Again and again I see ridiculous, polarised debates on this forum from people who should know better (including myself in the past). I am hereby putting them all to rest in this thread. Feel free to add any more that you can think of. There is only one absolute in this game, and that is that there are no absolutes.
Manosphere vs feminism
Ah, the shrill cries of those who know that they are right and just and have god on their side. Well here's a news flash. Men and women both enjoy having sex, and by creating a great divide between the sexes you are both helping precisely no one. I don't care if the patriachy is enslaving women, or if the great injustice of society is driving men to extinction. If it's not getting me sex, I don't want to hear it.
Text game vs phone game
This is one of the most retarded things I have read yet it keeps coming up. We are in a modern world with phones that are capable of texting and calling. There are times when you should call, and there are times when you should text. Guys with weaker phone game may shift towards texting. Guys with weaker text game may shift towards calling. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
Real life vs online vs Tinder
There are guys who can game well in a date based scenario and there are guys who are better off approaching in real life. There are guys who have the physical attractiveness and texting skills required to do well on Tinder and there are guys who use social manipulation in real life to make up for having less physical attractiveness. The only measure should be the number of phone numbers, dates, kisses, blow jobs and lays that result from a given amount of time using each tool.
Buying women with money vs winning them with game
Let's face it. Some guys are complete social morons but have somehow managed to get themselves a bunch of money. Why would these guys bother gaming when they can simply, in effect, buy the services of women? I personally have been outgamed by a guy in a hostel who had a near limitless supply of money from dealing to all the residents. He took the risk and got the reward. Of course he never knew that his "sweet and innocent" girl was anything but, nor that she was spending some of the money he gave her on me.
Hard vs soft no contact
Now we are getting into dangerous territory. It is universally agreed that if a girl is playing games or being manipulative then the aspiring DJ should break contact and spin plates. Where the schools of thought differ though is whether one should reconnect if a girl reestablishes contact in such a way that it appears that she has learned her lesson.
I believe the answer is based on emotional resiliance. If you can trust yourself to not do again whatever stupid thing it was that made her lose interest then by all means go ahead and give her another chance. If you know that you lack the required experience then you should probably ignore her completely and Go Fvck Ten Other Women.
Keeping vs dumping a girl who is possibly seeing other guys
This one is extremely controversial. From a previous thread it looks like most guys on this forum would advocate dumping any girl who may be sleeping with another guy (even if she is not your primary partner), and a good number would advocate dumping a girl who is texting another guy or seeing him socially (even if the other guy is a beta orbiter).
The answer to this one is tricky. It is based on a number of things, including emotional resiliance, confidence, susceptibility to jealousy, experience with the psychology of women, and the ability to project your reality onto others. Not many guys have all of the things required to do this. I am not certain whether any more than a handful of guys here are even capable of learning these prerequisites, but I would like to hear from those who can or have.
My PERSONAL opinion is that you should keep around ANY attractive woman who is having sex with you, but ONLY if she treats you with a high level of respect. Furthermore, the more leniency you give her to do as she wishes, or the more "boyfriend" benefits you give her, the more respect she must give you when you are together. There are many benefits that a man can gain from this type of relationship. The extreme case of a guy whose women have sex with other men for his benefit is a pimp.
Some on this forum believe that telling a girl that you are ok with her seeing other men makes you "beta", because you are accepting a "low quality" woman. This is probably because they have not witnessed first hand the massive amount of power that a man can gain through emotional detachment and refusing to give in to jealousy and judgement, nor the full extent of a woman's hypergamy. Let me say from first hand experience that the term "high quality", attached to a woman, is a very slippery one indeed. I have had two female friends who do not have any trouble convincing relationship-worthy men that they are relationship-quality women, yet have actual sexual partner counts over 50. I have had a number of women that were or would have been of high enough quality to introduce to my parents, and yet I had no problems getting them to do things that most men will only experience in pornography.
