Johnnymahoe
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2014
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I met this girl a while back while on vacation during the holidays, she was from where I live. A few more things about her that I’ve learned over our four meet-ups that could help contextualize the situation: She does modeling, loves to talk about herself, refers to herself as an “alfa-female” on instagram and is constantly sending me photos of her model shoots. Ok so..
Got her number we agreed that we should hang out back at home. I was going home the next day she wasn't going home for another two weeks. In that span I texted her once to see how she was; to be honest I didn't really think we would hang out when she got back, but I wasn't too concerned, as I had a couple of other girls I've was/am smashing.
To my surprise she hits me up when she's back. We plan a date at a bar. It goes quite well, I drive her home and we make out in my car for at least a half hour with a lot of touching and groping.
After this first date, I think I started to get too much into my head with this girl. On the second date a few days later I didn't have the suaveness working as well, nonetheless, we made out for a bit at the end. I wanted to initiate return to someone’s apartment, but didn't partially because of logistics of work the next day.
Between the second and third meet up, she is texting me constantly, and although I am trying not to engage too much, I realize I probably am more than I need to be. I call her a few days later to set up another date for the weekend. She is saying how she she’s super busy. So I offer Tuesday and she says sure. When Monday comes around and I offer an idea through text, she responds, "oh well I was planning on going to Central Park with friends but you could come
". So maybe what I should have done was drop her right there since she seemed to have forgotten about our conversation, which kind of pissed me off. Well I didn’t. I know how a lot of guys on this site feel about hanging out with a girl's friends, especially early on, but I personally have had good experiences with it (I'm generally really good with groups of new people)
So this "date" went pretty well, to my surprise she was very touchy in front of her friends, holding my hand, kissing lightly. I also got along with them well. At the end of the night we were alone again going home on the subway and making out. Again, I could've initiated a return to one her apartment but didn't.
Right after this date, she starts texting me even more, including photos from her model shoot. I was starting to find somewhat annoying cause it’s seemed like she wanted me to tell her how hot she is and give her lots of attention. (She does modeling for small-time photographers). So I kind slow down with texts back to her. Overall the texting slows down over the next few days. I ask her to hang out a week or so later for the weekend. She gives me again all this stuff about “maybe” “I’ll let you know” “I’m really busy” blah blah blah. But we do end up agreeing to a Sunday meet up, though we haven’t confirmed where. I text her Sunday afternoon for an idea for where. At around 3 pm she flakes again with the lamest excuse, “my back hurts”. At this point I’m figuring it’s over with this girl. She says sorry but again doesn’t offer another time . I say it’s cool. Still the next day she sends me a picture of her art (Like do I care???). To which I responds a day late with a brief comment (“very dali”). I then erase her number.
Anyway skip ahead a week and half, I’ve got three other girls from whom I getting consistent lay. However. the girl that is the subject of this thread is more attractive and she remained on my mind. So I figured I’ll call her, if she doesn't pick up I’m totally done with her (I didn’t erase our texts so her number was still technically on my phone). She ends up responding; we catch up and have a nice little conversation. I then move to offering a date. Once again she starts making excuses about how busy is she is but gives me the “ill let you know" crap But, she mentions she’ll be freer in the beginning of the week. So I text her then to set something up, and she agrees to meet Wednesday. In this case I was very assertive picking an exact time and place to minimize the chance of a flake.
