Ex texting me after week of no contact

ruskiy11 · May 24, 2015

I broke up with my ex on Monday because she suggested a break, and have been on a strict NC since, but in all honesty I do miss her and do want her back.

She messaged me once two days ago saying "hey", I never responded, and earlier today she messaged me "hey" again and I haven't responded either. I think it's her way to just see if I'm sulking over her.

I know what a break means, that's why I ended it right there and then. Her words literally were that she doesn't want to stay "locked in" anymore and doesn't want to be "tied down by a relationship" aka slut it up.

But it wasnt a bad breakup, no fight or anything, I was cool about it, and her last words to me were I love you, which clearly is a lie but you all get the point, ended on good terms. She wanted to stay friends but I said no.

What is she trying to accomplish by sending me "hey" two days in a row? Does she realize her mistake?

Peña · May 24, 2015

She just wants to be nosey seeing what you are doing. She wanted a break to go away from you. You were not her best option and she wants other men in her own words. Why not bang new girls and forget her? She can not be that great letting you go so easily. She should be fighting to keep you not breaking away from you.

GS750 · May 24, 2015

They always do this. My last breakup was the same kind of crap. You split up, but they want to stay in contact. She wants to keep you in her orbit for selfish reasons. The reasons could be numerous; she wants to be friends, she wants attention/validation, she isn't sure breaking up was the right choice, she misses you, she wants to keep you in her life in case the single life or new guy she meets doesn't work out, etc. This is why after a breakup or, or when you go NC, you get texts like:

"Hey"
"Hope you're doing alright"
"How are you?"
"Just want to see if you're doing okay"
"Why are you ignoring me?"
"I miss you"
"I miss talking to you"
"I hope we can be friends"
"etc, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah. Blah"

Yeah, its sounds like she cares about your welfare. But she is more interested in keeping you, her ex, in her life for some selfish reason. Why? Because girls are selfish. She wanted a break and/or space. Give it to her. If she continues to contact you tell her you're not interested in being friends. After that, if she keeps it up, ignore or block. Read BD's article on this, he knows his sh*t. Also, read the comments section. He answers guy's questions, one of them will surely be just like your situation.

here it is: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/10/12/important-ignore-breakup/

soulforge · May 24, 2015

GS750 said:
They always do this. My last breakup was the same kind of crap. You split up, but they want to stay in contact. She wants to keep you in her orbit for selfish reasons. They reasons could be numerous; she wants to be friends, she wants attention/validation, she isn't sure breaking up was the right choice, she misses you, she wants to keep you in her life in case the single life or new guy she meets doesn't work out, etc. This is why after a breakup or, or when you go NC, you get texts like:

"Hey"
"Hope you're doing alright"
"How are you?"
"Just want to see if you're doing okay"
"Why are you ignoring me?"
"I miss you"
"I miss talking to you"
"I hope we can be friends"
"etc, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah. Blah"

Yeah, its sounds like she cares about your welfare. But she is more interested in keeping you, her ex, in her life for some selfish reason. Why? Because girls are selfish. She wanted a break and/or space. Give it to her. If she continues to contact you tell her you're not interested in being friends. After that, if she keeps it up, ignore or block. Read BD's article on this, he knows his sh*t. Also, read the comments section. He answers guy's questions, one of them will surely be just like your situation.

here it is: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/10/12/important-ignore-breakup/

Great post.. this has worked for me on every occasion.. my last LTR of 2 years, wanted back after i ignored her for 3 months.. i didn't take her back tho

Had atleast 3 exes come back like this.. two of them i took back as fuk buddies for a while..

What if it was a mutual breakup or you dumped her... would remaining no contact have the same effect?

GS750 · May 24, 2015

Well the general idea that you want to convey to her is that you're moving on. You're not going to wait in limbo while she figures out what she wants. So if it was mutual, or if you're the one who broke it off, don't think it matters. No Contact isn't a trick or ploy to get her back or get her to want you again. It's to get yourself to a point where you're over it. If she comes back, or her attraction/interest is renewed by it, then I guess that's a bonus. You can't avoid the friendzone trap, and get over how sh*tty you feel, by staying in contact with her. There is a possibility that she may never speak to you again after you ignore her for a period of time. But it's a risk you have to take for your own well being.

ruskiy11 · May 25, 2015

GS750 said:
Well the general idea that you want to convey to her is that you're moving on. You're not going to wait in limbo while she figures out what she wants. So if it was mutual, or if you're the one who broke it off, don't think it matters. No Contact isn't a trick or ploy to get her back or get her to want you again. It's to get yourself to a point where you're over it. If she comes back, or her attraction/interest is renewed by it, then I guess that's a bonus. You can't avoid the friendzone trap, and get over how sh*tty you feel, by staying in contact with her. There is a possibility that she may never speak to you again after you ignore her for a period of time. But it's a risk you have to take for your own well being.

