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Once there was a Musician - JOURNAL

TheMusic

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The night that turned my life around.

One guy. One girl. One epic location and time to make out. And he did not pull the trigger. Now, my dear fellows, you probably wonder; what's wrong with this man?
To be able to understand his actions, you might need a small backgroundstory.

(You can skip this if you want to go straight to my Plan of Improvement, or the Stories).

The Musician was born 18 years ago, in a little village somewhere in Europe. He happened to be quite an intelligent kid, and talented in sports and music. However, he had one big struggle; the social field. He did not get people, and since he skipped a class because of his intelligence, he was always the youngest kid and always had to act like he was older to fit in. Ik took him 12 years at school to finally fit in somehow. At age 14, he had his first kiss with a girl (DA). She was 17, and it was quite a slobbery experience. Girl number two (FL) was at a school dance. He tried to set up a movie date the day after, but didn't succeed. The girl got a girlfriend later, and The Musician was jealous. He was trying to find out how he could win over a girl, but seemed to fail all the time. Till summer holiday he kissed only one other girl (MI). This was at his pre-last year. In the last year of high school he made out with a few other girls, and his total count got to about 10 girls. He worked on acting, auditioned for a big movie, almost got the lead role but lost it to the son of a famous actor and got pissed of, and even more driven to become famous as ****.
The first year of college he scored about 20 more girls. But he wasn't happy. He felt like he was letting himself down, since somewhere, he know he could do better. He started looking to help himself, and found this website. He tried to start a journal, tried it again, but always quit. That's one of his bad quality's; monsieur is a quitter.
So what did he do to help himself? Well, after his date yesterday, he decided to leave all the ugly girls and go for the 10's. It's not just a resolution, he will not make out with ugly girls again. Never more. But how?

THE GOAL:
Become a wanted model/actor.

WHY?
Because I want to.

TO DO:
- Start doing more fotoshoots, get yourself a bigass portfolio and get into more casting agencies.
- Always improve yourself. Never be bored.
- Keep my life interesting enough to write awesome stories for this journal
- Be the chick. Don't text first, never buy drinks, accept drinks, keep distance
- Get people on SS to ask me interesting questions, and come up with interesting answers. Entertain SS.
- Keep on going. Never give up. Become famous before the year has passed.
 
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TheMusic

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I noticed, DanZy. I'm just not sure how to change that.
Norwegian; I'm not really sure what you mean. Could you explain a little more?
Or should I have read "Awaken The Giant Within" like you suggested a year ago...
 

NorwegianDJ

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You shouldve done everything I suggested a year ago. This includes doing your research on your own accord and find out what 'Limiting beliefs' are, without having someone spoonfeed it to you.
 

Jack Wealthy

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TheMusic said:
- Always improve yourself. Never be bored.
If you just hold that one goal you will succeed. That's it. Nothing else matters. Hold onto that with your dear life, spill blood before losing sight of it.

TheMusic said:
- Keep my life interesting enough to write awesome stories for this journal
No, do it for yourself. I'm a writer. I love to write. I do some things just to write about them. Like, once or twice a year. 364 days and 23 hours are for me for the sake of me doing what I want to do.
- Be the chick. Don't text first, never buy drinks, accept drinks, keep distance
Who cares. Keep distance? That's retarded man, be as close to people as you can. Physical proximity=emotional closeness.
- Get people on SS to ask me interesting questions, and come up with interesting answers. Entertain SS.
Don't entertain us. **** us. Do it for you.
- Keep on going. Never give up. Become famous before the year has passed.
Becoming famous is a ****ty goal. I know because I pursued it and achieved it. Pursue being the best at what you do; people who are famous for becoming famous are ****. I know a lot of them locally, they suck donkey balls. Think: Paris Hilton. Need I give another example?
 

TheMusic

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A weekend with the orchestra
Before: I talked with this chick (LI) who seemed cool, and made a deal we would sleep on the same room and bring something to drink. She reserved a bed next to hers.
Night 1: Moved from two top bunk beds to lower bunk beds (planning ahead like a boss). We sat with a group, it was dark, started playing with her hands, grabbed her hand when we both laid in bed, pulled her into mine, procrastinated things, had a fun make-out session. Drunkness. She was the most wanted girl among the guys, however, I'd give here a 7. And that's too low. So I owe my friend a Happymeal.
Night 2. Mad party. Me and another guy sandwiched almost every girl we saw, hugged with all chicks, noticed this one girl (PA) coming after me time after time. Weird ****. Made out with LI in the bathroom for a while, then took her outside. There we met a friend of mine who was walking with PA (they were drunk, we were drunk too). We walked for a while in the woods, then laid down to watch the stars. The girls started taking selfies, I told them to both give me a kiss for the picture. After that they both wanted me to give them a kiss at the same time; it ended up in a threeway-makeout. This girl was another 7, so damn. That's -2.

Debt: 2 happymeals
Experiences: Was loved by most people, always motivating others and getting the party started. Girls liked me. I made out with two girls at the same time, which was funny but not that interesting. I worked hard this whole weekend in practicing my instruments and skills.

Conclusion; Awesome weekend, no sevens allowed, even if you just wanna make sure no other guys will make out with them. BLARGH.
 

TheMusic

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You're probably right, but I just feel bad everytime I make out with a girl, and that isn't how it's supposed to be.

