Getting a girl to leave her emotionally abusive BPD boyfriend for me.

This is a bit of an odd issue.

There is a girl I'm interested in who is a member of another forum that I'm in.

I've been talking to this girl for a while, almost over a year but dropped off contact when I got a girlfriend. We live at most a couple of hours from each other.

About two weeks after my GF dumped me, this girl got a boyfriend, the first one she's had in about three years. Right away they got into an insta-relationship and they've been together for about four months.

Here's the thing, on the forum she's made about four threads talking about the weird shit that this guy is doing to her. and her worries He goes hot and cold, tests her all the time, goes dark for days, accuses her of cheating, tells her he wants to see her blow another guy, yet apparently he's super sweet to her and does all these kind things. He's already proposed to her, and wanted to get married the next day, but she turned him down.

Everybody on the forum is telling her that he's crazy, that he's emotionally abusive and that she should leave him. At least 50 people have told her to dump him. But she won't. She has low self-esteem, thinks he's the best boyfriend she's ever had, that he's so sweet etc.

I'm pretty sure that this guy has BPD at least, and subconsciously doing push/pull on her and she's just eating it up. This guy is going to break her.

She knows I'm interested in her and we've been continuing to message each other. I'm being supportive without getting involved in her life.

Is there anything I can do to get her to leave him, and at least go on one date with me?

She's pretty much my ideal woman in looks, personality and interests. I deeply regret not making a move on her when she was single.

Any girl that continues to date a guy that treats her like crap is not a girl I'd want to date. No one is forcing her to date his crazy @$$. It's not too difficult to say "you know what, you aren't for me, take your bvllsh!t down the road". She doesn't do that though, she continues to date him. Why? She LOVES the attention she's getting from her friends, even though it's negative attention it's STILL attention. The moment all that stops and her friends stop hanging around her, I bet she'll all of a sudden be single. Trust me, you don't want to have anything to do with this girl.

can you guys just forget about bpd? you have no idea these people have it. she will ony leave him if she wants to, you can't make her leave him. he can't be that bad of she's still with him. 2 hours? find a girl closer to you who's single with less drama, that's being desperate.

Dude this is a teachable moment in your life.

1. You can't just target a chick to fall for you..well you can and good luck with that. A hundred times easier to do the anti-dump thing.
2. This woman can show you what a quality woman isn't.

Walk away or learn a tough lesson. Your choice.

You will get eaten alive. This ain't a Disney movie pal. Here is an example of a guy who attempted to white knight for some girl who had a psychopathic boyfriend and got shot for his troubles.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Melbourne_CBD_shootings

I think that she's still with him because she has super low self-esteem. Yeah that is a turn off about her, but she has a lot of other great qualities. She's also written a lot about the sexual stuff she does, and frankly she seems a lot more wild than my ex was.

One thing I want to point out was that I got my ex (and only) girlfriend by getting her to leave her BF for me. If I was able to see this girl in person, I'm pretty sure I could work on her.

Yeah the distance is an issue. But I still want to try.

Trying again to see if anybody has any idea of what I can do with her.

Dadude548 said:

Trying again to see if anybody has any idea of what I can do with her.

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you can't make her leave the guy if she doesn't want to, she has to do that on her own. if you keep pushing her to leave him, you will chase her away to where she won't leave him. people have to find out on their own that it's not working. you telling her makes it harder for you. let her get her fill of the guy, sounds like he's doing a good enough job ruining it already.

Mauser96 said:

Asa-don, I see you chose option 2.

The one where you continue to argue and make a fool of yourself.

Onto the ignore list you go.

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you refuse to explain why you don't want to know the facts instead of assuming bpd. way to run and hide, good job!

Mauser96 said:

Asa-don is an expert on BPD, perhaps he can help?

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lol, i want to know the truth, you just want to assume so you can feel better about yourself.

Mauser96 said:

Asa-don? Any advice for this fellow?

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asa_don said:

you can't make her leave the guy if she doesn't want to, she has to do that on her own. if you keep pushing her to leave him, you will chase her away to where she won't leave him. people have to find out on their own that it's not working. you telling her makes it harder for you. let her get her fill of the guy, sounds like he's doing a good enough job ruining it already.

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what do you call this? where's your advice? read him something off your website you claim to be true. lol

asa_don said:

you can't make her leave the guy if she doesn't want to, she has to do that on her own. if you keep pushing her to leave him, you will chase her away to where she won't leave him. people have to find out on their own that it's not working. you telling her makes it harder for you. let her get her fill of the guy, sounds like he's doing a good enough job ruining it already.

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Yeah I realize that. With virtually the entire forum telling her to dump him, she just got overwhelmed and withdrew.

I've backed off from her and am no longer part of the noise.

Right now I'm just waiting till he does another stupid thing, should be any day now.

The main problem is her low self-esteem. She says that he's the only guy that's been nice to her in six years. That he's the best BF she's ever had. Girl has no idea.