I know its a tool to get over her, and I'm slowly getting over her, but I'd be lying if I said I don't want her back. I know where I fuked up in the relationship and went beta

ruskiy11 · May 26, 2015

I got another text from her "are you going to answer my texts". Stay NC or respond?

GS750 · May 26, 2015

Just text her back and say you agree that a break is a good idea, but you're not interested in being friends if that's what she's looking for.

jurry · May 26, 2015

Too early for you to go back down that road as your frame will still be weak, and once she meets you and potentially has sex with you she'll know this.

Your responses need to be highly disinterested, short, and with lots of time in between.

In the meantime you need other girls or something else to do that lessens her importance to you. Its very difficult to fake disinterest, and the only way she'll want you again is when you are genuinely fvcking other women or your interest has naturally diminished by some other means.

HeadLightsOn · May 27, 2015

jurry is correct. I have experienced this a while ago. Acting (and eventually actually being), disinterested and actually having OTHER females that I was in contact with helped:

- Me getting back in control of the situation
- Her interest level rising (although I ignored the contact for quite a while)
- Me being able to move on a lot easier

It seriously worked well for me. While I would like the ex as a FB I dont want the grief that comes with it. If she boomerangs in a year or two - well thats another story.

ruskiy11 · May 27, 2015

I ended up replying to her saying that its what she wanted and this is how I move on, to which she sent me a novel on how if I truly loved her I would've fought for her back

Tictac · May 27, 2015

ruskiy11 said:
I ended up replying to her saying that its what she wanted and this is how I move on, to which she sent me a novel on how if I truly loved her I would've fought for her back

__________

So she admits she was gaming you.

Women and 'magical thinking' - "if I truly loved her....."

Game over.

ruskiy11 · May 27, 2015

Tictac said:
__________

So she admits she was gaming you.

Women and 'magical thinking' - "if I truly loved her....."

Game over.

Its so childish and immature. I told her that I will never fight or beg for anyone who willingly leaves my life, if it leaving makes you happy then I'm happy too.

She said what if I still want you, I responded "Its your turn to fight then" and back to NC

Lozboss · May 27, 2015

ruskiy11 said:
Its so childish and immature. I told her that I will never fight or beg for anyone who willingly leaves my life, if it leaving makes you happy then I'm happy too.

She said what if I still want you, I responded "Its your turn to fight then" and back to NC

Good man stay strong.

Hit up some other chicks.

This is the tough part. You have to hold to NC unless she's interested in meeting.

People will tell you: "if you meet and don't have sex then next her" - sometimes it takes time to rekindle with an EX.

Stay strong and keep your frame, and you'll manage this. Be prepared to walk away and not look back. When you can do that- you're golden.

Dgwizdal · May 27, 2015

ruskiy11 said:
I ended up replying to her saying that its what she wanted and this is how I move on, to which she sent me a novel on how if I truly loved her I would've fought for her back

Good sign. Keep strong and her ***** will be dripping for you in no time. Do NOT give in to that bs. Do your own thing.

ruskiy11 · May 27, 2015

Dgwizdal said:
Good sign. Keep strong and her ***** will be dripping for you in no time. Do NOT give in to that bs. Do your own thing.

I'm not going to give in, to be honest it angers me more than anything. I did so much for her, and then she throws it all away and says I never loved her or cared about her because I didn't fight for her like a little *****. That honestly hurts

ruskiy11 · May 29, 2015

So she messaged me again today for the first time since I went NC again, she said "I want you to go on vacation with me". A little back story - we were supossed to go on vacation next month prior to this breakup, but that clearly changed plans.

Stay NC or respond "I don't wanna"?

Cremasta · May 29, 2015

ruskiy11 said:
She said what if I still want you, I responded "Its your turn to fight then" and back to NC

I like that, good comeback.

Regarding her saying she wants you to go on vacation with her, unless she's going to be paying for everything, then it's a bad idea.
Even though she's trying to play games now, because it wasn't a bad breakup, me, I'd reply with anything along the lines of:
"???"
"No, I don't think that's a good idea"
"It's not really about what you want anymore"
"Thanks, but I'm trying to move on here"

Whatever suits your situation the best.

backbeat · May 29, 2015

Mauser96 said:
I'd simply not respond. The drama will intensify and your wounds won't heal. Ignore her long enough and she will go away.

I have often said women are more susceptible to the "Grass is Greener syndrome and she showed this by wanting a "break" (and as for what YOU wanted -.....well, fvck you, because what you wanted is not important, right?)

Now she finds out the grass is pretty dry and brittle on the other side of the fence. Let her keep chewing it.

Don't respond.

good advice here dont be talkin to no b@tch who f@cked u over man cuz she will jus f@ck u over agan when u start talkin to her. when its over let it be man n move on n ignore ne thing she tries to call u n text.

GS750 · May 29, 2015

Wait...so she wanted a "break"? You went NC for a very short period of time, then she reveals that she was playing some retarded game by saying you should've "fought for her". Now she wants you to go on vacation with her? Does this chick even know what she wants? Christ, just ignore her.

Ex texting me after week of no contact

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