I did good... now the real test starts

I think I've done pretty well, fellas.

I've met a woman whom for most of my life I would have considered to be out of my league. I'm not putting her on a pedestal; she's human just like everybody else and probably does things that will drive me crazy one day but in the meantime I'm delighted to be with her.

In my eyes, she's a "9" and my friends think that she is hot which is nice of course - but not necessary. I'm proud to be seen with her in public. She's always one of the most attractive women in the room regardless of where we go. She's a little bit taller than me but it doesn't seem to bother her and it doesn't bother me. In fact, I told her that she could wear heels anytime that she wanted to and it wouldn't phase me one bit. She says that it was one of the most confident things that a man has ever said to her. Shorter men - take note!!

She's intelligent, educated, and successful (a lawyer) and earns nearly double what I do. She has no debt other than a few years left on her mortgage. She has no kids (though she likes them) and has never been married. She's generous, funny, and great in bed. We have so many things in common it's almost scary. I'm proud of her success but I make decent money too and can carry my own weight. I'm not gonna lie though - it's fun to date a woman who makes six figures.

I could go on but you get the idea. I don't want to give the impression that she IS out of my league - she's a reflection of me and what I have done to become a better man in the past year. She acts more impressed with me than I am with her - and that says a LOT. I want this to be more of a "build it and they will come" kind of thread than a self-congratulatory one.

So I'm giving up spinning plates to see where this leads. Her SMV is off the charts compared to the women that I usually meet. I'm well aware of oneitis and other AFC type behaviour which is why the caveat in the thread title exists. If it doesn't work out I'm not going to regress and lower my standards - I have proven to myself that I am worthy and deserve high SMV women.

The message that I want to get across to all of you is one of hope: make yourself a better, more attractive man and you WILL attract a better calibre of woman.

Good for you Teebear. :thumbsup: I like to hear stories like this.

Share with the rest of the younger DJs what self-improvements you undertook to raise the bar and never look back.

Also, how old is she?

Thanks, guru. I enjoy positive threads more than any other and wanted to share my little success story with you guys. Most of the advice that I followed came from this place. I started by reading the DJ Bible. GOOD stuff!

In a nutshell: I made myself as physically attractive as I could and replaced neediness with confidence. That meant getting into the gym regularly, replacing my crappy clothes with a small but stylish wardrobe, and developing an abundance mentality.

I bought a couple pair of good shoes, a few fitted long sleeve shirts and a few pairs of trousers, choosing colours that gave me the most mix-and-match options. Almost immediately, I noticed women checking me out when they thought I wasn't looking.

I also forced myself to stop putting attractive women on a pedestal and really opened my eyes for once. Gorgeous women were everywhere! Why get hung up on any one when there were so many to choose from? (This is what protects me from developing oneitis, incidentally - the sheer number of attractive women out there is staggering). It also helped me to stop me being so ga-ga with every attractive woman I talked to. They were easy on the eyes and all but they were not particularly special or rare after all!

Now, I've got a few things going in my favour. I play drums (demonstrates passion and ability) and I've got a decent job. I've got decent genes and haven't lost much, if any of my hair and that helps me to look younger than I am. My genes aren't that great however - I'm only 5'8". I've had to work that much harder because of my height but it is NOT worse than any other imperfection. It whittles down the pool a little but as I mentioned above, there are thousands of attractive, available women in my city.

My particular journey has reinforced the notion that looks are a huge factor in attracting women but the good news is that you CAN improve your looks and it's virtually a CERTAINTY that you'll do better with women if you make that change.

The woman I'm dating is 45 but she looks damn good for her age. I was positive that she was in her mid-30's when I first met her. She's aging unevenly, however - her boobs are more like a 20 year old's than a 45 year old's

You know it's funny: When I was in my 20s, I would bang a few HB9s, but they were few and far between. Now at 40, I'm banging HB9s in their mid-late 20s every week. It is ridiculously easy. A joke. I always took good care of myself physically, so no change there, perhaps just less muscle now. My only real change in the last 15 years was internal, my inner game.

So to you younger DJs: As long as you take good care of yourself and continue to improve, you will be pulling more and hotter tail as you age. I'm curious to see when the downward slope begins and I look forward to it because as of now, there's no challenge, lol.

And yes, you could define an HB9 as the girl who is always the hottest girl in the room, wherever you go. I have yet to meet an HB10 in person. When I do, I'll raise the bar.

How old is she?

G_Govan said:

How old is she?

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She will be 45 in a couple of months and I am turning 50 this summer.

I've dated a few women in their 30's in the past year and I have to say that it's a pleasant surprise to date someone closer to my own age. Our tastes are very similar and we get each other's cultural references... something that didn't always happen with the younger women.

Top work Teebar. Sure there was a lot of tough days first. Hope it has legs.

Hey if u wouldn't mind - what was your basic wardrobe. There's a few style threads here but the suggestions seem a bit pricey and maybe not right for the mature guy.

ubercat said:

Top work Teebar. Sure there was a lot of tough days first. Hope it has legs.

Hey if u wouldn't mind - what was your basic wardrobe. There's a few style threads here but the suggestions seem a bit pricey and maybe not right for the mature guy.

Click to expand...

Thanks, ubercat.

I went with Perry Ellis and Calvin Klein for the most part. I bought black, navy, grey and khaki pants and an assortment of fitted (slim) shirts for the most versatility. I picked up a few ties as well and now I have dozens of combinations at my disposal. I think that you should have one pair each of black and brown dress shoes. I chose oxford wingtip shoes in brown because they look great with jeans.

I learned a lot from the Real Men Real Style YouTube channel. Great advice and content for free.

Fit is important so be sure to get measured if you're not certain of your size. Oversize clothing is the #1 mistake that I see men making all the time.

Given the stats you're actually more of a catch than she is, leave that in the back of your mind. It wasn't that you earned this, she's lucky she found you. You're in the driver's seat, enjoy!

G_Govan said:

Given the stats you're actually more of a catch than she is, leave that in the back of your mind. It wasn't that you earned this, she's lucky she found you. You're in the driver's seat, enjoy!

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Great advice - thanks.

She has probably dated her fair share of AFCs who put her on a pedestal but I'm not making that mistake. We complement each other and that's the important thing.

Well fellas, I'm back with an update.

Almost made it a year with this girl, and it was a GOOD one.

Sadly, I had to end it with her a few days ago. The reason? She has a drinking problem. I don't want her to quit drinking because I'm a moderate, social drinker and I'm not giving that up for ANYBODY. That said, I'm not sticking around for the drama either.

I have NEVER broken up with a woman while I still loved her until now, of course. Frankly, I didn't think I had the stones to do it.

I feel busted up inside, naturally, but I know that I'll be OK sooner than later. To the outside world this probably looks like a failure but to me it was a success. I never stopped learning and it was gratifying to practice game within an LTR.

Her family is going to be super disappointed I'm sure. They loved me and I loved them right back. She'll probably spin it so that I look like the chump but that's OK. I think they'll realize the truth. I'm pretty sure they hoped I would marry her one day.

Anyway, I never stopped lifting and I didn't abandon my friends during this year. I'm pretty much picking up right where I left off.

Always keep improving!