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What would YOU do?

Fireballs

Fireballs

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My current girlfriend kindly gave me her old laptop a few months ago when mine broke and to use it you need to enter a password. She gave me this and I thought to myself, ''I wonder if she uses this pw for other stuff?''

I entered it into her facebook and bingo it worked. But, I Immediately logged out without reading any messages and haven't ever gone back into it since it just feels wrong. I regret even trying and logging in in the first place even though I didn't snoop.

This was a few months ago and in that time it has crossed my mind a couple of times whether I should ''check up'' on her and read her messages. I have no reason to believe she is cheating, however I am moving to a new town for work and she can't come up for 6 weeks so we will be apart for that time. Do you think it is ok to check up on your girl once in a while or not?

What would YOU do?
 
AttackFormation

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I would be worried for my own sake just because I'm considering it. Would Aragorn, James Bond or Rocky sit and snoop around some girl's facebook account to check up on her? the thought would pass straight out of their mind. Then why would you? do you want to be the little "man"?
 
Desdinova

Desdinova

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Keep the password for a time when things are seeming suspicious. It can help prevent wasting your time with a lengthy end to your relationship.

BTW, that's how I found out my wife was cheating on me. I found out about 2 weeks after it had begun. It could have been dragged out longer if I didn't look into her suspicious activity.
 
AttackFormation

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Desdinova said:
Keep the password for a time when things are seeming suspicious. It can help prevent wasting your time with a lengthy end to your relationship.

BTW, that's how I found out my wife was cheating on me. I found out about 2 weeks after it had begun. It could have been dragged out longer if I didn't look into her suspicious activity.
Click to expand...
Agreed with this... only do it if you have good reason to. Not just because you can...
 
Fireballs

Fireballs

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Desdinova said:
Keep the password for a time when things are seeming suspicious. It can help prevent wasting your time with a lengthy end to your relationship.

BTW, that's how I found out my wife was cheating on me. I found out about 2 weeks after it had begun. It could have been dragged out longer if I didn't look into her suspicious activity.
Click to expand...
This was my thinking also. To only look if my gut tells me something is up.

I just wanted to hear what other people would do/have done.
 
V

vinkoch

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Was in same situation years ago OP. Checked her MySpace. Found out she cheated on me a year prior. Nothing suspicious at that time.
Not telling you to snoop. Not trying to make you insecure. Just sayin things are f'd up in life. You either trust her or snoop. You'll only feel bad if she's not hiding anything, which is funny because thats what you want to know so you feel better.
 
K

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This one's a slippery slope. I keylogged a home computer years ago and caught suspicious stuff my ex was doing. I know that if I "think I need to check" then things are pretty much messed up. If something tells you that you need to do that you don't have much trust. That's a huge flag. Yellow if not red. On a positive note if she trusts you with her computer/password she isn't a hider. That's good. Last woman I dated was a open book. She never hid anything. When they are head over tea kettle for you, they won't play games.
KC
 
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speed dawg

speed dawg

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Desdinova said:
Keep the password for a time when things are seeming suspicious. It can help prevent wasting your time with a lengthy end to your relationship.

BTW, that's how I found out my wife was cheating on me. I found out about 2 weeks after it had begun. It could have been dragged out longer if I didn't look into her suspicious activity.
Click to expand...
I agree with this. Never hurts to have a little nugget like this in your back pocket.

Now, this here has validity:
AttackFormation said:
I would be worried for my own sake just because I'm considering it. Would Aragorn, James Bond or Rocky sit and snoop around some girl's facebook account to check up on her? the thought would pass straight out of their mind. Then why would you? do you want to be the little "man"?
Click to expand...
BUT.....it's still not a bad thing to have a way to research things just in case you draw up a suspicion. I mean, come one, we don't ALL want to be PUAs forever, some may want to have an LTR or marriage one day. Need to be able to do your homework effectively.
 
