Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to have a happy and Fulfilling Marriage.

Epimanes

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Hey .. if your a married guy like me and your banging your head against the wall trying to figure out WTFs wrong with your marriage. You have tried everything you can think of including marriage counselling (a waste of time BTW). Your wifes cold... you fight all the time, your kids are acting out because mommy and daddy are mad all the time ... your not making love like you used to, stress is through the roof and nothing ever gets resolved and your thinking of having an affair. Before you jump to an affair, I have your answer. But its not an EASY fix but nothing worth keeping is ever easy. It will be a challenge. So here it goes ...

www.marriagebuilders.com

Yes .. there is some great stuff here on this site to help decifer women in some things .. but its a cookie cutter strategy and it doesnt always work in your favor as a married guy. This place is not the end all be all of how to be married. In fact some of it is counter productive and will likely get you into trouble if you seek outside sources to meet your needs as some people and strategies suggest. Not worth it. Pick and chose what this place offers .. but becareful.

OK .. so now what? Well .. You should know of a concept called the LOVE BANK. Its real ... it works. I know .. i do it. You can read about it here and how it works in better detail. This does not just apply to your love life . .. but everyone in general.

Love Bank Concept - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html

Once ya got that grasped you need to figure out what YOUR needs are. Everyone is different ... and everyone hates the guessing game. Know who you are .. and what makes you feel loved the most. There is 10 emotional needs that cover pretty much everything you can think of, do the questions and get your ranking of important emotional needs.

Emotional needs Here - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4501_enq.html


Then ... once you figure out who YOU are and what makes you feel loved you can relay that to your signifigant other and they can do the same. Meeting needs causes you to fall in love! But .. what goes up (love bank balance towards the romantic love threshold) often goes down if not maintained properly! You can meet needs all day long but if in between meeting needs your doing things that cause the other person to get upset or angry .. your making love bank withdrawls! This can happen faster than you realize and before ya know it .. your back to hating .. ignoring ... fighting etc. Your love bank moves from romantic threshold (being in love and irresistable to each other) to like ... then to dislike ... and often to absolute hate where you can not stand even the sight of each other.. You MUST avoid those things that cause your spouse/signifigant other to get upset (BOTH OF YOU!) To learn these things .. there is another set of questions.

Love Busters HERE - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4502_lbq.html

Once you figure out what these are (careful .. this set of questions after filled out and exchanged can often lead to heated discussions, blaming, and arguing ... DONT ... instead just agree before you exchange them that you will NOT get angry with each other, but if needed you will take a break and come back to it.) You can learn to avoid the "lovebusters" and this will be like plugging the holes in your bucket so it stops draining all the water your trying to hold in it.

You will find that if your marriage is in bad shape you have a hard time meeting each others needs .. that is becasue your either in the state of conflict or withdrawl. BTW .. conflict is better than withdrawl. You can learn of the states of mind in marriage..

States of mind Here - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3250_habits.html

Once ya got all that figured out ... you then need to figure out the things you like to do together for recreation. A great way to do that is this set of questions.

Recreation HERE - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4505_rei.html

OK .. so now that you have all this info. What do you do with it? Well .. you put it to good use. You can NOT be in love without spending time together. You didnt ignore each other when you were courting.. so you have to make time in your busy lives to put your marriage FIRST! You probably notice that when your marriage is going good ... everything else around you feels like it is too .. needs are met .... everyones affectionate .. smiling ... and just general good energy. That all took time and effort. If you have kids .. its even harder. You NEED to make time ... its imperative to your marriage.

Make time HERE - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_attn.html

I see alot of people put their kids first in their marriages... as if the kid is more important than anything else in their lives. However ... kids NEED happy parents. If the parents are not happy .. how do you think the kids feel? Sure they may have the attention of the parents .. but how happy are the kids going to be when their parents divorce or fight all the time becasue they are not meeting each others intimate needs? Not very ... infact many kids will lash out and act as they see towards others! Here is a great article on how and why children need happy parents. Make your marriage TOP priority .. once the kids are gone .. then all you have is each other. So why not build a lifestyle that prepares for that.

Caring for kids means caring for each other HERE - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_care.html

You must also understand that you can not just GIVE And GIVE and GIVE in your relationship. Its bound to ruin you and create frustration. Also .. you can not just TAKE and TAKE and TAKE either. There must be a balance of both between you.

Learn Give and Take here - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_give.html


There is SOOO Much to read and go over for a married guy and woman on that site its hard to put it all in one post. So here is a basic summary of ALL the concepts that make a happy marriage as well as a few other links to some articles that may be of great value to some in the future or even now.

Summary HERE - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html

Living together before marriage - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8110_cohabitation.html

Are Friends a threat to your marriage? - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8119_friends.html

Fear of marriage - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8114_fear.html

Why women leave men - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_leave.html

How can a husband get the sex he needs in marriage? http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8120_sex.html


Hope this helps someone ... it saved my marriage. I hope it saves yours.
 

Epimanes

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NP man .. obviously a post like this will not be popular.(at least no one will readily admit it) But if it even helps one person here bring their marriage to a happy state then I have done my job.

I just figured that since there was a forum section on marriages and the title of the section states "learn to have a happy marriage and live happily ever after" that there should be something useful in the content. I seen no useful content in here that would help anyone in their marriage. SO .. being the married happy guy i am, I want to share the wealth!

The MAN who made marriage builders is a clinical Psychologist. Hes a fricken genious, its all psycology!. Saved thousands upon thousands of marriages. Sure it has stupid terminolgy and sounds full of "estrogen" as some of put it.. but whatever. It works ... combine this with the book of pook and some of the other teachings here on being a man and you will have BLISS in your marriage. I started with MB first ... then found sosuave.. but again .. whatever. As long as it gets the job done!

