Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

A few POF tips

Jariel

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I'm noticing a lot of guys are having problems getting replies from POF and as a result are becoming very bitter and negative.

I fell into that same trap recently and my profile reflected it. I talked about how most women there were attention wh0res and had a bit of a rant. The girls who I had been messaging suddenly stopped and the usual influx of messages I get (even from the fat and ugly girls) also stopped. What was I thinking? Nobody likes negativity. If you read a girl's profile and she sounds like a bitter man-hater or a habitual moaner, it's offputting, and the same is true for guys.

Unfortunately we have to accept that POF is overcrowded and these girls are getting a lot of attention. All the oneliners and tricks you can imagine, these girls have read before. They've answered questions such as "why are you on here?" and "how's your weekend?" over and over again.

Many women on there won't reply if they think you're cutting and pasting either. You have to show them that you've read their profile and are taking a genuine interest in them.

In terms of your profile, you have to make it reflect your personality and break away from the generic "I like this" and "I am seeking this". Of course, those are things you should include, but try to show a bit of humour and lightheartedness. I have a dry sense of humour so my profile reflects that. I wrote how I am looking for a replacement for my deceased wife and that I need to find a girl who is willing to wear her clothes and answer to her name. Surprisingly I'm getting a lot of emails and girls are really playing along with this.

The way I see it is that my profile is consistent with my personality. A girl who doesn't find that funny, won't find my sense of humour funny in person.

Obviously looks matter and is your foot in the door so to speak. Avoid pictures that show you misbehaving, drinking, surrounded by women. Yes I know the theory of social proof, but many of these women have their defences up and any indication you're a player or a jerk, and they won't give you a chance. Your first priority is to establish rapport and comfort levels, make her see you're cool to talk to.

Above all, you must be genuine! Look at the many profiles that state "looking for a genuine/honest/normal guy". They say this because there are so many guys there putting on an act, trying to be witty or cool, and generally desperate to impress. The problem here is that they're trying to be something they're not. Women can see through this and it stinks of insecurity.

Same goes for pictures of your flash car, anything that comes across as bragging or arrogant. These girls want a guy they can connect with on a mutual level.

The online game works quite differently to street game because these women are much quicker to disqualify guys based on first impressions. While many girls you meet via friends or in bars will continue to chase you in spite of your flaws or bad behaviour, most women online will just open another mail and move on.

However, even if you get your profile and messaging down to an art form, you should never expect to meet "the one" or invest all your energy into one girl. You are going to find a lot of them will flake at some point. Women, are by nature, indecisive and so you can't expect them to invest everything in you when they have so many options out there. So, the most important thing is that you approach POF with the intention of having fun. Let them think you're Mr Right and you will love them for life, but just go and enjoy the conversations, the dates and the sex, then let them make the moves from there.

It's quite a deceptive game where you portray yourself as this romantic and nice guy, but act like a player when the times comes.

I've dated girls from there for a couple of months, had a friend with benefits, but most have been one night stands or fvck buddies. However, when I do things right, I do manage to get a lot of replies and girls who message me out of the blue. There are a lot of -5s who message me, but my dates have all ranged from 7s to 9s, including fitness models and dance instructors.

Anyway, hope this helps.
 

Jariel

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Well I don't want to post my profile as I like to retain some anonomity on here, but I will post some screenshots.

This is my basic profile. I start with a joke which is typical of my sense of humour, then I just say a bit about myself and what I'm looking for. I play a little on the old fashioned and chivalrous angle as it tends to appeal to women. But on the whole it's just me being genuine and not trying to show off or portray myself as someone I'm not.

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/880/profile1r.jpg

This is an example of the messages I've had within the past month. You can see that I've not initiated many of these and I'm very selective with my replies. I do get a lot of ugly and fat girls emailing me, but 1 in 10 turn out to be really attractive.

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/6062/msgs1.jpg
http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9232/msgs2.jpg

I don't tend to send out a lot of emails myself as I find a lot of the girls who reply flake sooner or later. I much prefer to wait for them to come to me as it shows high interest from the start.
 