The man always sets the frame. If you are screening for a high quality woman, then this is exactly what you will get. The woman will adapt to your frame by reducing her partner count and outwards signs of sexuality. In this way it is possible for a heaviliy-screening man to end up with a woman who has had many partners, because his screening frame will cause the woman to make sure that he does not find out about any past or current indiscretions. The number of former partners a woman tells you about can vary by a factor of three or more depending on your frame.
On the other hand, there do exist women who are attractive, high quality as determined by society, and have a reasonably low partner count. These women would be excellent for either a monogamous partner or as a primary partner in a polyamorous relationship. They are, of course, only attainable by very high value men.
Learning and adapting vs settling and closing off
When is near enough good enough? Many guys will reach a point where they are happy with their level of game and women. Others will continue striving until the day they die to better themselves. As with everything, trade offs are involved. Learning takes time. I have been closed off in the past. A year ago I would have dismissed a huge amount of my current philosophy as nonsense. But then something unexpected happened.
During my year long voyage of discovery, I was soundly defeated exactly once. It was not by an alpha male with his tribe of bros backing him up, nor by the endless hordes of betas with their constant low level energy draining, nor by the gangsters with their local knowledge and capacity for physical violence. It was by the most unlikely of characters. A scrawny polyamorist who cheered me on as I kissed his girlfriend, and somehow extracted a small crowd of clubgoers back to his apartment for a bit of fun. Although I had no idea what I was doing, I managed to hold my frame until in one moment of weakness I cast judgement on the woman who would have been my partner and the world I had begun to enter closed off against me. He and his girlfriend tried to rescue me twice but I was too far gone. I defeated myself.
Absolutes vs flexibility
Why don't I deal in absolutes? Why do I refuse to judge, compete, or engage in jealousy? Why do I try to keep an open mind even in the face of unbelievable stupidity? Because it is through this path that I can enter the world that I once glimpsed and have now started to create for myself.
P.S. Two books that you should read if you want to follow this path are (1) Sex at Dawn and (2) The Manipulated Man. The first is an insight into women's hypergamy and the second is an insight into women's manipulativeness. After reading these, everything will make sense.
Manosphere vs feminism
Ah, the shrill cries of those who know that they are right and just and have god on their side. Well here's a news flash. Men and women both enjoy having sex, and by creating a great divide between the sexes you are both helping precisely no one. I don't care if the patriachy is enslaving women, or if the great injustice of society is driving men to extinction. If it's not getting me sex, I don't want to hear it.
Text game vs phone game
This is one of the most retarded things I have read yet it keeps coming up. We are in a modern world with phones that are capable of texting and calling. There are times when you should call, and there are times when you should text. Guys with weaker phone game may shift towards texting. Guys with weaker text game may shift towards calling. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
Real life vs online vs Tinder
There are guys who can game well in a date based scenario and there are guys who are better off approaching in real life. There are guys who have the physical attractiveness and texting skills required to do well on Tinder and there are guys who use social manipulation in real life to make up for having less physical attractiveness. The only measure should be the number of phone numbers, dates, kisses, blow jobs and lays that result from a given amount of time using each tool.
Buying women with money vs winning them with game
Let's face it. Some guys are complete social morons but have somehow managed to get themselves a bunch of money. Why would these guys bother gaming when they can simply, in effect, buy the services of women? I personally have been outgamed by a guy in a hostel who had a near limitless supply of money from dealing to all the residents. He took the risk and got the reward. Of course he never knew that his "sweet and innocent" girl was anything but, nor that she was spending some of the money he gave her on me.
Hard vs soft no contact
Now we are getting into dangerous territory. It is universally agreed that if a girl is playing games or being manipulative then the aspiring DJ should break contact and spin plates. Where the schools of thought differ though is whether one should reconnect if a girl reestablishes contact in such a way that it appears that she has learned her lesson.
I believe the answer is based on emotional resiliance. If you can trust yourself to not do again whatever stupid thing it was that made her lose interest then by all means go ahead and give her another chance. If you know that you lack the required experience then you should probably ignore her completely and Go Fvck Ten Other Women.
