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Married 6 months...wife is changing...

MattC80

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Brief story here...

Met my wife at my job. I'm 32, she's 30.

We both work in finance and I always had sort of a thing for her, but when we first met she was married. We got to know each other on recruiting trips through our job. Her and I and a few other associates would fly to different parts of the country and we'd always make small talk and I could sense we were connecting. I was sort of frustrated because she wasn't available - and I was in the later stages of breaking it off with my girlfriend.

This was about two years ago.

At the beginning of last year, she and her husband divorce. They were married for 2 years. She wanted kids and he didn't and I guess he kind of drifted away from her. She tried to get him back but he was already banging some girl. She got all pissy about this and started crying a lot. She then started asking me if she was prettier than her and I told her to forget about him.

So she wasn't in a good place - but it didn't take long before we were doing things together on the weekend and we got pretty close.

We started dating, got official, having sex on the regular and things were amazing and nearly perfect. I went fishing with her dad and met almost all of her family members. I text her brother like every other day. We attended a few weddings over that summer so she met all of my family.

We dated for about 13 months and I proposed to her. Things were OK during the engagement phase but not great because she was going buck wild with planning it and sort of ignoring me which pissed me off. We werent having sex very much during this time and she was putting on a little weight.

On our wedding night she kept telling me to hurry up when we were having sex and wanted me to orgasm faster. We went on our honeymoon - Turks and Caicos - and she was sort of doing the same thing. We were there for a week and didn't seem that into having sex with me.

We get back to my house, and she's moved in now and wants us to sell my house and buy a brand new one, and she's and pressuring me for a kid now but she's not even trying in the bedroom. We've gone a couple weeks without sex.

Last night we had a pretty big blow up and we've been fighting for awhile now. Nothing I do is good enough, even though I make a really good salary. She's also been spending a lot of time with her mom and she's sort of meddling a bit.

The other thing that pisses me off a bit is that we were Facebook friends when she was married and she had tons of photos of her and her ex-husband. She deleted them when we began dating, but she won't post photos of us together.

Another thing, she doesn't want to change her last name on her Facebook profile to my last name. But she did for her ex. I know this is petty, but it's disrespectful.

I'm considering counseling or at least a trial separation.

So yeah TL:DR - My wife is being a b!tch 6 months into our marriage.
 

backbreaker

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yeah hurry. get an annulment.

i Screened my wife for 2 and a half years, then we were engaged for another year and 2 months. 13 months is nothing. it takes 2 years to really get to the core of a woman to see if she's for you. she can't fake it that long
 

El Payaso

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Hope you have a good divorce attorney.

Read the DJ bible before getting married again.
 

MattC80

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She won't be able to get much of my money. I'm reading about annulment tonight.

The thing is that when we do have good times, its really good. And I love her family.

I'm embarrassed. Our wedding was pretty ridiculous and so many people attended. Even some of our co-workers...

So how the F*CK am I going to deal with her everyday at work if we split? Getting depressed here guys. I need advice on how to turn this around.
 

Krueg

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Hate to say it, but doesnt sound like she is the one.. One thing I found odd is that she asked you, if her ex husbands new girlfriend is better looking that her.. Does she have self esteem issues? Thought that was kind weird coming from a 30 year old woman.

Then you got the other issues... Sex life already dying? Spending more time with her mom.. Not changing her last name on facebook, trying to get you to get her pregnant, wants to sell your house?

What, does she want a kid so she can divorce you, get the "new" house and child support coming from you? I would start running for the hills buddy!!
 

expos

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This is why you don't date co-workers.

It will only get worse from here and you need to really confront her. It seems like your wife has pulled a bait and switch. I doesn't sound like she loves you. She was looking to get married and you played the role of nice-guy beta orbiter.

She's getting fat too? That's some disrespect.

Check her phone, dude. She might be cheating on you.
 

backbreaker

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first thing is first. leave. everything else will fall into place. every day you stay longer with her is a chink in your divorce /annulment armor
 

TheCWord

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Maybe it's just how you told it, but it seems like her behavior changed the SECOND you two got married. If that's true, that's pretty crazy. I mean, record time.

While this one might not be salvageable - I'll leave it to more experienced LTR/marriage guys to asses that - you should be very mindful of keeping a strong frame consistently in your future relationships. Much of her behavior indicates that she doesn't respect you. She knows she can treat you that way and you won't do a damn thing about it. You're her little prop husband, and she thinks you won't walk away.