Solomon

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swag

Jariel said:
Well I don't want to post my profile as I like to retain some anonomity on here, but I will post some screenshots.

This is my basic profile. I start with a joke which is typical of my sense of humour, then I just say a bit about myself and what I'm looking for. I play a little on the old fashioned and chivalrous angle as it tends to appeal to women. But on the whole it's just me being genuine and not trying to show off or portray myself as someone I'm not.

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/880/profile1r.jpg

This is an example of the messages I've had within the past month. You can see that I've not initiated many of these and I'm very selective with my replies. I do get a lot of ugly and fat girls emailing me, but 1 in 10 turn out to be really attractive.

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/6062/msgs1.jpg
http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9232/msgs2.jpg

I don't tend to send out a lot of emails myself as I find a lot of the girls who reply flake sooner or later. I much prefer to wait for them to come to me as it shows high interest from the start.
I'm impressed but then again I'm not shocked brah, your very aesthetic so no surprise these hoes are miring you hard.

But I wanted to see what you wrote in your profile description if you can copy N paste it here brah it be appreciated
 

Jariel

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Solomon said:
I'm impressed but then again I'm not shocked brah, your very aesthetic so no surprise these hoes are miring you hard.

But I wanted to see what you wrote in your profile description if you can copy N paste it here brah it be appreciated
You're right that looks definitely matter when it comes to online dating, but when my profile has said the wrong things, I don't get a fraction as many emails or replies.

My profile description is in the top image btw. It's pretty straightforward, although Balrog does make a good point in his post above ^^ about adding some disclaimers.


thebalrog said:
Jariel - this is pretty good, thanks. One thing that I think really works is if you put some disclaimers/screens in the profile - "please don't message me if blah blah.." or writing some bad experiences you've had (even if you haven't) and mentioning that you don't want those women emailing. I think it "artificially" increases one's value, shows that one isn't desperate and potentially has other options and knows what he wants. just my 2 cents.

Yes, absolutely. I did this in some of my early profiles and what you said proved to be spot on. I stated "don't message me if you're still obsessed with your ex" and a few others and it was a good conversation starter that women could relate to. However, I'd advice not being too particular with these as I found some great women (mostly the modest types) thought I was too picky and they would never be good enough, so I probably scared a few people away with that.
 

Drewskie

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Jariel said:
Well I don't want to post my profile as I like to retain some anonomity on here, but I will post some screenshots.

This is my basic profile. I start with a joke which is typical of my sense of humour, then I just say a bit about myself and what I'm looking for. I play a little on the old fashioned and chivalrous angle as it tends to appeal to women. But on the whole it's just me being genuine and not trying to show off or portray myself as someone I'm not.

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/880/profile1r.jpg

This is an example of the messages I've had within the past month. You can see that I've not initiated many of these and I'm very selective with my replies. I do get a lot of ugly and fat girls emailing me, but 1 in 10 turn out to be really attractive.

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/6062/msgs1.jpg
http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9232/msgs2.jpg

I don't tend to send out a lot of emails myself as I find a lot of the girls who reply flake sooner or later. I much prefer to wait for them to come to me as it shows high interest from the start.
Holy sh1t, that many emails from girls that look pretty cute, I must say I am impressed.
I'm going to have to agree w solo, you must be a pretty good looking dude.
 

Jariel

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Thanks guys. I thought it was quite a normal or maybe a little above normal amount and was quite confused by all the posts here slating POF. I'm fortunate that I've had really good experiences. I've literally lost count of the dates I've had. 100% of them have ended with a kiss and a number led to sex.

Don't get me wrong. I've had a LOT of flakes and felt some despair. Most flake out after a few emails (especially if I mailed them first), a few have made a date then backed out last minute, and others have flaked after 2 or 3 dates. I put a lot of it down to the fact that these women have a lot of options and most guys are dispensible and the whole "grass is greener" thinking comes into play.

That said, there are some girls who have been obsessed with me for months now. Unfortunately these are the girls I'm not interested in. Maybe I need to use the same aloofness towards the girls I am interested in.
 

