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Old 02-29-2012, 04:35 PM   #1
abcd_z
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How to have a 100% DRAMA-FREE Relationship

I was posting on a site today that is very Politically Correct. You can't advocate Nexting a woman for poor behavior, because that's unfair and manipulative. Bleh.

I was going to re-post what I said there, about zero-drama relationships and what they have in common. And I will, at the bottom of my post. But the truth is, you only need one word: Next.

A Next can reset the relationship. More importantly, it can train her to treat you well. If she gets cut out of your life every time she throws a tantrum or argues your leadership, you can bet she'll either learn fast or stay gone.

Either way is a win for us: if she doesn't treat you as well as you deserve in a relationship, she's not worth your time and effort. And if she can be taught to behave herself around you, then the problem is gone.

Win/win. :)



Quote:
I've heard it said by numerous people that there will always be drama in relationships (bf/gf, husband/wife, etc.)

I've seen relationships that have drama (most of them), and I've seen a small handful of relationships that never have any drama, ever. The common threads in these rare zero-drama relationships are:

* There is always a clear definition of who is responsible for what. It can range from a typical 50/50 split to a Dom/sub-type relationship, but a task itself and the related sphere of responsibility always belongs to one person or the other, and the other person does not try to interfere.

* Having a relationship with no drama is more important to at least one of the members than having the relationship itself is. Many people will prioritize the relationship itself above and beyond anything else, which means they will accept any level of drama or unhappiness as a sacrifice on the altar of the relationship.

* The participants place very few rules on each other. The more rules people have, the more likely it is that one of them will get broken, and that generally causes drama. The few rules that remain tend to be ones that are important enough to end a relationship over.

As a side-note, I have one of those few drama-free relationships. It rocks. :)
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:23 PM   #2
pdx1138
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I've had the fortune of dating a drama-free girl the last 3 months.

She herself, told me she hates it and avoids it at all costs.
When she told me, I thought I'd believe it when I see it.
Sure enough she is.

It's a nice change! The last one I had was mostly drama and so tiresome.
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Old 03-04-2012, 07:50 PM   #3
Nik TPT
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I still think it's impossible to have a drama free relationship.
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:25 PM   #4
reBourne
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Drama is subjective. All women crave emotion/drama in the relationship in some form. They need it as part of their life. They are emotional creatures.

Don't try to eliminate drama from your relationship. Let her take care of it. Focus on having something worthwhile to fulfill in your life, that is what every man should focus. Take the lead and she'll follow.
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Old 03-09-2012, 08:21 AM   #5
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I'm currently with a pretty solid girl, but she is still an emotional woman therefore drama rares its head every now and then. However, I take the lead and do a lot to set the expectations of what behavior will be accepted and what will not and she actually appreciates this.

After the first time she got mad and left, I let her know that if she ever did that again, that it would be the last time. I wouldn't take her back. Guess what, I don't have that type of drama anymore. You can't be afraid to lose a girl because when you do, you will start accepting poor behavior. She knows I'm a man of my
word so she is well aware I will follow thru with my words. I'm a man, not a woman........my words become my actions.


Drama is subjective. All women crave emotion/drama in the relationship in some form. They need it as part of their life. They are emotional creatures.

Don't try to eliminate drama from your relationship. Let her take care of it. Focus on having something worthwhile to fulfill in your life, that is what every man should focus. Take the lead and she'll follow.


This is some solid advice here. I was in a 15year relationship where there was never any drama. Yes it was nice not having to deal with the drama, but a little drama is healthy for a relationship. Its helps two people feel connected once the dust settles. It lets each other feel there is passion. A woman has got to have this because when she doesn't, she'll think she doesn't have "feelings" for you any more and go looking elsewhere! Trust me on that one.
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:33 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pdx1138
I've had the fortune of dating a drama-free girl the last 3 months.

She herself, told me she hates it and avoids it at all costs.
When she told me, I thought I'd believe it when I see it.
Sure enough she is.

It's a nice change! The last one I had was mostly drama and so tiresome.


Same situation here. The girl I'm seeing is a little more aloof than others, we don't chat or text every day, but there have been no mind games. No hot and cold or push and pull, and it feels so refreshing and healthier than previous girls I've dated.

It leads me to the conclusion that I've just been going for the wrong types.
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Old 04-05-2012, 08:59 AM   #7
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So what traits to drama free girls have in common?

From my experiences, I'd have to say the most drama free girls I've been
with were always very secure with themselves.
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Old 05-27-2012, 11:37 AM   #8
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Only way I've had drama free relationships is by not being in a relationship at all.
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Old 09-16-2012, 02:23 PM   #9
HeadLightsOn
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No drama at all = LTR death.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Howiestern
I was in a 15year relationship where there was never any drama. Yes it was nice not having to deal with the drama, but a little drama is healthy for a relationship. Its helps two people feel connected once the dust settles. It lets each other feel there is passion. A woman has got to have this because when she doesn't, she'll think she doesn't have "feelings" for you any more and go looking elsewhere! Trust me on that one.

I totally agree with this. "Drama free" can be really dangerous. In my experience, in an LTR, if there is NO drama, then that girl will likely look at wandering or breaking up etc.

Why? Because there is no drama, that is the very thing that will split you apart.Boredom, mundane, too safe - these can all be thoughts that go through a woman's head.

Women really do have to have those 'feelings' reaffirmed. And one of the ways to do this is what I call "constructive drama."

For instance, here are two brief scenarios:

1. You are in an LTR. No drama. At all. Woman thinks things are too predictable. Too boring. She starts to 'wonder' if she has feelings for you. That seed is planted. It will grow, and at some stage, the relationship may fail. If things are too easy, too cruisy and too mundane, this will translate to a woman as non appealing, or passionless.

2. You are in an LTR. Little drama. However you make sure that there is enough friction - in certain situations - that lead to some type of -

disagreement-discussion-conflict resolution-make up

scenario between you both. Not a full blown argument. Not over a trivial matter. But over something that your woman has to think about, discuss, and go away knowing that you will call her on certain types of behaviour/emotion/scenarios.

I've been through this and I know it to be true. You still keep your DJ principles of course, but orchestrate or guide the odd bit of friction within your relationship.

Hope this touches base with someone.
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Old 09-16-2012, 02:47 PM   #10
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a little drama, now and again, is healthy, if you can control it, you can use it to your advantage. after all, makeup sex is awesome, it all depends on how you handle the drama though
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