I Learned Something Interesting About Dating Single Moms

I just ended a LTR with a single mom. Don't worry, I'm not heartbroken in the least. As a single dad of one child, I've never been opposed to dating single moms of one child. However, more than one kid is too much.

So anyway, this chick had a lot of good qualities. But I'm here to focus on the really bad one that made me realize that she wasn't the correct woman for me...

Your kid isn't more important than my kid

And that's it. I mean this in a "relationship" sense.

I know it's usually a bad decision to get involved with a woman who's a single mother, but the typical single mother problems that I've experienced before weren't there. I figured I'd give it a shot and potentially learn something from it.

Both kids need to be treated equally for the relationship to function

I cannot stress how important this is. When my kid was getting gypped, a red flag popped up. If she wants her kid to be treated well, she has to do the same. That being said, I've been with childless women who treat my kid better than this single mom did.

I've had my opinion of single moms tarnished in previous examples, and this one doesn't make it any better. I don't regret getting involved with her, and I don't regret getting rid of her either. Both me and my boy need to be treated at least fairly. Take fairness away from either of us, and you're bound to be sent back to the "unwanted" category.

I've always supported the notion that Single Dads should hook up with Single Moms, you guys could form the Brady Bunch lol. But yes, you both have to approach the relationship without favoritism towards any child, that would allow the children to also gain rapport faster seeing the other one as a "sibling" rather than "that other kid".

Next.

MidnightCity said:

i consider this just another form of western child worship.

lately ive been more vocal even in the real world about my opinion of this which is children being treated as more important than people.

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It's interesting that you bring this up. My view of parenting was always "I'm more important than my child. If I don't take care of myself, my child won't have anybody to take care of him."

I used to be of the viewpoint that single parents should date other single parents, but I've tried many times and have found women without kids to be the better option.

Go to the Philippines dude, at least you'll be able to meet a girl there who has some core family values. Dating Canadian women? Questionable... Dating Canadian single moms? Desperate/Insane.

Excellent thread. I dumped a single mommy I was dating in 07 for this very reason. Everything to do with her son was pedistalized, while everything with my daughter was downplayed. It got to where if I took my daughter out to eat by ourselves she would get mad that her golden boy didn't get invited too. We were just dating, not like we lived together. Towards the end she started ripping into me and my ex wife as parents, which I didn't take kindly to because my ex wife is a great mother, and I am a great father. It was hard to dump her cuz everything else was awesome but I just couldn't put up with this.

The marriages I have seen between single mothers and fathers that have really lasted have involved both parents eventually adopting the other one's child as their own. Typically, the replaced parent was completely out of the picture and had no interest in the kid anyway.

MidnightCity said:

a couple of months ago some poor guy exiting the subway station tripped and fell over becuase some tiny toddler was running ahead of his mom and randomly stopped short in front of him. you can tell the guy did his best to avoid the kids path but it was too late and he had to eat it because he also had to avoid falling over on the kid. the mom apologized but that shouldnt have happened at all. can you imagine if the guy fell on the kid and the kid got hurt?

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Whenever some little kid is running out of control towards me, I just freeze and let the kid bounce off my leg. The Mommie always apologizes.

Dating single mothers? Just say NO!