Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Player to Married, Important Advice for All

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Hi guys,

It's skip2mylou781, I used to love this place when I was younger (19-21 yo), but then got banned multiple times because i a) talked back to idiots and b) created new accounts to talk back to the same idiots while attempting (and failing) to give advice to newbies on how to be successful with women. I apologize for that, this was like 7 years ago but I still apologize - i got all caught up in using the wrong method of communication (i was never a communications major!), and while my advice resonated with the 1% that it helped out, some took it as insults and hate, and i continued to be banned over and over, despite coming back in an effort to give more advice.

That's all nice and well, but here we are 7 years later. Back then i was around 20, fresh outta college, and hooking up left and right with random chicks (****y/funny and gunwitch is and always will be the way to go when it comes to getting random lays).

I am now 29, married for 5 years, and mostly happily.

Marriage is an awful thing. The process of continually being together with 1 person day in and day out, and dealing with them is unreasonable, and can only be successful if you love the ever living hell out of that person.

There is no alternative. You have to love that person fully inside and out in order to just make a marriage WORK - otherwise you are doomed to a life of misery.

It's not my beautiful nice giving hard working wife that's the problem, it's MARRIAGE that is the problem, in this society. There is only one way that marriage has a chance to work these days - it's if you love you wife and she loves you in every way possible, and then the negative effects of marriage can be forgiven because the love is strong.

I can not imagine a man being married to a woman who either doesn't enjoy having sex with them, or who takes money from them to buy things, or is really mean to them and talks to them with no respect, ect ect ect.

Now, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY

Before you ever DARE get married, you need to have dated all the psychos, nutjobs, sex addicts, cheaters, liars, prudes, girls that say something that doesnt quite make sense to you...........these all need to be out of the way, and not only out of the way, but they need to be DUMPED by YOU as a way of saying hell no i will never put up with this.

You simple don't know what a pBPD or a psycho or a sex addict (or opposite of sex addict) is until you date one, and then dump one. Yon never want to marry one and find out the hard way.

Final message in this thread:

Only marry if it makes you happier than you currentlyl are, and makes you happier than not being married. And never get married unless you have experienced dating and dumping unqualified women (psychos, bdps, sex-wierdos). You need to know exactly what you need to stay away from
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
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Good post. I always appreciate these player-to-married man insights.

I have been having my own misgivings about marriage lately. And like you said, it's not my girlfriend. She's a virgin, sweet, giving, good self-esteem, young, pretty, and we share the same spiritual beliefs. Really and truly the best girl I have dated out of dozens and dozens and I can say with confidence she is the best---for me.

It's the prospect of living with one person, every motherfvcking day, for life that is scaring me. It does seem unreasonable but it's an all-or-nothing deal. Most women wont tolerate being a permanent gf, and what's the point of marriage if you are going to live apart like you are still bf/gf? I am overall happier with her than I was even in the peak of my playing days...it was fun to discover new tail but never as glossy as you imagine it. You get to see women for what they really are, and it becomes demoralizing after about 30 or so lays. I think it's just the chase and the excitement of new variety we crave.

I have no misgivings about this girl, it's the massive commitment I am about to undertake. Her mother just gave us her original engagement ring to use for our ring....and it just kind of hit me that this is no longer just an idea in my head.

Anyways, I have no point to make but thanks for the insight.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
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I will second that. I ended a brief marriage last year and I have no regrets. My ex and I are on great terms and the divorce cost me next to nothing. More importantly I feel free and alive; I felt caged in marriage and I was in one of the better relationships/frames you could imagine. I recognized it wasn't fair to my wife if I didn't love her enough to want to stay married, nor was it fair to myself. It wasn't easy to end it nor to get over it, and I even caught some flack around here for it, but I'm at peace with the decision and haven't looked back.

I will say there are times I miss the easy-going companionship, laughter, etc. But there are also times I'm alone with my thoughts, undisturbed, working on things, or leaving the apartment at the drop of a hat to grab a beer, etc. that make me grateful I'm single. I can see the pluses and minuses of both lifestyles and for now I know what works best for me.
 

