Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How long do I still have?

SayWhat

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Hi all

Currently I'm 27 and am struggling with the following problem.

I'm quite good looking, I work as a waiter and hear often (from the person itself or via another one) that they find me good looking. Often friends tell me they noticed a girl checking me out, these are quite often are HB's 8-9.

We all know looks aren't everything, but they do help for the initial approach. But I don't approach, I have too low self-esteem (check my other threads, especially the 'very sad post').

I am working on this, i want to have the best life I can achieve and this includes banging as much girls as possible and I know this shouldn't be a problem for me. I know this in the end wouldn't make me happier, but we all want this. I think I am over my situation (again check the 'very sad post'), but not over the ego hit, I wanted to break her, not the other way around.

The main question is that I'm currently 27. I have a good physique and I want to know how long guys are considered good looking, from what age do they go 'down'?
 

Alexandar

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im kind of in your boat, 29, good looking, and low self esteem when it comes to cold approaches (or more likely too much ego)

in answer to your question, we have lots of time, at least a decade, dont fret

us guys get more sought after as we age from our 20s to our 40s, unlike women, boom. profit.
 

cola

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All in how you take care of yourself as far as looks.
Furthermore, cold approach (especially at your age) is overated.
Unless she is giving you strong IOIs (eye contact, smile, blushing, fixing clothes when you look at her) dont waste your time.
Might I advise you to social circle game?
Make friends and go out with them.
Ask your female friends, sisters etc etc if they know anyone who is cute and single?

This is why its important not just to worry about females and attracting them, but making friends with everyone. You never know who knows who.

As far as your confidence, do things elite men do.
Save money, Go to the gym, Plan fun trips..
Did I say go to the gym? Good, needs to be said 2x. Lift heavy.
Just try to be better than your current self everyday. Confidence will come, and it will be real confidence.. because you earned it.
 

mangotot

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Do worry bro. OK you have low self Esteem but imagine being ugly as well. That would not put you in a good stead for the future would it
 
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you guys are funny. I'm 62 and just landed a 27 year old stunner. It's all in where you look, not how you look. Different cultures prefer different appearances. In the Philippines for instance, just by having very white skin, you are desirable. It's quite wierd, to say the least.
 

thatfeel

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^^^sorry but that's repugnant
 

gravityeyelids

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You are placing far too much importance on your good looks. I'm a good looking guy who is currently going through a rough patch because i look great, but lately i've been extremely lacking in my confidence, attitude, motivation, self-esteem, etc.

There's periods where i get looks from nearly every cute girl that sees me and almost every cute girl i talk to is interested. And then there's periods where i'm treated just like the beta b&tch guys who look nerdy and ugly. My looks havent changed in years, for better or worse. I keep in good shape and keep myself groomed well and dress well.

The difference is completely in your attitude. Your position in life and whether you are a catch or not. If you are average or better in terms of looks you can get THE SAME results as the guys whom girls rate 10/10 in terms of pure looks.

Alpha guys who are 7/10's can pull 9's and 10's all day long. Alpha guys who are 10/10 can pull 9's and 10's all day long. Beta guys with poor attitudes who are 10/10 in looks will consistently struggle to get any girl above a 6 interested.

You've placed too much of your core confidence on your looks. You know you're good looking. Fine. Start incorporating that into your body language and how to interact with girls. Let them know that your personality is a 10/10 too.

But to answer your question, you have PLENTY of time. The top dog guys who are like 55 can still bang 19 year olds like crazy if they're doing things right.

Just relax and work on improving yourself. You've already fought half the battle by posting here and admitting that you need to improve.
 

YawataNoKami

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One of my best friend is uglier than a false rape accusation , he is doing great pulling up 6/7's.
 

