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Dating for a month, last date went best of all.. now nothing.

nunyaballs

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I'll try to keep this short, but it's not a short story.

Just got back into dating after 4 years, and the 3rd chick I dated ended up being pretty awesome. We've been dating for about a month and it has had it's ups and downs.

She doesn't like me sharing information about us, so I wont. but we were with a large group of friends and I made a joke in an attempt to draw her into the conversation and kind of tease her... I tease the girls I like. She got offended.

2 days pass with a few text messages inbetween with me explaining how I didn't mean to offend her, like her, and just wanted to get some of her attention. I ask her out to a picnic, she loves the idea. I show up with everything. perfect picnic. she seems so happy and is telling me how adorable and flattered she is. taking pictures and sending them to her friends. we have an amazing 2 hours on all accounts. Since we started out pretty fast, but having problems since I'm trying to take the relationship slow, date ends in the longest hug of my life. Later that night she invites me to her friends house. things go great again, we spend the night at my place just cuddling.

We've already been intimate before, and in the morning I go for it again, but she tells me she likes me too much for it to be just a sexual thing and she wants to take her time. she leaves, after work I text her an inside joke, no answer. before bed ask how her day was, no answer. today I called, no answer.

Weird thing is we've had fights, and I know if she's mad at me. and she's said from the beginning that she's not one to just leave someone in the dark.

I dunno, guessing I should just let her contact me and move on. Just sucks having no idea what happened.
 

Albatross953

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What happened is you were more into it than she was. You said so yourself....we had ups and downs. That's man speak for I'm rationalizing her lack of interest. Not taking a shot at you, we've all been there.

Be busy, spin plates, let her come to you.
 

El Payaso

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She knows she can whistle at any y time and like the good little dog that you are, you will happily prance into her play yard for another round of confusion.

You demonstrated to her that you have no self worth by trying to apologize for a harmless joke, trying to appease her, being too available and jumping at any opportunity to hang out with her.

Right now, you are not a priority to her and constantly texting and calling her helps to solidify her mentality and choice to ignore you. The more you act needy to her, the more she will be disgusted and withdraw even further.

In my honest opinion, I will tell you to dump/next this girl. She is playing games with you because she knows she can get away with it. Delete her number, start dating other girls and do not respond to any of her calls or texts.

The reality is that you will probably do the opposite and jump as soon as she calls you. Sad...
 

Tiguere

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Yea op.. Stop apologizing like a lil b1tch. Become THE JERK ladies love to hate
 

The_411

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nunyaballs said:
I'll try to keep this short, but it's not a short story.

Just got back into dating after 4 years, and the 3rd chick I dated ended up being pretty awesome. We've been dating for about a month and it has had it's ups and downs.

She doesn't like me sharing information about us, so I wont. Umm, think about how this sentence sounds. Do what you want to do. This sentence right here tells us everything we need to know.Now if said I prefer not to go into detail fine, but the fact that you mentioned that she told you not to do it is just poor. but we were with a large group of friends and I made a joke in an attempt to draw her into the conversation and kind of tease her... I tease the girls I like. She got offended. Could be a clue that's she's not worth the time, unless you're terrible at teasing or you socially mis-calibrated get offended shouldn't come up unless she's got no sense of humor.
2 days pass with a few text messages inbetween with me explaining how I didn't mean to offend her, like her, and just wanted to get some of her attention. I ask her out to a picnic, she loves the idea. I show up with everything. perfect picnic. she seems so happy and is telling me how adorable and flattered she is. taking pictures and sending them to her friends. we have an amazing 2 hours on all accounts. Since we started out pretty fast, but having problems since I'm trying to take the relationship slow, date ends in the longest hug of my life. Later that night she invites me to her friends house. things go great again, we spend the night at my place just cuddling.

We've already been intimate before, and in the morning I go for it again, but she tells me she likes me too much for it to be just a sexual thing and she wants to take her time. she leaves, after work I text her an inside joke, no answer. before bed ask how her day was, no answer. today I called, no answer.

Weird thing is we've had fights, and I know if she's mad at me. and she's said from the beginning that she's not one to just leave someone in the dark.

I dunno, guessing I should just let her contact me and move on. Just sucks having no idea what happened.
Ok dude, hugs and cuddles aren't sexy unless you're that little bear in the Snuggle commercials.