Kailex

Master Don Juan
Joined
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New Jersey
I'll chime in here, because I appreciate insight from men who have gone from one end of the lifestyle to the other.

I used to buy into the fantasy of marriage and living with someone and just straight up being with only one person... I got as far as living with two different people and both times, that act alone sent the relationship into a decline.

I don't see a reason to go past an LTR where we both live apart, and if I get to the point where she wants more than that, then it is time to move on. I'm very adamant of saying these are my intentions and they won't change.

However, there will be men that think differently than me, and yes, some weeks I do get tired of the chase, specifically because I know how it will end... but I prefer that to a legally binding contract that can further bring pain on my life.

My sister recently got engaged after 5 years of a wonderful relationship. Yesterday she called me crying because her last 2 months since becoming engaged have been by far the worst and they haven't even married. They now argue about money, past choices, the wedding, etc... etc... etc... and they are at least a year away. The reality sinks in and it is VERY daunting.

Being at 33, I do realize that I have PLENTY of time to change my mind... eventually. But for now, I am perfectly YOUNG and HAPPY being this way. I own up to this and so far no woman has changed my mind or even come close about it. As men, we need to realize that there is absolutely no reason to rush such a HUGE commitment AT ALL.
 

Yo'Mama

Master Don Juan
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Sobering post and prescient for me.

Am getting pressured not only into marriage, but marriage and kids. I don't want to be married or have kids but:

1. I don't want to lose this girl
2. We have been together (with a couple of breaks) for about ten years. She is mid-thirties and if we split now I feel like I've taken away her chance to have kids. Although to be fair I always made it clear that I couldn't stand kids. I think the most I said was, 'I may change my mind in the future, who knows?' I think that statement was taken as, 'I don't want them now but probably I will want them in the future,' which was definitely not what I was trying to say.

FML.
 

Kailex

Master Don Juan
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If you absolutely don't want marriage and kids but she absolutely does... you need to cut it off right now. I get that you don't want to lose this girl, but the resentment created from keeping this going is going to be monstrous if you continue with her.

Are you sure you are afraid to lose her or afraid to start over... because 10 years is a long time, but a lifetime of a resentful woman can seem like centuries.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
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Yo'Mama said:
Sobering post and prescient for me.

Am getting pressured not only into marriage, but marriage and kids. I don't want to be married or have kids but:

1. I don't want to lose this girl
2. We have been together (with a couple of breaks) for about ten years. She is mid-thirties and if we split now I feel like I've taken away her chance to have kids. Although to be fair I always made it clear that I couldn't stand kids. I think the most I said was, 'I may change my mind in the future, who knows?' I think that statement was taken as, 'I don't want them now but probably I will want them in the future,' which was definitely not what I was trying to say.

FML.
If you have kids with her it'll be because it's what she wants but not what you want. Thus you'll have one unhappy person, and one temporarily happy person. In the long run your unhappiness will poison the environment. That's a bad way to raise kids IMO, let alone sustain a relationship. Let her find someone who is equally excited to be a parent.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear SkiptoMyMarriage,
When you are young,you are just soo busy,its Work,home,quick bit of fun,sleep...Then Kids come,you never get a rest...but you can cope with marriage,but when you have the kids and career sorted out,as the years go on it gets harder and harder to enjoy having a Woman under your feet...No the single life is the only way!
 

Married Buried

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Holy crap I just read this after posting my thread. Skip are you still married?
 

LiveFreeX

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If you like a woman enough to have kids with her then marriage is a good idea. My wife is my most useful and loyal friend, just makes good sense to your marry and shag your best friend.
 

Married Buried

Master Don Juan
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LiveFree moves to China and just because his woman isn't acting up he acts like his relationship is better than everyone else and marriage is great. Forget moving to China, we are in America. Your case is NOTHING like our case. Stop pretending it is.
 