Progress & a new Job
I made an awesome scheme a few weeks ago, some sort of checklist (based on AlexLefty's thingy) in which I keep track of my progress, hours I practice skills and what I'm doing with my life.
It really helps me see if I'm improving and where I have to do some extra work.

I'm improving:
- Musicianship
- Social life

I need to work on:
- Working out
- Making sure I stay entertained in school
- Personal skills
- Homework.

About my job: I have to approach 100 strangers every working day; if I don't do it, I get fired. It's awesome!

Oh, and after tomorrow I'll quit NoFap. 150 days is long enough, and I'm getting too desperate. Noporn it is.
 

TheMusic

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NEW YEAR, NEW START!

Yeah, I like new starts. This year started with a girl grinding on me. Hot body, no make-out, 'cause I didn't like her face.

stats:

Make-outs: 7 hot, 15 medium, 10 ugly
Acting: Got through an audition with 300 other people, now in musicalbootcamp. In two months I'll know if I have a role.
Tomorrow I'm going to sign up for auditions for a big movie.
Modelling: Signed up for a nation-wide campaign, hope they'll pick me.

Things to improve:
- I'm not happy with most girls. I see making out with them as something I have to do, but I immediately regret it.
- I have little to no real friends. Or at least, it feels that way. Though I have no idea how to improve this.

Things that are going well:
- Music. Have a lot of performances.
- School. I'm allowed to skip classes 'cause the teachers know I learn way more when I study on my own.

New Year's Resolutions:
- No Fap (wanna break my old 150 day record)
- No Fast Food
- Daily Exercise
- Find a smoking hot GF/****buddy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pMM4iwC-ag
 

TheMusic

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02-01
Another day wasted. Spent my time playing videogames and watching movies. I know it's stupid and still I have no motivation to do things. Damn.
 

Jack Wealthy

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You do things and then you get the motivation to do them. Momemtum. If you don't push it, the ball will never start rolling. It's like music: The first few weeks of any instrument are boring because you can't play anything. Then it becomes amazing, the motivation takes care of itself and you improve visibly day by day.
 

TheMusic

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03-01
Went out to meet some people I met on vacation. I had a great time! Started out by watching some photo's, then we went iceskating (I totally impressed some people there) and then we ate pancakes and watched a movie. Moments like these make me wish I had more friends at home.

04-01
Started the day by being productive and doing homework. Halfway through I got distracted, started watching movies and crap. I did however manage to play a lot of music, and I went to see two friends in the evening. We had some beers, watched a few movies, went on chatroulette and started dancing and stripping randomly.

Another resolution: be productive!
Already got 4 strikes on that one, I need something to get myself to work harder once I receive the fifth strike.
 

TheMusic

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05-01
Completed 5.5/6 goals. Wrote down two pieces of music, practiced, had a general repetition, went jogging, worked out.

Bad news: didn't finish the homework I wanted to do today. That's bad, but I'm improving so no strike today.

I need to get more friends, and go to more parties. Therefore, I must get into more social circles. I can do that by not flirting with every girl I see, and investing in some friendships with girls.
 

TheMusic

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06-01
Made music, finished my homework (way too late), went to school, did the best I could, and was still bored as ****. I need to challenge myself more. Next year I'm going to study two different things at the same time, just to keep myself busy.

Not happy with today. Still procrastinated way too much. Got results, but too late.
 

Jack Wealthy

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There's a difference between being busy and being effective. You're doing a lot of work, but have you eliminated any? According to Pareto's principle 20% of it is giving you 80% of the results. Answer these questions:

What five things do I do (in order) that provide the most happiness and fulfilment?

What five things do I do (in order) that are the worst for my self esteem and happiness?

It's about energy not time management. You can only do so much without burning out and everything approaching that point is a waste. It was a hard lesson for me to learn but learning it... not even words.
 

TheMusic

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07-01
Went to work (fundraising). Usually I only speak to women between 30 and 60, but at our location there only were young students. So I totally had to change my game; AA all over again. Managed to approach some girls, but not the hot ones. Need to work on that, but I made the first step.

08-01
Performed at a local bar with my brother! Was fun, although we weren't that good. Need to practice more. Rest of the day was not really productive.

09-01
Worked pretty hard on an assignment. Went to music lessons with my brother. Attended a theaterclass (I seriously love theater!).

10-01
Handed in my assignment. Not really perfect, but it turned out better than I expected. Flirted with a cute girl in orchestra practice, thinking about taking her out some day. Then again, there exist cuter girls in this world...

11-01
Learned a lot at musical theatre lessons! My dancing improves and the acting class was really useful. After that I had dinner with a girl I hadn't seen in a few years. Had a good laugh, need to keep contact with her. She's fun and has a lot of cute friends. Then had a drink with the family because my nephew graduated. I noticed I'm getting better in keeping conversations going, yay!

Oh, and I saw one of the cutest girls I've ever seen in the train station. They do exist!

Response to Jack:
Jack Wealthy said:
What five things do I do (in order) that provide the most happiness and fulfilment?
- Acting
- Play incredibly hard pieces of music
- Sailing
- Beging recognized (I know, shouldn't be that way, yet it is)
- Working out

Jack Wealthy said:
What five things do I do (in order) that are the worst for my self esteem and happiness?
- The fact I don't have any real friends
- Procrastinating
- Comparing myself to others
- Going to classes that are useless
- Being surrounded by people I don't really like
 
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