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Do "white buffaloes" raise the standards of potential LTR to impossible standards?

Bassic

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***skip to the asterisk if you don't feel like reading ***

back story. A "white buffalo" (Henceforth referred to as WB) is the proverbial "one that got away". I never believed in such things until I lost it. The timing of this relationship was horrible. I had just ended an 8 year relationship from hell. I went to an unofficial class reunion with one of my girl friends (platonic), and met my WB. We exchanged numbers that night.

Fast forward a couple weeks, I was focused on my custody battle with the EX, not really interested in getting back into the game. My EX had picked up my kid, and I went on a date with a girl I met over facebook. The date was going horrible. Extremely boring girl, all she talked about was video games and Magic the Gathering. Then WB texted me and asked me if I wanted to grab a drink. I happily obliged, and told her to come rescue me. We went to some hole in the wall bar and hit it off on a tremendous level. The flow of the conversation was amazing, we even food the whole "jinx" thing a few times when sing the same thing in unison. Shortly after we began dating.

6 months later, everything was perfect. Then she said ILY. I freaked. I started thinking, "but wait! I just got out of this 8 year relationship, I'm supposed to be enjoying my single life!" I broke up with her, and I broke her beautiful heart. I didn't even care, I was on a mission. After a number of amazing sex, which turned into empty sex, which turned me into a douche. So what did I do? I reached out to WB. I told her how I was wrong and I was sorry and I'd do whatever it takes to earn back her trust. She said we should meet for a drink. This was last night.

She tells me she's moving 7 hours away to get away from everything and start all over, and regardless of how much she loved me, she had to do this for her. I pretended to be happy for her, and we got drunk and reminisced. She brought up no ill issues, we laughed and had an amazing time, as if we never broke up. Came back to my place and had some very passionate and meaningful sex. It's bittersweet.

***Now I'm accepting the fact that we won't get back together....but I just can't imagine finding any other girl who could match these standards. This girl is easily an 8-9, has excellent genetics, but most importantly, i have some extremely radical philosophical beliefs, and lifestyle. It's extremely hard to find a female who is interested in that, even harder to find one that beautiful, and even harder to find one that isn't taken and is interested in me as well. I think she raised the bar to impossible standards.

***How do you guys feel about dating after losing your white buffalo?
 

Maximummax

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i heard the "Whale" reference many times, but white buffalo is the the first time. made me laugh out loud
 

Bassic

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Maximummax said:
i heard the "Whale" reference many times, but white buffalo is the the first time. made me laugh out loud
Lol it's from "Hot Tub Time Machine"
 

samspade

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Cool story bro. But a white buffalo is a holy animal in Native American folklore because of its rarity. You are automatically pedestalizing any woman to which you attach this term. Don't do that.

but I just can't imagine finding any other girl who could match these standards.
Maybe you can't imagine it right now, but if you keep looking and approaching, eventually you'll surprise yourself.

I don't necessarily believe in fate but I do believe things happen or don't happen because of timing, and your timing with her was off. Simple as that. Since the universe is one giant clock you gotta roll with it; your personal "timing" will improve as you increase your odds via DJ skills and approaches. I know that's not as romantic-sounding as a "white buffalo" but you're a man, not a little girl.
 

Bassic

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Once you fully take the red pill its probably hard to have a white buffalo, unless you actually caused the breakup by being abusive or something. Otherwise, if a girl dumps you it should be easy enough to rationalize the relationship away, even if only on her post-dumping behavior.
That's what makes me feel this way. During the entire relationship it was really like it was meant to be. The only thing that went wrong was my insecurities with allowing myself to fall for a girl so soon. Even after the break up she never pulled no psycho ****, periodically checked in with me to see where I was emotionally, and finally when I decided I was ready... I was just a month too late.

And dude can say I'm pedistalizing her or whatever, but honestly I didn't realize how rare the connection with her was until recently. I don't think calling it for what it is constitutes me pedistalizing anything, it's not like I begged her to stay (though i wanted to), I just smiled and told her I was happy she was establishing some independence and rolled on with the night.
 

Malcontent

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I have been trying to get over one of these. She had the looks. We had the same sense of humor. She was interested in what I was interested in. But I also think she was BPD, so it was all fake.

But the bar has been set high. Now I only look at model type chicks. Now I expect this great compatibility.

Hard to move on but I'm trying.
 

Bassic

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
The FULL red pill, which I have not taken myself, is 1) being a player is better than investing in one woman and/or 2) that you have no choice but to be a player because of the nature of ALL women these days.
The pedistal comment was meant for the other reply.

And yeah that's why I broke up with her was for reason #1 there. Naturally it went exactly as expected, I bagged some dimes had some fun. However, in retrospect I wish I'd have at least tried to make it work with her. The value changed over time I suppose, but damn it I feel pretty foolish.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Bassic said:
How do you guys feel about dating after losing your white buffalo?
There's no such thing as a white buffalo. Just like guys look at a girl they've NEVER talked to, and imagine she's PERFECT, guys can remember a girl they've dated AS IF she (and the relationship) were perfect.

Your mind is playing tricks on you. You're remembering ONLY the good times, through a false history frame.

Six Months is still the "Honeymoon phase," which means you were BOTH on your best behavior (unconsciously) which means you were BOTH not being completely honest with each other (unconsciously).

The "White Buffalo" you remember ONLY EXISTS IN YOUR MIND.

She isn't real.

EVEN THE VERY BEST RELATIONSHIPS have horrible moments of hatred, deception and vicious intent. THAT IS HUMAN NATURE.

You saw some normal buffalo, but because the timing was right, the light was right, the sun was glinting, you had a boner, you IMAGINED it was the mythical White Buffalo.

If you continue to believe in the White Buffalo, you will see ALL GIRLS compared to an IMAGINARY CONSTRUCT which doesn't exist.

Get rid of the IMAGINARY CONSTRUCT, and ALL GIRLS will necessarily look much better.
 

glass half full

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whatever you are considering as a "White Buffalo", Is probably a thin disguise at best. This might be good for his ego among others, but he is probably an unhappy man nonetheless. The kind of gals who grab these guys are the type that will make a man miserable, and care less.

Don't even be concerned.
 
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