"I want to take it SLOW"

I have seen this written about before on this here, and read about it in The Rational Male. I think I know my answer, but looking for advice on this particular situation.

I met this hb6.5 or 7 from match:

-go on first date, dance karakoe, makeout, part ways. Both had good fun.

-second date, she drives 45 mins to my place for dinner and movie. We make dinner, watch movie, I escalate as hard as I can, work through LMR several times, back and forth but to no avail. Only got dry humping and feeling through clothes. No clothes come off. She eventually says she has to go and take care of her dog. I go to bed with blue balls.

Now I was planning on just ignoring this girl and pursuing others. Maybe try for date 3 at her place later and escalate again.

I get a text from her today asking if I had her sweatshirt, and saying "hopefully you want to see me again".

I respond with: "sure, whats you week look like"

She responds:
"im free bla bla bla"

I agree to a time.

And she adds:
"and, I think you probably got this on friday, but I want to take it SLOW so I hope thats ok with you"

I feel like I've been trapped. I agree to a date, then she tells me she doesnt want to bang.

I teased her some and said "just to let you know, i dont put out until at least 10 dates"

she says
"well i guess I can wait, I am more like a 7 date kind of gal"

Now, mind you, this girl has told me she partied hard in her early 20's (she is 30) and did coke and such. That itself does not bother me, but you know partying hard=banging dudes with reckless abandon. Again, no problem except now you want to make me wait?

Should I just eject now? I am actively pursuing other girls as well, but was hoping to keep her in the rotation. Do I go to her place for date 3 and proceed like I never got that text?

I need insight.

Thank you.

Keep pushing. If she doesn't respond then move on. Simple.

yea, that is what I'm thinking. Trying to not let it insult me.

you know how when you on the main forum page and you see the sub forums and this topic was first and it said "I want to take it" and I just knew the next words were "in the ass" lol

backbreaker said:

you know how when you on the main forum page and you see the sub forums and this topic was first and it said "I want to take it" and I just knew the next words were "in the ass" lol

Click to expand...

i would have much rather had her say that to me!

Man, this is difficult territory - is she trying to play games or is she a quality woman??

My previous French GF of over a year together said this to me as well. But my strategy towards women are also opposite of you - I make the woman wait for the kiss and secks, but you followed typical DJ approach of escalating fast and hard (which makes you vulnerable to losing your frame to her when she blocks secks or gives cheek kiss only).

My EX and I didn't have secks until 6-8 weeks into it. This is fine for me as she was characteristic of a very cautious and suspicious (anti player) nature.

You have to use all your experiences and intuition to see if she is worth a LTR pursuit.

Good luck.

Exodus

backbreaker said:

you know how when you on the main forum page and you see the sub forums and this topic was first and it said "I want to take it" and I just knew the next words were "in the ass" lol

Click to expand...

LOL. Yeah there's a difference with "I want to take it slow" and "Let's take it slow"

Let's take it slow - "she needs more time to know you better" crap ;-P

I want to take it slow - She wants the D, but wants you to be slow :rockon:

For Christ's sake man...Just tell her "Don't worry babe, I'LL BE GENTLE", and then when your c0ck is inside.. be slow at first... Then fvck her in the ass like you just got out of prison. LOL

There's a better man in the picture that she wants, but can't get. Would she take it slow with Brad Pitt? Hell no.

She's trying to control the frame. Just drop her and go for another woman.

AFAIC, Taking it slow is a REJECTION.

Case CLOSED.

Another thread, another man who takes a woman on her "word".

She's telling you she wants to take it slow, but what she's really telling you is that if you f*ck her tonight it was all down to you (removing her responsibility). She's in her 30s, used to "party hard", has probably had numerous f*cks and ONSs, so she's guilty and is already justifying what's about to go down.

Either that or she thinks your the provider type and she wants to settle down by saying her ***** is off limits...she's an easy f*ck IMO.

nismo-4 said:

There's a better man in the picture that she wants, but can't get. Would she take it slow with Brad Pitt? Hell no.

