here is the thing. she doesn't have high self esteem. it's not low. but it's not really all that high.


My point being.. the above.. i don't even try to do that. that's not me hitting on her. that's me being backbreaker; the trained assassin.


It's like when I am dealing with a pretty woman in a casual setting my default instinct is to neg hit.


It's like, on some level, i expect her to understand that the fact that i'm negging you is a compliment in itself. I don't neg women who look like **** lol why make their lives worse lol.


But I mean, women have insecurities as well. This girl hates her nose. Hates her forehead. Hates the fact that she's not rail thin.. How much sense does it make as a dating practice to come in and play on her insecurities as a dating practice, and to the women that this actually works with, are they even worth the effort?


I mean, even with my wife, over the years we have a report and I defiantly have thicker skin than she does. IF I make a wise crack about her being really tall or just in general she gets really pissy, not mad but it changes her mood. she doesn't like it.


Just how prudent of a dating strategy is neg hitting? Even the girls that it works on, are these girls you want?


Neg hits work on the assumption that a woman has high self esteem and you are to knock it down, but why do we assume women have high self esteem in the first place? beucase we want to **** them lol? even if they do have high self esteem why would i want to lower it as a dating strategy?

I'm curious to hear your opinions

Jophil was an older guy, he used to say he liked to use negs, but that they should be used sparingly, like seasoning on a dish. A little bit goes a long way.

I don't intentionally use negs myself, although I notice that sometimes they come out. My frame of mind is that I like to tease attractive girls or sometimes kind of jokingly boss them around, just to show them that I am not intimidated by them. That's usually where I'm coming from. Sometimes in the course of teasing them, there may be a neg hit in there, but I'm not intentionally trying to neg. I'm not trying to hurt the girls by any means, I usually have a touch of humor in there to show I'm joking. My main aim is to show that I'm not intimidated by their beauty.

The kind of thing Mystery was doing wasn't exactly devastatingly insulting to the girls - "Your nails are fake? Oh, well, they're still nice". Not exactly hard hitting stuff. Supposedly he was doing it to "disqualify himself as a potential suitor" (which bought him some time to game her) as much as to knock her off of any pedestal.

"Sugary" for her nose haha. I'm in for the booger sugar.

Never neg on a trait that is not easily changed, like physical characteristics.

TyTe`EyEz said:

"Sugary" for her nose haha. I'm in for the booger sugar.

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LOL, when I read that I thought "sugary" was some kind of euphemism for coke.

Backbreaker, I don't consider what you said as a neg. It was too harsh to be playful. As Bible said, she can't easily change her forehead. I know she "opened up that line of questioning" by bringing up surgery, but making fun of physical appearance is dangerous territory. Negs are more like backhanded compliments.

E.g.:

Her: I might get surgery on my nose.

You: I like your nose. It reminds me of Jennifer Grey's back in the day.

Jennifer Grey was cute and had a distinctive nose. She wasn't a knockout. The "neg" is more like ambiguity. You're saying you like it (positive) but it reminds you of something of debatable objective beauty (neg).

samspade said:

LOL, when I read that I thought "sugary" was some kind of euphemism for coke.

Backbreaker, I don't consider what you said as a neg. It was too harsh to be playful. As Bible said, she can't easily change her forehead. I know she "opened up that line of questioning" by bringing up surgery, but making fun of physical appearance is dangerous territory. Negs are more like backhanded compliments.

E.g.:

Her: I might get surgery on my nose.

You: I like your nose. It reminds me of Jennifer Grey's back in the day.

Jennifer Grey was cute and had a distinctive nose. She wasn't a knockout. The "neg" is more like ambiguity. You're saying you like it (positive) but it reminds you of something of debatable objective beauty (neg).

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yeah that to me isn't even a neg. if i neg you, dammit you're gonna know you got negged. "damn girl you got some big f'n feet" is more along my lines of negging.

Bible_Belt said:

Never neg on a trait that is not easily changed, like physical characteristics.

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Yep. Neg hits are like the flip side of compliments. Never compliment on her looks, only her choices.

Neg hitting a girl on something she CAN'T control is pretty weak, IMO.

so basically i'm a prick lol

it's funny because you don't think of yourself as being a prick. It's not like "oh i'm going to be a prick" you think you are normal and people just aren't reacting to you like you think they should lol.

This is just how I joke around. Anyway yet somehow it works for me lol. Maybe women really do like jerks lol

Neg hit girls that have a well developed sense of humor. In other words, girls that you know without a doubt that can take it. I wouldn't use physical appearances as the source, but mishaps, faux pas, mistakes she made, bad experiences, clothes, her car/driving, etc.

I'm with zekko. I consider neg hits just off the cuff teasing. My flirting game hasn't changed much since kindergarten - what worked then still works today.

I negged a guy on the subway two days ago. He was eating when the rules clearly said not to. I told him it was cute that he was breaking the rules and getting crumbs all over my seat. When he wouldn't stop, I flipped him the bird and my wife went to town on him.

fvker called my wife stupid and then curled up into a ball and threatened to call the police.

Negging in the 30's.

LiveFreeX said:

I negged a guy on the subway two days ago. He was eating when the rules clearly said not to. I told him it was cute that he was breaking the rules and getting crumbs all over my seat. When he wouldn't stop, I flipped him the bird and my wife went to town on him.

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That's not negging, that's being an jackass. Had you handled that without your alleged 'neg', he might have quit eating or moved to a different seat, in which case it's not your jurisdiction any more.

At any rate, perfect example of why negs must be used carefully.

TyTe`EyEz said:

My flirting game hasn't changed much since kindergarten - what worked then still works today.

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This is the attitude that has been working for me too. Innocent playground teasing and bratty little sister. Easy to get your head around.