Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Wants to try FWB

Inker

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I was kinda popular with girls in my high school days, i received letters/approaches from different girls who had crushes on me and been into fight with boys jealous coz their crushes was crazy over me. I don't see myself as good looking, i was just carefree and a little rebellious teen with no regards to girls at my school.

On my college days, i had a steady girl i'm dating until we both graduated and after that, we parted ways.

Fastforward. I'm married now with 2 kids, i still get approached by younger women. My sex life has never been wonderful with my wife. We both work. Even on long holidays, my wife just doesn't like sex like i do and when we do, she always reach orgasm but fail to satisfy my need for orgasm as she just lays there like a rock while i do my act and doesn't bother to make sex enjoyable for me too. I told her a lot of times about it and she said "That's me... if you want you can look for somebody else to satisfy you because i don't like sex that much.

I do love her, i respected her wish not to have sex until we get married, and here i was, thinking the remaining days of my life would be having the most boring sex life known to man.

I was frustrated and wants to find no strings attached sex elsewhere because even though i love my wife, she's a selfish woman who don't see my sexual needs as her partner. We made our 2 lovely kids in a way like having sex with a rock. How that pretty much.

My sexual urges was like protesting against me, i pleasure her and turned her on and she reaches orgasm while she never returned the act on me. I truly don't deserve that and tho i love her, it's not enough.

I want to try booty call/text or no-strings attached sex but i don't know how start one. I tried my luck with this younger woman (22 years old), we texted already and i asked her out once but she said some other time as she was busy that time, she told me she has a boyfriend and i told her that i am married but things aren't working out well. I can't tell right now what will happen but i like her and there might be some way to have her as a friend with benefit situation.

What's the next step should i do, any tips from you guys out there?
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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To protect your marriage investment, you need to go to the main page of the Married Man forum, click on the link that says "So you want to have / or are having an affair", download the ebook there, and read.

To pick up women, you need to scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the link "The DJ Bible" and read. Then go out in the field and practice.

I cannot condone what you're doing, but I know where you're coming from. I did it too, and those two links will give you everything you need.
 

Epimanes

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The problem is you and your wife have fallen out of love. Would you like to be "in love" again?if ya drop the affairs I can give you some help in the direction of pro marriage. Affairs do nothing but destroy familes. I highly suggest you try fixing your marriage with the tools at www.marriagebuilders.com

I have shared a bunch of the articles here. Read my "how to have a happy nad fulfilling marriage" thread.

P.S. There is some great stuff here too that can help you "game" your wife also. Read "be a man" by pook in the dj bible and "kill your desperation" by pook.
 

Married Buried

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Just because she SAYS she is OK with a FB doesn't mean she will still still be OK after you go through with it.

Prepare thine orifice for divorce court if she finds out.
 

Colossus

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I can't believe her self centeredness. I also can't believe you managed to marry a woman who has no regard for your sexual happiness.

Do NOT have an affair. I guarantee you will regret it, from a moral and a family standpoint. What if your kids found out? What if your wife pulled a 180 and decided she wasn't OK with it, then raped you blind in divorce court?? Not worth the potential consequences my friend.

I know it seems easier to just have an affair rather than address this issue directly, and it will be, at least at first. But the real issue here is you have a wife who doesn't give two sh!ts about your satisfaction, and I'd be willing to bet this extends to other areas of your marriage.

The ball is in your court now and you basically have three options: delve into marriage game material and try to turn this around, tell her that you want a divorce, or have an affair, which in my opinion is the worst of the three choices. I don't think divorce is a great option either, but she is exhibiting deal -breaking behavior in my opinion. She is basically flipping you the bird now that she has what she wants (kids), which is blatant disrespect for you as a husband.
 