Alexandar

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cola said:
Furthermore, cold approach (especially at your age) is overated.
Unless she is giving you strong IOIs (eye contact, smile, blushing, fixing clothes when you look at her) dont waste your time.
man what in the phuck? i must be misunderstanding you here, how old are you?

especially at his age? what 27? the guy isnt like 47 or something...

dont waste your time without strong IOIs? this has to be a troll, you cant be serious.

do you ever do cold approaches?
 

SayWhat

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A question I keep having is, how do you cultivate the right mindset? It is key to everything as it almost pops up in every thread.

It can't be just changing negative thoughts into positive (although it probably is a part of it). But I do so many things I consider as positive to change my mindset, i.e. gym, paramotoring, reading a lot (mainly on this subject of self-improvement), work a lot (with which I come into contact with a lot of new people). But I feel I haven't achieved nothing, so I must be doing something wrong, I don't feel my self-esteem growing.
 
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repugnant why? Not everybody intends or WANTS 50 years of marriage, dude. Most are doing VERY well to manage 10 years without major conflicts. I have no desire for my gal to stay with me when I get decrepit. In fact, I plan to suicide, as that sort of "life" has no appeal to me whatsoever. My training lets me kick ass on guys 1/3rd my age, I can still do one-armed pushups, one-legged deep knee bends, all sorts of stuff that college boys can't do.
 

GS750

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Well said by Espi. I keep the following words taped inside my locker at work, and at home on a door in my room. I read it very day, sometimes several times a day. Given my chosen profession, I see some pretty sh*tty stuff. The worst of humanity at times. But it helps me:

I am your attitude

I AM YOUR MASTER. I can make you rise or fall. I can make you a success or failure. I can work for or against you. I control your feelings and actions. I can make your heart sing with happiness. I can make you wretched, dejected, or morbid. I can make you angry and resentful. I can make you lonely, discouraged or depressed. I can make you sick, listless. I can be a shackle, heavy and burdensome. I can be a prism’s hue, dancing bright and colorful. I can be nurtured and grown to be beautiful. I can never be removed, only replaced. I AM YOUR ATTITUDE!


You mindset needs some adjustment, that's all
 

cola

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Alexandar said:
man what in the phuck? i must be misunderstanding you here, how old are you?

especially at his age? what 27? the guy isnt like 47 or something...

dont waste your time without strong IOIs? this has to be a troll, you cant be serious.

do you ever do cold approaches?
It burned my soul yesterday I reached my post limit last night and could not reply to this.
Yes, the bulk majority of people 25 and above do not cold approach, despite what creepy PUA guys tell you. Nor is it neccissary to meet girls.
I bed an average of 1 new girl a month. No its not astounding or some mythical number, but considering how much I work and the minimal effort, its more than most.

How do I meet these girls?
I go places when Im invited. Partys, birthday dinners, friends who grab extra tickets to stuff and tinder.
Usually more time than not there is a hot girl who is an aquantince of someone there who also knows me.
I introduce myself, tease her and it works so much better than walking up to chicks power walking downtown.
Their guard is down.

I dont have movie star good looks, but they are better than average. So cold approaching(without screening for IOIs) i pull 1 out of 10.
Thats 10 out of 100.
Out of the 10, ill get 2 dates. I'll bang one.

Lets do math young Alexandar.
At a rate of 5 minutes each cold approach, thats 5 minutes each interaction multiplied by 100.
Thats 8 hrs and 20 minutes I'll never get back.

That's a full week at the gym
A shift at work
A season of a tv show
4 good movies
2 good novels

A flight from Baltimore to Hawaii
A drive from Baltimore to Georgia..

All to bang one chick...

You sir may have the time for that, I dont. Thats why unless the IOIs are strong, I dont cold approach.
I may cold approach once a week with a 90% success rate, because she eye f#cked me first and It was not doubt she wanted me to introduce myself.

This post was so detailed because I was very offended you called me a potential "troll". Because I feel I give this forum nothing but value.