Keeping vs dumping a girl who is possibly seeing other guys
This one is extremely controversial. From a previous thread it looks like most guys on this forum would advocate dumping any girl who may be sleeping with another guy (even if she is not your primary partner), and a good number would advocate dumping a girl who is texting another guy or seeing him socially (even if the other guy is a beta orbiter).
The answer to this one is tricky. It is based on a number of things, including emotional resiliance, confidence, susceptibility to jealousy, experience with the psychology of women, and the ability to project your reality onto others. Not many guys have all of the things required to do this. I am not certain whether any more than a handful of guys here are even capable of learning these prerequisites, but I would like to hear from those who can or have.
My PERSONAL opinion is that you should keep around ANY attractive woman who is having sex with you, but ONLY if she treats you with a high level of respect. Furthermore, the more leniency you give her to do as she wishes, or the more "boyfriend" benefits you give her, the more respect she must give you when you are together. There are many benefits that a man can gain from this type of relationship. The extreme case of a guy whose women have sex with other men for his benefit is a pimp.
Some on this forum believe that telling a girl that you are ok with her seeing other men makes you "beta", because you are accepting a "low quality" woman. This is probably because they have not witnessed first hand the massive amount of power that a man can gain through emotional detachment and refusing to give in to jealousy and judgement, nor the full extent of a woman's hypergamy. Let me say from first hand experience that the term "high quality", attached to a woman, is a very slippery one indeed. I have had two female friends who do not have any trouble convincing relationship-worthy men that they are relationship-quality women, yet have actual sexual partner counts over 50. I have had a number of women that were or would have been of high enough quality to introduce to my parents, and yet I had no problems getting them to do things that most men will only experience in pornography.
The man always sets the frame. If you are screening for a high quality woman, then this is exactly what you will get. The woman will adapt to your frame by reducing her partner count and outwards signs of sexuality. In this way it is possible for a heaviliy-screening man to end up with a woman who has had many partners, because his screening frame will cause the woman to make sure that he does not find out about any past or current indiscretions. The number of former partners a woman tells you about can vary by a factor of three or more depending on your frame.
On the other hand, there do exist women who are attractive, high quality as determined by society, and have a reasonably low partner count. These women would be excellent for either a monogamous partner or as a primary partner in a polyamorous relationship. They are, of course, only attainable by very high value men.
Learning and adapting vs settling and closing off
When is near enough good enough? Many guys will reach a point where they are happy with their level of game and women. Others will continue striving until the day they die to better themselves. As with everything, trade offs are involved. Learning takes time. I have been closed off in the past. A year ago I would have dismissed a huge amount of my current philosophy as nonsense. But then something unexpected happened.
During my year long voyage of discovery, I was soundly defeated exactly once. It was not by an alpha male with his tribe of bros backing him up, nor by the endless hordes of betas with their constant low level energy draining, nor by the gangsters with their local knowledge and capacity for physical violence. It was by the most unlikely of characters. A scrawny polyamorist who cheered me on as I kissed his girlfriend, and somehow extracted a small crowd of clubgoers back to his apartment for a bit of fun. Although I had no idea what I was doing, I managed to hold my frame until in one moment of weakness I cast judgement on the woman who would have been my partner and the world I had begun to enter closed off against me. He and his girlfriend tried to rescue me twice but I was too far gone. I defeated myself.
Absolutes vs flexibility
Why don't I deal in absolutes? Why do I refuse to judge, compete, or engage in jealousy? Why do I try to keep an open mind even in the face of unbelievable stupidity? Because it is through this path that I can enter the world that I once glimpsed and have now started to create for myself.
P.S. Two books that you should read if you want to follow this path are (1) Sex at Dawn and (2) The Manipulated Man. The first is an insight into women's hypergamy and the second is an insight into women's manipulativeness. After reading these, everything will make sense.