Inker

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I also noticed that it's been quite a while that she turned cold on me, since she's not into sex like i do, how i want intimacy in our relationship, even hugging her while we sleep is a nuisance for her, we're like room mates sharing the same bed. I remember asking her why the sudden change, she said she's just tired and wants to sleep well...sometimes, i just go out of our room for a breath of fresh air and might as well sleep on the couch for that matter. I do love her, and her treating me that way tears me apart. I believe i had a been a good husband to her and a father to our kids, financially she earns better
than me. She has an old best friend from college that she's been chatting up lately on her fb, the guy works from another country, i can see the smile on her face when they chat through her phone, i felt jealousy about it and talked to her about it in a nice way, she told me they we're just keeping in touch as she was her bestfriend from college. I remember her talked about this guy early in our relationship, she told me he's gay, and jokingly said that they both agreed while in college that, in case they haven't found partners yet after a few years..they'll marry...that's until she met me.
I told her i find it unfair for her to spend more time chatting with her best friend than me her husband. She just ignored me with it.

I finally made up my mind and before i made a big mistake of cheating with my spouse, i'll cut any more possible communication with the girl i'm interested, i realized it will not solve anything and it is the right thing to do, my frustrations almost take the best of myself. I sometimes wish i was like you guys, you seemed to enjoy your life and being single. I thought being married with a girl you love is enough, but loving and giving when it's not reciprocated isn't nice at all.
 

Epimanes

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I'm not single. I'm married for like 17 years and with my wife since she was 15 and I was 16. I got 2 kids too. Its not easy but you can turn things around. I did using the tools I mentioned.
 

Ruleit

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Inker, as you can see from my post count, I don't post, just read. I'd like to point out some things you wrote:

I also noticed that it's been quite a while that she turned cold on me​
and this here
She has an old best friend from college that she's been chatting up lately on her fb, the guy
I'm sorry to tell you this, but your "wife" is having an emotional affair. If you don't know what one is, search for it. Don't discount it because those damned things are fvcking powerful. And in manosphere terms she is called an Alpha Widow who is pining away for her first badboy alpha.

talked to her about it in a nice way​
Ever heard of nice guys finish last? Well, this is what's happening here. You're a nice guy and your wife doesn't get off on that.

she told me they we're just keeping in touch as she was her bestfriend from college.​
BULLSH!T

I thought being married with a girl you love is enough,​
It can be, but only when the girl loves even more.

but loving and giving when it's not reciprocated isn't nice at all.​
No it isn't.

What are you going to do about this?
 

Inker

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update

Ruleit said:
Inker, as you can see from my post count, I don't post, just read. I'd like to point out some things you wrote:

I also noticed that it's been quite a while that she turned cold on me​
and this here
She has an old best friend from college that she's been chatting up lately on her fb, the guy
I'm sorry to tell you this, but your "wife" is having an emotional affair. If you don't know what one is, search for it. Don't discount it because those damned things are fvcking powerful. And in manosphere terms she is called an Alpha Widow who is pining away for her first badboy alpha.

talked to her about it in a nice way​
Ever heard of nice guys finish last? Well, this is what's happening here. You're a nice guy and your wife doesn't get off on that.

she told me they we're just keeping in touch as she was her bestfriend from college.​
BULLSH!T

I thought being married with a girl you love is enough,​
It can be, but only when the girl loves even more.

but loving and giving when it's not reciprocated isn't nice at all.​
No it isn't.

What are you going to do about this?

I have been applying some techniques to my wife based on what i've read here. So far i have noticed a few changes from what i've applied:

Kill that desperation - after i realizing how it seems to her how "needy" i was, i came to a point upon my last post here that i needed to give myself an overhaul, this is one of the first techniques i'm focusing on.

I felt good for myself, killing my desperation not for her, but for my own good. Now, after work, i started hitting the gym again after a long time. It felt so good physically. I'm liking this much i feel like doing this on a regular basis as it feels great. I forgot i have a life too aside from my wife and kids, especially my kids which i love very much. I kill that desperation with other women too. Just focusing on myself being healthier and better.