Solomon

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Jariel said:
Thanks guys. I thought it was quite a normal or maybe a little above normal amount and was quite confused by all the posts here slating POF. I'm fortunate that I've had really good experiences. I've literally lost count of the dates I've had. 100% of them have ended with a kiss and a number led to sex.

Don't get me wrong. I've had a LOT of flakes and felt some despair. Most flake out after a few emails (especially if I mailed them first), a few have made a date then backed out last minute, and others have flaked after 2 or
Once again Jariel not to put anything past you, I respect you shyt loads mate you know that. But Aesthetics+game=profit on POF. A lot of guys on POF are either sloppy, no game or both. If you have both your in the top 10%. I'm not aesthetic far from But with solid pro, pics and game I was in the Top 30%

ANYWAY GUYS RATE MY Old profile, I'm thinking of "rebooting" my POF profile. I know it's a tad long, Honest FB apperciated

Hey

You know I'm going be honest, I hate writing these things, Why? cause you only get one shot. Basically you are suppose to write something that makes you standout, or make you look better then what the next guy wrote. It's sort of like you being at a party and you have that one shot to make a good impression half the time you don't even get to finish making the impression you trying to make. Maybe just when you approached you made a weird face (think D*ck Cheney)or maybe he didn’t say the right thing at the right time to make you laugh at the right moment. You still following me? lol, I guess you could say in a sense I'm not your typical bachelor. I mean yeah sure I burn the Jack's Pizza in the oven, Or put certain clothes in the laundry just for me to, find out that it shrunk later(hate it when that happens). Sure I love watching Will Smith movies were he blows shyt up and is a little smart ass (probably cause I'm a shyt talker myself). I have quite old fashioned values and like a woman who appreciates chivalry. I find femininity in a woman extremely alluring and like a woman who respects a man for being a man. I think their is nothing sexier then a women whose "swag" matches mine. I'm the sort of guy who prefers romantic meals, walks around Lake Calhoun, and cosy nights in watching movies instead of being at the club (that's soooo 2008)

I love life, I embrace the good and the bad. I try to learn from my mistakes although I'm just human and sometimes I repeat them again. I love to be around people who are motivated and positive, people who can help me grow in life. I value loyalty because without it, a relationship is destined to fall. I'm focused, if I have a goal I'll get there, It might not be in a day or week but I'll get there. I'm fun and adventurous, I won't compromise who I am, my integrity is everything as well as my spirituality and believe in God. Please don't waste my time if your on any "games", I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.
 

Solomon

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Espi said:
^^^^Hey Solo not bad. But I would advise you to shorten it up a bit. Don't even try to use humor or colorful language or qualifiers. Just keep the profile short and "normal." In my opinion, the only 2 things a woman wants to know about you intially is that you're not ugly and that you're not crazy.

Here's my profile from match.com (my username is espi1971; you're welcome to view the entire profile there if you do a username search):

I'm 6'2 225 lbs., athletic, shaved head, blue eyes. I live and work in the Clearwater area. I occasionally go to bars/clubs. Enjoy the beach, trying new restaurants, music, working out, and travel.

Looking for someone who enjoys the same.

I'm not so specific as to say I only want to date a certain type or look. It's more about finding a person who has it all together, who knows who she is, and isn't looking for someone to complete her because she is complete on her own.

I’m looking for someone who has her own life with her own friends and her own agenda. I want to meet someone to spend time with, someone who likes to laugh, someone who is outgoing and a lot of fun to be around.


I kept my written profile rather short and purposefully kind of vague and generic because I wanted to see if such an approach would convey a higher level of intrigue. If she likes my photos, then she'll have to email me to find out more. I'm not even going to bother conveying any reasons why she should like me.

Along with the wrtiten bio, I posted 12 photos. You are posting photos, right? Just making sure because you likely won't get a response if you have none.
Whats up Espi!

Yeah I use to have 8 pics of me doing various things i.e. Playing Tennis, playing ping pong, the portrait picture of me looking bad ass in a suite, the social proof pics of me and my buds having fun, and some hot chicks looking alpha blah blah.

