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Old 02-12-2013, 12:40 PM   #1
LiveFreeX
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I hate people who borrow money

I thought I'd start up a thread about a topic that REALLY pisses me off.

People who borrow money.

I hate 99% of people who borrow money, and by borrow I mean debts to friends (not banks). Most of the time, these people are totally irresponsible butt wipes with no real intention of paying money back. Their lives are usually sh1t and they end up going into more debt or only paying back a little of what they borrow. I find money borrowers get into the habit of constantly borrowing per month and when you look at their personal situations they are usually playing 'the victim card'.

I'll give u an example: I have a colleague and the guy is so irresponsible he moved to this new city with almost no money in his bank account. They declared he didn't have enough money to eat. The boss lent him about 4000 dollars and later 'the boss' became the root of all his 'issues'. He started showing up late for work and felt it was the bosses fault for setting such an early and 'unfair' time, he was the only one late to work. He borrowed smaller amounts from other co-workers and asked me, I promptly told him to fvck off. At the same time he was blowing tons of money on women he knew, going out on dates and eating expensive dinners. I said to him, dude... how the hell can you borrow money and then blow it all... you should only borrow money if you absolutely need it for survival. He told me that he absolutely needed sex for survival... in the end he came up with nothing and he is half way through the month and broke again... this after having another $20 dollar dinner. He now plans to buy a new computer with his next paycheck, I asked him what he plans to do about his debts to which he replied he'll get to them later but a computer is important. If I was the boss or the colleague that lent him the money, I would be absolutely furious.

What the fvck is wrong with people... this guy is a univ grad, you would think they were smarter than that but often times I find educated people are also some of the stupidest people. He is in debt for over $40k with no hope of ever paying it off. He buys starbucks in the morning, McDonalds in the evening, Starbucks again at night and then has another meal after that. He's also fat, lazy and completely irresponsible. Where the hell do these people develop these attitudes from???

I met a Nigerian guy a little while ago, we were coworkers, he had a nickname like Kaos or something. Anyway, one day he tells me that he is short money this month and that he just needs to borrow 250 to buy some food till the end of the month. He was a good work mate and I decided I would happily help him out even though it sort of broke my rule, we had worked together and hung out for about 6 months. Soo the next day I see dude sitting outside KFC chowing down on a bucket of chicken, ice cream and a bunch of other ****, I ask him how much he spent and he says its none of my business...

the end of the month rolls around and he has a new six hundred dollar jacket but hasn't paid me my cash, I mention it to him but he sort of waves it away.
The next month comes and goes and he has a new Ipad and tells me he

"needed it because its so HIM"

but no mention of my money. I ask him about it and he gets in my face and says "Man why you always gotta be asking me about that, I'll pay you, I'll pay you!!! just backoff!!!". The next month comes and I'm like "Can you give me back my money its payday?". He has the money in front of him but says "No I need this money for something, I'll give it to you later"... so I get immensely pissed and say " You are really starting to piss me off dude, I've asked nicely a few times now". He replies "Man, I was being a friend and I let you lend me that money cause I thought you were cool like that, take your fckin money" and throws it at me.

This guy is a Doctor.

I fvcking hate these types of people...fvcking hate them.

Any thoughts on money skills? Am I justified to hate these fvcks or am I going overboard... I'm usually very vocal about it to people but I find a lot of these types of borrowers use a victim mentality. And they borrow money for the stupidest reasons, my brother in law for instance asked to borrow a thousand dollars a year ago. I asked for what and he said to impress his mother and put her up in a nice hotel. When I asked about a repayment plan, he told me he'd pay it over the course of two or three years. I said no. I don't understand the mentality behind this? Go into debt for something so stupid and then end up owing people... why???

End Rant..
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Old 02-12-2013, 01:00 PM   #2
PeakIV
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Rule number 1. never lend money to friends or family ever, you are asking for trouble.
If a member of your family wants a handout and you can afford to GIVE them some money that's up to you.
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:26 PM   #3
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it's about 200 years old. "neither a borrower nor a lender be".
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Old 02-13-2013, 08:20 PM   #4
Warrior74
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My father always told me, never lend money you want to see back. If you want to help someone, make it a one time gift. After that, they are on their own. What it takes is being a man and saying that to them upfront.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:46 PM   #5
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after i sold my first company and i had more money than i could reasonably spend i wanted to help everyone. i'm a helper by nature. i am a sucker for a hard luck story. and i can honestly say just about every last person i lended money to, ended up using me or abusing me or resenting me. never huge amounts of money but still.

see what i've figured out is that there is no positive end game to loaning money. if I do loan you money and you don't pay it back which you won;'t, i'm going to resent you for it and even worse you are going to eventually ask for more. if I don't loan you money you are going to get mad at me. there is no positive end game.

