Rejected after first date kiss close

LMFAO · Oct 12, 2014

Went out with this girl I met online to a cool ****tail bar on Friday night. Had a couple of rounds of drinks and we talked for 2-3 hours. Conversation was sometimes I feel slightly too serious about family and religion and stuff but overall she was leaning forward and said how much she was enjoying it, that I'm a "cool guy" and that we get along well. From past experience I know much of that stuff could just be nonsense and didn't take it to heart. She was smiling and joking a lot of the time. At the end of the night walked to train station holding her hand, kissed her goodnight (initially she gave me her cheek) once then went in to kiss again and said goodnight.

Texted her a couple of days later, no bull**** just to set up the next date. She said she doesn't want to see me again, and good luck. I half expected it since women are so flaky these days and with continuous changes in feelings. What do you make of this? Why on earth would she kiss someone she's not interested in?

Tictac · Oct 12, 2014

'Cause ..... girl.

Move on.

VladPatton · Oct 12, 2014

That's what they do. She could of been flat out bored. Chicks will suck your schlong and swallow your man chowder for an entire night, then text you she doesn't wanna see you again. It happens.

LMFAO · Oct 12, 2014

I suppose I will just have to go all out next time.

The previous two "first dates" I've had involved a girl who rejected me to go to drinks inviting me to a hotel because she's "hungry", suffice to say I banged her all night that night, it developed into a proper relationship for several months and she later admitted she thought it would just be a one night stand. The other girl I met on first date online I met last weekend, there was this dirty talk via text and I ended up picking her up and banging her in the backseat of my car and cu**** in her mouth just how she liked it.

Maybe I just didn't go far enough and should have finger f***** her in the bar and taken her home with me.

I read this earlier which is really to the point:

So, guys acting like jerks to get into a relationship? Ladies, get used to the idea that the guy who you’d consider for a monogamous relationship is going to at least start off with asserting his pseudo-jerk cred. This is the logical reaction for a guy who’s been so consistently flaked on using the Nice Guy route that he fearlessly experimented with the Jerk energy and was more consistently rewarded with your intimacy and attention. And gentlemen, get used to more flakes, it’s a symbiotic self-perpetuating dynamic.

I really don’t see how this is at all shocking to anyone, women get the men they create.

Now take all that to the extreme as Roosh has done, even insisting that if he kiss closes on the first meeting, odds are she’ll flake, and you can see the tears of desperation welling up in the eyes of AFCs and lower SMV women who thinking they bear the brunt of their sister’s cruelty. The bar just got set even higher for chumps everywhere as they were beginning to think Game could be their panacea.

As technology expands (social networking for example) women are finding new avenues to satisfy their attention cravings. They’re vicariously living more and more in the virtual than the actual, and finding an ability to really connect becomes blurred. In the future, Game is going to have to develop ways to break into that blurring and leave a lasting impression in the “real world”. Depending upon the circumstances, a first night lay should leave a lasting impression, but this illustrates the bigger point in that women are becoming increasingly less receptive and responsive to anything less than a sufficiently immediate shock to their dulling sensibilities. A woman outright flaking on a guy is now met with no more concern than if she’d unfriended or put someone on ignore on Face Book. That’s the association now, while at the same time she’s receiving positive reinforcement from any number of virtual sources online.

http://therationalmale.com/2011/11/01/get-used-to-jerks-and-flakes/

LMFAO · Oct 16, 2014

Well it's happened again, second time in a week.

Went out for drinks with another girl from online dating, had a blast. Kissed her goodnight, texted her a couple of days later. Never hard back. Jesus Christ.

MOTU · Oct 16, 2014

So this is the disadvantage of OLD, in my experience anyway. The women are already in screening mode. They are wondering what you're looking for and they are picking apart your every word and behavior to see if you meet whatever their preset criteria is for an acceptable dude to provide there provisioning and security.

This is the benefit of meeting chicks in the real world. They're not as likely to have all their filters as aggressively engaged and that may give you a better chance to actually get to know them.

I did pretty well at online dating and got some decent lays out of it but I think the higher flake rate and the more judge mental chicks are just part of the playing field.

MtnMan · Oct 16, 2014

agreed with all posts above, mainly "because girl"

I've had several dates like this, no big deal. I had one GREAT date with a girl that a mutual friend introduced me to. Had a healthy make out at the end, made plans to hang again later, never heard from her again.
Whatever, because girl.

Eco-J · Oct 16, 2014

So this is the thread that got me to finally register on this site. I've also had this happen a bunch with on-line dates. A couple times I've been shocked, others less so. And in fairness, there have been "heat of the moment" times when, despite a kiss-close, after a couple days I can't be bothered following up myself. There are just so many other options out there - on both sides.

OLD first dates are screening interviews. But I have been thinking that if things are going well enough that we're doing a 2-3 hour date I need to be more direct in putting the come back to my place option out there at the end instead of just kiss-close and escalate next time.

nismo-4 · Oct 16, 2014

LMFAO said:
Well it's happened again, second time in a week.

Went out for drinks with another girl from online dating, had a blast. Kissed her goodnight, texted her a couple of days later. Never hard back. Jesus Christ.

Here's the rub.

You had a blast. She didn't. You have failed. She would've called back if she had interest.

Case closed.

LMFAO · Oct 17, 2014

I guess I have been making mistakes, although it's not always clear what. Third girl this week. I didn't use too much of game, or maybe I did - I looked quite disinterested for half of it even despite her having a killer body. I let her do most of the talking and just asked questions. Didn't make any stupid compliments like liking her watch.

