Anxiety, diazepam and how it effects my life

switch7 said:

For as long as I can remember I have always had some form of anxiety that revolves around what people think of me and making mistakes/failures/looking stupid. Whether this is biological or whether it is due to being brought up by a man who was a neurotic, short tempered perfectionist, with no patience, I am not sure.

My anxiety seems to be at its peak when I am starting a new job as I fear making mistakes and looking stupid in front of other people. Also I have this fear of offending strangers, so usually I am always very cautious in conversation topics with people I don't know too well, which can make conversation very bland and boring. Speaking with girls can be an issue sometimes, fear of rejection etc..

A lot of people say 'stop caring what other people think and only care about what YOU think of yourself' it makes perfect sense but its easier said than done. I've read so many self help books and topics about this and they all point to the same answer, stepping outside your comfort zone etc. However the anxiety this produces is crippling for me at times, so much so that I won't think straight and my mind goes blank.

A few months ago I was working in a sales job. My job was to cold call clients and try and sell our product. This process generally created a state of real anxiety in me until I finally took a really bad call, and then after that I would get an adrenaline rush and wouldn't give a fvck and my anxiety disappeared. Then I would go for lunch and when I came back after lunch my anxiety of cold calling would be back again. So I could break out of this anxiety/fear of cold calling but it would always return eventually, making every day a rollercoaster of anxiety to a don't give a fvck state of mind, and then back to anxiety always winning in the end. This seems to be how the battle with anxiety works for me in other lif situations. I step out of my comfort zone and face my fears but then its not long before I slip back into anxiety mode.. Perhaps the answer is to be permanently out of my comfort zone? But how does one do that?

Anyway, It was apparent that a lot of the other staff took some form of drugs to cope with the work environment. I'd say about 33% of the sales floor were on drugs. A lot would spoke weed on their breaks, some were taking cocaine every day, some speed and there was also a fair few taking Xanax and diazepam. . I ended up being offered some diazepam and took it. What it feels to take diazepam is how I imagine people without anxiety issues to feel, what it feels to be normal. I was no longer bothered about taking bad calls, I would happily strike up random conversation with strangers, I didn't give a fvck about making mistakes, looking stupid or whether I was dressed well or looked good or bad on any particular day. I felt free and I felt like a normal person no longer plagued by thoughts of inferiority or what other people thought.

After a few weeks of taking diazepam I became more tolerant. I did some research and found out that you can get addicted and that you were only meant to take this medicine as a short term prescription. I immediately stopped taking them. Fast forward and the anxiety issues are back.

I have been to my doctor in the past about my anxiety and she just gave me a book to read, which was helpful but didn't help me too much.

Perhaps I need to go and see a doc again to find an answer to this. All I want is to feel normal and not have anxiety stopping me get on with my life. I don't even care too much about women at the moment. I just want to get anxiety issues sorted and then women will probably come naturally.

Anyone else been through anything similar? If so did you find a solution be it medication or self help?

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Reykhel said:

Mate all that internal chatter boils down to one thing: the belief that you cannot handle the situation. If you KNEW that you could handle every one of those situations....what would be left to fear? Nothing. So your answer, your antidote to that internal chatterbox is the simple phrase: "I'll handle it" Your answer to every "what if...?" is a simple "I'll handle it!!"

All that comes from one of the best books about fear. Feel the Fear....and do it anyway. by Susan Jeffers, yes a female author that gets a mention in David D's mastery series and the "I'll handle it" makes an appearance in Robert Glover's "No More Mr Nice Guy" which talks about "memory fear" and how to get rid of it (recommended)

I don't know what self helpie books you've read, but one I'd highly recommended based on your thread is "Your erroneous Zones" by Wayne Dyer. It deals with some personality traits that holds us back AND explains the reasons (the payoff) why we choose to hold on to "self defeating" behaviour (topics covered: breaking free from the past, you don't need their approval, worry and guilt the useless emotions)

Robert Greene and 50cent's "The 50th Law" also deals with fear and breaking free from all dependencies. A chapter I love from that book is "turning ****e in to sugar" in all perceived negative situations you TRAIN YOUR MIND to find the OPPORTUNITY.

Speaking of training your mind....have you ever tried MEDITATION? You should. There's an app called headspace, where you build up from 10 minute meditations to 20minutes...all guided. Meditation is unbelievable...it's what you gain "off the mat" as they say.

Do you exercise? Exercise is the key to beating anxiety and depression. I know it can be hard if your in the midst of a dark cloud...but surely you can at least WALK. Try walking each day and listen to one chapter of the audio version of the 50th law.

Contemplate and come to terms with your own death. It puts things into perspective. There really is nothing to fear in life if you've conquered your fear of death.

Every thought of a martial art? one word: sparring.

If you must use medication: have you heard of 5-htp?

Good luck, I hope you manage to calm the monkey mind.

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G Money said:

Love the topic... I just recently bought THE 50TH LAW book actually and need to get started!!

I too have some what been dependant on diazepam... withdrawals exist when you use it often and stop cold turkey, that's true and HIGHLY unpleasant. I too seek advice on how to stop anxiety naturally and would love any supplement / herb recommendations.

It definitely helps my motivation since my head "WORKS" on it, that's what sucks so much and makes it hard to abstain from taking them completely.

Definitely will get started on the book though, THANK YOU REY for your helpful post, meditation is also a must and been wanting to do that and try Yoga too!

Any anxiety sufferers by all means POST in here let's give each other help and advice, thanks OP for making this.

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Bible_Belt said:

Of course salespeople like to get fvcked up; it's a high stress job. I've had sales jobs where we had to split up in teams that were organized in accordance with our drug of choice. The people who were totally clean were the biggest weirdos; usually church was their drug. They definitely had to be kept separate to get along with the rest of us.

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