Perhaps early on in the relationship you were a little too available. Gave her praise and love unconditionally, rather than doing so only when she's been giving you all the things you consider important in a relationship first (this could be respect, constant sex, cooking you meals, etc). If you give your love away for free, no wonder she doesn't try to work for it anymore. If you don't make it very clear who's boss from the get-go, and give the impression that you're willing to peace out, then you'll end up in a situation like you're in.

Good luck and keep us posted.
 

backbreaker

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lol. my wife talks me OUT fo debt. I came pretty damn close to buying a new mercedes about 4-5 months ago for no ****ing reason other than i wanted to and she was like babe why lol? i don't want it, we don't need it, you can spend that money on your business or put it in savings or something. I mean if you really want it go get it but i mean, i don't need a new car, you really don't need one either. She was right too, I don't need a new car, my car i was trading in had like 20k miles on it. plus i've had a mercedes before not like i don't know what the car is.

BEING EMBARRASSED SHOULD BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS.

this. which i more embarrassing... having your house you bought and having to deal with your ex wife at work or being 40 years old and living at an apartment with and driving a kia because you decided to stay with your wife for a few more years.. you know.. becuase it was too embarrassing to leave other wise lol, and she cheated on you, told you she feel out of love and now that you'e been married for 3 years half your **** is hers, so she gets to **** her new boy toy in your house.


life is like poker man. you got ot know when to go all in sometimes. but sometimes, you have to look at your hand and say you know.. my hand is ****, yeah i lost the buy in lol , **** it. live to fight another day. that's where you are right now. Do you want to lose a buy in or do you want to lose your all in on the river card?
 

Albatross953

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Having a kid (love him, lay down my life for him) is like rolling a grenade into your marriage and life. You be 100% sure before you knock her up.

Your life, your call.
 

No.Danny

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Ahhhh marriage seems great!
 

TheCWord

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No.Danny said:
Ahhhh marriage seems great!
There are married men with happy, successful marriages. They don't post on SoSuave.
 

MattC80

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A few more details I should probably disclose, , my mom has been ill and she's living with us right now and my wife is pushing me to set her up in an apartment but assisted living is pretty expensive - like $2000 lowest. So my wife is unhappy with the whole situation but we are working on it. It's been a strain and a sore subject.

I'm also getting heat from her regarding her ex-husband, because if I do anything similar to him, she yells at me and tells "please don't be like Jason, he did that all the time". So I'm being compared to him, which angers me.

I think she might be depressed. Has anyone gone through anything similar cause I need a little support.
 

expos

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If she's got self-esteem issues and she's comparing herself to her husband's new GF than she's still somehow involved or not over her husband in some capacity.

I think there is a good reason why she was only married for 2 years that she probably isn't telling you.
 

expos

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DO NOT HAVE KIDS
DO NOT GO DEEPER IN DEBT
CURTAIL HER SPENDING
KEEP A CLOSE, CLOSE EYE ON YOUR BANKS ACCOUNTS, CREDIT CARDS, ETC. SHE WILL BEGIN RACKING UP DEBT IF SHE IS PLANNING ON LEAVING. MINE STOLE ABOUT 5 GRAND THIS WAY - CASH ADVANCES ON CREDIT CARDS, ETC. I WAS TRUSTING, AND NAIVE. DON'T YOU BE!!
DO NOT BUY ANOTHER HOUSE.
THIS THING IS ABOUT TO IMPLODE.

KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU, EYES ON FINANCES AND CONSULT A LAWYER.
[/QUOTE]

Mauser always needs to be repped in these kind of posts!
 

Trump

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Never understand why guys want to get married without having kids within the first 6 months.

Marriage is a contract you have to think about carefully, nothing is unconditional. Things change, people change, people manipulate, nothing is guaranteed.

Just buy companionship and sex until you want to have kids.
 

skinnyguy

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Sad story here. OP sounds like a decent guy who fvcked with the wrong woman. I still believe in marriage but not to people I work with
 

cordoncordon

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TheCWord said:
There are married men with happy, successful marriages. They don't post on SoSuave.
I'm married. Happy. I post on SoSuave. :)

OP I can tell you right now that you need to get out of this asap. This is not the girl for you. I can only relate your experience to mine and give you advice based off of that. I met my now wife 5 years ago right during the process of breaking up with an ex of 5 years. I was not looking for anything serious but when I met her, I knew. She knew. We have been together 5 years now and we are as happy together as two school kids getting it on for the first time. Sex is great. Go everywhere together. Work out together 5 days a week. So for your now wife to be doing the things she is? After only 2 years of dating and 6 months of marriage? You are not meant to be together OP. It really is that simple. Relationships do not have to be this difficult. They should add to your life, not take away from it.

I would, as others have suggested, look into an annulment or divorce and get out of this relatively unscathed.

Best of luck.
 
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