Greg S

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Skip To My Marriage said:
Hi guys,

It's skip2mylou781, I used to love this place when I was younger (19-21 yo), but then got banned multiple times because i a) talked back to idiots and b) created new accounts to talk back to the same idiots while attempting (and failing) to give advice to newbies on how to be successful with women. I apologize for that, this was like 7 years ago but I still apologize - i got all caught up in using the wrong method of communication (i was never a communications major!), and while my advice resonated with the 1% that it helped out, some took it as insults and hate, and i continued to be banned over and over, despite coming back in an effort to give more advice.

That's all nice and well, but here we are 7 years later. Back then i was around 20, fresh outta college, and hooking up left and right with random chicks (****y/funny and gunwitch is and always will be the way to go when it comes to getting random lays).

I am now 29, married for 5 years, and mostly happily.

Marriage is an awful thing. The process of continually being together with 1 person day in and day out, and dealing with them is unreasonable, and can only be successful if you love the ever living hell out of that person.

There is no alternative. You have to love that person fully inside and out in order to just make a marriage WORK - otherwise you are doomed to a life of misery.

It's not my beautiful nice giving hard working wife that's the problem, it's MARRIAGE that is the problem, in this society. There is only one way that marriage has a chance to work these days - it's if you love you wife and she loves you in every way possible, and then the negative effects of marriage can be forgiven because the love is strong.

I can not imagine a man being married to a woman who either doesn't enjoy having sex with them, or who takes money from them to buy things, or is really mean to them and talks to them with no respect, ect ect ect.

Now, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY

Before you ever DARE get married, you need to have dated all the psychos, nutjobs, sex addicts, cheaters, liars, prudes, girls that say something that doesnt quite make sense to you...........these all need to be out of the way, and not only out of the way, but they need to be DUMPED by YOU as a way of saying hell no i will never put up with this.

You simple don't know what a pBPD or a psycho or a sex addict (or opposite of sex addict) is until you date one, and then dump one. Yon never want to marry one and find out the hard way.

Final message in this thread:

Only marry if it makes you happier than you currentlyl are, and makes you happier than not being married. And never get married unless you have experienced dating and dumping unqualified women (psychos, bdps, sex-wierdos). You need to know exactly what you need to stay away from
After reading this I've concluded you are gay or at least bisexual, not that there's anything wrong with that.
I do feel bad for your wife though. Was there really no one else available? I mean a 450 lbs couch potato would have been an improvement over you. Seriously.
 

Greg S

Banned
Joined
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Colossus said:
Good post. I always appreciate these player-to-married man insights.

I have been having my own misgivings about marriage lately. And like you said, it's not my girlfriend. She's a virgin, sweet, giving, good self-esteem, young, pretty, and we share the same spiritual beliefs. Really and truly the best girl I have dated out of dozens and dozens and I can say with confidence she is the best---for me.

It's the prospect of living with one person, every motherfvcking day, for life that is scaring me. It does seem unreasonable but it's an all-or-nothing deal. Most women wont tolerate being a permanent gf, and what's the point of marriage if you are going to live apart like you are still bf/gf? I am overall happier with her than I was even in the peak of my playing days...it was fun to discover new tail but never as glossy as you imagine it. You get to see women for what they really are, and it becomes demoralizing after about 30 or so lays. I think it's just the chase and the excitement of new variety we crave.

I have no misgivings about this girl, it's the massive commitment I am about to undertake. Her mother just gave us her original engagement ring to use for our ring....and it just kind of hit me that this is no longer just an idea in my head.

Anyways, I have no point to make but thanks for the insight.
Does she realize she's about to marry a piece of garbage?
 

Greg S

Banned
Joined
Jul 14, 2015
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Skip To My Marriage said:
Hi guys,

It's skip2mylou781, I used to love this place when I was younger (19-21 yo), but then got banned multiple times because i a) talked back to idiots and b) created new accounts to talk back to the same idiots while attempting (and failing) to give advice to newbies on how to be successful with women. I apologize for that, this was like 7 years ago but I still apologize - i got all caught up in using the wrong method of communication (i was never a communications major!), and while my advice resonated with the 1% that it helped out, some took it as insults and hate, and i continued to be banned over and over, despite coming back in an effort to give more advice.

