Boss/Colleagues

I had this question on my mind quiet a while ago and wanted to see what you guys think about it

{I don't recall if opening a thread about this topic}

Most of the Colleagues/Bosses who i came across in my last 10 years of my employment were 90% Males and 10 % females { I work in the IT Field}.

Most of these males are White knights/Manginas/Beta/Possy beggars. I don't really care about their choice to become one, but the problem i face is their behaviour at work.

They favor women/ help women / support women/ do favors to them/ let them do what ever they want to do.

They really don't care about other male colleagues or consider their requests.
I have seen them been rude/ meaning less in time towards male colleagues.

I know you guy might say, start your own company or start a gig. At this point in time i cannot do that as my residency is in process, when i get it i will do that

How you guys handled such kind of work environment? Any thoughts

I currently work in both I.T. and law enforcement. What I have repeatedly seen in I.T. at multiple places I have worked is that women get put into technical positions and don't cut it due to incompetence and/or laziness. But rather than get fired like they should, they get promoted to managers/supervisors! Typically above their level is a white knight male who favors women just like you said.

I have been at my current IT gig for almost 8 years and it's only been within the past year or so that i have really been able to build myself a solid safety shield for the stuff that goes on with both managers and co-workers. This is pretty much my IT job here:

http://www.killingmycareer.com/the-sociopathic-business-model/

As far as what I personally have done:

- I use Email as much as possible to cover my a$$. I return voicemails with Emails and consider any verbal conversation the equivalent of walking out on a Civil War battle field with no weapons or protection. This is because people will never be accountable for what they say, are told, are tasked to do, or their own mistakes and shortcomings.

- If I am forced to engage in a verbal convo with ANYONE that I don't fully trust, I send a followup "per our conversation" email

- If a manager or coworker does something that worries me in regards to my own employment safety, reputation, etc., I email the HR Director and her assistant and say "please put this in my personnel file but no action is needed at this time".

- If people are REALLY out of line, I file grievances with HR.. . I actually did that once to a manager 3 levels above me when we almost got into a physical fight.

- I study a lot of law. I will not hesitate to tell people that I know about workplace laws, slander/libel/defamation related laws, criminal laws, etc. and I will NOT HESITATE to deal with any nonsense that comes my way swiftly, promptly, and harshly.

- I also make it known to people that I can fight them without an attorney so if they want to bring the **** on, bring it. Wont be anything but time for me

- Around our office we all post random things to our private office doors for others to read. A lot of humor, IT related stuff, funny pictures, anything clean. I often post stuff about laws especially if I suspect someone is thinking about misbehaving I will find an applicable law and post it to my door but won't say a word.

- If I hear a peep of people talking smack about me that could potentially harm my reputation I send them what's called a "cease and desist" letter to knock it off or get sued for slander.

Through all of this people respect but fear me big time. They know they better have their facts straight and not play any screwy sociopathic games that involve me or it will be real trouble for them. The sociopaths who I used to tangle with all the time haven't been a problem for me in about a year.

The workplace is a jungle, or often can be anyway.

Now, my other job as a cop, a whoooole different story... Everyone there is great people and there is no drama or problems. Great leadership. The Chief actually got rid of some female officers for causing trouble . He doesn't fvck around... zero bullsh|t... That is rare these days.

I currently work in both I.T. and law enforcement. What I have repeatedly seen in I.T. at multiple places I have worked is that women get put into technical positions and don't cut it due to incompetence and/or laziness. But rather than get fired like they should, they get promoted to managers/supervisors! Typically above their level is a white knight male who favors women just like you said.

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I have to totaly agree with you. I have seen PM's becoming Manager's and BA's becoming PM's because they are females and mangainas are behind them

in every company i see this.

Instantly i lose respect for that company when they do this.

Maximummax said:

I had this question on my mind quiet a while ago and wanted to see what you guys think about it

{I don't recall if opening a thread about this topic}

Most of the Colleagues/Bosses who i came across in my last 10 years of my employment were 90% Males and 10 % females { I work in the IT Field}.

Most of these males are White knights/Manginas/Beta/Possy beggars. I don't really care about their choice to become one, but the problem i face is their behaviour at work.

They favor women/ help women / support women/ do favors to them/ let them do what ever they want to do.

They really don't care about other male colleagues or consider their requests.
I have seen them been rude/ meaning less in time towards male colleagues.

I know you guy might say, start your own company or start a gig. At this point in time i cannot do that as my residency is in process, when i get it i will do that

How you guys handled such kind of work environment? Any thoughts

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I've seen this happen quite a bit earlier on in my career path, however I don't really know if it's white knight as much as "big fish in a little pond" syndrome.

Picture these 2 scenarios:

1. Boss is not married, but kind of geeky and not to social outside of work. Since his title says boss, or manager, or something like that, he feels that he has superiority over the other guys in there and uses it to hit on chicks.

Not being a true "alpha", he figures it's easier to get into these ladies pants by being very nice and catering to their needs. The chicks know that if they're nice to him and give him the impression that they might put out or they actually do put out, they may have the opportunity at a raise or promotion.

