Ned advice... Don't want to drop her...

Ugh. I'm seeing many plates... But there is one that is...

She's got it all. She's sweet, pretty, has a real job, doesn't do drugs, laughs at all my jokes, and no entitlement issues.

But...

Damn. We've gone out on like five dates and she's INCREDIBLY reserved. I mean damn. We've never gone past making out. I mean I'm getting laid with other women but they don't have the long term characteristics I want and she does.

Last night I couldn't help myself. I said I'm not sure if I'm the guy you want. She got upset as she thought things were going so well. We were hanging with her friends and it was okay, but I was getting bored with it. Just very unaffectionate. Holding hands and all but I'm like???

She even said she was planning on having sex with me that night but I think that was a line. When I expressed my wants she said I'm not her bf. Fine. I'm talking about kissing!

This is... Unusual for me. I don't have to wait typically. I don't know. I didn't mind waiting for a while as she has so much of what I want.

Night ended weird. Just kind of a goodbye. I think she's got some abandonment issues and doesn't typically date. I know I'm not a therapist. Just wondering if I should stick this out and see what happens or next her...

Is she a virgin?

No?.....then understand she has been banged mercilessly, sucked c0ck, swallowed goo, done doggy and maybe even had a thumb up her bum....only a virgin is worth holding out for. If a great girl has been previously violated, her star can never have the same twinkle, especially when you know another guy has sprayed her with chromosomes.

That said, you can go "slower" if her notch count is very low and she is selective.....but never pedestalize her.

My advice is to stick with her, your spinning plates and getting laid and this is the one you want. I don't usually sleep with a woman I'm dating until after the 3rd date. I'm in the same boat, I'm spinning plates, but I like one a lot, I don't care how long it takes for me to sleep with her, within reason. I really like her as a person, I think she is worth the effort. Maybe your girl hasn't had sex with many men because she wants to make sure the guy really likes her before she has sex.

Hang out more, gather more evidence. I, initially think it's a very respectable thing when I girl is reserved, even if it comes from a place of damage. They're protecting themselves rather than just going out and being empty/rebellious. Do your due diligence and don't knock her for maybe valuing the amount of guys she lets in (pun intended).

If you enjoy hanging out with her and you don't get the feeling that she's playing you, what's the problem? You don't have to live by a rule that says you have to bang her by date 3. You have other girls for that! Just go with the flow.

I know what's going on in your head, you want to know exactly where you stand with this chick. I've made that mistake, but caught myself in time. Let her wonder about the same thing about you. The funny thing is that she IS! She is thinking and probably hinting, you just have to listen to her when she uses words like "we", "us", talks about future, what she wants her life to be in 2-5 years like (romantically, of course)

Dear Johnie,
"She even said she was planning on having sex with me that night but I think that was a line. When I expressed my wants she said I'm not her bf. Fine. I'm talking about kissing!"...Who is this Bird,Nell Nun,the Nun that never got none?
Having said that,I suppose it depends if you want to settle down and have Kids,if you don't then move on...If you do,then you should be reasonably certain that no one else will get in her pants!

She even said she was planning on having sex with me that night but I think that was a line. When I expressed my wants she said I'm not her bf. Fine. I'm talking about kissing!

She holds the cards.
She knows you want her poosy, and she is making you work for it like a little bytch. Will the wait be worth it? Will letting her cut your blu-balls off be worth it while you wait for her 'wondrous' poosy?

She's sending mixed signals which is low to no interest.

OP, pull back or go ghost. If she's not giving you what you want or feel she's controlling you, drop her.

Case closed.

Women are emotional creatures....and if the right emotions were there for you, she would have acted on them! This is true the majority of the time.

However, out of all the girls I've been with, there were only 2 who held out on me and it wasn't because the emotions weren't there and I didn't do the right things. One I ended up finally fuhking, I think she felt guilty and knew I was on my way out unless we had sechs. The other I gave up on after 3months of seeing each other from time to time.

These girls were both party girls in there 20's who had an easy life financed by wealthy men. But in there 30's the effects of the party girl lifestyle caught up with them mentally. They had used men to get what they wanted and men had used them. They never had "real" relationships. Eventually they end up jaded and afraid of connecting with men on deeper levels for fear of getting hurt.

These girls also knew what I was about and that caused some apprehension on their part. I was just looking for a good time with a hot girl. If we connected great and maybe the relationship could go further, if not that was fine too was how I looked at it.

But due to their past experiences they were afraid to end up in a similar position they spent most of their 20's in.

You can learn a lot from a persons past.

Just have fun with her, it sounds like you met a nice girl, one who likes to date. Not like these sluts who spread their legs for anyone. You already have other plates to do the dirty, keep her around til your both ready.

Bang it out with the sluts, but stick with this one for a longer term potential. If she just isn't sexual and is a dead fish in bed, it'll frustrate you to no end, and you'll still be unhappy. A girl's gotta have the right balance between sexy and safe.

Give it a bit of time, and make sure you get yer nutz drained so you don't go ballistic....yet.

Keep us posted.

WHY would you expect a girl who is "different enough" for you to think Long term relationship be the same sexually as the "bar sluts"? IF you aren't making progress sexually, then drop her. Just don't expect the same timeline....

Have all of you forgotten about sexual frustration?
First of all the poster is too needy and is definately ULTRA beta.

"Last night I couldn't help myself." (Women don't give it to needy guys)
"I said I'm not sure if I'm the guy you want." (Why would you even pant this in her mind?)
"She got upset as she thought things were going so well." (You created unnecessary confusion)
"When I expressed my wants she said I'm not her bf" (Never express your wants, you show you are needy again)

Getting puzzy from sluts can throw you off your game, but judging from your actions you don't know how to play the game in the first place.
You already have screwed up your chances, and everyone experienced knows once you fcuk up, good luck getting your frame back.

The ball is in her court, either wait it out like a beta or be a man and find a better quality girl and play it right.

he must have other prospects...or not really care about her....

but he did make the post....

sometimes....i change my mind about girls after 30 minutes....

whos to say?

but OP should act like a man at all times....


THATS THE LESSON HERE....YOU ARE NOT A BOY...YOU LEARNED MANY LESSONS AS A BOY.

unless you act like these clueless dudes that get passed on....and you can make my next IPAD

Big Nuts said:

Is she a virgin?

No?.....then understand she has been banged mercilessly, sucked c0ck, swallowed goo, done doggy and maybe even had a thumb up her bum....only a virgin is worth holding out for. If a great girl has been previously violated, her star can never have the same twinkle, especially when you know another guy has sprayed her with chromosomes.

Click to expand...

Lol, crass, but true.