"I love you too much to have sex?" = I'm turn off by your behavior and I want you to be my orbiter and plaything because you're too much of pvssy to dominate me like I really want to be dominated.

Basically you fit the he's giving me attention and the hot bad boy isn't and I want to have attention and hook up profile.

She's off the map because she met a guy who wasn't afraid to tell her f off when she was acting like a **** and leaves if she pulls the I love you too much to have sex crap.
 

cordoncordon

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nunyaballs said:
I'll try to keep this short, but it's not a short story.

Just got back into dating after 4 years, and the 3rd chick I dated ended up being pretty awesome. We've been dating for about a month and it has had it's ups and downs.

She doesn't like me sharing information about us, so I wont. but we were with a large group of friends and I made a joke in an attempt to draw her into the conversation and kind of tease her... I tease the girls I like. She got offended.

2 days pass with a few text messages inbetween with me explaining how I didn't mean to offend her, like her, and just wanted to get some of her attention. I ask her out to a picnic, she loves the idea. I show up with everything. perfect picnic. she seems so happy and is telling me how adorable and flattered she is. taking pictures and sending them to her friends. we have an amazing 2 hours on all accounts. Since we started out pretty fast, but having problems since I'm trying to take the relationship slow, date ends in the longest hug of my life. Later that night she invites me to her friends house. things go great again, we spend the night at my place just cuddling.

We've already been intimate before, and in the morning I go for it again, but she tells me she likes me too much for it to be just a sexual thing and she wants to take her time. she leaves, after work I text her an inside joke, no answer. before bed ask how her day was, no answer. today I called, no answer.

Weird thing is we've had fights, and I know if she's mad at me. and she's said from the beginning that she's not one to just leave someone in the dark.

I dunno, guessing I should just let her contact me and move on. Just sucks having no idea what happened.
So many issues here. Let me go over them.

You have been dating only a month and have had many ups and downs. Not good. First few months of any relationship should be ups only. People are on their best behavior. So to have this many downs? Big red flag.

You text and beg and placate to her after your teasing joke. That puts you in a terrible position of weakness. Women HATE weakness. Don't do this.

Picnic where you basically cater to her every need. Nothing wrong with treating a women you like well, but you are going overboard and doing this only because you think you messed up and want to kiss her azz. Don't do this.

I don't believe you have had sex with her. I know you say you have, but your actions speak otherwise. Taking it slow? Longest hug of my life? Cuddling all night??? These are things women do and say. Not men.

After this picnic you keep pestering her with phone calls and texts, like a love struck school boy. How many times do you need to get your balls handed to you before you start asking for them back? You might as well just slice off your manhood and present them to her on a silver platter, because trust me, she thinks you are WEAK. A pvssy of a man. And then you end this by again talking about all of the fights you have had with this women in just one month. I can't even imagine. My wife and I had maybe 3 disagreements in 6 years. If you are fighting like this now, imagine 6 month from now?


My advice is to totally forget this woman, and the next one you meet and date? Everything you have done as far as being a wuss, afc, basically the girl in the relationship? Do the opposite.

Good luck.
 

GS750

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Do not initiate any more contact with this girl. If she wants to get in touch with you she has your number. Basically walk away. If she contacts you down the road then try and reconnect with her. Showing you're willing to walk away may get her to come back, maybe not. But you get to keep your balls. Good luck.
 

nunyaballs

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I deleted her number after reading the sticky, gave it to a friend to hold onto but told him not to give it to me for at least a month. I'll delete/ignore any messages I might get from her.

I just hate these games, it's not my style at all. I'm more of an honest and straightforward guy. If I like you I want you to know, and I want to make you happy, but yea unfortunately with just about every girl thats not what they want (even though they all claim it is).

I was definitely a ***** with her, but I'm 8 years removed from dating. 4 years in a serious relationship, then 4 years where I just didn't try or want to get involved.

I've dated like 4 chicks in the past month, but 2 of them I've had zero interest in (and of course 1 of those is head over heals for me. the other one it seems was looking for a puppy, but I had no interest in playing the part.) 1 of em was just a ***** looking for a free meal. But this one I really liked right off the start, and she seemed to feel the same way. hooked up the first time we met, and did so for a week, then she started getting pissed about stupid ****. like me telling my best friend about how I accidently threw her off the bed during sex, and how she woke herself up from surgery to an orgasm from dreaming of me eating her out. I opened by stupid mouth and told her how my friend thought it was hysterical and awesome, but she was pissed I was telling my best friend about our sex life. he's my bestfriend, we talk about everything. he's not gonna go running his mouth around town. she had no reason to be pissed. She was testing how far she could push me and still have me on a leash, she won.

since then though I just became the apologetic ***** and gave her control.

