It's not what you say or do that makes you alpha or beta...

Some time ago, I opened a thread called "Phrases that make you look weak in her eyes". I retract everything I said in this thread because I have a different opinion now.

As some users rightly mentioned in the other thread, paying attention to what you should say to her and what you shouldn't is the wrong approach. Why? Because it is approval-seeking. It's not what you say or do that determines whether you're alpha or beta, it's the overall picture, it's you as person with all your personality traits, the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you react, your body language, etc...

That's why it's bullsh** to ask questions like "I said this and that to my girlfriend. Was this beta?". Just as it is impossible to call someone alpha or beta just based on something they did or said at a specific moment in time.

You can say sh** like "Without you I'm nothing. I love you more than you'll ever know. You're everything I want." and STILL BE THE FU***** BOSS. Why? Because you ain't afraid to look directly into her eyes. Because your whole posture looks solid and masculine. Because you sit and stand up straight like a king. Because if you want to be emotional, you are fu***** emotional.

Express your opinions, needs and desires in a direct way. You can pretty much say and do what the f*** you want to, as long as it's delivered with the Bad Boy-"So What?" attitude.

I wish you were right about this. I used to believe it, until it backfired multiple times. For the most part women read a lot more into what you say. And they misread a lot of what you commnicate to them.

Let me assist:

It's not what you say or do ...

It's your intention, or the motivation you are operating from, that matters.

Ruler said:

In some ways I agree (your body language, tone, etc.) but others I don't (can say anything, like I'll never leave you? That kills all mystery)

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What if you don't care if your words kill all mystery? I'd rather say what's on my mind than waste my precious energy filtering every word. Worrying about mystery is weak imo.

DiegoSantori said:

You can say sh** like "Without you I'm nothing. I love you more than you'll ever know. You're everything I want." and STILL BE THE FU***** BOSS. Why? Because you ain't afraid to look directly into her eyes. Because your whole posture looks solid and masculine. Because you sit and stand up straight like a king. Because if you want to be emotional, you are fu***** emotional.

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:cheer: Wishful thinking ... unfortunately -experience- of all other men claims otherwise.

I will explain you, looks you are beta inside and you -really- like it,you would love to kiss woman's ass and be her footholder and get all the love and respect, so it makes you frustrated, and you do not want to get out of your beta zone.You also fail to understand - men should not TALK but ACT.

Your words are poetic but pathetic because women understand love in completly other way.They are not going to sacrifice for you and they don't give shyt about your words of devotion they care about pleasure and service you can deliver.

It's not so much what you say or do but how you look and sound when you're saying and doing it.

In order for what you say to not matter much at all, you'd have to have her very attracted in the first place (and no, just saying anything and being genuine alone won't get you there). So why change what you were doing that is working so well and say things considered risky? Even most highly attracted women will lose interest eventually if you keep saying things she doesn't want to hear.

It's about what a woman can get from you. Emotionally. Sexually. Financially. Status wise. Start there and work from that.

DiegoSantori said:

You can say sh** like "Without you I'm nothing. I love you more than you'll ever know. You're everything I want." and STILL BE THE FU***** BOSS..

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I can imagine the disgusted look on her face when you spout those things

You guys can play this pretending to be mysterious crap all you want but the bottom line is its an act/game and stems from a point of weakness.

If I want her to give me sex I'm going to take it...if I want a relationship I'm going to demand it or walk if I want marriage... You get the picture....

If they think its not mysterious enough then who cares...let them walk...I'm not wasting any of my time trying to alter my behavior for anyone...

Trying to be mysterious is something a woman does and it feminine in nature... If you are naturally mysterious than that is a different story.

Just act and do what you really want and go after what you want shamelessly and you will develop a more masculine presence that overrides thus gaming stuff.

Sorry bro, it does matter what you say. A whole lot actually. I read your previous thread and it was spot-on. You ABSOLUTELY cannot say anything close to 'I love you more than you'll ever know'and still maintain attraction. In fact, there's almost a 100% gurantee you'll lose it.

