This Is What Ended My 1st Marriage

[5string]

One day, I found a note from my then 1st wife by the coffee pot. It said:

I hate to do this in a note, but I don't know what to do or how to present this to you. I have thought alot about this for a long, long, long, time and I think you'll probably agree, I just don't think we'll make it to 25. I'm just at a loss. I'm unhappy as you are and you can't tell me you're not. I think we need to go our separate ways. We can't seem to communicate on the same level and it breaks my heart. How does one put this in a note, when two people have been together for for 24 yrs? I can't live like this.

I went off to work that day, came home, got up to go to work the next day and found a card in my truck that said:

5string
I can't tell you how awful I feel for what I have done to you and our relationship. It's tearing me apart to see the anguish, hurt and despair in your face. I will never ever forgive myself. You are a good looking, kind hearted man. Everything you said yesterday was true. I want to make amends. ILY

Then, I divorced her. She had been doing sh!t like this for the last few years of the marriage. Threatening to leave, etc. I had told her if she ever threatened to leave again I'd end it. It hurt, but I followed through. There is more to it of course.

This is just a rant I suppose.

P!ssed me off when I found the note and card. Just shredded them both. Thanks for listening.

[betheman]

How long ago was this 5string? sounds like it still smarts a bit!
there is of course more to it, from the nature of the notes and contents, it appears she is deeply ashamed of something and that the something or somethings involve another?

[5string]

Originally Posted by betheman

How long ago was this 5string? sounds like it still smarts a bit!
there is of course more to it, from the nature of the notes and contents, it appears she is deeply ashamed of something and that the something or somethings involve another?

Bout 3 yrs ago. I doubt she ever cheated if that's what you are asking.

I have moved on and am remarried. Don't even think about the 1st wife any longer. It was just constant sh!t tests all the time. I had given her one last chance. She obviously did not listen. Just got peeved when I found that stuff in my desk today. Forgot where it had gone. Conjured up a bad part of my life.

[st_99]

Sounds like you just married a dud and maybe hung around too long. At least you corrected the problem, you only get one life, better late then never.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Women crave the chemical rush that comes from suspicion and indignation. If you don't provide it, they'll happily get it from tabloids, romance novels, The View, Tyra Banks or otherwise living vicariously through their single girlfriends. In the prolonged absence of drama and indignation women will find it or create it for themselves.

[backbreaker]

interesting.. proceed...

[jophil28]

Originally Posted by Rollo Tomassi

Women crave the chemical rush that comes from suspicion and indignation. If you don't provide it, they'll happily get it from tabloids, romance novels, The View, Tyra Banks or otherwise living vicariously through their single girlfriends. In the prolonged absence of drama and indignation women will find it or create it for themselves.

To add to RT's last sentence above.
Yes, I have experienced faked up drama from women that, at the time, felt like sh1t tests to me. Those events usually came "out of nowhere", and that is why they were bewildering -there appeared to be no precipitating causes.

These were not true "tests" but rather moments designed and manufactured to trigger a brain chemical rush in her.
These always came in peace time, when things between us were settled and we were sailing along nicely.

She was bored , and most disturbingly she sought to break that boredom by playing a potentially destructive game in the core of our relationship.

This is the same mentality as a kid who sets fire to the barn just to witness the sight of parents and firefighters struggling to put out the blaze.

[slickaz]

my last LTR would make drama out of everything.
she would pour over my facebook comments to my friends and see if she can find something on me.

I would always go off at her about bringing BS to the table and i would kick her the F out my house if she talked sh1t to me.

later on that evolved to a simple:
have you got proof? no? the fvk off and call one of ur friends to bish about.

the last time it happened:
she went off about how she knows im cheating, im sleeping around, she doesnt feel right. blah blah blah

so i said ok, tomorrow you'll have something to talk about.
i went out that night with my friends to a party.
i hooked up with a girl, who is a promo model and my girl at the time HATED with a PASSION!...
told my friends to take pics of my hands on her rack.

next day i openly posted on my friends facebook:
hey bro! bangin party last night, yo dont post those pics of me and brandy and if you do, dont tag me..hahaha..

she obviously saw this facebook post on his page and called me went off at me hard!

i calmly told her..look, you have been looking for proof to show im a bad guy...so heres ur proof..now break up with me and hate me forever..thats ok with me..goodbye.

deleted her number.
never heard from her directly again, but have heard she absolutely hates herself for putting me through that crap..she found out that i never cheated on her while we were seeing each other..

[sharkbeat]

Women feed on drama
Men feed on power.

[samspade]

Originally Posted by jophil28

This is the same mentality as a kid who sets fire to the barn just to witness the sight of parents and firefighters struggling to put out the blaze.

Funny, scary, and true all at once.