Going into this date, my mindset was that have I have to escalate attraction fast and try to get the bang that night. Now keep in my mind this is a Wednesday so logistically this is difficult. She has to wake up at 6am for work. We are at a bar close to her place, far from mine, and I have to be at work at 9. Anyway, the date is going well. We’re touching each other a lot; she’s very receptive, in fact I would say it was the most sexually receptive she had been since the first date. I kiss her a few times at the bar, but every time I do this she is the first to pull away (could be that because we were in a public place, and also I’ll admit I drank too much because the bar we were at had really cheap deals). She says she needs to leave so we exit the bar to walk to the subway. Now here is where I f*ck up.. Once we got the subway, we’re waiting for the train, (we’re going opposite direction so we’re on the downstairs platform.) Basically this is my chance to grab her and start making out with her and then say something like “ Are you really going to make me go all the way back home?” or whatever. But beta-like doubt keeps flooding my mind. First we’re in a sketchy and cold outdoor station of ghetto/gentrifying Brooklyn, not the ideal place to make out: I am also thinking about how little sleep I would get (I work with clients and need to be alert), and finally the conversation just isn't really leading towards sexual tension at this point, probably because my vibe has changed since leaving the bar and I’ve gotten all in my head. Anyway, my train comes first andwe have a simple kiss goodbye. That night she sends me the typical “did u get home ok" text.
The last correspondence we had was late Thursday night, when once again she feels the need to send me her model shoot photos, this time of ones that are far more racy and revealing then previous photos she had sent me. I try and be funny with a response like “nice shoes”.
Anyway, what should my next step be? I will say first, I have no interest in being a relationship with this girl, but clearly I do want to get in her bed, which is the only reason I am still trying to see her.
If I take the approach of not hitting up her again to hang out, I’m almost sure she won’t go ahead and ask me. I want to see if she wants to hang out soon but don’t know exactly when to ask again? I also want to make sure that our date leads to sex but 3 of our 4 meetings have been at a bars near her house, which is getting kind of tiresome. (I also live with my mother, though this isn’t that bad, as long we get home past 11). What I would like to do is have her over for dinner at my place, but I’m not sure if asking this would be too forward? Also based on her previous resistance to meeting up, I just don’t want to go through the ordeal of her flaking and messing up plans again. I realize totally that I may have already blown my chances by not initiating sex early enough. As I would imagine some respondents will say this girl is using me purely for attention. Do you see this is as her only motivation to stay in contact with me? Or is there indication of some other interest/attraction ? The fact that our dates have gone well/ that there has been a fair amount of sexual tension and general connection seems to be preventing me from just dropping her. I guess I am looking for one more best step, before I move on for good.
I appreciate any advice, and general comments regarding weeknight sex logistics, attention-seeking girls, etc.
Got her number we agreed that we should hang out back at home. I was going home the next day she wasn't going home for another two weeks. In that span I texted her once to see how she was; to be honest I didn't really think we would hang out when she got back, but I wasn't too concerned, as I had a couple of other girls I've was/am smashing.
To my surprise she hits me up when she's back. We plan a date at a bar. It goes quite well, I drive her home and we make out in my car for at least a half hour with a lot of touching and groping.
After this first date, I think I started to get too much into my head with this girl. On the second date a few days later I didn't have the suaveness working as well, nonetheless, we made out for a bit at the end. I wanted to initiate return to someone’s apartment, but didn't partially because of logistics of work the next day.
Between the second and third meet up, she is texting me constantly, and although I am trying not to engage too much, I realize I probably am more than I need to be. I call her a few days later to set up another date for the weekend. She is saying how she she’s super busy. So I offer Tuesday and she says sure. When Monday comes around and I offer an idea through text, she responds, "oh well I was planning on going to Central Park with friends but you could come
". So maybe what I should have done was drop her right there since she seemed to have forgotten about our conversation, which kind of pissed me off. Well I didn’t. I know how a lot of guys on this site feel about hanging out with a girl's friends, especially early on, but I personally have had good experiences with it (I'm generally really good with groups of new people)So this "date" went pretty well, to my surprise she was very touchy in front of her friends, holding my hand, kissing lightly. I also got along with them well. At the end of the night we were alone again going home on the subway and making out. Again, I could've initiated a return to one her apartment but didn't.
