Thanks everyone for the comments, I figured this would generate some discussion.
I am aware that I am taking some risk.
Which means you should always ask, what is the expected reward? Sure, we all take risks the moment we decide to operate a vehicle, we could be killed by a drunk driver or a deer or anything. But the reward is being free and being able to continue to operate your life. What do you think the reward or return of taking the risk with this marriage contract is?
However, that risk is somewhat mitigated by the circumstances:
In TX, she can't lay any claim to my house or portion of its value if I own it before we marry. Even if she can prove she paid half the mortgage, it doesn't matter. I recently refinanced my house and used cash out to pay off all other debt, so I can focus on paying off my house and that will be secure.
- The 401k exclusion is also common in TX and holds up well in court. I'll be putting as much as I can in my 401k.
- She makes good money. It will save me money to have her sharing expenses.
You really can't mitigate the risks because your wife could stop working and in some form or fashion become a stay at home mother. If that happens and you divorce, she will argue that her marketplace skills have decreased during the time she wasn't working and alimony could be considered. In addition please understand that a Prenup is not Insurance, it's a pre-arranged contract at the beginning of the marriage for how both parties (assuming conditions are the same) expect the ending of the marriage to go about. But if conditions change, like your wife becoming at stay at home mother, then the provisions within the Pre-Nup will be argued against.
I have internalized that she will stay with me as long as it is in her best interest. Maybe beyond that as well, but I am not counting on that. So my real risk is that once her kids are raised that she'll decide to move on. That's a decade from now.
So you do understand that once she no longer finds you entertaining or she's no longer "interested" in being married to you, she can just leave? So the question is, why sign a contract that's based on lifetime love? Why not just enter into some type of arrangement based on short or medium term love? Short term as in 5 years, 10 years or 15 years? You should never sign a marriage contract unless you are going to DIE with that woman and you are going to go through WHATEVER BULLSHYT that marriage has you going through, and also that your woman is going to do the same thing...that is, stay with you and tolerate any bullshyt you throw at her. If you don't think you can do this or if you don't think she will do this, why sign this contract?
But I want this, so it's worth a calculated risk to me. I can't come felt explain why I want it, but I do. Maybe not so different from someone who wants to live quietly in the woods or downtown in a tiny apartment. They both give up different things to get what they want.
And yes, I have discussed the financial details with her and she responded well and agreed to my structure.
But I do plan a long engagement, and I'll be watching for new red flags.
I would just love to hear why you want to sign this contract? You already have the woman, you are sleeping with the woman, you are technically already MARRIED to her from a relationship/rapport/"in love" standpoint. Why do you need to sign a contract that vows you and her will never break up, when circumstances beyond your control can lead to your breakup?
