Trouble forgetting about my ex

I could really use some help guys. I have not tried to contact her in any way/shape/form for about a week, the breakup is really getting to me. I don't wanna work or do anything, but push through it anyhow most of the time. I have been a gym rat everyday, house is spotless, got a new hair cut and some nice clothes.

But I still feel like shet ... It was just a short relationship but we both got too emotionally invested too fast (she told me she loved me after a week, didn't say it back to her.. Too early for me). I just wanna be the person I was before all this happened, could use some help figuring out how. I'm constantly wanting to see her fb and ig for some reason (this is not good and I try not to) and just in general obsessing.

At this point I've been bummed longer than the damn relationship, I feel like a chump about that. Thanks for your help guys.

No worries Scoop,

We've all been there. I did NC for the first time last year and it really does work. Now doing it for the second time (yeah, in two years!). It just takes time and getting on with all aspects of you're life. It sounds like you're making all the right moves.

Firstly, don't forget to rest from exercise. You need to recover as well and being over-tired will not help the mental state.

Secondly, I realise myself I need to steer away from the social media (see SamTheHobbit's thread currently in the making - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=224583 ) I last viewed my ex's ig last evening and then told myself to stop. I feel like I'm moving on already, rather than thinking 'Why she post that nonsense instead of message me...?'. Coz she's distracting herself too - from guilt, shame, loneliness, depression.

Lastly, get out of the house, go find some people to hang with. Guys and girls. Arrange a date, even with someone you're not that in to. Nothing need happen unless you want. Take the power back. Get a bit wasted, but not too much.

I've sorted my plans for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights with the boys and arranged a little gin date with some bird on Saturday afternoon. Yeah, I'm indoors tonight and tomorrow, but I'm really looking forward to the weekend.

Yeah man it's damn near impossible to forget about your ex so soon, so don't even try. All you can do is distract yourself enough throughout the day to where you don't think about her at all.

Something I did that you should think about is deactivating your Facebook account for a while. It's just temporary, but you'll feel much better after only a day. Blocking/unfollowing wasn't enough for me because I'd still see her name in that chat list on the side, so I just deactivated it and I can't tell you how vindicating it is.

Also take comfort in the fact that it happens to literally every guy in the world. It sucks, but it's life.

TheMonkeyKing said:

No worries Scoop,

We've all been there. I did NC for the first time last year and it really does work. Now doing it for the second time (yeah, in two years!). It just takes time and getting on with all aspects of you're life. It sounds like you're making all the right moves.

Firstly, don't forget to rest from exercise. You need to recover as well and being over-tired will not help the mental state.

Secondly, I realise myself I need to steer away from the social media (see SamTheHobbit's thread currently in the making - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=224583 ) I last viewed my ex's ig last evening and then told myself to stop. I feel like I'm moving on already, rather than thinking 'Why she post that nonsense instead of message me...?'. Coz she's distracting herself too - from guilt, shame, loneliness, depression.

Lastly, get out of the house, go find some people to hang with. Guys and girls. Arrange a date, even with someone you're not that in to. Nothing need happen unless you want. Take the power back. Get a bit wasted, but not too much.

I've sorted my plans for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights with the boys and arranged a little gin date with some bird on Saturday afternoon. Yeah, I'm indoors tonight and tomorrow, but I'm really looking forward to the weekend.

Click to expand...

Good plan, thanks man. Yeah I'm sore all over and even was sick today from too much body stress. I'm trying, good luck with your situation too!

Building_and_Loan said:

Yeah man it's damn near impossible to forget about your ex so soon, so don't even try. All you can do is distract yourself enough throughout the day to where you don't think about her at all.

Something I did that you should think about is deactivating your Facebook account for a while. It's just temporary, but you'll feel much better after only a day. Blocking/unfollowing wasn't enough for me because I'd still see her name in that chat list on the side, so I just deactivated it and I can't tell you how vindicating it is.

Also take comfort in the fact that it happens to literally every guy in the world. It sucks, but it's life.

Click to expand...

I thought about it, but she may have deleted my number when going nc, I'd like to be able to receive message from her if she comes back. Although I wouldn't reply right away or anything...