Exited the bar, held her hand. Kiss closed, touched up her arse, she giggled. At least this one knew how to kiss.

Second date is on.

Jeremymichael · Oct 27, 2014

sounds like my recent experiences!

Albatross953 · Oct 27, 2014

Just have a good time, and quit worrying if you see an online chick again. Its literally their loss not yours.

smooth_as_silk · Oct 28, 2014

With this low quality of chicks (i.e. online, bars, nightclubs), you gotta push hard for the bang on the 1st encounter.
If you don't get it, delete the number...

sosuave213 · Dec 30, 2023

nismo-4 said:
Here's the rub.

You had a blast. She didn't. You have failed. She would've called back if she had interest.

Case closed.

This, this and this.

BackInTheGame78 · Dec 31, 2023

LMFAO said:
Well it's happened again, second time in a week.

Went out for drinks with another girl from online dating, had a blast. Kissed her goodnight, texted her a couple of days later. Never hard back. Jesus Christ.

It's a numbers game. You should always be building a pipeline of new women in different stages from sending the first message, to getting her number after a few messages, to setting up new dates.

Also, if a woman doesn't text you after a date by the next morning her interest is usually low and there won't be another date...just my experience.

Failure to accept how this process actually works and that you need to be constantly building a pipeline is where most men fail at OLD and dating in general.

This shouldn't phase you, you should have 2-3 more dates already lined up with other women and more women you are messaging on the app you haven't gotten numbers from yet.

Always assume until you fvck a woman you'll never see her again and when this stuff happens it will simply be in line with your assumptions and not even be a blip on your radar.

Having a great date means nothing. Kissing a woman means nothing. Makeout sessions mean nothing. Her stroking your c0ck in a car means nothing. Her giving you a BJ means nothing.

All of these things have happened on first dates to me and I've never seen the woman again. It is what it is. If you are going to let it bother you, it's going to be really rough in the dating world for you.

Slowhandluke · Jan 1, 2024

LMFAO said:
Well it's happened again, second time in a week.

Went out for drinks with another girl from online dating, had a blast. Kissed her goodnight, texted her a couple of days later. Never hard back. Jesus Christ.

she's dating multiple Chad's. she enjoyed your company, but let's be honest, she's on the c0ck carousel. heck, she might not even know this herself but her actions speak louder than words.. how would you act if you were being bombarded by hot girls every minute... women that want to suck your richard. that's basically her situation.

you should never treat a semi-attractive girl seriously on dating apps. they have an unwarranted "abundance" mind set. give it a while, but she's on her way to the "where have all the good men gone?"

only women in your social circle should you expect more from. they have more to lose.

Bingo-Player · Jan 2, 2024

As others have said theres usually very good reason as to why a chick with any amount of beauty is on a dating app

Attractive women don't generally need to be on them they are going to get hit on at the gym , at work , in the library , walking the dog whatever

if they are its usually because they dont know what they want or they want a level of man that they can't get in the real world

You really have to make one hell of an impression to stand out and your character has to be absolutely water tight

During 2023 I went on 3 dates with very average boring girls who seemed to think they were going to bag some sort of Ryan Gosling character they had nothing to really offer

From the second I met all of them I could tell they were itching to disqualify me , I wasn't interested anyway but my god it was exhausting

You dont get any real sense of reward from matching and meeting girls online , I know its an easy route but you never learn anything from it and often leave feeling more confused than when you started

conversely I did over 100 cold approaches and learnt A LOT , ive almost completely revamped my approach and my game now

SargeMaximus · Jan 2, 2024

I’m gonna be real with you: she didn’t want to kiss you but you tried again and she figured “I’d better give him what he wants so he doesn’t freak out and I can get out of here”

FlexpertHamilton · Jan 2, 2024

Once you stop using autistic PUA terms like kiss close you'll do better.

manfrombelow · Jan 4, 2024

LMFAO said:
Went out with this girl I met online to a cool ****tail bar on Friday night. Had a couple of rounds of drinks and we talked for 2-3 hours.

1. Unless she spoke at least 80% (and you 20%) of the conversation, then 2-3 hours is simply too fvcking much.

Conversation was sometimes I feel slightly too serious about family and religion and stuff

2. Bad move. Conversations with chicks (any chicks) are supposed to be light, fun, and relaxing, not about "serious stuff".

but overall she was leaning forward and said how much she was enjoying it, that I'm a "cool guy" and that we get along well.

3. What a girl verbally says should not matter if she doesn't let you kiss or fvck her.

At the end of the night walked to train station holding her hand, kissed her goodnight (initially she gave me her cheek) once then went in to kiss again and said goodnight.

4. So did you or did you not tongue kiss her? A cheek kiss equals no kiss at all.

Texted her a couple of days later, no bull**** just to set up the next date.

5. Normally, if everything is done correctly at the 1st date, it's the chick who's supposed to contact you first, and then you make the 2nd date offer. If you initiate text after investing time & money on the 1st date only to beg her to show up at the 2nd date, it's very likely you have already lost the battle without even knowing it.

She said she doesn't want to see me again, and good luck.

6. Be grateful she at least told you straightly about her intention, instead of leading you on like a puppy.

What do you make of this? Why on earth would she kiss someone she's not interested in?

7. Read everything again. She simply wasn't that into you. Suck it up, move on, and improve your Game next times.

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