Right after this date, she starts texting me even more, including photos from her model shoot. I was starting to find somewhat annoying cause it’s seemed like she wanted me to tell her how hot she is and give her lots of attention. (She does modeling for small-time photographers). So I kind slow down with texts back to her. Overall the texting slows down over the next few days. I ask her to hang out a week or so later for the weekend. She gives me again all this stuff about “maybe” “I’ll let you know” “I’m really busy” blah blah blah. But we do end up agreeing to a Sunday meet up, though we haven’t confirmed where. I text her Sunday afternoon for an idea for where. At around 3 pm she flakes again with the lamest excuse, “my back hurts”. At this point I’m figuring it’s over with this girl. She says sorry but again doesn’t offer another time . I say it’s cool. Still the next day she sends me a picture of her art (Like do I care???). To which I responds a day late with a brief comment (“very dali”). I then erase her number.
Anyway skip ahead a week and half, I’ve got three other girls from whom I getting consistent lay. However. the girl that is the subject of this thread is more attractive and she remained on my mind. So I figured I’ll call her, if she doesn't pick up I’m totally done with her (I didn’t erase our texts so her number was still technically on my phone). She ends up responding; we catch up and have a nice little conversation. I then move to offering a date. Once again she starts making excuses about how busy is she is but gives me the “ill let you know" crap But, she mentions she’ll be freer in the beginning of the week. So I text her then to set something up, and she agrees to meet Wednesday. In this case I was very assertive picking an exact time and place to minimize the chance of a flake.
Going into this date, my mindset was that have I have to escalate attraction fast and try to get the bang that night. Now keep in my mind this is a Wednesday so logistically this is difficult. She has to wake up at 6am for work. We are at a bar close to her place, far from mine, and I have to be at work at 9. Anyway, the date is going well. We’re touching each other a lot; she’s very receptive, in fact I would say it was the most sexually receptive she had been since the first date. I kiss her a few times at the bar, but every time I do this she is the first to pull away (could be that because we were in a public place, and also I’ll admit I drank too much because the bar we were at had really cheap deals). She says she needs to leave so we exit the bar to walk to the subway. Now here is where I f*ck up.. Once we got the subway, we’re waiting for the train, (we’re going opposite direction so we’re on the downstairs platform.) Basically this is my chance to grab her and start making out with her and then say something like “ Are you really going to make me go all the way back home?” or whatever. But beta-like doubt keeps flooding my mind. First we’re in a sketchy and cold outdoor station of ghetto/gentrifying Brooklyn, not the ideal place to make out: I am also thinking about how little sleep I would get (I work with clients and need to be alert), and finally the conversation just isn't really leading towards sexual tension at this point, probably because my vibe has changed since leaving the bar and I’ve gotten all in my head. Anyway, my train comes first andwe have a simple kiss goodbye. That night she sends me the typical “did u get home ok" text.
The last correspondence we had was late Thursday night, when once again she feels the need to send me her model shoot photos, this time of ones that are far more racy and revealing then previous photos she had sent me. I try and be funny with a response like “nice shoes”.
Anyway, what should my next step be? I will say first, I have no interest in being a relationship with this girl, but clearly I do want to get in her bed, which is the only reason I am still trying to see her.
If I take the approach of not hitting up her again to hang out, I’m almost sure she won’t go ahead and ask me. I want to see if she wants to hang out soon but don’t know exactly when to ask again? I also want to make sure that our date leads to sex but 3 of our 4 meetings have been at a bars near her house, which is getting kind of tiresome. (I also live with my mother, though this isn’t that bad, as long we get home past 11). What I would like to do is have her over for dinner at my place, but I’m not sure if asking this would be too forward? Also based on her previous resistance to meeting up, I just don’t want to go through the ordeal of her flaking and messing up plans again. I realize totally that I may have already blown my chances by not initiating sex early enough. As I would imagine some respondents will say this girl is using me purely for attention. Do you see this is as her only motivation to stay in contact with me? Or is there indication of some other interest/attraction ? The fact that our dates have gone well/ that there has been a fair amount of sexual tension and general connection seems to be preventing me from just dropping her. I guess I am looking for one more best step, before I move on for good.
I appreciate any advice, and general comments regarding weeknight sex logistics, attention-seeking girls, etc.