I need help with finding new girls. I've exhausted my tinder matches, and I'm not much for going to bars and have no clue how to pick-up a chick I meet out and about.

and I really do love cuddling, i'd cuddle strangers on the bus during our ride if it was acceptable. feels good having a girl in your arms, and being pressed up against them in bed. She was the one who hugged me forever after our last date.. I even commented "this is a really long hug" and stopped hugging her, but she kept hugging me.
 

Dreesy

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"i'd cuddle strangers on the bus during our ride if it was acceptable"

I laughed.

But seriously, you sound like you are too invested and available with this girl, so she doesn't feel the heat.

You made a good choice getting rid of her number, just get back to focusing on yourself and meet more women. You'd be surprised what the universe will do for you when you just focus on yourself.
 

nunyaballs

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eh, I went 4 years focusing on myself and didn't get ****. I'm not the most attractive person, but definitely no where near least. I'm just not the type of person to meet randoms. so most girls I meet are coworkers or friend of a friend and off limits. I gotta know a girl before I'm sexually interested. sure there are a ton of chicks i'd like to bang, but I'm more interested in something real and long term
 

marmel75

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I have a sneaking suspicion you might be gay and not realize it...if not you might want to consider it because you are gonna be all these women's best friend, just like the gay guys they love...I mean the stuff you are talking about and saying you enjoy are women/gay guy like stuff

You need some serious, serious testosterone...get an entire vial and inject it all at once...and it might still not be enough...
 

nismo-4

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Your princess is in another castle. But you're free to swim in the water orbiting it.

Hey, this is what happens when she has low interest and you care too much. When a woman starts showing low interest or gets distant, I kick her to the curb, no questions asked. It's best to be the one doing it first.

Delete this b**ch if you haven't already. Don't respond to her. Block her on every platform. She doesn't want sex. The furthest you'll get from her is being a friend/ beta orbiter. You can do better. Judge nismo says.

Case closed.
 

Krueg

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It doesnt matter why she dumped you, you cannt read woman anyways so dont worry about it. Dont think of it as being "dumped", you dodged a bullet! No successful man ended up marrying their first "girlfriend". Time to move on and take this as a learning experience and improve you. The next girl will be all over you!
 

hudpes

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nunyaballs, I hope you're hurt by this affair, I hope you've learned the lesson (man up, don't be so considerate and servile, do what YOU want, don't bend every which way they seem to want you to and most of all, don't be scared as hell of losing the girl) and can move on. I think you're still not ready, you just got a wake up call, so I HOPE, you'll go down burning again (and do it soon), another lesson, man up MORE. If it goes well, eventually you'll come out a stronger man with an armor around the soft bits, you'll meet the right person and you won't mess up, and if they mess up, it won't mess you up, you'll be able to move on quicker, wounds will heal faster. These short term lessons are great, imagine if a girl would tolerate you like that or use you for it for a year, or many years, you'd be totally unaware and stuck in place, be grateful she only took a month to quit you.

And don't worry about finding the right one. Just go, move, grow, eyes and heart open regardless of what lies ahead, no regrets for the past, only gratefulness.
 

nunyaballs

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I'm not hurt by it, just hate the fact that these kinds of games seem to be necessary. if you like someone, let them know and show them, but apparently the worlds as shi-ty as it seems and everyone plays games with one another. I'll let this chick simmer for awhile, but I was honestly happier as a human being not dating, so i'll prolly just beat my dik like it owes me money and avoid drama like the plague.
 

AtheGreat

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nunyaballs said:
I'm not hurt by it, just hate the fact that these kinds of games seem to be necessary. if you like someone, let them know and show them, but apparently the worlds as shi-ty as it seems and everyone plays games with one another. I'll let this chick simmer for awhile, but I was honestly happier as a human being not dating, so i'll prolly just beat my dik like it owes me money and avoid drama like the plague.
Dunno but my opinion is you shouldnt lose your breath for this one, not simmer or burn it, case is closed from start. Is all done, move on since you where happier before.

Only thing that should matter now is your self and not how she ''played'' yo ass.
 
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