JT47319
Master Don Juan
In response to "Common AFC Mistakes", I thought I'd start a new thread based off of TylerDurden's (of RSD fame) 25 points. This is FIELD TESTED SHYT, not KEYBOARD JOCKEY crap.
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=6&mn=105532129385436
25 POINT CHECKLIST:
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=6&mn=105532129385436
25 POINT CHECKLIST:
- 1) FIDGETY MOVEMENTS AND TIGHT SHOULDERS AND TAKING YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY OR BEING TOO BUSINESSLIKE OR "SOPHISTICATED" (not laughing or being relaxed) = very visible subconsious (or conscious) self-doubt, overcompensating through non-relaxed state, where you're prepared to deal with anything that could happen. Ever met someone who doesn't blink when you talk to them?
- 2) TALKING TOO FAST (= worried that people will stop listening to you unless you get out something that will interest them before they leave
- 3) LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN JOKES (= covering up that you aren't affected that others didn't laugh, and social nervousness
- 4) SAYING "RIGHT" OR "YOU KNOW" AFTER STATEMENTS (= seeking validation that what you said was true, or saying it because others aren't
- 5) STANDING WITH LEGS NOT HALF A METER APART AT LEAST (= worried that you'll infringe on other people's personal space
- 6) TALKING TOO SOFTLY OR LOUD (= fear that you'll impose yourself on people and their personal space(ie: beta).. alpha males aren't afraid to project their voice.. YET, talking obviously too LOUD can also be seen as OVERCOMPENSATING. Just like guys who wear GENERIC clothes are trying to fit in, or guys who wear OUTRAGEOUS clothes are trying too hard to overcompensate. (hint: be careful with peacocking, find a style that doesn't come off this way, which can be tricky but is still very doable).. Some guys don't talk, some talk too much, etc etc.. Find appropriate balance through trial and error, which is determined through social observation,
- 7) MOVING YOUR HANDS AROUND WHILE YOU TALK (= trying to keep the attention of the group (sometimes can be cool, but most often a form of qualifying yourself)
- 8) LEANING IN *or* 'PECKING' (= too eager to talk.. NEVER lean in no matter how loud the environment is MAKE HER LEAN IN or just leave but NEVER lean in or "peck" as its also called.
- 9) FACING BODY/FEET TOWARDS HER BEFORE SHE EARNED IT (= trying to gain rapport with her too eagerly.
- 10) CHASING WHEN SHE WALKS AWAY (= hoping she'll listen. If a chick moves away from you, move your bodylanguage MORE away from her, so she'll be drawn back.. don't CHASE her... WTF?!@?!?
- 11) NOT WITHDRAWING (backturns, etc) WHEN SHE DOES SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULDN'T TOLERATE FROM AN UGLY GIRL OR A GUY (= trying too hard to pick her up
- 12) ANSWERING QUESTIONS TOO QUICKLY/EARLY (= too much interest in the conversation
- 13) TURNING YOUR HEAD (OR "SNAPPING") WHEN YOU'RE ADDRESSED (= too eager to be in convo.. so if your head is facing the other direction, and a girl says something to you, turn it SLOWLY to her, don't snap it out of eagerness to hear her
- 14) GOING BACK TO A PRIOR THREAD THAT WAS INTERUPTED AT THE FIRST CHANCE/BREAK-IN-CONVO THAT YOU GET (= trying too hard to impress them.. (ie: when a thread gets broken off in the convo, and you go back to it FIRST chance you get when the other topic ends, you look like you were WAITING to get back to it.. WHY are you so eager to get back on it, unless you don't feel comfortable around the person and you need to qualify yourself to them?) WAIT until THEY say "what was that you were saying before?", and THEN go back to it.. if it doesn't happen, *DROP IT* even if it was good.
- 15) NOT APPEARING MORE INTO YOUR WINGMAN THEN THE CHICK (= trying too hard to pick her up.. you've known your wingman longer than her.. why do you pay more attention to her than your wing???
- 16) TOO EAGER TO PAY ATTENTION - SAYING "what?" IF YOU CAN'T HEAR HER, PRIOR TO BEING IN RAPPORT (= too much interest in what she's saying.. if she mumbles, just STACK OPENERS into an entirely DIFFERENT topic, RATHER than saying "what?" This is ****ing KEY KEY KEY. If you say "what?" you'll lose her unless you're already past attraction and into rapport. If this happens, just run a new opener and change the topic.
1- you don't look too eager,
2- you look alpha for being disinterested in what she's talking about which helps anyway
- 17) REPLYING WITH OVERLY THOUGHT-OUT OF LOGICAL ANSWERS OR WITH OVERLY CLEAR/FORMAL PRONUNCIATION (= being concerned that you won't be accepted unless you convince really well (eg. HB: why did you ask me that... RIGHT = I'm talking. (sit and stare) WRONG = because I really need to know since I've been thinking about this for a while.. the FIRST one conveys that you won't qualify yourself to her)
- 18) TAKING TOO MANY SENTENCES TO STATE AN IDEA THAT COULD BE STATED IN LESS SPACE (= qualifying yourself. Commander Zap emails me a few months ago: "Remember TD, don't write what you can say, don't say what you can wink, don't wink what you can smile" TIGHT. The shorter you can explain something in, the more PROFOUND you'll appear. Why? You're not qualifying yourself. (ironically I'm massively guilty of this, due to the fact that I post when I'm really tired - see #21 to spot what was wrong with this last sentence)
- 19) BEING BOLD INSTEAD OF CONFIDENT (= that you know that you can't pick her up, so you compensate with self-defeating actions so that the snub can be on "your terms". Saying "I'm sexy right?" or "baby I want some of that" or even just approaching when the logistics are totally unrealistic is too eager, because a CONFIDENT person wouldn't feel the NEED to say these kinds of things.. these things are symptoms of OVERCOMPENSATION for INSECURITIES.. which leads to..........
- 20) OVERCOMPENSATING INSECURITIES (= fear of not being accepted. Have you ever met a janitor who the first thing he says is "money is over-rated.. I would never get caught up in the corporate world" blah blah.. if they'd have just said "I'm a janitor" and LEFT IT AT THAT we wouldn't have even THOUGHT that anything was wrong with it.. but because they INSTANTLY start overcompensating, it comes off as overcompensating or qualifying. Same with if they BRING IT UP TOO EARLY. Like "hey, I'm Steve.. I'm a janitor and I love it".. They're TRYING to be ****y but it comes off as COMPENSATING. BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF. If you're BALD, don't say "would you love a bald man?" as a pickup line. It's not ****Y.... its BOLD. If you're bad looking, don't say "don't you think I'm sexy". Just be comfortable with yourself, and don't bring up the issue at all.
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