Abandon Mission...

Dadude548 said:

Trying again to see if anybody has any idea of what I can do with her.

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You do nothing, but find another girl. This guy"s the shiznit, man. He's giving her a ride on every emotional roller coaster in FunLand! Why the hell would she leave him? He's fun, he's got a kinky side, and she's having the time of her life trying to figure him out (exciting), while pseudo-complaining on a forum (obsessed). He' ain't goin anywhere, and her taco is tingling like a Geiger counter in Fukushima.

Time for you to move on and start your own soap opera.

VladPatton said:

You do nothing, but find another girl. This guy"s the shiznit, man. He's giving her a ride on every emotional roller coaster in FunLand! Why the hell would she leave him? He's fun, he's got a kinky side, and she's having the time of her life trying to figure him out (exciting), while pseudo-complaining on a forum (obsessed). He' ain't goin anywhere, and her taco is tingling like a Geiger counter in Fukushima.

Time for you to move on and start your own soap opera.

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This. This. This. Muhahahahahaha



Edit:
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to VladPatton again.

VladPatton said:

You do nothing, but find another girl. This guy"s the shiznit, man. He's giving her a ride on every emotional roller coaster in FunLand! Why the hell would she leave him? He's fun, he's got a kinky side, and she's having the time of her life trying to figure him out (exciting), while pseudo-complaining on a forum (obsessed). He' ain't goin anywhere, and her taco is tingling like a Geiger counter in Fukushima.

Time for you to move on and start your own soap opera.

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When you put it that way, it makes me wish I was crazy like him.

Fucking women

Dadude548 said:

When you put it that way, it makes me wish I was crazy like him.

Fucking women

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Just because he puts women on giant emotional roller coasters subconsciously doesn't mean he's happy or healthy.

Means the exact opposite actually.

His whole life is probably an emotional rollercoaster and hes just taking her for the ride. Guy sounds like a full blown lunatic

dutchmaster said:

Just because he puts women on giant emotional roller coasters subconsciously doesn't mean he's happy or healthy.

Means the exact opposite actually.

His whole life is probably an emotional rollercoaster and hes just taking her for the ride. Guy sounds like a full blown lunatic

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I can attest to this. With them, the highs are cocain like, but inside they are just emotionally stunted miserable little children. The suicide rate in the clinical samples is 5-10 percent, 400-800 times that of the general population. Mine had serious suicide idealization, despite having a daughter, so trust me, it's not fun.

OP, you are a moron. sorry, it had to be said.
there's this guy not giving a fk, in the meantime doing your dreamgirl
there's this girl who has a boyfriend, and a beta orbiter waiting to feed off the scraps like the vultures waiting for the lion to leave them some rests.
and there's you. a clingy spineless beta, who is labeling a guy BPD just because he knows how to play the emotion strings with a low quality girl, she is getting all the attention she want. she can play the victim on a forum, and get support, has an exciting relationship, and has his beta white knight wannabe waiting for an opportunity to put her on a pedestal.
sorry if you feel offended, but it had to be said.

forget all this nonsense and find yourself a good girl. even is she will leave him, and you will "have your opportunity" you can bet your as she will be sooking all his man juice when she is not with you. girls need drama to feel good. he gives it to her. you don't. and you shouldn't.

Dadude548 said:

Yeah I realize that. With virtually the entire forum telling her to dump him, she just got overwhelmed and withdrew.

I've backed off from her and am no longer part of the noise.

Right now I'm just waiting till he does another stupid thing, should be any day now.

The main problem is her low self-esteem. She says that he's the only guy that's been nice to her in six years. That he's the best BF she's ever had. Girl has no idea.

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she's into this guy and she isn't going to leave him now, her low self esteem is what attracts her to him. why would you want a low self esteem girl? those girls are full of drama and insecurities. find someone better, not 2 hours away. you will waste your time for months on this girl, she will still be with him.

dutchmaster said:

Just because he puts women on giant emotional roller coasters subconsciously doesn't mean he's happy or healthy.

Means the exact opposite actually.

His whole life is probably an emotional rollercoaster and hes just taking her for the ride. Guy sounds like a full blown lunatic

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Oh he's definitely a lunatic, but he's the one who has her.

With the way women work, isn't taking them for a ride the best thing a guy can do to keep her addicted?

asa_don said:

she's into this guy and she isn't going to leave him now, her low self esteem is what attracts her to him. why would you want a low self esteem girl? those girls are full of drama and insecurities. find someone better, not 2 hours away. you will waste your time for months on this girl, she will still be with him.

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Because she's a very attractive nerdy/gamer girl who tries her absolute hardest to be the best GF that she can be. The things she does for this guy is crazy, and he treats her like trash, which she's too blind to realize.

As for wasting my time with her, since she is still online only, I'm putting very little time and energy into her. I'm still pursuing other women.

Like The Batman Says

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