She's trying to control the frame. Just drop her and go for another woman.

AFAIC, Taking it slow is a REJECTION.

Case CLOSED.

Click to expand...

yup nice to see NISMO still here feeding these folks the quick simple reality they need too hear.. he his 10000% right she is no that into you and does no want to get involved since she has her eyes on other prizes

she absolutely wants me to wife her up, she drops hints and signs all over the place. Not interested in that.

MtnMan said:

she absolutely wants me to wife her up, she drops hints and signs all over the place. Not interested in that.

Click to expand...

don't ever do that ****

This is a typical game that women who want to secure a man for a LTR/Marriage like to play especially when they are in their late 20s and early 30s. Period.

The best thing to do is to Flake on her ass and then go ghost and don't chase her but focus on other more interested plates. Let her chase you and if she don't. So what? there are millions of better women than her right around the corner.

you must always do what is best for your interest and don't give people more than they deserve. always make time for people who make time for you and who seem as interested in you as you in them.

as a side note: the moment you stop caring about sex (having an abundance mentality/having plates) is the moment you strip women from all their powers

and remember: Don't Chase, Replace!

A lot of the time being a DJ means you look/act like you have no trouble getting women. What's the response if your plate withholds the po0n saying 'I don't wanna be 'that girl', especially if I'm not the only one'? I've gotten that once or twice -,-

j.619 said:

A lot of the time being a DJ means you look/act like you have no trouble getting women. What's the response if your plate withholds the po0n saying 'I don't wanna be 'that girl', especially if I'm not the only one'? I've gotten that once or twice -,-

Click to expand...

The cold fact is that a lot of guys who are really good with women naturally lead girls on. They have the girl on the cusp of thinking there is a future. The girls know what the guys like but they are willing to forget it if they think they can bag a guy like that. You see it time and time again, girls committing to guys who have no real intention of staying true to them. It's one of those dark things you learn in game but girls believe a lot of the crap you tell them if they like you, you can really screw with them.

Espi said:

"Maybe you should avoid me then. I don't want you feeling used. No worries either way. I like you and just want to enjoy our time together."

Or, you can just ignore the comment altogether. You don't HAVE to respond.

Click to expand...

In the most recent case, I did ignore the question, but still got no pvssy after a couple attempts. She's a couple years older than me, so I figured maybe she's been played a few times in her day... and is damaged. No big, just an awkward position to be in.

Mr Wright said:

The cold fact is that a lot of guys who are really good with women naturally lead girls on. They have the girl on the cusp of thinking there is a future. The girls know what the guys like but they are willing to forget it if they think they can bag a guy like that. You see it time and time again, girls committing to guys who have no real intention of staying true to them. It's one of those dark things you learn in game but girls believe a lot of the crap you tell them if they like you, you can really screw with them.

Click to expand...

Right, so women like that are damaged and generally not worth the trouble? Kinda gives the game a catch-22 feel.

First off: Get the idea out of your head that just because a girl doesn't want to sleep with you by the 2nd date that she doesn't like you or is "playing games" with you. As much as other guys on this board would have you assume that every girl you go out with can be made to sleep with you on the first date if you have the right DJ skills, the reality is that some girls actually DO want to take their time before they sleep with you.

Second: get the idea out of your head that this is a BAD thing. It's okay for her to want to get to know you better to see if you're a genuinely caring guy who likes her for her, or if you're full of sh*t like the 100s of other guys she's probably dated that she didn't end up staying with. You don't know her dating history, therefore you don't know the other experiences she's had in the past. For all you know, she could have had a bunch of one-night stands or early hook ups that she thought was going to go somewhere, only to have it end in heartbreak. Or, she could have come from a family that taught her to be patient with guys and wait. Regardless of the reason, there's no need for YOU to take it so personally, or have it be a thing where if she's not giving it up to you it's a wrap.

Third: stop fearing what her delay of sex means in regards to her interest in you. The fact that she wants to see you again means she has an interest in you. You don't have to give her the D right away for her interest in you to be there.