Falling in love is a formula ... Time + emotional needs met - lovebusters = romantic love! NO shyt it works ... and if your already pook like then this will get her engine started!
 

Epimanes

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BUMP since the forum title says "Learn how to have a great marriage and live happily ever after." and needs some kind of content to back that up.

And I see no SOSUAVE related material to create and sustain a happy marriage in this forum other than my postings, just a bunch of people whining about how lousy marriage is to them and to avoid it.WHICH IS NOT VERY HELPFUL TO THOSE SEEKING HELP in maintaining a happy and healthy marriage. Marriage builders CAN help.

Epi
 

Bible_Belt

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Epimanes said:
The MAN who made marriage builders is a clinical Psychologist. Hes a fricken genious, its all psycology!.
He's a genius all right. Everything he writes is stolen from religion. He gets it for free, strips out the obvious biblical references, re-labels it as "science," and then people pay him millions of dollars to hear ideas that are thousands of years old, because they hate religion too much to get the ideas from their source.

His "save the marriage" agenda is proof that it is religious counseling. There are plenty of unhealthy, abusive marriages that don't need to be saved. Only a religion-based agenda would argue otherwise. Science doesn't have an agenda - that's what makes it science.

I think it's great that you found his insight valuable. Church counselors help a lot of people, too. I think most of them could get a lame psch phd to call themselves "doctor," re-write parts of the Bible, claim it as their own ideas, and become rich and famous. Re-selling something for a profit that is easily obtained for free will always be a profitable business. That's another idea that is thousands of years old. He probably got it from the Bible, too.
 

Epimanes

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You would have to read how he discovered what made his program work. Of course there is biblical reference and I agree hes making money (although much of his info is free you just have to put it to use). He questioned thousands of couples to get his answers about creating romantic love.

Here .. check this link out. How Dr.Harley learned to save marriages. He didnt just get his info from the bible .. he got it from people also and applied his psycology to marriage counselling and created a much better approach than traditional marriage counselling. Which he even states has a 84% failure rate.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3100_how.html

And Bible_belt... I really like your style man. :)

Epi

Edit: I also agree there are plenty of abusive marriages that dont need to be saved. There is another article he wrote called "when to call it quits" here --- > http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_quit.html
 

Burgess

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Hi Epimanes,
Very informative post about how to have a happy and fulfilling marriage and links are also helpful so thanks for sharing with other also. Bookmarked to share with others also.
 

Epimanes

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Bump to help married guys who have slipped towards azzhole mode to far or too often. Alpha is all fine and dandy but sometimes you need a heart too. Especially when the woman you married hands you her heart. Protect it. Cherish it, and learn who she really is.

Epi
 

Bokanovsky

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This is all a load of crap, just like PUA. They are trying to sell you a product, nothing more.
 

Married Buried

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Epimanes said:
Bump to help married guys who have slipped towards azzhole mode to far or too often. Alpha is all fine and dandy but sometimes you need a heart too. Especially when the woman you married hands you her heart. Protect it. Cherish it, and learn who she really is.

Epi

I am a total a$$hole 90 percent of the time. It just comes naturally. I am really trying to work on it and be sweet and romantic. I told her I am working on it.
 

Epimanes

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Bokanovsky said:
This is all a load of crap, just like PUA. They are trying to sell you a product, nothing more.
Dude.. You don't have to buy anything. Yes I agree that there is some stuff you could buy ie: the books, but its not necessary. Most of the vital info is free. Mix and match to your liking. You probably won't tho (which is fine) since you seem to have a closed and shallow mind set. Sad really. Hope you soften up your hardened heart a bit one day.

Epi
 

Aubree

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The first step is to agree to resolve conflict in the sense that each of you must be happy with any solution. Make a pact. Agree that anytime you find you want different things, you will brainstorm together until you find a happy solution.
 

Epimanes

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Aubree. That is one of the primary rules that a hubby and wife need to follow. You both need to make unilateral decisons. On that site MB. Its called the policy of joint agreement. Which means you nor your wife do anything without the others approval. I know some men here will be all like f that but it works for both spouses. Not just the man conforming to what she wants and not just the woman conforming to what the man wants and NOT sacrificing for one another. If one of you is not happy with something the other wants then you brainstorm to abbadon for a win win scenerio. It works.. In my marriage it has bitten both my wife and I many times. She often hates it when I disagree with her cuz then she has to come up with something else and vise versa.
 

Frogster

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Im bumping this because its great advice, and ist a thread about cheating or divorce.
 

Colossus

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LiveFreeX's manifesto:

China rules
America sucks
Marry foreign and all your problems will be solved
I banged my wife today and we played xbox while talking smack about you newbs.


Refer to this anytime you need clarification on his posts. :rolleyes:
 

Married Buried

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Colossus said:
LiveFreeX's manifesto:

China rules
America sucks
Marry foreign and all your problems will be solved
I banged my wife today and we played xbox while talking smack about you newbs.


Refer to this anytime you need clarification on his posts. :rolleyes:
I'm still waiting to hear why I should move to China. OK, the only thing Livefree says is good are the women, but according to him:

You have to pay a large ransom to the family to marry her. Somehow he got away with not doing this.

You cannot buy food from supermarkets.

You cannot go out to eat because of gutter oil, so he eats McDonalds all the time.

He has never answered the question about his wife cooking, which leads me to believe she CAN'T.

He is leaving out these small details when he tells people to come to China.

Sorry man I had to call you on this.
 

Epimanes

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Move to canada instead.. The women here are freezing and need us men to cuddle up to them to keep them warm. China is over crowded. Besides, Canada has more square feet of awesomeness than any other country.

Epi
 
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