I'm not a bad looking guy just a bit on the huskier side, which I'm working on believe me so I can get back in top form

you said you had 12 pics don't you think that's overkill? I like the whole "vague" theme hence I think 5 pics should suffice for my reboot

thoughts?

p.s. I think showing humor has helped my page, a lot of women comment on my will smith line or the opening line, it shows vulnerability but that Im still funny etc, compared to lot of black guys it shows I got charisma (no racists!)

here is another version using Jariels Openr

Hey
I'm looking for a replacement for my dead wife, you must be tall, have sea green eyes, long hair.You must wear brown contacts, be a size 6-8 so you can fit into her clothes and answer to her name

;)


I love life, I embrace the good and the bad. I try to learn from my mistakes although I'm just human and sometimes I repeat them again. I love to be around people who are motivated and positive, people who can help me grow in life. I value loyalty because without it, a relationship is destined to fall have quite old fashioned values and like a woman who appreciates chivalry. I find femininity in a woman extremely alluring and like a woman who respects a man for being a man.
I'm focused, if I have a goal I'll get there. Please don't waste my time if your on any "games", I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.
 
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Jariel

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I definitely agree that my looks go in my favour. I'm not Johnny Depp, but I'm above average and on any kind of dating site that's your foot in the door. But I do find it my profile is lacking (or if the emails I send are lacking) then this advantage is fleeting.

I would really like to know what the more successful guys write in their emails to be honest. I have had some women where it's just clicked, the emails have been fun to read and write and I've felt a rapport developing, but some women take more work.

Great profile Solomon, it has a genuineness and a slight hint of modesty that will set you apart from the posers and gangsta wannabe and will probably appeal to a lot of women. However, I do agree with Espi that it could do with being shorter and more concise.

Espi: I like how it's right to the points that matter. Do you find this vagueness works for you? I know that maintaining mystery is always a good thing, but I also find that it helps to give them some kind of reference they can open with. In my case, most women emailing me are referring to my dead wife comment.

How you finding Match.com? Do you get better result than on POF?
 

Solomon

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Jariel said:
I definitely agree that my looks go in my favour. I'm not Johnny Depp, but I'm above average and on any kind of dating site that's your foot in the door. But I do find it my profile is lacking (or if the emails I send are lacking) then this advantage is fleeting.

I would really like to know what the more successful guys write in their emails to be honest. I have had some women where it's just clicked, the emails have been fun to read and write and I've felt a rapport developing, but some women take more work.

Great profile Solomon, it has a genuineness and a slight hint of modesty that will set you apart from the posers and gangsta wannabe and will probably appeal to a lot of women. However, I do agree with Espi that it could do with being shorter and more concise.

Espi: I like how it's right to the points that matter. Do you find this vagueness works for you? I know that maintaining mystery is always a good thing, but I also find that it helps to give them some kind of reference they can open with. In my case, most women emailing me are referring to my dead wife comment.

How you finding Match.com? Do you get better result than on POF?
my success has been up and down(mostly down this year) but when I had the most success its cause

1. The women messaged me first making it a cakewalk, light banter, casual talk sufficed i.e. how you doing, how was your weekend, or what you doing this weekend etc
2. 80% of the women I message are women who "trolled" or "spied" on my page my perfect backhand Roger Federer Opener (serve) rarely fails

Tsk Tsk tsk, don't be a spy, say hi, how are you doing today?;)

^^shyt works like crack, I had a couple chicks say because of that line they were intrigued when we ended up on a date

3. New chicks/Holiday/Winter times/Spring seems to attract a lot of women I think its the cycle of women leaving relationships looking for something new or the Holidays they don't wanna be alone right now it's a perfect time to hunt!(in field as well)


Man I can't wait to lose this babyfat lol

P.S. JARIEL HOW DO YOU PROPOSE I SHOULD SHORTEN MY PROFILE?

I THINK I'M GONNA REBOOT IT TODAY EEH
 

Jariel

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Solomon said:
Tsk Tsk tsk, don't be a spy, say hi, how are you doing today?;)

^^shyt works like crack, I had a couple chicks say because of that line they were intrigued when we ended up on a date
I like this a lot! I might start using this one as I've found that some of the women who look at my profile are too shy to make the first move or just don't send first messages as a rule.