Fourth: the more you pressure a girl into sex, the less likely she will want to do it with you. Haven't you guys learned that by reading these boards enough? Every story of failed sex on here usually goes the same way: "We went out, she was feeling me, I started to kino and push for sex and she backed away." You have to make a girl think it's HER idea to have sex with you, and you do this by:

1. Not kinoing first
2. Showing her a good time but not pushing for sex on those first few dates
3. Getting her hot and heated, then sending her home (thus showing you're not trying to make this about sex)

All these things, believe it or not, will make her WANT to have sex with you a lot faster. I've scored with chicks on 1st and 2nd dates - including with girls who verbally expressed they were NOT going to have sex with me right away - simply by showing a level of detachment that indicated I was really just there to get to know them, regardless of if that included sex or not. Your OP tells us you were clearly giving signs indicating the opposite: that you needed sex, and that you'd be disappointed if it didn't happen. And women can read that and it turns them off.

You really want to get this girl into bed? The process is simple:

1. No more home dates. But plan activities that are either close to your place or her place. Nothing too expensive, just stuff you can do that will show her a good time.

2. At the end of these dates, make out with her, but DO NOT SUGGEST GOING BACK TO EITHER OF YOUR PLACES. If she's in a good mood and revved up from the kissing, SHE will be the one to suggest this. But again, if she doesn't, tell her you had a great night, then go home. Do NOT let the lack of sex on the date ruin the date.

3. Assuming she suggests going to one of your places, do the same set up you did last time: have a movie ready to watch, but classy it up a bit: have some wine nearby and a candle. Candles set the mood and make your pupils dilate in the dark, which has been known to make someone find you more attractive. As for wine... I just did a podcast about this, but you have to give women built-in excuses so she won't feel like a slvt when she decides to sleep with you. If you have wine, she can use that as her excuse later on when she's telling the story to her friends: "I had a couple of glasses of wine, and the next thing you know, it just happened..."

4. Once you start making out with her, you want to constantly do the whole "start and stop" routine. Make out with her lightly, then get up to get a drink. Sit back down, watch the movie a bit, make out with her a bit more intensely while feeling on her in her non-sexual areas (shoulder, stomach, legs - heck, give her a massage), then stop and go to the bathroom. Sit back down, arm around her, watch the movie a bit more, pull her in closer to you, make out more intensely.

Each time you go back and forth, her motors are starting then stopping then starting again, and each time it's going to start up with her wanting more physical touches from you... to the point where you'll be able to start trying to take her shirt and pants off and she'll actually help you do it.

Now again, if you start making out with her and she doesn't want to go all the way, that's fine. I once had a girl who I didn't score with until the 5th date... but during dates 3 and 4 I was able to get a bit farther with her each time. However, part of the reason for that was because I was STILL TAKING HER OUT ON DATES DESPITE US NOT HAVING YET SLEPT TOGETHER. That's the key - sometimes it may take a while, but once a girl's able to FEEL like you're not just about the sex, she'll be more apt to want to do it. And TRUST me, it can definitely be worth the wait.

Harry Wilmington said:

1. Not kinoing first
2. Showing her a good time but not pushing for sex on those first few dates
3. Getting her hot and heated, then sending her home (thus showing you're not trying to make this about sex)

Click to expand...

So you have to pretend to not be interested in sex in order to get sex? Surely this can end up wasting so much time because you're basically waiting on her to make the moves forward when it should be the other way around.

Her: I want to take it slow.

Me: Im not ready to have sex yet, but when I am, Im more into a fast hard pounding.

I agree with Harry.

Those are good recommendations. But I think it depends on the quality of the woman, and the maturity level of both of you.

If you pick up some who-re at a bar or pof, you can easily bang her on the first or second date.

However high quality women or someone that is serious about starting a LTR will make you wait longer. If you think shes worth it. Stick with her and take Harry's advice.

Btw your definition of "high quality" doesnt factor in. If she has high self worth, you're most likely going to have to wait longer. Even if shes only a 5.