E

Epimanes

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I would say... Your not married to her so she has no real obligation to you. It would be best to be honest and upfront about it. If you guys are agreeing to being exclusive... Then say something like "hey babe.. Since we are exclusive let's give eachother our passwords and free reign to check on eachother anytime". If she says no... Then she is likely hiding something if she says yes.. Then do it.. If you don't want her to have your passwords.. Then don't ask.. And don't bother snooping. (What's good for the goose is good for the gander) give eachother more time to develop the relationship and bring it up another day far into the future. You can't control her anyways..

Edit: my wife and I share passwords.. If she felt like it she could go to anysite I visit and read what I say... She can log into my facebook... Log into my bank... Log into anything really.. I can do the same. We hide nothing from eachother.
 
Desdinova

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There are always good reasons to collect information about the people in your life, even the most personal things. There are very few bad reasons for doing so. The main bad reason you'll encounter is guilt which is just an emotional consequence rather than a financial or physical consequence.

The best reason(s) I've encountered for collecting and keeping information like this were found in an ebook I read which was essentially a manual for cheating on your wife. Here's the quote:

The pen can be mightier than the sword in a number of different ways. For one thing, the use of swords usually ends in substantial jail time. A pen can tell the truth you want it to, and in conjunction with a log book is pretty convincing evidence. Most of what I'm going to talk about here is rather clandestine. The first thing you want to do, is gather basic information about the people in your immediate circle; this includes your mistress. The information you will need includes: name; date of birth; social security number; their car’s license place number; blood type; where they were born; school(s) they attended; who they dated and when; when they got married; if they were divorced and where; properties they own; memberships they have or had; friends and mutual friends; where they bank; account number (can be gotten off of a check); email accounts; preferences for food, women, sexual fantasies; if they smoke, what brand...etc. You can later augment information by collecting physical elements such as fingerprints (you can get them from a lighter, matchbook, money, or a glass), and maybe a small blood sample. This is a lot of work and is most safely done over a period of time. You are basically creating a dossier on the people around you. In the event they become a threat, their vulnerabilities become very apparent. You can also use some of the information such as fingerprints, to determine if it was your wife who left that vibrator out.

You will need to update this collection of information from time to time with notable events which you believe may become useful later on if things turn out: Not Quite So Nice. If you have violated one of the first cannons of having an affair, which is not to tell anyone, you have become personally, painfully aware that affairs may also be used as blackmail against you. When someone wants something from you, or wants you to perform in a certain way, you will be damn glad you kept that office party picture of ol’ Ted doing the naked bunny hop with the copy repair guy.
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Note that it not only mentions for you to keep information like this about your lover, but also those who are within your social realm.
 
?

( . )( . )

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AttackFormation said:
Would Aragorn, James Bond or Rocky sit and snoop around some girl's facebook account to check up on her?
Click to expand...
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, when we embrace the poz and log onto her facebook, but it is not this day.
 
W

Warrior74

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AttackFormation said:
I would be worried for my own sake just because I'm considering it. Would Aragorn, James Bond or Rocky sit and snoop around some girl's facebook account to check up on her? the thought would pass straight out of their mind. Then why would you? do you want to be the little "man"?
Click to expand...

Would Lex Luthor, Dr. Doom, or Hans Gruber check her account? Of course they would, then if she failed them, they would dispose of her as a lesson in ruthlessness. Zero fvcks given. I mean since we are indulging in fatansy. In the real world, heroes don't get a guaranteed win. But being prepared like an evil villain gets you everything. America spies on friends and allies and we are number 1. Be an American!
 
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Tenacity

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Lol, every woman cheats. The key is finding a chick that respects you to some EXTENT to not just keep cheating on you on a consistent basis.

Snoop on her all you want, doesn't mean you will "find anything" and just because you didn't find anything that doesn't mean the cheating isn't going on. Women are the most sophisticated cheaters.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, every man believes that their "soul mate" would NEVER do such a thing....:rolleyes:
 
M

Married Buried

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I would have looked in a heartbeat. I have been around enough to not trust any of them. You are simply verifying, no harm in that.
 
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