New member here. Would appreciate some advice. I've read many articles here and have a basic understanding of game. Started reading material after I separated from my wife and felt like I needed to get better at meeting women and seducing them.
There's so much info out there that sometimes it feels contradictory. Some stuff I've read suggests moving quickly, letting her know you are interested early, etc. Other websites suggest taking your time and building rapport.
These were my two most recent failures (both girls are co-workers).
Girl #1 HB7
This girl started working at my company a few months back. There was an incident where her phone was stolen from her office by some client. She called me for advice wanting to know if she should call security. I'm the manager. Told her to call security and to give me a description of the guy who was in her office. Went outside to see if I could catch up to the guy and get her phone back. Long story short I did see the guy and was able to get the phone back. Told him we had everything on video and that if he didn't want any problems with the police to just hand me the phone. He did.
She was extremely happy when I returned with the phone. She gave me a bunch of hugs and said she didn't know how to pay me back. Told her she could pay me back by inviting me for drinks. She said yes. We exchanged numbers. In the following days we texted back and forth. She would take long to reply and so I did the same. She did tell me in a text that she has a bf but that she would go to a bar with me after work no problem. I went along with it. The day came and she texted saying a girlfriend of hers had a rough week and wanted to come, could she bring her. I didn't like this at all but told her it was ok and went. Felt like canceling the whole thing but I saw it as an opportunity to learn (haven't been out with many girls/married young and wasn't very social then). I thought to myself if I can handle 2 girls at the same time then this will be good practice for future dates with other girls. Things went well at the bar. I felt I did ok. She mentioned the bf a couple of times and I didn't react to that, kept acting like I didn't even hear it.
A few days later I texted her trying to set up a date with her (us alone). Told her she seems cool and is beautiful and so I wanted to go out with her to get to know her better. She replied that she is happy in her current relationship and that she would go out for lunch with me but as friends. I said ok but never set up anything.
After that we kept texting each other. She is the first to start texting some days. Her bf is away out of the country. She invited me for drinks again. I said yes but then canceled because she kept talking about her bf in her texts. They apparently are having issues. I think I'm in the stupid friend zone. She texts me about other stupid stuff that women to talk to friends about.
Right now she's out of town visiting the bf. She didn't tell me but I get the sense this trip is a save it or end it kind of trip. Like she wants to know if the relationship should end. I think she wants to have me as backup if things go sour or maybe she's starting to like me. Not sure. She texted me while at the bar in the airport waiting to board the plane. I don't know if this are IOIs or she's just texting me as a friend. I don't feel like hanging around and wasting my time in case she breaks up with the bf. I've never had a female friend. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea for social value/building a network? Not sure how to proceed with this one but my gut says I should let it go. Don't make sense.
Girl #2 HB7
This girl is very social and charismatic. One of those girls with whom is hard to tell if they are just being friendly or they like you. I liked her since I saw her. She's attractive (blonde). We talked a few times while making copies in the office and stuff like that. After coming back from a one week vacation she went to my office (she works in a different area) to chit chat and ask where I traveled to and stuff like that. I saw some interest from her there and thought maybe I should ask her for her number and give it a shot. I didn't ask then. Two weeks later she tells me she's being moved to another building and says bye to me. I asked for her number and said we should stay in touch maybe hang out sometime grab some dinner. She was kind of surprised but gave me the number. I didn't feel she was too open to that but hey I got the number so I texted her a week or so later.
First text I sent her she replied saying who's this because she had changed phone and lost all numbers. I told her who I was and we started texting. Asked her how things were going at the new location. She said fine. I think this is where I made a HUGE mistake. I went too strong and showed too much interest. Told her I thought she was stunningly beautiful and that we should go out. An hour or so later she replied saying thanks and that she had just finished a game of softball and was all sweaty and not looking pretty at the moment. I replied that I bet she looked cute in her softball jersey. She said thanks. I replied by proposing a day (the next weekend) and a time. She never responded.
I deleted her number.
I think my mistake has been showing my hand too quick and showing too much interest too soon. In the future, say I get a number. How should I go about it in texts. Should I try to build a connection and rapport via texts before asking her out or just keep texting minimal and set the date where I can build attraction, comfort and sexual tension better?
Do you guys recommend a period of texting or msg on FB where I try to connect and flirt a bit before setting the date or just keep msg minimal and set it up.
I also get confused when I read that I should let the girl know right away I like her so that I avoid the friend zone. Verbally expressing it has proven to be a mistake so I guess the best way would be to escalate physically. What's the best way to do it ... meaning to set the tone for a romantic relationship from the get go without coming on too strong?
