Why do guys Continue to be beta?

My buddy got flaked on and was given a lame excuse minutes before he was sposed to go out with some chick. I told him to put her on ignore and move on. Then his ex added him on fb and I told him let her come to you. He was all anxious to talk to her even after all the drama he went through with her. The next day he was liking and commenting on every post she made. Now she knows he's desperate and she will inevitably play mind games with him. He's fantasizing about rekindling the relationship and just can't get it through his head that he's acting like a wuss, even after I confronted him and let him know how desperate and feminine his actions are.

Even after me telling him she was just testing the waters to see if he would bite, he looked at me like I was stupid. He could have kicked back and let her do all the work. He also excepted that excuse from the other girl and remade plans with her. I was like don't you get it? She just disrespected your time and you just failed the test by telling her she's more important then your wasted Saturday might.

People want to believe in ideals, but at some point, you must accept reality. It's part of the maturation process. Sh*t, I know some 50+ year old men who STILL have not grown up.

The old 'leading a horse to water' and all that applies here. There will always be betas and white knights.

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:

Because its more intuitive to be beta and thereby act 1. acoording to your basic impulses and 2. consistent with cultural propaganda you are raised in.

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I've always thought that this phenomenon exists because men act in a way that is consistent with what they want. They know what they want from a girl so they act in a similar way. The problem is that men and women are opposite, masculine is not feminine, yin is not yang. Usually guys figure this out after they screw up a few times.

Not sure why women don't seem to fall victim to this. Or maybe they do - thinking that men want women who are confident, or accomplished, or think they will be attracted to tattoos. Or maybe they just learn early on that having boobs will get them all the attention they need.

Because acting beta is safe. I have a friend who's very beta and doesn't learn from his mistakes when he's constantly being rejected or turning women off. He's frustrated and doesn't like going out anymore. Thinks the world is against him.

He also talks crap about me to other friends claiming "guys like me ruin it for nice guys like him" when it comes to women.

His excuse is that he just hasn't found the right one yet.

zekko said:

I've always thought that this phenomenon exists because men act in a way that is consistent with what they want. They know what they want from a girl so they act in a similar way. The problem is that men and women are opposite, masculine is not feminine, yin is not yang. Usually guys figure this out after they screw up a few times.

Not sure why women don't seem to fall victim to this. Or maybe they do - thinking that men want women who are confident, or accomplished, or think they will be attracted to tattoos. Or maybe they just learn early on that having boobs will get them all the attention they need.

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They know it but they can just fall back act however the hell they want to because there will always be an orbiter beta accepting any of her behaviors and they become comfortable and don’t see a need to change.

Betas also keep a mindset of a losing gambler.

"I've lost the last 50 pulls with slot machines\women but there is no way these slot machines\women could be rigged\fake, NO WAY.. So the next ONE will be THE ONE I will score big, I just know it!"

Very simple, being "alpha" or "don juan" or "red-pill minded," is not a social norm. Yes, you will stand out being these things and it will surely increase your conversion of women to dates/lays, but again you are operating out of the social norm.

The main reason guys are beta is because they are socially conditioned to do it and breaking out of that mode would almost (always) involve letting go not just of pre-set notions....but prior relationships.

How can you be a Red Pill guy and sit there listening to your buddy with his Blue Pill philosophies? Surely you will begin debating with him and surely that relationship will start to turn sour.

So while a lot of men eventually learn some form of "red pill" in relation to women, dating, the Family Court, etc.....very few men have the courage (of say a guy like me) to actually follow through with being more Alpha, DJ and MGTOW because it's like leaving the 100 year old Family Corporation to start your own start-up.

Tenacity said:

How can you be a Red Pill guy and sit there listening to your buddy with his Blue Pill philosophies? Surely you will begin debating with him and surely that relationship will start to turn sour.

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Being able to debate logically and without emotion is a also a skill learned after the exit out of the matrix. Most of the time, your debate skills get better because they are rooted in reality and not an emotional ideal. Take you and I for example....I don't necessarily agree with your anti-marriage stance, but I don't recall us ever having a discussion that ends up swirling in the toilet of Wow Just Wow like we both have had with other posters, especially when an idealist is backed into a wall.

So yeah, it's a Catch-22. Have you noticed it's usually ALWAYS the blue-pill side that consistently turns sour? Hardly anyone 'matures' into blue-pill. If they do, they were just a clueless, careless nobody to begin with, who just NEEDED something to believe in.

speed dawg said:

Being able to debate logically and without emotion is a also a skill learned after the exit out of the matrix. Most of the time, your debate skills get better because they are rooted in reality and not an emotional ideal. Take you and I for example....I don't necessarily agree with your anti-marriage stance, but I don't recall us ever having a discussion that ends up swirling in the toilet of Wow Just Wow like we both have had with other posters, especially when an idealist is backed into a wall.

So yeah, it's a Catch-22. Have you noticed it's usually ALWAYS the blue-pill side that consistently turns sour? Hardly anyone 'matures' into blue-pill. If they do, they were just a clueless, careless nobody to begin with, who just NEEDED something to believe in.

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Yes, I have noticed this with Blue Pill guys and also anyone that's usually Liberal in general. The basis of their argument is always an emotional one rather than a logical based one, and instead of really spending their time trying to prove your stances invalid....instead they spend most of the time pointing out:

- You sound mean

- You seem like you don't like (insert whatever group here)

- You seem like you are just bitter and angry

- I don't like your tone, you need to work on your delivery and be nicer when doing it.

This is usually what the argument turns into rather than a logical debate of opinions and ideas.