I think what you meant was, coming from a certain frame you can get away with things that otherwise would be perceived as beta. For instance when I tell a female 'I miss you'. It's rare so it doesn't come from a place a weakness, it's more like a treat.

Here's a better interpretation. It's not what to say, rather how you say it. They look at body language, how shy you are, masculinity in your posture! Good luck

I disagree with the OP but on the other hand I have witnessed guys saying this to their LTR girlfriends(from a month together to 2 years couples) and they melt.

Its not one time only either.
They have said **** that's not even in the romantic drama chicks so much love.
I don't know if its the way they say it, vibe, social status but **** like "I will love you forever, you are everything to me and I will make sure you are the happiest girl ever" actually makes them blush and wet :woo: I have seen it!

"While it is possible to pick up some types of women by acting “alpha,” because of the kind of women this seduction method attracts, the flings you successfully land can become messier than you bargained for. It’s for this reason that men who go for the alpha male ideology often fall victim to a selection bias in regards to their perception of women: because the women who are attracted to them are less stable and more promiscuous, they come to believe that all women are “skanky” and “crazy.”

At the same time, when these men try their dominant pick-up techniques on more well-adjusted women, their hostility and narcissism creep the women out, and cause them to turn these guys down. This rejection makes these would-be “pick-up artists” more hostile to women, and they figure the problem is that they’re still too much of a “nice guy.” They then try to up their alpha quotient even further, which makes even more women turn away from them. And the cycle continues."

Source:

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:

True.

First, let me define Alpha/Beta as purely success with many beautiful women proportionate to your looks.

Here's the thing: OP and others here are pedestalizing women. Women cannot detect anything other than what you present to them. They are not mind readers and they are extremely superficial. If you do something that seems beta, no amount of "inner frame" will save that. This is why men with no confidence whatsoever on the inside(NPD) are the best seducers...because they PORTRAY the utmost confidence.

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I have to agree with a lt of this post. Over the years I have seen so many guys with no real internal confidence do really well with tons of girls because they had gone to great lengths to hide that fact and portray confidence. Its often very easy to spot but many women just completely miss that. On the other hand I've been really confident in myself through accomplishing things throughout my whole life and haven't felt the urge to prove it to others or put those traits on display, I've felt comfortable opening up and expressing my feelings and I've felt strong enough to say and do things I felt I needed to regardless of how I thought others would perceive them. I question myself, I doubt myself because I think thats important in becoming a better person in most areas of life but it comes off ass wishy washy and lacking confidence. I think the point is internal confidence and happiness is the most important thing for a happy and successfull life but also you have to take into consideration what you are putting out there and how others will react to it. Your interactions with others matter and in relationships you need to consider that everything is being filtered through each individuals eyes, if you want certain results you have to take that into consideration and pick and choose how and what you show of yourself.

Words matter a lot and women can take what you say out of context and use it against you. A man acting weak being negative on himself will have the woman lose interest. Real alphas know how to act and what to say to women. Some other guy will not know what to say and how to act looking beta.

bigneil said:

"While it is possible to pick up some types of women by acting “alpha,” because of the kind of women this seduction method attracts, the flings you successfully land can become messier than you bargained for. It’s for this reason that men who go for the alpha male ideology often fall victim to a selection bias in regards to their perception of women: because the women who are attracted to them are less stable and more promiscuous, they come to believe that all women are “skanky” and “crazy.”

At the same time, when these men try their dominant pick-up techniques on more well-adjusted women, their hostility and narcissism creep the women out, and cause them to turn these guys down. This rejection makes these would-be “pick-up artists” more hostile to women, and they figure the problem is that they’re still too much of a “nice guy.” They then try to up their alpha quotient even further, which makes even more women turn away from them. And the cycle continues."

Source:

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/

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Thank god I've created this thread, otherwise I wouldn't have read this golden post. I've heard of 'artofmanliness.com' before but I've never checked it out. Seems to be a good site.