Rather than respond with disrespect, i decided to take the time to educate you, son.
Lesson being:
It'd serve you better getting laid to make friends who are cool and know people than approaching a ridiculous amount of girls all day. Use that time to improve your SMV by doing productive things.

Thanks.
 

3agle 3yes

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I've mentioned this about 100 times now but I love threads like these, the ops always have the same symptoms.

1) Mentioning that they're good-looking.

2) Mentioning their age (for some reason) as if it matters much.

When I was younger a person I looked up to a lot told me something I would never forget, he said:

"If you go to study something intensely, you begin to see things aren't what they seem below the surface,"
SayWhat said:
...We all know looks aren't everything, but they do help for the initial approach. But I don't approach, I have too low self-esteem...
Men and women love sex but both love sex in different ways and consequently men and women both look for DIFFERENT things when it comes to the opposite sex.

Being physcially attractive and passive will work for women, it WON'T work for men.

You can be the hottest guy alive, but if you can't lead or intiate and impose yourself sexually on women...they won't be attracted to you.
SayWhat said:
The main question is that I'm currently 27. I have a good physique and I want to know how long guys are considered good looking, from what age do they go 'down'?
If you're asking unreasonable questions like this, it means you have A LOT to learn. Questions like these ONLY apply to women, of course if you're 80 you're gonna have a hard time attracting a 20 year old, but if it were the other way round it would be impossible.

I'll end by mentioning something interesting another friend of mine told me , he said "western men have a f@cked up psychology when it comes to attracting women. They believe they have to get top grades in school, earn a lot of money, drive sports cars, have the physique of an underwear model, own a business, live in a 5 star condo etc, etc to earn the right to get p*ssy, whereas many men in Brazil (where he is from), already believe they have the right because they have a d!ck."

Probably an over-exageration, but he had a point.

You're over estimating most women...they might want much, but they don't NEED much.
 

SayWhat

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Than it's the fact that I'm too silent and my body language stinks of low self-esteem.

Books and material I must read on these subject?
 

Alexandar

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cola said:
It burned my soul yesterday I reached my post limit last night and could not reply to this.
Yes, the bulk majority of people 25 and above do not cold approach, despite what creepy PUA guys tell you. Nor is it neccissary to meet girls.
I bed an average of 1 new girl a month. No its not astounding or some mythical number, but considering how much I work and the minimal effort, its more than most.

How do I meet these girls?
I go places when Im invited. Partys, birthday dinners, friends who grab extra tickets to stuff and tinder.
Usually more time than not there is a hot girl who is an aquantince of someone there who also knows me.
I introduce myself, tease her and it works so much better than walking up to chicks power walking downtown.
Their guard is down.

I dont have movie star good looks, but they are better than average. So cold approaching(without screening for IOIs) i pull 1 out of 10.
Thats 10 out of 100.
Out of the 10, ill get 2 dates. I'll bang one.

Lets do math young Alexandar.
At a rate of 5 minutes each cold approach, thats 5 minutes each interaction multiplied by 100.
Thats 8 hrs and 20 minutes I'll never get back.

That's a full week at the gym
A shift at work
A season of a tv show
4 good movies
2 good novels

A flight from Baltimore to Hawaii
A drive from Baltimore to Georgia..

All to bang one chick...

You sir may have the time for that, I dont. Thats why unless the IOIs are strong, I dont cold approach.
I may cold approach once a week with a 90% success rate, because she eye f#cked me first and It was not doubt she wanted me to introduce myself.

This post was so detailed because I was very offended you called me a potential "troll". Because I feel I give this forum nothing but value.

Rather than respond with disrespect, i decided to take the time to educate you, son.
Lesson being:
It'd serve you better getting laid to make friends who are cool and know people than approaching a ridiculous amount of girls all day. Use that time to improve your SMV by doing productive things.