[Zunder]

Originally Posted by jophil28

To add to RT's last sentence above.
Yes, I have experienced faked up drama from women that, at the time, felt like sh1t tests to me. Those events usually came "out of nowhere", and that is why they were bewildering -there appeared to be no precipitating causes.

These were not true "tests" but rather moments designed and manufactured to trigger a brain chemical rush in her.
These always came in peace time, when things between us were settled and we were sailing along nicely.

She was bored , and most disturbingly she sought to break that boredom by playing a potentially destructive game in the core of our relationship.

This is the same mentality as a kid who sets fire to the barn just to witness the sight of parents and firefighters struggling to put out the blaze.

The things is....most women themselves are BORING. The most interesting women I have met have, unfortunately, had a large dose of testostene passed onto them from their parents and are the more the butch / tomboy types. I don't mind hanging out with these types, but don't want to fvck them. The more feminine ones I want to fvck are all into the routine of Oprah, women's magazines, crapppy reality tv shows, shopping....all the stuff I dont give s sh!t about.

[PokerInTheRear]

And in comes one of the fundamental differences between men and women...

Women will talk 5hit and have nothing behind it, but if a man is a man, when he makes a statement, he stands behind it completely.

I don't know how many times I have flat-out warned a woman that I will not tolerate a particular thing or behavior from her... My warning only becomes an invitation for her to test me and she therefore forces my hand. I have to walk at that point. 99% of the women I have encountered pull this crap in some form or another.

This is the reason that a man can only trust a woman's actions. They are so ruled by emotion that they can easily spew meaningless words.

[countermart]

This was one of the main reasons I posted the requirements for writing a Mills and Boon story the other day, that got no replies. What intrigued me was how one of the main criteria was writing conflict into the stories, and to start with conflict between the man and women as soon as possible.

I agree with the other guys here, a lot of women love relationship drama, and if things are not drama filled enough they will deliberately throw a spanner in the works. This does often come during calm periods in the relationship when everything is going well. It’s not a sh8t test, it’s a drama high for her, and sometimes she is happy to risk the relationship to get it.

Women will often say in a break up situation, “My husband would not fight with me”. They see this as a negative because they interpret the fact that he would fight with them as meaning he, “cares enough to fight”.

But frankly from the guy’s point-of-view, who needs it?

I find I am continually disappointed by women’s thought processes and standards. So much is superficial, illogical and faked with women, from the make-up that makes an ugly girl ok, to problems where she just wants to discuss, she does not want you to solve the problem.

Most women seem to like to live in a sea of emotional turmoil. Frankly, I would hate to go through my life ruled mostly by my emotions. No wonder so many women have deep down self-esteem issues.

But it cannot be easy for them either. Men are strongly lead by superficial beauty, to quote Alfie, "She doesn't have enough of the superficial things that really matter".

The further one looks into the Matrix, the less he likes what he sees.

In the end as a DJ one has to simply set their own standards, understand that women are not enough to revolve your entire life around, and to exit them stage left if they do not measure up to the standards you have set for yourself.

Countermart

[Zarky]

what's the deal with all the marrying, OP? Married for 24 years, divorced, then married again after just a couple of years? sup with that? Sounds like Larry King. Marriage is very 20th century.

[5string]

Originally Posted by Zarky

what's the deal with all the marrying, OP? Married for 24 years, divorced, then married again after just a couple of years? sup with that? Sounds like Larry King. Marriage is very 20th century.

Larry King? Really? My 1st marriage was a mistake. Simple. Ever made a mistake yourself? I don't feel the need to explain myself to you.

[SteR]

Apologies for bumping an old thread but I wonder, 5string, whether you regret your first marriage entirely? Having been in a second happy marriage, can you look back on your first and see it was doomed from the outset?

Personally I believe in marriage, provided it's to the right type of person. I often find myself wondering whether I'd be able to distinguish these types of women from others and I'm just interested to know whether you intuitively knew this but pushed forward regardless?

[5string]

Originally Posted by SteR

Apologies for bumping an old thread but I wonder, 5string, whether you regret your first marriage entirely? Having been in a second happy marriage, can you look back on your first and see it was doomed from the outset?

Personally I believe in marriage, provided it's to the right type of person. I often find myself wondering whether I'd be able to distinguish these types of women from others and I'm just interested to know whether you intuitively knew this but pushed forward regardless?

Yes brother. I do regret it. It cost me the best years of my life and I cannot get them back. I was an afc chump d!ckhead who thought with his pecker instead of his brain. At least my stepkids turned out great. I can take credit for that.

Don't EVER marry a single mommy like I did. You'll fvckin pay bigtime.

[DonaldWanold]

GOOD for you, drama beyatches never stop...

I hate to hear stories of friends who are constantly dragged through hell becuase of drama addicted women.