The male employees will never get this type of attention unless the boss is gay!

2. Boss is married, and his wife plays the dominant roll at home and makes all of the rules. This boss will be worse at work, being that he gets to play the dominant roll there.

He'll act like he knows everything in front of the guys below him, and the women in front of him. However, this boss will always be hitting on the women and trying to get laid because he hates his wife at home.

Either scenario sucks, but it's in a lot of businesses and hard to get away from. Generally, try to be nice, keep your head down, and never get caught hitting on a coworker that he's got his eyes on! Get caught doing that and the axe is swinging for your neck!

Good luck with the citizenship brother, and be blessed!

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to logicallefty again.

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logicallefty said:

- If I hear a peep of people talking smack about me that could potentially harm my reputation I send them what's called a "cease and desist" letter to knock it off or get sued for slander.

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I'm very interested in this approach. Have you ever had to use one of these letters? Do you also copy your company HR or anyone else? Do you mail it certified to them at work or something, or just hand it to them directly? Do you draft these yourself or have an attorney do it on his firm's letterhead?

Do you have an example template you can post? How far does it have to get before you use one of these?

I just wanted to add my general advice that I always give here is never date any woman from work, period. I also keep work/personal life separate which means no going out after work with co-workers for "drinks" or whatever the hell else....bbq's, holiday picnics, never RSVP to the company Christmas party...nothing. Some people will ask why you never come. It's none of their damn business, just tell them you're really busy and leave it at that.

One stupid slip up and you could end up on the unemployment line tomorrow. Don't ever let yourself get put into that position because you never truly know who will cry to someone who also happens to be giving him blowj*bs under his desk during the day when he's bored.

BetterCallSaul said:

I'm very interested in this approach. Have you ever had to use one of these letters? Do you also copy your company HR or anyone else? Do you mail it certified to them at work or something, or just hand it to them directly? Do you draft these yourself or have an attorney do it on his firm's letterhead?

Do you have an example template you can post? How far does it have to get before you use one of these?

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In my lifetime I have probably sent out 7 of these letters total and each and every time the slander stopped to my knowledge. I mail them to the person's home address via Certified US Mail. If it's stuff going on at work I keep HR advised but I don't give them a copy of the letter. I actually got the idea from a Judge years ago who said that a letter like this is the first step to try and get slander to stop before taking up the court's time about the issue. He said he won't hear a case like this if attempts to solve the matter outside of court haven't been attempted. As far as the wording on the letter, it's mostly my words I did not use an attorney. I did send one to an attorney once because the attorney was the one slandering me. Never heard another peep out of the b|tch after so it must have worked lol

Here is a sample:

Dear XXXXX

I am writing to you PRO SE in regards to a possible legal matter between you and I.

I have been advised that on multiple occasions in the recent weeks you have uttered potentially defamatory statements against myself. In specific, I have been advised that you have uttered defamatory words to third parties in regards to your personal opinions of my character, as well as work performance in my position at XXXXX.

Ma'am, you may not have the background to understand the risks that you are taking by engaging in this behavior. Be advised that there are several established sources of case law regarding these types of matters. For example, "A statement is considered defamatory if it tends to cause such harm to the reputation of another that it lowers that person in the eyes of the community or deters third persons from associating with him." Zinda v. Louisiana Pacific Corp. 149 Wis.2d 913, 440 N.W.2d 548 (Wis. 1989) Also, you should be advised that falsely accusing someone of a crime in Illinois is the #1 ground for "defamation per se". Solaia Tech., LLC v. Specialty Pub'g Co., 852 N.E.2d 825, 839 (Ill. 2006).

Ma'am, with all due respects, I will not tolerate any defamation to my character from any person regardless of their rank or position. Please be advised that this letter serves as your official, legal "demand letter" and fair warning that I am trying to prevent these issues from escalating further between you and I. You are hereby commanded to CEASE AND DESIST uttering of any further slander, libel, or defamatory statements against myself. If the said actions on your part are true as I am advised, and they continue, then you can expect a lawsuit to be promptly filed against you where I will seek monetary damages including but not limited to punitive damages against you for your actions.

You may have your attorney respond to me unless you declare yourself as PRO SE in these matters. Ma'am I hope you and I can reach some common ground on these and other related matters, and move forward and work together cordially and professionally without further issues between each other.

Respectfully Submitted,


Logical Lefty

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Damn wish I knew this years ago...I could seriously have had a few jokers by the balls...

glass half full said:

Damn wish I knew this years ago...I could seriously have had a few jokers by the balls...

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I know right. The other thing to go along with this is that the same Judge told me that if you try to resolve it before going to court and your attempts fail, all he wants you to do is bring him a screenshot of one slanderous Facebook or other post (libel in legal terms, slander in writing), one SINGLE post, and he will award you damages. All these women that post smack on social media don't realize that if someone with this knowledge wants to, they can turn the smack into cash.