Ex-gfs wanting you to be their emotional tampon.

I have a couple females that i used to date. We were sexually active until they moved away. Now they want to continue talking to me as if they lived nearby. They want to call me almost everyday as if we are still dating. They tell me about their day and the new guys in their life. When i tell them i dont want to talk to them anymore becuz i am not interested in a LDR, they start to cry and say that i am not a good friend. These are girls that were my girlfriends and we used to f**k.

Its like women need male emotional support so badly that they will hold on to you even if they are states away. They have to talk to you about ALL their problems including their romantic ones. I tell them that its not fair to me. I do not want to talk to them anymore becuz they are so far away. I especially dont want to talk to them if they are telling me about ex boyfriends etc. Thirdly i dont want to talk to them anymore becuz i cant have sex with them due to logistics. Somehow i am a bad guy for this. They say that i should be a friend first and a lover second? WTF! What are you thoughts?

Dear Pandora,
Yeah I have this quite a bit...In general you have been Friend Zoned...sorry but their female mates give them emotional support,and they trust you to do the same,yeah crazy...I still give them a bit of Jam,why not? and guess what?I get a lot of action that way!

Simple: Stop answering the phone when they call.

Scaramouche said:

Dear Pandora,
Yeah I have this quite a bit...In general you have been Friend Zoned...sorry but their female mates give them emotional support,and they trust you to do the same,yeah crazy...I still give them a bit of Jam,why not? and guess what?I get a lot of action that way!

Click to expand...

Scaramouche i hope its not the real friendzone. Because im pretty sure if they came back into town i can still f***. But ur right their friends are supposed to give emotional support, not an ex-boyfriend.

MikeOck said:

Simple: Stop answering the phone when they call.

Click to expand...

When you do that they send you all types of crazy emails and texts asking why are you ignoring them etc...Then they try to pull the guilt trip over text message saying that you dont care about them. They one even contacted a mutual friend asking why i dont want to talk to her anymore.

Females are literally addicted to male attention. The more unstable they are the more addicted. But i will stop answering the phone or texts.

Pandora said:

When you do that they send you all types of crazy emails and texts asking why are you ignoring them etc...Then they try to pull the guilt trip over text message saying that you dont care about them. They one even contacted a mutual friend asking why i dont want to talk to her anymore.

Females are literally addicted to male attention. The more unstable they are the more addicted. But i will stop answering the phone or texts.

Click to expand...

If you ignore it all long enough, it will cease. Either keep communication or discontinue it. It seems you want their attention but not in the way you are currently getting it.

Can you lead the conversation somewhere else?
Having a girl talk about relationship problems to you is probably the worst as you have been moved to girlfriend status. If you have them on the backburner as potential fu*ks revisited break it up with trying to lead it into phone sex as a laugh. You just need enough to stoke the fire till they breeze back into town.

As a general rule I don't like talking on the phone for long. But with some girls(distance) I have been with and developed a pretty solid friendship - I don't mind having a chat.

Every now and then one will start to drone on about the current relationship and I will try and break it up with a:
"Wow that's terrible (sarcastically joking tone), so what are you wearing"
and laugh. This breaks their current state pretty hard.
I then pay a compliment from any recent photos they have sent. (You look tight in such and such a dress). You can generally tell which photos they have posted in which they are their most confident and that's the emotional hook to layer on.

And I then tell them how awesome I am.
The whole thing is done jokingly to the point they feel naughty enough to play along. I have basically used the same conversation on my part with dozens of girls now, and am set when they come back to town.

Have a conversation direction plan beforehand so that if you feel the conversation turning into a tampon fest you can direct it out of there. But only be bothered making an effort with women you have a long term purpose for. The 2nd and 3rd convo's can be more difficult as its a fine line between them getting too emotionally attached or just them being DTF.

If you are going to invest time into anything, make sure it has a purpose to obtain a certain outcome.

If its a girl I'm not interested in then I just shut the convo down with "I'm just heading out"

hithard said it well IMO.

You either go NC 100% or you talk to them and saturate the conversation with all of the other women you have been seeing/b@nging. And dont give them a chance to talk.