Thanks,
There's so much info out there that sometimes it feels contradictory. Some stuff I've read suggests moving quickly, letting her know you are interested early, etc. Other websites suggest taking your time and building rapport.
These were my two most recent failures (both girls are co-workers).
Girl #1 HB7
This girl started working at my company a few months back. There was an incident where her phone was stolen from her office by some client. She called me for advice wanting to know if she should call security. I'm the manager. Told her to call security and to give me a description of the guy who was in her office. Went outside to see if I could catch up to the guy and get her phone back. Long story short I did see the guy and was able to get the phone back. Told him we had everything on video and that if he didn't want any problems with the police to just hand me the phone. He did.
She was extremely happy when I returned with the phone. She gave me a bunch of hugs and said she didn't know how to pay me back. Told her she could pay me back by inviting me for drinks. She said yes. We exchanged numbers. In the following days we texted back and forth. She would take long to reply and so I did the same. She did tell me in a text that she has a bf but that she would go to a bar with me after work no problem. I went along with it. The day came and she texted saying a girlfriend of hers had a rough week and wanted to come, could she bring her. I didn't like this at all but told her it was ok and went. Felt like canceling the whole thing but I saw it as an opportunity to learn (haven't been out with many girls/married young and wasn't very social then). I thought to myself if I can handle 2 girls at the same time then this will be good practice for future dates with other girls. Things went well at the bar. I felt I did ok. She mentioned the bf a couple of times and I didn't react to that, kept acting like I didn't even hear it.
A few days later I texted her trying to set up a date with her (us alone). Told her she seems cool and is beautiful and so I wanted to go out with her to get to know her better. She replied that she is happy in her current relationship and that she would go out for lunch with me but as friends. I said ok but never set up anything.
After that we kept texting each other. She is the first to start texting some days. Her bf is away out of the country. She invited me for drinks again. I said yes but then canceled because she kept talking about her bf in her texts. They apparently are having issues. I think I'm in the stupid friend zone. She texts me about other stupid stuff that women to talk to friends about.
Right now she's out of town visiting the bf. She didn't tell me but I get the sense this trip is a save it or end it kind of trip. Like she wants to know if the relationship should end. I think she wants to have me as backup if things go sour or maybe she's starting to like me. Not sure. She texted me while at the bar in the airport waiting to board the plane. I don't know if this are IOIs or she's just texting me as a friend. I don't feel like hanging around and wasting my time in case she breaks up with the bf. I've never had a female friend. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea for social value/building a network? Not sure how to proceed with this one but my gut says I should let it go. Don't make sense.
Girl #2 HB7
This girl is very social and charismatic. One of those girls with whom is hard to tell if they are just being friendly or they like you. I liked her since I saw her. She's attractive (blonde). We talked a few times while making copies in the office and stuff like that. After coming back from a one week vacation she went to my office (she works in a different area) to chit chat and ask where I traveled to and stuff like that. I saw some interest from her there and thought maybe I should ask her for her number and give it a shot. I didn't ask then. Two weeks later she tells me she's being moved to another building and says bye to me. I asked for her number and said we should stay in touch maybe hang out sometime grab some dinner. She was kind of surprised but gave me the number. I didn't feel she was too open to that but hey I got the number so I texted her a week or so later.
First text I sent her she replied saying who's this because she had changed phone and lost all numbers. I told her who I was and we started texting. Asked her how things were going at the new location. She said fine. I think this is where I made a HUGE mistake. I went too strong and showed too much interest. Told her I thought she was stunningly beautiful and that we should go out. An hour or so later she replied saying thanks and that she had just finished a game of softball and was all sweaty and not looking pretty at the moment. I replied that I bet she looked cute in her softball jersey. She said thanks. I replied by proposing a day (the next weekend) and a time. She never responded.
I deleted her number.
I think my mistake has been showing my hand too quick and showing too much interest too soon. In the future, say I get a number. How should I go about it in texts. Should I try to build a connection and rapport via texts before asking her out or just keep texting minimal and set the date where I can build attraction, comfort and sexual tension better?
Do you guys recommend a period of texting or msg on FB where I try to connect and flirt a bit before setting the date or just keep msg minimal and set it up.
I also get confused when I read that I should let the girl know right away I like her so that I avoid the friend zone. Verbally expressing it has proven to be a mistake so I guess the best way would be to escalate physically. What's the best way to do it ... meaning to set the tone for a romantic relationship from the get go without coming on too strong?
Thanks,
" stuff like that. 
