possible to attract her again ?

hello everyone, this is my first post here, here is my story..

I met this girl through tinder, and we clicked right away, first date we went out we talked for 5 hours, we had a good time, she lives about two hours from me, so i don't see her ofter, but she used to make time to come visit me for couple of days then go back, everything was going really good, she was very flirty, cool with me, we had sex twice and did **** couple of times..

i made it clear to her i want a relationship, and she was down but said not yet because she just broke up with her ex, but agreed to keep it exclusive..

everything was perfect for about two months, now the past month or so, she started getting cold on me, not flirty anymore, no more nudes, short convos (we've been texting nonstop ever since we first met).. now texts are every couple of hours and i can tell she's pretty much over me (doesn't like it when my ex contact me though) and she's been flaky.

I'm really into this girl, she's on my mind nonstop, in fact i think thats what messed everything up is me being clingy and needy (even though for months it was good), now I'm trying my best to get the same flame back, i also suspect she's dating other guys, but not for sure, maybe I'm being paranoid.

my question is, is there a way i can get her back, get her into me again and want a relationship with me (she's very pretty and gets a lot of guys attention).

I'm seriously willing to do whatever to have her again and things to get back like before..

sorry for the long post, I would absolutely appreciate any help i can get..

thanks in advance.

Mauser96 said:

Don't contact her:
don't text
don't call
don't FB
NOTHING.

If she has ANY interest, she will reach out. At that point, you act happy, polite, positive, and ask her to get together.

Any answer but YES means delete the number and move on.

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thanks for the input, but she has a habit of her snapping me good morning on snapchat every morning, does that count as contact ?

The ex still in the picture? Possible she's been in contact/seeing him while she's been seeing you? You need to go ghost for a bit and let her sort her sh*t out. Let her do all of the initiating.

GS750 said:

The ex still in the picture? Possible she's been in contact/seeing him while she's been seeing you? You need to go ghost for a bit and let her sort her sh*t out. Let her do all of the initiating.

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her ex beat her up and ended then but she said he contacts her all the time telling her how he messed up and how much he loves her and wants to marry her and she actually did mention recently (when i was confronting her about being cold) that things are catching up with her, and she's kind of down, and want to make herself happy first before making someone else happy (me) and asked me to be patient with her

Mauser96 said:

It counts as her relying on YOU as her daily morning dose of attention.

You said :

"everything was perfect for about two months, now the past month or so, she started getting cold on me, not flirty anymore, no more nudes, short convos (we've been texting nonstop ever since we first met).. now texts are every couple of hours and i can tell she's pretty much over me (doesn't like it when my ex contact me though) and she's been flaky."

Stop being the attention source.
Call her tomorrow and attempt to make a date. If she says anything but YES, stop responding to any contact she sends until she DOES say yes. In other words, until she suggests it.

She is using you for attention. How do you like being just an attention hit?

No?


Then stop being one.

If she walks, she walks. You are better off for it.

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I told her yesterday after her being flaky that i would never ask her to hangout again unless she makes time for me like she did before.. its very tough when she made it seem like we're gonna be in a relationship, she even told her mom, siblings, etc.. about me..

Mauser96 said:

It is not tough at all. You are ALLOWING it. ALLOWING it.

Last post for me. Let me know how it turns out.

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thanks i appreciate your suggestions, tomorrow i'll call her and ask her for a date two weeks from now (she can't next week and can't on hollowed).

Going ghost or no contact might get her interested again but...

You're her rebound bro. She just broke up with her ex and then you explicitly tell her that you want to be exclusive..? Especially after basically stalking her nonstop..? Her ex also beat her...

The chances of her coming around are very very low for you.

Stop calling her.

Do not ask her for a date in two weeks.

Leave her alone until she contacts you to do more than seek attention.

If it's two weeks or more and you haven't heard from her, so what?

Frayzer said:

Going ghost or no contact might get her interested again but...

You're her rebound bro. She just broke up with her ex and then you explicitly tell her that you want to be exclusive..? Especially after basically stalking her nonstop..? Her ex also beat her...

The chances of her coming around are very very low for you.

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well she broke up with her ex a week before we started talking thats what i meant, same with me, me and my ex broke up a week before, what i don't understand is, why did she tell her family, and she was very into it, also why does she want me around when she get a lot of attention from other guys, and get mad or at least act mad when my ex contact me ?

Tictac said:

Stop calling her.

Do not ask her for a date in two weeks.

Leave her alone until she contacts you to do more than seek attention.

If it's two weeks or more and you haven't heard from her, so what?

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you suggest to just ignore her good morning snaps (which i really appreciate a lot) and not say anything to her at all unless she ask me to hangout ?

Is what you've been doing working?

So stop that.

Give her two weeks off.

Right now, all you're doing is making sure she keeps going the same direction she's going - away from you.

WAKE UP!

Tictac said:

Is what you've been doing working?

So stop that.

Give her two weeks off.

Right now, all you're doing is making sure she keeps going the same direction she's going - away from you.

WAKE UP!

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you're right, it is not working, so you suggest to ignore her when she text me (she just texted me about her day), wouldn't that completely kill it off though?

....

Yes, ignore her.

What you've been doing has all but killed it anyway.

Be much less accessible.

Re-read all the advice just given you above, especially Mauser.

Do not complain, whine or moan to her. Do not tell her you 'want a relationship with her'.

Back off. Right now, you're nothing more than her safety net.

Think in yourself first, see other women,, Time off should be applied for any misbehavior on her side.. It has been said multiple times that too much texting in between or before dates will kill attraction..it should be used minimal to set up dates only.

Roni_88 said:

Think in yourself first, see other women,, Time off should be applied for any misbehavior on her side.. It has been said multiple times that too much texting in between or before dates will kill attraction..it should be used minimal to set up dates only.

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i think seeing other women will make her jealous, granted she wouldn't find out though, but i don't want to be the one breaking the promise of not talking to other people.. i know its very beta but I'm just big on loyalty..

callmej said:

i think seeing other women will make her jealous, granted she wouldn't find out though, but i don't want to be the one breaking the promise of not talking to other people.. i know its very beta but I'm just big on loyalty..

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Promise ????.. with less than three months and not even exclusive ??.. You are losing this battle big time my friend.. I'm nowhere near a Don Juan.. But you need a drastic change here..if you still have a chance with her..

Roni_88 said:

Promise ????.. with less than three months and not even exclusive ??.. You are losing this battle big time my friend.. I'm nowhere near a Don Juan.. But you need a drastic change here..if you still have a chance with her..

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we promised each other to keep it exclusive i know its stupid exclusive dating and no relationship, and thats why I'm asking man, i know this sounds stupid but I've completely fallen for her and willing to do whatever to get her/keep her, i don't want to talk to other women and mess it up and honestly i only care about her.. it sucks lol

You are NOT willing to do whatever it takes. You're not willing to anything at all.

You are not listening to anything being offered you here.

You want things to be different but you don 't want to change what you are doing. You have an excuse for every bit of advice offers you here.

So stop bothering people here. Go argue with yourself.

She'll be out of your life in a month if you keep up what you're doing.

callmej said:

well she broke up with her ex a week before we started talking thats what i meant, same with me, me and my ex broke up a week before, what i don't understand is, why did she tell her family, and she was very into it, also why does she want me around when she get a lot of attention from other guys, and get mad or at least act mad when my ex contact me ?

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I take it you've never been a rebound guy before? It's basically just about sex dude. It usually doesn't last very long either.