My mother, we aren't on the best of terms but one thing she always told me and it makes more sense now that i'm almost 30.. loan your time, loan your support, loan your words of encouragement but never loan your money. if someone needs help i will take them somewhere or i will go with them to a meeting or i will take them and help them get a job interview or something even if it means me missing out on money. but i wont' loan a cent to anyone beucase nothing good ever comes from it.

it's better to screen for friends who don't even try to borrow money. you nip it in the butt by hanging out with people who aren't looking for free rides and who want to earn their own keep.
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:17 PM   #6
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What is so hard about telling people you don't have the money? Here is how it goes

"Hey can I borrow some money?"

Sorry, I'm broke.

How hard is that?
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:37 PM   #7
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I think the human mind's reward mechanisms just aren't wired for lending between friends to work out. I've read that we tend to overestimate the value of any deed done by us and underestimate the value of any deed done for us.

In high school I was talking to a buddy once and mentioned in passing that I needed $175 to buy my first guitar with, thinking nothing of it. Without much prompting from me, he walked in the next day and handed me a clip with $175 like it was no big deal. It was kind of unspoken that he knew I'd pay him back.

In those days, for my peers and I (or at least for me) $175 was a serious deal of money - it was something that took a while to save up to, since neither I nor any of my friends ever had a job at that point. All my money came from random events - my parents handing me $15 for mowing the lawn (i know lol), tutoring/teaching someone, etc..

Thank goodness I was a trustworthy guy who ultimately paid him back in full (and thankfully $20-30 of it was through winning wagers against him in this game we used to play). It took a WHILE though (in high school standards), like 2-4 months I think. For the most part, I gave him my cash when I had it. But not always. I even remember feeling that I wasn't obligated to give him money as soon as I got it, I even caught myself feeling like I was being generous for giving him my cash as soon as I got my hands on it.

It's the only time in my life I've borrowed money from a friend (outside of small stuff like someone spotting me for a meal or something), but I remember those feelings. Subconsciously, I considered myself square with my buddy long before we were actually squared up.

I'd only imagine those feelings would be amplified under the demands of adult life. Sustenance, needs, wants..it's easy to see them taking precedence over what now feels like an old, forgotten "moral" commitment.


But with that being said, I agree with you. Fwck people who borrow money, I'm glad I don't have any people in my life who ask for it...(yet)
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:48 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malice
What is so hard about telling people you don't have the money? Here is how it goes

"Hey can I borrow some money?"

Sorry, I'm broke.

How hard is that?
because in my case they know you do.

it's like when you are a kid and you see the ice cream man and you ask your mom does she have 2 dollars so you can get some ice cream. you ****ign know even as a child at least i did momma has 2 dollars. the real question is does she feel like giving it to me.
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Old 02-13-2013, 10:50 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by backbreaker
because in my case they know you do.

it's like when you are a kid and you see the ice cream man and you ask your mom does she have 2 dollars so you can get some ice cream. you ****ign know even as a child at least i did momma has 2 dollars. the real question is does she feel like giving it to me.


they don't know sh!t. Just tell them your site is shutdown and you are broke. Who won't believe that?
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Old 02-14-2013, 07:49 AM   #10
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Red face

Quote:
Originally Posted by Malice
they don't know sh!t. Just tell them your site is shutdown and you are broke. Who won't believe that?
no one beucase that's not where my real money comes/came from and anyone. I could shut my business down today and not lose an ounce of sleep i do it because i like doing it not because i need the money.

plus in general the lifestyle that we live, i don't blow money but we live comfortable. my wife, who doesn't work can drive her convertible Mercedes tot eh mall and buy new shoes just about every week but i can't loan you 50 bucks lol? and everyone knows me knows i gamble.. just about everyday. large sums of money. so you can go blow thousands at the horse track but you can't give me 100 dollars to pay this bill/do this/buy food/whatever?

the truth is more convenient. i could but i won't beucase it will ruin our relationship. and if they honestly have a problem with that, that's not someone I particalrly want in my life anyway I don't or at least try not to deal with people that petty.



just stating that you can't put a blanket statement over everything. everyone's situation is a tad different. that goes with women as well. they are all are a tad different and you have to know your opponent before taking a course of action.
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Old 02-14-2013, 08:49 AM   #11
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Someone you work closely with.

I like to show the guys in the office what kind of stuff I'm investing in and talk to them about it, not brag, just talk. I should really take up selling, I like to get people in on deals and stuff...anyway..today that same guy tried to make me feel guilty for not lending him money and told me I was a douche cause I have more than enough... like somehow he is entitled to the money I've saved in the bank.