That's all nice and well, but here we are 7 years later. Back then i was around 20, fresh outta college, and hooking up left and right with random chicks (****y/funny and gunwitch is and always will be the way to go when it comes to getting random lays).

I am now 29, married for 5 years, and mostly happily.

Marriage is an awful thing. The process of continually being together with 1 person day in and day out, and dealing with them is unreasonable, and can only be successful if you love the ever living hell out of that person.

There is no alternative. You have to love that person fully inside and out in order to just make a marriage WORK - otherwise you are doomed to a life of misery.

It's not my beautiful nice giving hard working wife that's the problem, it's MARRIAGE that is the problem, in this society. There is only one way that marriage has a chance to work these days - it's if you love you wife and she loves you in every way possible, and then the negative effects of marriage can be forgiven because the love is strong.

I can not imagine a man being married to a woman who either doesn't enjoy having sex with them, or who takes money from them to buy things, or is really mean to them and talks to them with no respect, ect ect ect.

Now, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY

Before you ever DARE get married, you need to have dated all the psychos, nutjobs, sex addicts, cheaters, liars, prudes, girls that say something that doesnt quite make sense to you...........these all need to be out of the way, and not only out of the way, but they need to be DUMPED by YOU as a way of saying hell no i will never put up with this.

You simple don't know what a pBPD or a psycho or a sex addict (or opposite of sex addict) is until you date one, and then dump one. Yon never want to marry one and find out the hard way.

Final message in this thread:

Only marry if it makes you happier than you currentlyl are, and makes you happier than not being married. And never get married unless you have experienced dating and dumping unqualified women (psychos, bdps, sex-wierdos). You need to know exactly what you need to stay away from
I hope your wife divorces you and takes you for everything.
 

dfzero

Banned
Joined
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Skip To My Marriage said:
Hi guys,

It's skip2mylou781, I used to love this place when I was younger (19-21 yo), but then got banned multiple times because i a) talked back to idiots and b) created new accounts to talk back to the same idiots while attempting (and failing) to give advice to newbies on how to be successful with women. I apologize for that, this was like 7 years ago but I still apologize - i got all caught up in using the wrong method of communication (i was never a communications major!), and while my advice resonated with the 1% that it helped out, some took it as insults and hate, and i continued to be banned over and over, despite coming back in an effort to give more advice.

That's all nice and well, but here we are 7 years later. Back then i was around 20, fresh outta college, and hooking up left and right with random chicks (****y/funny and gunwitch is and always will be the way to go when it comes to getting random lays).

I am now 29, married for 5 years, and mostly happily.

Marriage is an awful thing. The process of continually being together with 1 person day in and day out, and dealing with them is unreasonable, and can only be successful if you love the ever living hell out of that person.

There is no alternative. You have to love that person fully inside and out in order to just make a marriage WORK - otherwise you are doomed to a life of misery.

It's not my beautiful nice giving hard working wife that's the problem, it's MARRIAGE that is the problem, in this society. There is only one way that marriage has a chance to work these days - it's if you love you wife and she loves you in every way possible, and then the negative effects of marriage can be forgiven because the love is strong.

I can not imagine a man being married to a woman who either doesn't enjoy having sex with them, or who takes money from them to buy things, or is really mean to them and talks to them with no respect, ect ect ect.

Now, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY

Before you ever DARE get married, you need to have dated all the psychos, nutjobs, sex addicts, cheaters, liars, prudes, girls that say something that doesnt quite make sense to you...........these all need to be out of the way, and not only out of the way, but they need to be DUMPED by YOU as a way of saying hell no i will never put up with this.

You simple don't know what a pBPD or a psycho or a sex addict (or opposite of sex addict) is until you date one, and then dump one. Yon never want to marry one and find out the hard way.

Final message in this thread:

Only marry if it makes you happier than you currentlyl are, and makes you happier than not being married. And never get married unless you have experienced dating and dumping unqualified women (psychos, bdps, sex-wierdos). You need to know exactly what you need to stay away from
You're a subhuman piece of garbage who isn't even potty trained.
 
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