Fuk her. Why u want her to come back

Delete her from facebook. No questions asked. Just do it. And stop stalking the page. Just stop it. I stopped doing it with my borderline ex mistress from the depths of hell, 2 years we lived like a family, 2 ****ING YEARS! Ofc it aint easy. It cant be...

Now I do it from time to time, only to see the BS philosophical "truths" about love she posts next to the selfies liked by meek chumps (lol all stupid *****es do that) and reassure myself I made the right decision to dump the stupid *****. But when she called to tell me shes with someone new, oh the sting... That sting... That sting hurts. But it broke the chains. Its always like this when you dump. I like dumping. I always feel when disrespect arises.

And ex GFs always want to hurt you. THe more serious you were, the more pain they want to inflict. Always. Thank God I broke contact couse I dint want to be used as a leverage with the new fool. Nasty **** always use this tactic. Laugh at her BS, but stop looking at the page while you still have feelings which she dont, women cant feel real feelings and cant sustain them. Were the emotional sex. Just know it.

Go out with your friends.

Meet girls through them.

Approach stranger girls on the street to make sure your mojo still workin.

Anytme you think about her and you get hard beat it off, but dont think about her while doing it.

Contact old flames.

Basically do what you gotta do to **** her off your mind.

You were the prize, remember this, and wheather she dumped you or you dumped her remember, she missed the best guy she could have by being retarded ***** ass *****.

She will regret it in the long run. You wont. **** her off your brain. Of course, time heals. Good luck and always write here if you feel week, people here are nice.

mikey2012 said:

Fuk her. Why u want her to come back

Click to expand...

exactly. dont hope for that scoop. I get where your mind is at but you are better off moving on. I wanted nothing more than to get back with my ex for months, then she started hitting me up, we were hanging out like old times, but it wasnt the same at all. Once you break up the first time there is no point in trying again, start fresh with a new girl.

scoopshank said:

I could really use some help guys. I have not tried to contact her in any way/shape/form for about a week, the breakup is really getting to me. I don't wanna work or do anything, but push through it anyhow most of the time. I have been a gym rat everyday, house is spotless, got a new hair cut and some nice clothes.

Click to expand...

A vicious break up has the potential to dramatically transform you because of the amount of exertion often required to get yourself out of that hole. Hopefully, the momentum carries over and it becomes a part of your day to day life, so for example, you're not a gym rat for the time being because you're using an overwhelming amount of exercise to help elevate you, no, you're a gym rat now because that is a part of you. You don't read voraciously because you're trying to break free from the mental oppression following a break up, no, you read endlessly because that's now also a part of you. Same with anything else - cold approaching, any other hobbies you can think of, etc.

scoopshank said:

IBut I still feel like shet ... It was just a short relationship but we both got too emotionally invested too fast (she told me she loved me after a week, didn't say it back to her.. Too early for me). I just wanna be the person I was before all this happened, could use some help figuring out how. I'm constantly wanting to see her fb and ig for some reason (this is not good and I try not to) and just in general obsessing.

Click to expand...

You'll continue to feel like sh1t every time you drop in to see what's going on in her life on FB and IG. Avoid doing this AT ALL COSTS. The worst really isn't what you see on there, but what it feeds your imagination. Go cold turkey and don't look back. Browse through the NC thread for a shot of inspiration when you need it. You might want to start paying much more attention to your own life if you're falling this hard for a girl you've known for such a small amount of time.

It is hard after a breakup, especially if you liked a girl A LOT. But everything will be ok soon, you will see. I am saying this because I had very hard breakup not too long ago. It was so difficult to accept that it is over. But I made sure to be occupied everyday as much as possible and I talked to myself in front of a mirror,convincing myself that I have to move on and it is best to forget her. There is a reason you ended this relationship. Maybe you don't see that reason yet but you will. Who knows, maybe you will meet someone else very soon and discover that your ex is not even half of that girl.

I messaged her today after a week and a half of NC. Was slightly nervous but I was at a point where I wasn't attached to the outcome so figured to try and just get closure/move on if fail. Here's how it went:

Me: I found the card you gave me for Christmas, you were so nice to me

Can I take you out to the movies this weekend?