I never initiated sex again with her, i learned a lot in this forum. I just tweaked a little of it for my case. She still chat with that guy, i just don't care anymore...i dunno, but it's weird. It's like i had enough of myself making it looked like i'm the one with the problem not her. I'm tired from wanting to experience all of it numbed me.

I'm enjoying myself aside from being a provider for my family, i'll dig in deeper to what's happening with her and that guy, in a covert way. I dunno how, but if there's something you could give me as a tip for that , thanks.

I think your right about my wife having an emotional affair with that guy, i've read their messages. Obviously, she enjoys her internet chat with him than what we regularly having.

Again, thank you. This site saved me in regaining my dignity back as a fellow man like you guys here. I am making myself better not for her, but for myself. I'm making myself the better, if not the best version of myself, regardless if she'll change or not, AND...If she cheats on me with that guy(i read the guy will be on the next town in less than 5 weeks where he has an apartment), then i would be more than happy to be single again, and with the help of this forum..be a better man.



I'll give you updates soon on how things are if ever.
 

Ruleit

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You're not going to like reading this.

1) As long as the other guy is in the picture whatever you try to do to "win her back" is futile. Any "space" you give her will be used to pursue him in peace and quiet while you skulk around like a little puppy. (Not saying you are doing this)

2) Never initiated sex again is basically burying the bone in the backyard or trying to cover up the elephant in the room. What I'm reading there is your being afraid to confront her and lay down the law.

Why am I saying that? Because you're telling me that you're prepared to skulk around in the background and create elaborate schemes to spy on her and wait for her to cheat on you (and confirm her cheating, then give her an 'ultimatum' to choose you or him... after she is so far gone)

Something you didn't understand about emotional affairs --> she has already cheated on you. In her mind: she has put him on the pedestal you once stood, she has had sex with him, fantasized about being his wife etc etc. You don't understand the power of the fantasy she has created. i.e. She has emotionally divorced you in her mind while she lines up the other guy as your replacement. It's a matter of WHEN, not IF, she has sex with him and it looks like the deal is going down in 5 weeks.

If you want to save your marriage the only option I see you having is doing your damnedest to blow up her fantasy. A true alpha male would run advanced "dread game": File for divorce, drop the papers in her lap without any notice, pack her bags and escort her to the door. Kick her to the curb.

You don't sit there and beg for sex. You don't beg her to stop seeing the other man. That's for whiny little pvssies. Instead of YOU doing the begging and a$$licking to get back into the relationship you let her justify why she is worth to remain married to.

Divorce papers can always be withdrawn. Another man's d!ick in her can't. [edit] Technically speaking, it can and is, but the damage is irrepairable.
 

Dirtythirty

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Colossus said:
Do NOT have an affair. I guarantee you will regret it, from a moral and a family standpoint. What if your kids found out? What if your wife pulled a 180 and decided she wasn't OK with it, then raped you blind in divorce court?? Not worth the potential consequences my friend.
I disagree, I maintain a wife a mistress(woman who knows I'm married) and girlfriend (currently a college student who will likely regret dating me). I was caught one time because I told her and I don't even regret that because I needed a big wrench to throw into our routine. My wife only fulfills 70% of my needs so I make up for it. Been married 13 years to a lovely and crazy pinay.

Read http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=198719

Determine if this is what YOU want and be smart about it, separate the worlds. When home it DOESN'T EXSIST. Of course I have been called a sociopath, but to be honest I have also been called a lot worse. When I couldn't hold it in any longer and showed my dad a picture of this 19 year old blonde I had been ****ing on the side, he told me that even if your wife walks in on a full on bedroom rodeo, complete with a horse, nothing happened. Tell her she is crazy because that didn't happen. Of course you should never get caught because you shouldn't do this inside your own house, maybe start with a hooker they tend to want less to do with you then you with them. Sage advice.
 
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