Thanks.
im sorry I used the word troll, i didnt think it so offensive.
i honestly just used it to bust your balls lightly, as a joke, i shouldve put a smiley face or something to make that more clear. in the future though, i just wont use it.
i do respect the hell out of your contribution and advice, dont get me wrong.

you say young alexandar, im assuming that means youre 30+?
you make good points, we look at cold approaching a little differently, but in general youre right. I didnt mean we should waste our time approaching that much. Just that in general, I think its okay to do more than one or two a week, although youre right 100 is too much. its whatever.

obviously social circle game becomes more and more useful as you age, and its a goldmine for meeting women anyways, since youre instantly proofed. that said Ive had some hilarious bad luck with it lately, not that that means Im discouraged by it, its obviously one of the best ways to meet women.

but at the threat of derailing this deep philosophical thread, whats your opinion on this:
my buddys girlfriend works at tim hortons. a few months ago she tried to hook me up with a 20yr old coworker. she was a girl looking for fun no ties. my buddys girlfriend thinks im an awesome guy and told her that, ensuring her she doesnt need to proof me. the connection happened through facebook, where i could barely get her to ever respond. after 2 msgs back and forth, she goes NC. lol

same thing happens, with the same girlfriend of my buddy trying another social hook up just last week. a different coworker of hers, but same situation, 20 yrs old, looking for fun no ties (this one is recently out of a 5 yr relationship, which is weird IMO and i guess it would be the only one shes ever had). she tells the chick she would love me, i shoot her a msg, she doesnt reply for 3 or 4 days, when she does she says sorry im never on here (which i know for a fact is a lie), and then never replies to me again. NC. lol

maybe im just too old for these girls, but they dont strike me as the type that would care as long as im under 30, according to my buddys girlfriend. maybe they just didnt like my look. whatever. still seems weird to me.

btw i know how you feel when you say it burned your soul hahaha. I feel you on that one, sh it is annoying.
 

cola

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The 2nd one who just got out the five year relationship 9x out of 10 is still ****ing her ex.
The 1st one i dunno.
Some chicks r just flakey man.. dont think about it too much
 

mangotot

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cola said:
It burned my soul yesterday I reached my post limit last night and could not reply to this.
Yes, the bulk majority of people 25 and above do not cold approach, despite what creepy PUA guys tell you. Nor is it neccissary to meet girls.
I bed an average of 1 new girl a month. No its not astounding or some mythical number, but considering how much I work and the minimal effort, its more than most.

How do I meet these girls?
I go places when Im invited. Partys, birthday dinners, friends who grab extra tickets to stuff and tinder.
Usually more time than not there is a hot girl who is an aquantince of someone there who also knows me.
I introduce myself, tease her and it works so much better than walking up to chicks power walking downtown.
Their guard is down.

I dont have movie star good looks, but they are better than average. So cold approaching(without screening for IOIs) i pull 1 out of 10.
Thats 10 out of 100.
Out of the 10, ill get 2 dates. I'll bang one.

Lets do math young Alexandar.
At a rate of 5 minutes each cold approach, thats 5 minutes each interaction multiplied by 100.
Thats 8 hrs and 20 minutes I'll never get back.

That's a full week at the gym
A shift at work
A season of a tv show
4 good movies
2 good novels

A flight from Baltimore to Hawaii
A drive from Baltimore to Georgia..

All to bang one chick...

You sir may have the time for that, I dont. Thats why unless the IOIs are strong, I dont cold approach.
I may cold approach once a week with a 90% success rate, because she eye f#cked me first and It was not doubt she wanted me to introduce myself.

This post was so detailed because I was very offended you called me a potential "troll". Because I feel I give this forum nothing but value.

Rather than respond with disrespect, i decided to take the time to educate you, son.
Lesson being:
It'd serve you better getting laid to make friends who are cool and know people than approaching a ridiculous amount of girls all day. Use that time to improve your SMV by doing productive things.

Thanks.
The question I have to ask is why are you wasting time writing on forums such as this? Because it sounds like to you, time is ever so precious.
 
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