Today he borrowed more money off the boss to go have another expensive dinner... I honestly don't get his rational, he told HR, he better get paid on time OR ELSE!!! This is making him really unpopular in the company because he complains frequently about #1. The company not always paying on time and #2. Being broke.. Sometimes the company pays us within a few days, sometimes a week late... I could care less, I have a ton of money saved in the bank and I'm always prepared for a few months ahead. Just in case.
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Old 02-14-2013, 10:23 AM   #12
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loaned my sister £500 4 months ago, she and her hub nearly defaulted on the mortgage, having money and health probs. facebook post 3 weeks later, "we are going to vegas next year to renew our marriage vows"!!!!! wtf?
ive had one repayment, the rest have stalled, never ever again!
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:41 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveFreeX
I
I met a Nigerian guy a little while ago, we were coworkers, he had a nickname like Kaos or something. Anyway, one day he tells me that he is short money this month and that he just needs to borrow 250 to buy some food till the end of the month. He was a good work mate and I decided I would happily help him out even though it sort of broke my rule, we had worked together and hung out for about 6 months. Soo the next day I see dude sitting outside KFC chowing down on a bucket of chicken, ice cream and a bunch of other ****, I ask him how much he spent and he says its none of my business...
This is possibly the funniest thing I've ever read
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Old 02-14-2013, 02:09 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by betheman
loaned my sister £500 4 months ago, she and her hub nearly defaulted on the mortgage, having money and health probs. facebook post 3 weeks later, "we are going to vegas next year to renew our marriage vows"!!!!! wtf?
ive had one repayment, the rest have stalled, never ever again!
sad really. OP I know what you mean ...it can be really scary how some people see money as something to be put in the expenses shredder
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Old 02-15-2013, 07:46 PM   #15
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about 12 years ago, I gave a buddy $1500, while he was midway thru a very long prison sentence (for a crime he didn't commit, too) within 6 months of his release, (he was 70 years old)! He'd paid it back. He did all that time because he would not rat out a friend, and later, would not admit guilt (necessary to get paroled). there are good reasons why he was/is my number one buddy.
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Old 02-27-2013, 02:17 AM   #16
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I too don't like peoples borrowing money from me. I too don't like to borrow anything from others too.
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Old 02-27-2013, 01:13 PM   #17
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others have NO claim on my money, nor on yours. if you CHOOSE to lend or give it to them, that's your decision. anyone trying to guilt trip you, or whatever, is ACTIVELY an enemy, so treat them accordingly.
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Old 02-27-2013, 01:33 PM   #18
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I'm wary of friends borrowing money as well, though it's never been for hundreds of dollars.

If I let them borrow and they don't pay me back the 1st time they borrow, they won't see another cent. If they ask to borrow again, I simply point to the debt they currently own. At least with my people, this seems understood. There haven't been any disputes about this policy.
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Old 02-27-2013, 02:51 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sageproduct
Thank goodness I was a trustworthy guy who ultimately paid him back in full (and thankfully $20-30 of it was through winning wagers against him in this game we used to play). It took a WHILE though (in high school standards), like 2-4 months I think. For the most part, I gave him my cash when I had it. But not always. I even remember feeling that I wasn't obligated to give him money as soon as I got it, I even caught myself feeling like I was being generous for giving him my cash as soon as I got my hands on it.

It's the only time in my life I've borrowed money from a friend (outside of small stuff like someone spotting me for a meal or something), but I remember those feelings. Subconsciously, I considered myself square with my buddy long before we were actually squared up.

I'd only imagine those feelings would be amplified under the demands of adult life. Sustenance, needs, wants..it's easy to see them taking precedence over what now feels like an old, forgotten "moral" commitment.


What's strange is that I have always felt exactly the opposite. When someone goes out of their way for me, I tend to return it several-fold. And everyone I ever did that for ended up becoming a seriously reliable friend (with 1 exception).


And I feel so obligated to return the favor when they need it, that I would never consider turning down someone that I felt I "owed" due to their doing something for me. My best friends were built this way, people that I proved could trust me and in turn I could trust them.


But I totally agree with you, there are way too many people out there that just don't give a $hit. You have to drop them fast and go NC them just like you would any woman that doesn't deserve your time.



Quote:
Originally Posted by backbreaker
because in my case they know you do.

it's like when you are a kid and you see the ice cream man and you ask your mom does she have 2 dollars so you can get some ice cream. you ****ign know even as a child at least i did momma has 2 dollars. the real question is does she feel like giving it to me.


BB,

What has always worked for me....

Quote:
Bummish-friend: Hey man, I need some money to xxxxx, can you help out?
Me: I would but it's all tied up in investments.
Bummish-friend: Aw, ok. <they may or may not believe it, but they still end it there>
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