As for shortening your profile. Perhaps you should try breaking into shorter paragraphs instead. People get quite intimidated by big chunks of text so maybe breaking it up will make it easier and more inviting to read.
 

Solomon

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Bodybuilding.com Thank You

ANYONE WHO GOES TO "THE MISC" YOU WILL FIND SOME GREAT ASS COPY AND PASTAS UTLIZE THEM AND PERSONALIZE ACCORIDNGLY

ANYONE IN SODA DON'T USE THAT **** CAUSE IM SPAMMING BRAODS RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK (SORRY BORK)

I would chop off both of my hands with a salty turkey carver then swim through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back pumping my face into the water for a chance to gaze into your eyes in person, ok so that was corny but erm that's all I had in my creative tank right now

OR IF SHE HAS GREAT HAIR

I would chop off both of my hands with a salty turkey carver then swim through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back pumping my face into the water for a chance to run the fingers of one of my prosthetic hands through your beautiful hair.


THERE SHYT LOADS MORE,

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=135218271&page=296
 

Jariel

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I got a very valuable insight yesterday which I thought I'd share. I went on a date with a girl I met via POF. We got talking about the types of people on there and what sorts of mails and profiles catch our attention.

She logged into POF on her phone and actually showed me that she had nearly 200 messages (in 2 days) and some of the weird mails she'd got. She told me she basically goes into POF and deletes all messages with the subject line "hi" or "hello". Of those remaining she scans over the profile photos and deletes any that don't appeal. Then of the mails she opens, if any of them are written in text speak or gangsta speak, she deletes them. If they are sexual in any way she deletes them or if they appear generic, such as "how are you?" or "How long you been here?" etc she deletes them.

I was especially flattered by the fact that she was the one who initiated contact with me, but she said my photos caught her interest and then my profile seemed funny, intelligent and genuine, which is the sort of guy she's looking for.

Well, this shows just how hard it is to get the attention of girls on POF and why you will often struggle to get a reply. Unless you make yourself stand out and make a good first impression, you're going to end up deleted with 100s of others without getting a chance.

What's more, it also shows how competetive POF is. If attractive women are getting 100 mails per day, then that's thousands of guys we have to compete with. It's no wonder there are so many flakes on there.
 

DarkShade

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If you have an Okcupid profile, they have a "Which is your best face" photo test, where your photos get tossed in a hopper full of other guys' photos and girls pick which one they like the most between two photos (they click the one they like and two new photos appear, etc)

What this did was enable me to toss the ones they didn't like and prominently display the ones they did. I had three main pictures, one is a full body shot but the quality isn't that great, so you get a general idea what I look like, and it appealed to girls in the 21-29 range, but another picture of me at work didn't appeal nearly as much in that age bracket, but older women in the 30-39 range liked it significantly more than the full body shot... food for thought
 

Mr. Suave

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All dating websites are terrible for several reasons:

1. The girl's standards are higher than they would be in real life
2. On a dating website she can ignore you
3. When you meet up in real life she could be uglier than her pictures show, or you could simply not get on

If you meet a girl in real life you combat all three of those problems.
 

pdx1138

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All dating websites are great for several reasons:

1. Enables one to contact women instantly, who have similar interests.
2. Helps those that have difficulty with cold approaches.
3. You can tell immediately if they are overweight/have kids.
 

Mr. Suave

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pdx1138 said:
All dating websites are great for several reasons:

1. Enables one to contact women instantly, who have similar interests.
2. Helps those that have difficulty with cold approaches.
3. You can instantly tell if they are overweight.
That's what it is really...

But personally, I don't see the point in messaging ugly fat chicks who have the standards of Jessica Alba over POF when I can go to the club and take home a hot blonde girl.
 

pdx1138

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Mr. Suave said:
That's what it is really...

But personally, I don't see the point in messaging ugly fat chicks who have the standards of Jessica Alba over POF when I can go to the club and take home a hot blonde girl.
agree
 
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