Her: I'd be embarrassed, I won't hang out with my ex

Me: It's only embarrassing for me, I was really sad when you left. I don't want to be your ex, I want you back as my girlfriend so we can be happy again.

Her: I'm busy Saturday, we can do something Wednesday if you want?

Me: Ok, yes I do


I ****ed up on her by acting like a douche at the end. I have no problem humbling myself during a fresh start to make it work. Anyways, got her back. Just FYI if any wanna try something like this. Many on here will say not to and move on. Use your gut and reach for your goals DJs


No offense but the advice on this forum kinda sucks. Seems like you guys are experts at "moving on". Makes me wonder what you're doing that's so Don Juan? Just waiting until some chick acts just the way you want them to?! Sometimes you need to compromise and seek a power shift opportunity at a later time or your plate is gone forever. I keep as many plates as I can. Could give a **** how I look to a bunch of key jockeys that don't ever get laid irl.

You will never be able to steal a girl's heart after showing her you don't even have one for her in return. Just that simple. Or maybe I'm just so hot I can get away with this **** .. Plus it's not like I won't be picking up other girls as well (at least for now).

Don't you dare come back here in 2 weeks crying that you broke up again and you're feeling sad and lonely! You hear?

When you come back, start reading the DJ Bible again, and then start posting about where you messed up and what you learned. :yes:

and not to mention, just because she agreed to meet with you doesn't mean she's taking you back. Keep in mind she said "I'd be embarrassed, I won't hang out with my ex". Right then and there you should have ended the conversation. She may be meeting you out of pity. Don't be a bit surprised if the cancells on you, or doesn't show up at all.

scoopshank said:

I messaged her today after a week and a half of NC. Was slightly nervous but I was at a point where I wasn't attached to the outcome so figured to try and just get closure/move on if fail. Here's how it went:

Me: I found the card you gave me for Christmas, you were so nice to me

Can I take you out to the movies this weekend?

Her: I'd be embarrassed, I won't hang out with my ex

Me: It's only embarrassing for me, I was really sad when you left. I don't want to be your ex, I want you back as my girlfriend so we can be happy again.

Her: I'm busy Saturday, we can do something Wednesday if you want?

Me: Ok, yes I do


I ****ed up on her by acting like a bossy douche at the end. I have no problem humbling myself during a fresh start to make it work. Anyways, got her back. Just FYI if any wanna try something like this. Many on here will say not to and move on. Use your gut and reach for your goals DJs

Click to expand...

Oh Scoop you have so much to learn young jedi. You didn't get anything back dude. This whole section is cringe worthy. Dude she dumped you wtf are you doing?

Scoops going back for round 2, this time it will be mortal kombat fatality. Her special move is called "flake".

Jesus christ man. DO NOT GO! Guys here warned me about getting back with my ex and i didn't listen. Guess what happened 3 months later?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT3OQwyvKmk

You just handed your balls to her. Good luck to being the biatch...

This thread is crackup. Op comes asking for advice, proceeds to ignore advice because it doesn't suit him and urges others to follow their guts by begging and grovelling to a girl who's dumped him. He then thinks a flimsy midweek meet means they're back on. Poor, deluded fool. She s already laughing and showing her friends the pathetic texts you sent and is working out what excuse to use when she flakes next week.

As above.

1) You are in love with girl
2) Girl tells you to go to hell.
3) You cry and ask for advice
4) Advice involves dating other women, learning new things, enjoying life
5) Ignore all advice
6) Ask girl on a date
7) Girl is making your head spin with text messages
7) You are in love with her again

It's brutal bro. Got to get some other girls to have fun with.

Leave him alone.Pain is best teacher.

She messaged me that she is available Saturday, moving up our date to tomorrow. I waited like 30 mins and said ok, she started asking several questions (making conversation). I was somewhat vague and took my time replying, her replies were more instant.

I feel good in general about it. Sure will be nice to get my barely legal FOB submissive, volunteer sex slave back. I'll keep you guys posted

scoopshank said:

I'll keep you guys posted

Click to expand...

Please do....